Fether

Here is what I found: 1) The church does not oppose banning conversion therapy, the mention explicitly that many forms of conversion therapy are extremely harmful and that the church does not practice such things. The following is a direct quote from the letter: "Family Services has a longstanding and express policy against using therapies that seek to "repair," "convert," or "change" sexual orientation, such as from homosexual to heterosexual. Research demonstrates that electric shock, aversion, and other analogous therapies are both ineffective and harmful to youth who experience same-sex attraction. Those, including youth, who seek therapies that constitute sexual orientation change efforts will not receive them from FS counselors. Instead, FS counselors assist youth clients in understanding sexual orientation issues in the context of their families and social networks, their expressed religious identity, and their self-determined personal goals, including those pe1iaining to their faith. Gender identity. While many issues of gender identity are not well understood, FS counselors do not provide therapies designed to change a client' s established gender identity. FS counselors assist youth clients in understanding gender identity issues, including gender dysphoria, in the context of their families and social networks, their expressed religious identity, and their self-determined personal goals, including those pertaining to their faith. FS counselors assist young children in healthy identity exploration and development. They also help parents of young children in understanding gender identity and gender dysphoria issues experienced by their children so they can appropriately assist their children in their identity exploration and development. Family Services supports the ability of other responsible practitioners to provide ethical treatments... " 2) The proposed bill, as it stands, will protect youth (age 17 and younger) who experience same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria from incredibly harmful conversion therapy techniques. But it will ALSO prevent those same youth that ALSO wants to continue living the gospel as taught by the church from receiving professional help. They would be stuck receiving guidance from Bishops and parents (which we can all agree is far from ideal). The following is quoted from the letter from the LDSFS. 3) The LDSFS has positive feelings toward the anti conversion therapy law that was proposed earlier this year. The letter says "HB 399 represents a good-faith effort to grapple with some of the fine distinctions that must be drawn. We are confident that additional discussion among stakeholders and the people' s representatives in the Legislature can produce a workable legislative solution that addresses many of the concerns raised here. 4) The church is in favor of putting this bill through the legistlation to get it passed. The letter says "With respect, the Governor and DOPL should allow the Legislature to perform its constitutional function in this important policy matter." 5) Lastly, here is what the church proposes the changes should be: "If DOPL is not convinced to leave the issue of conversion therapy to the Legislature, it should amend the Proposed Rule to clarify that each of the following practices does not fall within the definition of sexual orientation or gender identity "change efforts": * Therapies that assist a client in achieving the client's self-determined goal to modify or cease behaviors or expressions that the client determines are inconsistent with the client's values, or that are objectively dysfunctional or destructive. (ie allow therapists to assist youth in living the gospel dispite their homosexual / gender dysphoria) * Therapies that address premarital, extramarital, irresponsible, abusive, or predatory sexual activities. (ia including discussions about the Law of Chastity in therapy sessions) * Therapies that discuss the client' s moral or religious beliefs or practices. * Therapies that account for the client's capacity for sexual fluidity. (ie Discussing the potentiality of a shift in their sexuality) * Therapies that explore other psychological conditions as potential contributors to reported gender dysphoria. (ie suggesting that in some cases, they are not "born" that way) * Therapies that account for gender fluidity in children or for the likelihood that gender confusion or dysphoria in prepubescent children will desist without the need for medical interventions, including therapies that encourage a wait-and-see approach. (ie suggesting that these feelings of gender dysphoria may just be a phase of exploration and that they will cease. * Therapies that explore factors associated with sudden onset gender dysphoria. * Non-coercive, age-appropriate therapies that seek to assist a client in resolving gender dysphoria without the need for medical interventions, including counseling with parents about appropriate ways to facilitate identity exploration and development." Ultimately, the church wants to allow the youth to decide what kind of therapy they want to pursue and not be forced down the path of living a homosexual/transgender life as pushed by the current standing of this rule. If you want the truth, go to the source. If you want your narrative, find a website (or many) that supports it.

If you find it let me know. I have quite a few friends and family members having a fit

https://le.utah.gov/~2019/bills/hbillint/HB0399S05.pdf https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/statement-proposed-rule-sexual-orientation-gender-identity-change I am no lawyer so I couldn’t necessarily find any thing I’m the bill that is worth opposing. It seems to me that the writing in this bill has the Church in mind and is seeking to allow its members and leadership to continue to preach the sinfulness of homosexual skirt and the falsehood if the transgender movement and even still allow bishops to persuade those with transgender feelings to no change their gender. It only prevents professional therapists from doing any form of conversion therapy. The only thing I can see this preventing is a bishop suggesting a youth who feels he/she is transgender to a therapist for the soul purpose of convincing them out of being transgender. Can someone explain to me what is vague about this bill that the church would want amended?

I’m actually skeptical that anything “amazing” will be done or said. I have a strong feeling it will be just a bunch of talks about the restoration, potentially done in a different location or maybe the release of the 2nd/3rd Book in “The Saints” series or other publications. No new doctrine, no crazy announcement, no revelation to be added to scripture. Just a typical GC with a focus on the restoration. I think only those that prepared themselves, as pres Nelson discussed, will have any notably different experience.

Funny enough, the first apostle I remember sustaining was Elder Rasband. I was 14 when Elder Anderson was as called, but I had little interest in the gospel and I probably didn’t watch that session of GC

here is another incredible video. Brad Wilcox and an evangelical have and incredible discussion. Though I’m not a fan of Bro. Wilcox’s bombardment of platitudes, he does explain things in an incredible way. His responses are most always incredible.

After doing some simple gospel library searches, I found that it was first used seemingly as an anecdote in 2007 by Elaine S Dalton (counselor in The young woman presidency), again in 2009 by elder Christofferson, and then exploded in use in 2013 CORRECTION: the 2007 use was a quote from Jefferey R Holland from October 2006

I am no therapist, psychiatrist , and have had zero experience in this situation. But I still stand behind what I said. With the relationship my wife and I have, upfront and complete honesty coupled with a non-accusing tone has done wonders in our marriage. Admittedly, she (and I like to think I as well) is super down to earth and is rarely motivated by emotion. I have used this technique in the past, but not as harsh demeaning language as it wasn’t as serious of an issue as this. But if his wife is cheating on him or is at least playing with the idea... its likely she FEELS he isn’t meeting any of her needs. The first step in fixing an issue like this is validating feelings. Start off by agreeing with what we know she is feeling and it opens doors that have otherwise been shut. And I think it is immensely important that you lay out clear options. Divorce or stay together. If you just talk about it without giving any clear end goal, at least in my experience, nothing will come of it and it will just be a blip in a long life of nothing happening.

Haha xD we can. What I was saying is that I met someone who is choosing to live a higher, more strict, standard when it comes to viewing media. One higher than even one many of our apostles choose to follow.

I would definitely confront it. I’m not a professional counselor or anything though, but having gone so long with such lack of communication, getting everything you feel out would seem awful. And waiting to find proof or evidence seems like a good way to get an “I got you!!” Moment... which is probably not what is wanted or what would be healthy. May not be the best decision depending on you and what all is going on. But I wouldn’t definitely approach her and put it more on my back as fears I have instead of accusing her.

@SomeGuy The biggest advice I can offer is communication. It seems like there is this huge wall between you where you are both thinking to yourself "Do we divorce? Do we keep this going? It ain't working obviously. I bet he/she is thinking the same thing. What do I say? I don't know. Ill just let this build and deal with it later" If I was ripped out of this reality and immediately placed in a reality like yours, but with my wife, I would immediately sit her down, break down ALL those walls, and hit the issue point-blank. Don't trim the issue, uproot the entire tree and see what happens. You are clearly in a state of relationship limbo and slowly drifting away further and further. I would literally sit her down and say "Wife... I know I have been an awful husband. I know I am not meeting any of your needs. I know that you are looking to others for the love you crave. And I know I am no longer attractive to you. But I love you and I want to change. I want to be the man you are excited to come home to see, and love to be around. I am also afraid that you are cheating on me. I don't know for sure, but it hurts me to think that that is a possibility and I would like to know the truth (and believe whatever she says even if I don't think it is true, the truth will eventually come out). I want to get this figured out right now. Whether that means we make some drastic changes and become who we ought to be. Or we divorce. I can't keep living with this un-surety any more. So where are you at with this? Please be honest, cause I want this fixed." ... and then wait for her to respond. If she wants to figure things out, IMMEDIATELY sign up for couples counseling. It is incredible and will help you and your wife see your own faults and learn what each other is thinking. My wife and I had a fairly healthy relationship from the start of our marriage, but we had some minor things that my wife needed figuring out so she signed us up for counseling. At first, I thought it was a little silly, but after the first session, I was sold on seeing a counselor. They are incredible I would also HIGHLY recommend reading / listening to on Audible the book "His Needs Her Needs" TOGETHER (https://www.amazon.com/His-Needs-Her-Building-Affair-Proof/dp/0800719387) And of course... read your scriptures, your patriarchal blessings, keep scripture notes... say your prayers and make them heartfelt. Keep a journal and write down your impressions, I promise God will speak. These aren't just arbitrary things we are asked to do as saints. They are real and they really help. There are also some incredible self-help books out there about forming habits and becoming the best person you can be. Find times in your life (like commuting to work or exercising) where you can play these and learn how to be an excellent person. That is what you, your wife, and God need right now.

Stealing thunder from @mordorbund, but I think this topic deserves its own thread. Our beloved Prophet, President Russell M. Nelson said So how do you plan to "Select your own questions? Design your own plan. Immerse yourself in the glorious light of the Restoration"? As of now, I am planning on coming over all the doctrines restored in these latter days and pondering on what life would be like without each individual doctrine.

I almost made a thread based on this question yesterday. This seems like a far more exciting topic! Me? Not sure yet... so far I think I will just study doctrines unique to our religion and how they effect my life.

* had a stupid joke here... realized how lame it was so I deleted it

So this was released today: https://www.thechurchnews.com/members/2019-10-10/safety-guidelines-lds-meetinghouses-shootings-emergencies-163930

Coming from someone who loves video games and is constantly checking this website, you are not really spending time with someone just cause you are sitting next to them. She wants your attention, not your physical presence.

I can teach my son to how walk, talk, run, play sports, deal with arguments, play nice, stand up for himself, read, write, do math, etc. but until he goes out into the world and actually does those things, he will never become proficient or learn how to apply what he knows how to do. One major thing that was “missing” was our bodies. We never had to experience and deal with physical pain, make the decision to raise a family, share the gospel, or refuse harmful physical substances or pleasures. Someone that can resist all manner of temptation of the physical and spiritual form is far closer to being Christlike than one who has never experienced evil.

Here is some insight and advice. you are married now so your family is most important. Because you work so much, you need to be spending all your time with them to help build the family you and God need. Life is only going to get more crazy. From what I remember from past posts by you, you were somewhat forced into the marriage due to getting her pregnant. Am I right? Sin has consequences and in your situation, big consequences. When I had sex for the first time, it was with someone I loved and with and I married, we decided that we were ready to have kids so we did and dedicate the needed time for them. I say this not to make you feel bad or shame you, but to you explain to you that because of sins, you are now in a situation all parties find undesirable. But it is time to grow up, switch from diapers to pull-ups, and be there for your family. Your child May or may not be able to notice your absence yet, but it will be disastrous when your child knows that they can’t go to daddy for help cause he is always tired and wishing he were elsewhere. I’m sure your situation is hard and that you are exhausted, but it doesn’t matter how tired and stressed you are. If you are not present for your family, they will be raised and taught by someone other than you. Her actions and the way she treats you is not the problem, it’s only the symptom of the problem, which is unmet needs she has. Now some advice about your current situation. You need to tell her how tired and stressed you are. If the advice doesn’t work, move to the next step 1) I would say something like “honey, I am tired and exhausted and I crave social interaction. But I know I need to be here for you. Can you help me meet both of our needs?” 2) read “his needs her needs” (https://www.audible.com/pd/His-Needs-Her-Needs-Audiobook/B00ECER260) (I would do this even if step one works) 3) counseling / therapy

He was being sarcastic and patronizing.

That is what I said. But the other side was looking at Doctrine and Covenants 29:41 where it says: ”41 Wherefore, I, the Lord God, caused that he should be cast out from the Garden of Eden, from my presence, because of his transgression, wherein he became spiritually dead, which is the first death, even that same death which is the last death, which is spiritual, which shall be pronounced upon the wicked when I shall say: Depart, ye cursed.” and a quote or two speaking specifically about the fall of Adam. I didn’t realize this until after, but knowing the guy who was pushing this so hard, it would have been pointless it explain his misunderstanding.

I once watched an argument about what the 1st and 2nd death were. One side argues that the first death was physical and the 2nd spiritual. The other side argued the opposite. After the class was over I went home and studied the topic a bit and came to find that the answer depended entirely on whether you were talking about the fall of Adam or death and judgement x) that little fact would have ended the argument immediately (well... probably not).

What keeps coming to my mind is that there are definitely some sundays where I do NOT “strive” for to keep it holy

I would say “Read this: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/17oaks?lang=eng”

@Junior DO THAT^^^^^

We always paid after each meeting. Perhaps if you have insurance it covers counseling? I don’t know what kind of advice you are looking for Junior.