[LDS culture problem]

16 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

I'm all for not judging individuals.  

But let's not pretend God is copacetic about people who deliberately expose themselves to graphic and gratuitous violence/sex/other immortality; and let's not pretend He doesn't notice when people are using sex appeal to draw attention to themselves.  Let's not pretend temple attendance is irrelevant.  And let's not pretend that a generalized effort to take care of our bodies, above and beyond avoiding certain verboten substances, isn't part of the intent of the Word of Wisdom.

Well, we were counseled in some very recent GC talks(Hales comes to mind most recently and Holland a few years ago) to be more active in our discipleship. I think sure, you could make allowances for doing the bare minimum(whatever will get me a temple recommend) but I don't think its wrong to shoot for better or to be encouraged for better by others. And there is a difference between encouragement and judgement. I think if you like your little "sins" or things that draw you away from the Spirit, anybody saying anything about them, even in a loving manner could come across as judgemental.

I also think that is pretty cunning to make the distinction "Oh, that thing that Prophet said? Not only was that YEARS ago but he was directing it only to a particular audience; it doesn't apply to anyone else." Like, what? Only men have to follow the rule but women can watch whatever they want and they're safe, they still have the Spirit with them? Or, what, when the young men hit a certain age, suddenly then it becomes ok to watch whatever the heck they want? I like the gymnastics show.

I don't know, I have a weakness for energy drinks. I know they are bad for me and I try to abstain as much as I can. But I give in from time to time. If someone was with me while I got one and said something, I'd be humble enough to admit 1. they were right and 2. where it was coming from. We gain strength from each other. I counsel people against R-rated movies because it was a weakness of mine before my return to the church and it was a big contributing factor to me losing the Spirit and just ONE of the many things that helped me along the path to falling away for a time. So I'd counsel someone else not to watch them 1. to keep them safe and 2. to keep me from giving in as well, because no doubt they'd want someone to go with them and want to talk to me about it. And then I'd really want to see it. I don't know, even with my selfish motives of "hey, this might make me want to do the bad thing" I still think we can derive strength from each other. And I'm not saying I'd preach fire and brimstone but I'd give my counsel on how that sort of thing has made me feel and they coul do what they want in the end. And that's generally how I've been approached about things that I could improve on.

[Noticing Acts of Service Tag]

Oh, wow, thanks for the tag, @my two cents! I didn't notice this thread before!

Acts of service that I've noticed? A lot for me lately. Now that I'm in Rexburg, I'm trying to get my life together and I'm basically starting at the level of a 16 year old as far as capabilities. I have the drive and the desire to go out and do things, to get started and get growing but I'm still so dependent on everyone else. I consider it an act of service that everyone is so patient with me. My aunt and uncle have been crucial at this time, even as they try to get settled in this new city themselves, trying to keep up with their girls needing to go to activities and such, and trying to get familiar with people in their ward and their new calling. And yet, my aunt Wendy has driven me everywhere I needed to go to get job applications here in town and once I got my permit, she's been with me to help me practice and learn driving, even though I know it is stressful and hard for her to do so(I'm not terrible but not very good at it yet).

My cousins who live here have shown me acts of service by taking me to the singles ward and FHE and different activities on campus to help me get involved and to meet new people. My aunt and uncle have also commissioned me to paint a mural for their daughter's room to help me keep busy while I wait to get my track assignment and get a paying job.

I tag @Vort and @MormonGator!

[What do you do when your garment tears right through a symbol?]

6 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

I won't put any big "it's a sign!" thought into this.  Clothes tear.  It happens.

My birthday is the day of the eclipse in August this year. What do you think that means?

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

Sunday weigh-in: I lost another 4 lbs! So from 275, I'm down to 267 now! For my free day, I chose to eat at Hickory for dinner with the family and I had the sourdough chicken sandwich - crispy. I was also peer pressured by an uncle to take a bite of cheesecake. There was a Karie Anne visit earlier in the week and we did stop by Maverik for a large soda drink...with a couple squirts of extra flavor syrup. So, there were a couple choices there that weren't so good but over all, it was great! I'm feeling very good lately, very energetic and the walking is starting to get easier. Not this week but next week, the singles ward I'm going to with my cousin, is going to be going doing trek, so, I hope to get involved in that as well! All of this activity will pay off and I'll be able to walk decently!

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

5 hours ago, MormonGator said:

For me the hardest part about weight loss (and keeping it off) isn't really the exercising. Don't get me wrong, that's not easy. I'm a naturally lazy person who prefers to play Xbox rather than you know, do stuff. But I can motivate myself to walk 3-4 miles a day. More from fall-spring when it's not 300 degrees outside. To me the hardest part is cutting down on what I eat and portions. 

Yeah, that has been tough for me too. Like, yesterday morning, I had a fried egg, two pieces of turkey bacon, and half a chopped tomato. I ate at 8:45-9-ish and around 10, I was hungry again. However, with this Beyond Diet, I have changed focus from "lasting" until meal time because we've had visitors coming and going to our new house and they often bring with them fatty and sugary things. So, "lasting" becomes an argument with myself every time I'm in the kitchen and see the muffins or cookies on the counter. So, I've actually been eating the prescribed morning and afternoon snacks, which usually are a fruit or veggie with nut butter or hummus. Smaller portions isn't a big problem, not when I serve a meal because I eat it and I feel full. But then it comes later where I itch to eat. I have a big sweet tooth, love gummy candy especially, but I won't stick my nose up at anything dessert or candy. So, that's where I start to slip and fail and it is partly due to smaller meal portions.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

Thank you so much for that suggestion, @SpiritDragon! I did not even realize this could end up being so harmful! It's hard for me, being so out of shape because I wasn't really sure what was "normal burn you feel when you challenge your body a little" and "ouch, ok, you need to stop before something serious happens." I was sort of waiting for the leg thing to handle itself because in times past, I've walked and eventually it gets easier. This was not happening. So, I took your advice and the advice of that article, doing some of those shin/foot exercises last night and this morning. Then we walked to the temple first on our morning walk and did half the hill in the neighborhood part last. Much better results! No pain at all and since we didn't walk the end of the hill, the one part where it steepens, I came home feeling good! No pain! I think tackling that whole hill and pushing myself up it was just draining me for the rest of the walk. Still, I'm very grateful that you guys gave me these suggestions so that I can pay better attention; I don't know, I've never been an active person but also I've never researched it or gone to classes or anything. So, I'm glad I'm able to be more aware of my body and signs of pain and stuff and not just blow it off as "oh, that might get better soon, I hope."

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

Thank you, @SpiritDragon for the suggestions and the linked video. It's important to remember these things and I particularly liked how in the video he emphasized celebrating with the tiny habits and small successes; intuitively that makes sense to me, that when we feel super pumped and good after doing something, we're more likely to repeat that behavior.

I do try to focus more on feeling good and not so much on an end result per se. The weight loss is a big concern but also I would like to be a more active person and healthier. I want to be able to walk or run and not feel defeated; even still right now, going up a flight of stairs makes me feel like I need to sit down once I get to the top. So, I guess this is an end result to reach but it can have positive "successes" along the way as I get less winded or feel less achey or I am able to walk faster.

Right now, I'm struggling with this walk, not the doing it part, because I think it's developed in my mind as "something I do" that I don't really argue with. I get up at 6:50, get ready and go; it's routine. No, it's a part in my walk when we're going up the hill just before hitting the 1 mile mark around the neighborhood. My shins and calves hurt so bad and the hill isn't even that steep, more a long stretch of a progressive incline. But by the end of it, I feel a lot of discomfort and pain. Nothing too too bothersome because once I get home and sit for 5 minutes, it's gone. And walking anywhere else during the day where it is flat, it is gone, I feel no pain, even if walking for a long time. No, it is just that little hill, which then results in me desiring to give up at that point, so, I really have to push myself to walk the route to and around the temple for another 2 miles. By the end of that, my legs ache so much, but still, the aches go away and I experience no stiffness once I am home and at rest. I'm thinking of changing the route to go walking around the temple first and then do that hill in the neighborhood last. I'll try that tomorrow to see if it's better but as of right now, I'm a little worried about "working up" because I've been doing this once a day for 2 weeks now. I would like to start seeing results in getting used to it. I may even walk in the evenings also; not sure yet. But if I still feel the same exhaustion in the mornings, then I may just add that extra route at night as well. I may not always do a morning AND evening walk, but I will always do a morning walk; I would just like to have a good route that I can do without feeling like I'm dying by the end. And it's just my legs. Breathing is fine, back is fine; my shins are the problem.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

8 hours ago, Bad Karma said:

Mustard Seed,

What's been working for me, I (not totally) stopped eating carbs. well, mostly, you still need carbs to survive. I stopped drinking milk and eating bread. I avoid sugary anything. I count my carbs, eat more meat, fish, bird (Often game hens) and green veggies. It takes a little getting used to. I fill up on salads as snacks along with sugar free jello (Still has Sugar alcohols or substitutes - caution). Then, I walk a lot, I love to walk everywhere, just go walk and see something, anything. I walk around the lake quite a bit, it's nice and cool and there are things to see to keep my mind occupied.  The wife's tolerant of a chubby me, so, I just figure I am looking more attractive for the ducks, I think they're cheering me on, maybe...

Thank you for the suggestions and good luck to you too in achieving your goals! Yeah, the Beyond Diet doesn't have any bread or pasta or rice that I can see. I actually feel better eating this way than I have in a long while. I keep my limit of sugary or fatty things to condiments, like mayo or ranch dressing and even then, I use a tsp just to add flavor. Also based on a suggestion from someone else, I've been trying to be more aware of salt and when we add it to things or how much, trying to keep it down. As snacks I eat nuts and fruit, or veggies and hummus. Even still, I try to "forget" about snacking and just last until meal time. I'm a writer; I can do that "lost track of time" thing, lol.

Walking is my fav too. So far at the 1 mile mark, which I can do in 15 min, I get beat and just basically survive the last 2 miles and it takes me an additional 35-40 min. I try not to stop and just to keep going, even if I'm moving snail's pace, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Not so much pretty scenery around here anymore, not like the countryside I came from. Mostly it's pretty neighborhood houses and the beautiful temple grounds. ^^

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

1 minute ago, pam said:

I recommend purchasing a fitbit.  I love watching how many steps I've taken a day.  And I love that every so often it will tell me, "Okay get out and walk 243 steps."  Just to keep me moving during the day if I've been sedentary too long.  It also lets you know how many calories you have burned in a day.  I love it.  Syncs with my phone and computer.  

My goal of course is always 10K steps a day.  Most days I don't quite make it but close.  Last Saturday I got in 13K steps.  Yayyyy.  

While I may not do a full on workout, walking is also good.

I'm considering it! My aunt has one and I really like the idea of it and the way you can connect it to everything. Maybe once I get some work and money, I'll get one.

I love walking. It's just easy enough and hard enough. I can't run very good and walking is something I can get out and do with little "extra"(like equipment, clothing, prep, etc.). I can just do a couple stretches and then go.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

18 hours ago, my two cents said:

It sounds like you're off to a great start!  A couple ideas to consider:

- One thing that helped me was looking at pounds as well as % and 'new dividend (if that's the right word).  For instance, if I was hoping to see a 4 pound change and didn't reach it, maybe I was now in the 150's or lost another 2% or whatever.  That way I wouldn't be as disappointed.  {hope that made sense}

- One other thing that may help - pick a clothing item to try on *every once in a while*.  This can also be motivating.

- Don't be surprised if 2 weeks out of the month, the numbers don't reflect your effort (women's cycle) so just keep at it.

- Words are powerful and your spirit/body will follow what you tell it so don't be saying 'you're fat' because that's not what you want to be.

- Unless you want to find the weight again, release it instead of lose it.

- You need to address the emotions that got you to this place.  We are physical, emotional, mental and spiritual beings and they're all connected.  If you only address one side of things, your success will be limited.

I'll chime back in if I think of anything else.  You can do this!  Take one day and...step...at a time.

Thank you so much for bringing this up, @my two cents! I used to put more stock in "rooting out the deeper meaning" behind how I feel about things and even now, I acknowledge when my judgements are based on actual actions by other people or just me reacting to my own projections. Things have changed drastically for me emotionally, not just from my return to church 8 months ago but moving across the country. I know that my eating has to do with an insecurity about myself, a lack of self-worth, and a way to "cushion/armor" myself against the world with a layer of fat. I try to focus my weight loss on less a denigration of the fatness but more trying to own being a child of God; I am fulfilling my potential, digging out the girl underneath this layer, who doesn't need wide hips and to take up more space in order to feel confident or noticed. I'm also focusing it a bit upon self-control and trying to challenge those times when I tell myself "Oh, I really need to eat this!" by asking "why?" My mother would often substitute treats and snacks as ways of showing approval, so, I try to challenge that way of comforting myself by replacing it with the satisfaction I feel when accomplishing a long walk or making a dinner with just a few ingredients and yet it tastes so good and is good for me as well.

That's important that you bring that up because it is a big part of why some folks get overweight, because we aren't using food for its nourishment but rather its "emotional" payoff.

Good news! Update! After the first week here, I have lost 4 lbs.! Now, that's after the 4th, which, I kind of went off the rails; still small portions but there was nothing on that day that was good for me at all, lol. So, I'm very proud of myself for losing that much. This morning, my aunt and I extended our walk from a mile to about 3(we walked our normal route and then we walked around the Rexburg temple and I am pretty sure it is a mile from our house, so, that'd be three). It's a pretty big challenge, my feet feeling like unfeeling clubs on the ends of my legs by the time we get home so I'm hoping to keep this up for the rest of the month. I forgot to this morning but I'd like to start timing myself and see if each time I get faster. Once it starts taking me like 15 minutes(what the one mile took me yesterday) then I'll probably start taking those exercise classes at the gym in addition to the morning walk.

Also the diet we're doing is the Beyond Diet by Isabel De Los Rios. We finished the 7-Day meal rescue and are now on the 14 day meal plan, which in those 14 days includes 2 "free days(one a week)" where you can eat whatever you want for just one of the meals, breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It helps you stay committed to the plan long term and the meals are great, involving a great mix of veggies and proteins. Like last night, we had chicken fajitas which was just chicken, peppers, and onion, cooked and seasoned. My cousins brought over homemade tortillas so we were able to add a little bit to it. I had 2 and ate fruits and veggies to pad it. And this morning was eggs with tomatoes and spinach, seasoned with salt and pepper. My goal for this next week is to lose another 4 lbs at the least or lose 6 lbs at the most.

One thing I have always struggled with that I need to be better at is drinking more water. I have a 16 oz. bottle that I drink about 2 helpings of each day, sometimes 3. So, that's on my goal list as well, to drink more bottles.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

Omg! I get home and so many people in my thread! Thank you so much everyone for your advice and suggestions, they're really helpful as I start this journey in trying to get healthy. And I do want to emphasize that; this isn't a diet as in, "a goal achieved". I want to be able to enjoy sweets and pasta and things without feeling chained to it; my eating habits before made it so that I desired a whole pot of fettucine alfredo and would only stop once I started feeling sick; or a whole tub of swedish fish because it's in the cupboard and I can't just let it be in there. And then it's in my butt or in my thighs or makes it so that I dont have energy to do anything; it's ridiculous! Enough! I just want to be at a reasonable body size and be able to eat a small plate of pasta every once in a while without literally losing my identity like some weird pasta fiend. And I know this ideal will take a lot of work. To clarify, my history with weight loss:

I got fed up before and tried the whole foods fad diet to lose weight. It consisted of soups and smoothies because none of the veggies were cooked. No dairy, no meat, some whole grains, and do it yourself softening of hard legumes for protein.

I lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time because most of my diet was liquid. I did no exercise so I plateaud at 184 lbs. Kept eating the same way and sitting on my butt, could not lose a pound more for a whole month before giving up and eating whatever I wanted.

Fast forward to now, I'm on the 7-Day Meal Rescue plan by some woman, not sure who, with a full packet for meals that you can do for a whole year. Veggies, fruits, some meat, some fish, and morning smoothies, with smaller portions, less salt, and limited fats.

I know that exercise needs to come with it, especially if I want to make this a regular thing and a total lifestyle change. I still haven't gotten my track yet but I've already walked all over campus; it will be a nightmare if I don't start practicing now and work up to a consistent method of movement. So, yes, I know a mile a day won't cut it. Thats all I can do right now; I started at "couch potato/'what were these boots made for? Huh?'" level so walking a mile is still a bit of a challenge for me. Pretty soon though, in a day or two, we'll be able to extend the route to about 2 miles. I'm hoping eventually to go to a local gym and participate in cycling and other exercise classes. I'm just at the point still, where if I try now, I'll not be able to keep up and I'll likely feel discouraged by that. My goal is to continue to walk daily, on top of whatever walking I do to go to classes, and a couple times a week, going to a class at the gym.

Again, thank you so much everyone for your suggestions and any other helpful advice you can give me, some pointers and such, I would very much appreciate it.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

2 minutes ago, Vort said:

I've been trying to lose weight and exercise this year, with some success. My observation is as follows:

• If you want to get stronger, then exercise.
• If you want to lose weight, then eat less.

Seems obvious, but so many people think that by walking an extra half hour or doing some pushups, they can go ahead and have that hamburger and milkshake. That is generally not how it works, though. You actually have to do a lot of work to "burn off" calories. A couple of extra miles walked or a half hour workout just won't do much for the weight concerns.

Good points to remember. Thank you, @Vort and good on you for your success as well.

[Why Feminism is Bad]

6 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

What you say here in regards to not knowing if women could "hold" the priesthood someday, potentially during the millennium or the like, is technically true. We don't know.* However, untranslated plates aren't exactly the crux of the matter. We have living prophets. God reveals to them what He will in regards to His kingdom. We don't need to find lost scripture to find out God's will. That could, theoretically, be a means. But untranslated/lost/missing scripture is no blocker for God revealing His will, ways, and intentions to His people.

*We don't know...but there are a whole host of things we do know that imply very strongly otherwise, imo. Some of these we could discuss, some of them are a bit more sensitive, being temple related ideas and the like. Regardless, it doesn't matter if women will or will not technically "hold" the priesthood someday. In the end women and men will inherit all that the Father (and Mother) have, and whatever roles there may be in eternity for the exalted will bring a fullness of joy.

I understand that and I didn't mean to imply that. I sometimes go back to original thoughts or things that I've discovered by bringing up the thing that I discovered it with. In this case, a BoM study guide which talked about the plates and the banded parts of them and why we haven't had that history/part of them revealed to us; it came down to, "We have not yet fully utilized or read and studied the parts we have been given as much as we should." So, that was the part that I was focusing on.

Also, I don't really care either way whether women do eventually get the priesthood or not. I was still mostly focusing on the "appreciate and practice what we have already" aspect of it. In the end, there's a lot we don't know and won't officially and definitively know until Christ comes again, or even until we get to the Spirit World, maybe.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

3 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Good luck! You will be buying new garments soon! My sister is very overweight and is losing with a diet for diabetics which allows fats and restricts carbs. She is nurse and worked in cardiac care where all the cardiologists suddenly became very thin! Must have been a research result! The drs went on Atkins. I would like to lose a few so I am writing down what I eat. Best of luck!

Thank you, Sunday! Good luck to you too! I want to make this a complete lifestyle change, which is why I didn't want to do something like Atkins or the Whole Foods diet again(it's basically vegan with the premise of "cooking vegetables and fruits 'kills' them, so, they need to be raw in order for you to get their nutrients; here's some cold veggie soups and fruit smoothies!"). I hear Atkins is great as well for losing the weight but I can't give up the meat to do the whole foods thing and I love bread and pasta which isn't atkins just meat and low carbs? And I ultimately cannot give up the sweets, not entirely. My desire is to treat food in a more healthy manner and to have balance so that I can sustain this for the rest of my life. Writing it down is a good idea.

[Walking off 100 lbs.]

So, not sure if anyone else knew, but I am fat. And now, I'm tired of being fat. It is uncomfortable, I crash from my eating habits often, and nothing fits to make me feel good; I'm potato shaped in everything. About 4 years ago, I tried out that Whole Foods diet and lost several pounds, got down to 184; had a tiny bit of belly still but I could wear skinny jeans and my face looked awesome! ^.^ Well, I've been not caring about it since then and I have a real problem with food, particularly sweets. I stress eat and chase flavors even after I am full.

Now I'm moved to Rexburg, I not only want to change my life as far as schooling and career but also physically as well. As I said, I'm tired of it. So far, I haven't suffered any extreme health problems - digestive is fine, knees and joints are fine, back is fine, pancreas is fine, blood pressure is fine, etc. But I am going to be 30 in August and I know it's time to stop messin' around; the machinery will start falling apart soon if I don't make changes and the wear and tear I've already done might make those sorts of issues inevitable anyway.

So, I've only been here a week and my aunt and I are on that 7-day rescue meal plan and she has many more recipes for us to try once we're finished with that. Plus we've been walking in the mornings every day for a mile each day. Drinking water, no more snacking, etc. I've even been walking way more than just a mile a day; one day I walked to campus from where I live and got lost before walking all the way home again; another day I went canvasing for job applications on main street and 2nd East, walking basically nonstop for 2 hours. Plus, once I start school, I'll be walking a whole lot more as well.

I weigh myself once a week on Sunday, so, I don't know my progress yet. But I'm 5'9" and weighed 275 lbs. last Sunday. My goal is 180 lbs. because I got to 184 before but I could have been just a little tighter around the middle and it would have been golden.

Anyway, this is just a place to record my progress and hopefully get some encouragement. I'll also post my favorite recipes that we do with this meal plan. This is where I'm at right now.

[Are Garments Required?]

You do have to wear them if you want to go back to the temple and be worthy to go, after you've gotten your endowments done. No, random members aren't going to really care about the day-to-day or question you about it except the leaders during the temple recommend interview. Heavenly Father will care because you've made the promise to Him to wear them.

[Starbucks & beer]

I'd probably never go to somewhere like Starbucks, known for their coffee. Dunkin Donuts is different because of the name "Donuts" they are known for the donuts that they sell. I like to avoid the appearance of evil, not necessarily for what my other LDS friends might think to judge me, but what non-LDS or newer members might think about the example I am setting. A friend of mine who is a very recent member had a big misunderstanding recently when she saw returned missionaries on facebook posing in shorts and skirts that went above the knee, or other members that she knows who have been to the temple wearing tank tops or other things that showed the shoulders liberally. She's never been to the temple but her daughter has and she impressed upon my friend the sacredness of garments, not even willing to extrapolate too much on them to her own mother until she had been herself. So my friend didn't feel like going to the temple was worth her time if it was something that only some people are held to a certain standard about. Of course we shouldn't make judgements but we have to understand that it is a natural thing to do and we have to be aware of others who are watching us, looking for answers. I watched my brother, who was the only strong member in our immediate family, and my grandparents and aunt and uncle for the longest time, looking at how happy they were and what they were doing differently. Others may be watching to gauge whether the plunge to investigating is even worth it if those with the "happy families" in the church truly are different or if they're just faking and just as corrupt as everyone else. We can explain the nuances of "Everybody needs Christ's Atonement" once they're here but those examples we set will stay with people, especially when we no longer represent just ourselves but take on the name of Christ and represent Him.

I would never serve anything in my home that I would not serve Christ if He came to visit. Just assuming the WoW is stuff He has advised me not to do to help me become closer to Him, I assume that He would not ask for any of that stuff. I do not view myself separate from non-members just because I have made covenants and they have not. The goal of this life is for everyone to make those covenants to feel the Spirit touch their lives and return to our Heavenly Father. I would not take the mindset, "Oh, it's ok if you sin or do something that draws you further from God but not for me, because I'm special and have made special promises." I would want to encourage the Spirit to be able to touch them if they ever came to my home or spent time with me and I can't do that if they are partaking in things that will hinder that Spirit being able to enter. I am a member missionary all the time and always, especially in my own home serving guests. If they cannot drink anything other than wine or beer or coffee to feel comfortable, then they probably need the gospel most of all in their lives because that's quite a crutch to just normal healthy human mind, let alone their spirit.

Also, no matter what other people's status of covenant is, it is seen as an endorsement by me to buy someone else or provide someone else with things that go against my standards. I'm basically saying, "Yeah, that's ok" which does break my covenant, in my opinion.

[Why Feminism is Bad]

18 minutes ago, Snigmorder said:

I think men and women in the church would do well to toss out any and all principles, ideas, attitudes, concepts, and moralities associated with any age of feminism. And instead build for themselves a new ethic based on submission to truth, untainted by world influence.  One of the first things you can do to accomplish this is not complain that you can't hold the priesthood. Such an attitude demonstrates an inherent lack of faith. It's not a "church thing" that you can just change to match your Leftism. It is the law of the Eternal God.

 In fact, I would argue that it is the pinnacle of sexism to say that women are not equal to men unless they do what men do. By doing so you are twofold asserting that there is no femininity (which is anti-women per se) and you are literally asserting that the duties of women are inferior to the duties of men, which is offensively anti-women.

Beautifully well put. I agree with all of this.

To be fair, I've heard comparisons of motherhood being the female gift of power from God while the priesthood was the male. But then someone brought up something that I found interesting as well; there's a whole chunk of the plates that wasn't translated. There's a lot of revelation we haven't received yet because we're not ready and have not yet mastered or even accepted what we've already been given. So, we actually don't know if women could hold the priesthood someday(during the Millennium, maybe? After?) but we won't ever know or be up to the task if we don't accept and put into practice the things we've already had revealed to us.

[4 Ideas That Will Help You Journal More Consistently]

I write a gratitude journal, which consists of listing all the blessings of the day. It helps me keep track of the day to day and also sort of trains myself to be more positive. I have a habit of complaining especially in hand of the Lord situations that I benefit from later. Ex: "Aw! *pout* I do not like this awful thing that happened to me!" *1-6 months later* "Omg! I'm right where I wanna be! And it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't  missed that opportunity/was forced to wait by circumstances/took a different route than what I originally wanted. Thank you, Heavenly Father! -^.^- " That happens to me ALL THE TIME. Like, if I just trusted Him from the start, been positive that He had a handle on things, then I'd save myself the pout and bellyaching. I also have a blog. It was originally for art. Then it became about that and spiritual experiences. Now I just write in it about meaningful things that happen, at least once a week.

I cannot write with a pen/pencil for long stretches of time. I think way faster than the pen can move and it strains me to try to keep up. So, I type instead and leave the handwriting for the gratitude journal. One thing I was thinking of doing was using a printing service like CreateSpace or Lulu to print my blog entries once it has gotten to a decent size. They're self-publishing companies but you don't have to hit publish. you can just design and format the "book" how you want, then have them print it for you in a soft-cover book format. It appeals to my ego a little to self-design a book that would simply be a journal that I might pass on to someone someday.

[Non-member Mother and Motivation to Continue On]

18 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Honestly, it sounds like you both need a breather.  Give her a month or sometime, then maybe write her a snail mail letter of surface polite things.  

I can accept that as an answer. I just worry. Because while I was married to my husband, she and I were estranged for the longest time. I told my husband not to call her when I went to the hospital for my attempted suicide but he did anyway. That was what broke the silence between us and I clung to her heavily after my divorce. I just don't want the silence to stretch that long between us. In the end, though, I know you're probably right, some cool off time will probably be beneficial.

[Non-member Mother and Motivation to Continue On]

Guess where I am! Finally, Friday night we completed our drive across the country and now I'm in Rexburg, Idaho. If anybody else lives here, please hit me up via PM and we can get together! I'd love to meet my fellow Hubbers.

That being said, things did not end on a high note between mother and I. The 17th I was at the branch going away party for myself and my aunt and uncle's family and I get a text from my mother to call her. So, I do and she is clearly drunk, not only evidenced by the fact that she repeated 4 times the same thing but also because my younger brother graduated earlier that day and she had to go to his graduation alone, so, I know that drinking is how she copes. I hung up on her after the fourth reiteration of her message, something simple and stupid, and she all of a sudden sends me a message of emotional diarrhea. Now, I have been careful, to keep the peace until I was able to go, to not even hint or confront her about anything. I act friendly and nice and I don't ask her about her crap and I don't say anything about it when I hear she's doing something foolish or toxic. I knew that if I got into a discussion with her, she would manipulate and overpower me until I'd be forced to apologize for her being the unstable one. I just wanted to get away and worry about everything else once I've got my stuff figured out.

So I was confused by her message asserting that I judge her, that we're not friends because I hate her and expect her to be Jesus, and bringing up how much she has suffered and what a great mother she was for my siblings when they were little(like, 10-12 years ago). I told her yeah, we're not friends because she lies to me about everything(I'm mentally including omissions of truth, you know, when she was dating her boyfriend for 3 years and I only find out months after they broke up that he did a little meth on the side). I told her I demanded honesty from her, called her a drunky(I know, bad move), and I told her to stop living in the past(all the stuff that she did that was great and all the stuff she had to suffer through; what about now???). She denied drinking and then that was that. She was being churlish to me and snooty when I got home, so, I packed my stuff and moved out while she was at work.

There was a little discussion just before the move where she demanded an itinerary of all her "lies" while telling me my covert moving out was so wrong and not what you do to a person, and she tried to lure me in with gifts that she had gotten for me as a going away present. I told her I wasn't going to play and to keep the gifts because I had enough as it was packed up.

I'm not feeling unstable in my convictions. I actually feel a little liberated being able to confront her and finally be open and honest about how I feel. I do not know how to proceed from this point. Here I am in Idaho and I want to send letters to my people back home. I thought about including her in my letter writing but I don't know how to approach that at all. She has some sort of sickness, something happened to her, or she's addicted to something; something is not normal, because I get all sorts of "addiction" red flags from her. I am worried that once my brother goes on his mission, the house will be devoid of strong spiritual influence. I originally wanted to send her letters telling her about things happening and always including a spiritual thought or my testimony or something, keeping things clean of the "drama" while still trying to get through to her in some way, or allowing the spirit to do so. But I don't want to get caught in this trap where I am lying again just to placate her. She's wrong. She needs help. Like, it'd be different if she were a good person and just sinning. Fine, whatever. But she's leaving every weekend to visit rich friends across the country, she drinks and drives, she doesn't have any clear sense of perspective or priority, and she has sex with whomever she pleases, all the time. She's a woman in pain. I'm tired of walking on eggshells and giving in to her contradictions. Like, "We can't ask her about anything because we're being snoopy and judgement and yet when we don't ask, 'nobody cares about her.'" I know how to define my care and love for her and it is calling her on her delusions and telling her to stop it when I see her walking towards a cliff. Even if she defies me or walks off to spite me, I can rest assured I stayed true to myself and my love for her, rather than not doing anything or playing along as she walks off the cliff on her own.

I'm not going to save her, I know. She needs to be honest with herself and want to change. I just don't know how to keep my relationship with her without compromising on my desire to love her the way she needs to be loved: toughly. The third option is...no letters for her, but then that might feed into her martyr complex even more. Any suggestions are welcome.

[Force-Sensitive RM Sheds Tears To Latest Star Wars Movie]

8 hours ago, anatess2 said:

Mine was Jane Eyre with Fassbender.  That scene where Rochester begged Jane to stay with him even if he is already married.  I know the story very well, of course, watched previous renditions of the story including the BBC series, I'm even very familiar with the dialogue (they used a lot of the original text) but still... Fassbender just had that amazing acting ability that can suck me into the moment. 

Noooooooooo! Lol! I dont like it when we disagree anatess! XD 

I just watched that too! Like last week. Im a huge Fassbender fan but there was no chemistry between the two mains. That version of Jane Eyre is a movie I love to hate, lol. Jane irritated me so much; not sure if it was the actress or character but Fassbender came on real strong/aggressive(in my opinion) and she seemed apathetic and cold in response, then suddenly jealous when he even just talked to someone else. I like period dramas and Jane Austen but that version of Jane Eyre drove me crazy. If I cried from it, it was in relief that it was over at the end. 

Last movie I cried at was the Michael J. Fox Homeward Bound. The part where Sassy fell in the river had me sobbing as the kitty cried out. It didn't help that I was getting ready to put my own kitty in a temp foster home in preparation for my move.

[Church Leaders on Mental Health]

I'm sorry but that was a really beautiful post @yjacket. I do believe there are psychological disorders, extreme disorders that it would be cruel to expect someone to rely entirely on the Lord for and not seek help and treatment. A lot of those extreme cases show up physically in the brain and can be tested for, like schozophrenia. I do think there is a lack of faith present when you have the mindset, "the Lord cannot help me with this." He created the world and gave Moses the power to part the red sea. But no, your depression or anxiety disorder is too much for Him. 

I think there is value in prayerful study before a therapist even signs a prescription pad. We are told to take charge of our own study before seeking answers from Him, to come to Him with information we have gathered. I think assuming people are too stupid to take charge and responsibility for what goes into their bodies is ludicrous and yjackets counsel to research and find out about proposed drugs is a sound one. I think it is easier to give that power away, to appeal to those who are not actually interested in our well being but only in staying relevant and in control. I also think the emotional responses to yjacket rather than actually addressing what he is saying, is telling about how much some have invested in being told by someone "its not your fault, theres nothing you can do about it, let me take care of you." I

if you have studied the drugs your psychiatrist has suggested, found studies for them, researched the side effects for yourself, and gotten a physical to make sure everything else about you is ok, and you pray and the Holy Ghost prompts you to take that medication, then do it. You have been directed by who really matters. But I definitely think those steps should be taken. About everything, really. 

How many times does yjacket have to repeat that? Prayerful study. Prayerful study. Holy Ghost prompting. Holy Ghost prompting. If the drugs are what you need, why would the being who knows everything about you not tell you to do that? Why is telling people to research and pray about this harmful or patronizing? Hes not assuming those who have posted havent done those things. Hes saying thats what should be happening. 

[Daily Hand of the Lord Jar]

6 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Hi mustard seed!  You just gave me an idea on something I can give to my VT sisters this month!  Thank you thank you thank you.  I made them FHE jars last month  These Daily Hand jars would be a perfect companion to their FHE jars.

I'm so glad! It really is a fun exercise to do and makes counting blessings easy. I am so glad that you found this useful and will be able to pass this along. <3 <3 <3

[Daily Hand of the Lord Jar]

So, I thought I would update this a little bit because there is an upgrade that I thought of for this exercise. So, either you can do the jar with little ones who are small and do the next part when they are a bit older or you can start with it on preteens and, like my family, after a few months, move on to this next part, which is: journals. This was what I wanted all along, and it's kind of a step below writing in a journal with writing prompts, because this one only has one prompt: blessings. Hopefully, though, the next step from this would actually be full-fledged journal entries, being able to write about full days, rather than simply list making.

The bigger story to this is...I will be leaving them. My younger siblings won't have me there anymore to do nightly scripture study and daily hand of the Lord jar. I wanted to leave them with something that wouldn't need to be emptied every month. So, I went to the dollar store and got them each simple, faux leather journals and I wrote explanations in the front part and my testimony in personalized letters to each of them in the back cover. The front part says this:

Daily Hand of the Lord

Have you ever had a bad day? Sometimes, when bad things happen, we classify the whole day as "ruined", even over just one thing. We forget about all of the good things that have happened. Your Heavenly Father loves you and wants the best for you. The truth is, everything He does is to help us grow closer to Him, even when we feel hurt or can't understand why. I know that the more you make note of all the good things that have been given to you, the more you will be able to see the blessings of those "bad days" and hard times.

How to Use This Book

1. Read scriptures for the day

2. While the Spirit is with you, think about your day and write down 5 things that the Lord has done to bless you

3. To help you, think of starting phrases like "I am thankful for..." or "I saw the hand of the Lord today when..."

4. Go into however much depth you want, draw pictures, or just make lists. Write down events and people who have helped you or made you happy, or just small things that have made life easier (lights, food, plumbing, etc.)

This book is for you, like a letter to Heavenly Father and your future self. So that one day, when you need it, you will know how much He loves you and always has and always will.

 

I know, a little sappy but this is what I put in them for my siblings because I'm going away. I've upgraded the jar format from one thing a day to 5 things, to challenge them to look for more blessings rather than choosing between things to write down. In this way, it doesn't matter if every day all they list is "1. we have lights; 2. We have heat; 3. I had 3 meals and snacks today; 4. I have a mom; 5. I have a dad." because even that is them taking the time to acknowledge blessings that often get overlooked in our daily lives. It sets the bar at the minimum which is definitely something we can be more grateful for and acknowledge. I know I can do more to make note of those things, because often I let that one thing sour a day where I still ate good, had a nice bed to sleep in, and got to experience luxuries that others don't have access to. And that is what this exercise is all about in addition to encouraging journalling, is showing appreciation to Heavenly Father, building testimonies, and building a sense of charity when you stop to think of what others don't have that you enjoy every day.