seashmore

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  1. Like
    seashmore reacted to a mustard seed in Non-member Mother and Motivation to Continue On   
    Thank you @LiterateParakeet and @anatess2!  I think that hits it right on the head what I am struggling with. Not that the miracle of her changing is impossible for God, after all, He brought me back from self-destructive "fun" as well. But my impatience is prideful. I want it now and its not happening so I get mad at her. I understand thats not what He wants. 
    I cannot leave but I can step up. I had some epiphanies while lying in bed last night. One, I could lose her at any moment and it made me look at how I was spending these "last moments" with her. I think that is one possible way to get to love the sinner and not the sin, because thats a pretty big hurdle sometimes to leap over. Is this thing worth quibbling over when she could be gone in the next instant? Is me shaking my finger or giving her worried looks what I would want to remember about our time together? It just helped me align my priorities better and find my way to where what she is doing does not get in the way of loving her and showing her love genuinely and fully. 
    Another thing that occurred to me is that "I want whats best for you" IS judgemental. At least the way I have been combining it with "I know better than you." How prideful is that? It felt like a weight off my shoulders realizing that Ive been trying to take the glory and responsibility of saving her away from the Savior. Thats not my job. I'm a child in His ways just as much as she is. The Savior led by example and so should I. I'm not making a good case for the plan of happiness when I'm sad and worried all the time. I just need to trust in Him more than I have been. 
    Just sharing the realizations I've had. I already have a testimony of pure love working to open doorways and smooth the path. I just need to trust in that and put it into practice more readily. 
  2. Like
    seashmore reacted to a mustard seed in Non-member Mother and Motivation to Continue On   
    I thank you guys for your words and support. I know that the situation is a tough one to figure out since there is no one right answer and it is definitely up to me to do the fasting and praying to hear directly from the source what I should do and how to go about this. I guess it's a kind of "I don't want to! I want her to change! I want to make her do what I want her to do!" type thing, and I know those thoughts and that impulse go against what Christ taught and what I should be thinking.
  3. Like
    seashmore reacted to eddified in Non-member Mother and Motivation to Continue On   
    It sounds like you have some fasting and praying to do. One thought I had is that you should do what is best for you, which would mean moving out. On the other hand, it sounds like you are doing so much for your younger siblings. This is one of those situations where it's not exactly clear to an outsider like me what you should do.  Maybe you already know what to do, but you are just having a hard time doing the right thing. In which case I offer you encouragement. All hardships come to an end sooner or later.  Sometimes we just need to feel that we are doing the right thing,  and just need to keep doing it  even though it is hard.  Other times perhaps a change is needed. This is for you to decide through fasting and prayer.  It does sound like you are in a very tough position. The Savior knows you and your circumstances and He is mindful of it.  He loves you and your mom and your siblings with a pure love. Sometimes loving someone means doing things that your loved one will not like.  Such as refusing to support negative behaviors. Other times it just means keeping quiet. So again there is no hard and fast answer to this. I have confidence that you can make it through this, with the help of God.
  4. Like
    seashmore reacted to Jane_Doe in Stopped going to church   
    Hey everyone, let's try to refocus this on helping @Titan-ium17
  5. Like
    seashmore reacted to The Folk Prophet in Stopped going to church   
    Source?
    I keep hearing this, but I believe it is members making stuff up. I do not believe it.
  6. Like
    seashmore reacted to Godless in Stopped going to church   
    This alone is reason enough to keep you name on the church records. Live your life how you want, but if you honestly believe the above statement is true, then leave the door open for you to return. If later on down the road you rethink your stance on the truthfulness of the gospel, then that may be the right time to remove your name, but don't do it while you still believe the church to be true.
  7. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from Sunday21 in Stopped going to church   
    First of all, I feel awful about what happened to your stepdaughter. I feel worse about how the bishop handled that. He is accountable to God for that.
    "If it weren't for the Gospel, I'd have left the Church a dozen times over." I woke up an entire Sunday School with that comment once. What I mean by it is that the doctrine of Christ, the core of our teachings, the hub of the wheel, is what keeps me around. I fall through cracks all the time, have received empty promises as my only help, and have been indirectly told I'm not worth it. Chieko Okazaki said, "Did you know that if you were the only person in the world who needed his Atonement, he would still have died for you--just for you?" I cling to that.
    I've read through your posts, and noticed one thing missing. And, honestly, I probably noticed it because I need to be better about it myself. What of your scripture study? You mention filling all sorts of callings, and implied you followed the counsel to pray about matters, but have you tried the Bible? Start with Paul's story and his letters. Read about Christ's ministry. Take it slow and pay attention. 
    D&C 82:3, "...he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation." It sounds to me like you're asking if you can dim the light you've been given (by officially cutting ties with the church) in the hopes that you'll be held less accountable come Judgement Day. Personally, I don't think it works like that. So, you may as well leave your name on the records and just tell callers you'll come back if/when you're good and ready. If a home or visiting teacher, etc. gets too persistent, I know someone who got her address blacklisted by a proselytizing group because she invited them in, fed them cookies, and talked with them for six hours. 
     
  8. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from Sunday21 in Stopped going to church   
    First of all, I feel awful about what happened to your stepdaughter. I feel worse about how the bishop handled that. He is accountable to God for that.
    "If it weren't for the Gospel, I'd have left the Church a dozen times over." I woke up an entire Sunday School with that comment once. What I mean by it is that the doctrine of Christ, the core of our teachings, the hub of the wheel, is what keeps me around. I fall through cracks all the time, have received empty promises as my only help, and have been indirectly told I'm not worth it. Chieko Okazaki said, "Did you know that if you were the only person in the world who needed his Atonement, he would still have died for you--just for you?" I cling to that.
    I've read through your posts, and noticed one thing missing. And, honestly, I probably noticed it because I need to be better about it myself. What of your scripture study? You mention filling all sorts of callings, and implied you followed the counsel to pray about matters, but have you tried the Bible? Start with Paul's story and his letters. Read about Christ's ministry. Take it slow and pay attention. 
    D&C 82:3, "...he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation." It sounds to me like you're asking if you can dim the light you've been given (by officially cutting ties with the church) in the hopes that you'll be held less accountable come Judgement Day. Personally, I don't think it works like that. So, you may as well leave your name on the records and just tell callers you'll come back if/when you're good and ready. If a home or visiting teacher, etc. gets too persistent, I know someone who got her address blacklisted by a proselytizing group because she invited them in, fed them cookies, and talked with them for six hours. 
     
  9. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from zil in Multi faith questions   
    1. What does a typical worship service look like? (An LDS answer would describe Sunday meetings, emphasizing sacrament meeting as the most important.)
    2. How do people of your faith learn the doctrine? (LDS answer: scripture study, prayer, and general conference)
    3. What is one thing you wish others better understood about your faith/religion?
     
    I think this is a fabulous idea if you live in a religiously diverse community. "...If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." Just last week, I shared five reasons I like to learn about other religions, and at the top of the list was opening myself up to faith promoting experiences, as well as finding common ground. I don't think that learning about what others believe means you have to agree with it. Sometimes, learning that someone sees something differently only reinforces my own belief. Example: the Trinity.
  10. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from Sunday21 in So what is nice about your State/Province/County?   
    What's nice about Nebraska? The people, Winter Quarters temple, and open fields. Carhenge and the College World Series are fun, too. Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo gets voted Number 1 zoo on a regular basis, both on national and international lists.
    Fun fact: the third largest city in Nebraska is Memorial Stadium on Husker game day. The college football stadium seats 90,000 (and has something like 65 years of sellouts) and the only cities in the state with larger population are Omaha and Lincoln (which is where the stadium is). Mission presidents counsel missionaries not to knock doors during the games, as it will do more harm than good. 
  11. Like
    seashmore reacted to workingonit in Stopped going to church   
    I know the feelings you are feeling.  I've been there.  I remember the feeling of I'm going to hell anyway so why change.  81 days ago I decided to change, I took some big steps, lots of discomfort, and it is all worth it.  I had some of the same thoughts you are having and the fact that you are even considering all this probably means that you know where the truth lies.  Sometimes it take the right circumstances to all come together in order for it to be the right time for you.  I'm not a regular here...I came here only a couple weeks ago to bounce some ideas around with people who don't know me or my circumstances.  This is a very loving group, that I know.  I love you brother/sister, our Heavenly Father loves you, and If I were you...I'd try to feel that love and see where it takes you!
  12. Like
    seashmore reacted to Just_A_Guy in Stopped going to church   
    I think that they are told they shouldn't wear garments; and they will have a hard time buying more.  But no one's going to come and root through your underwear drawer.
  13. Like
    seashmore reacted to Jane_Doe in Stopped going to church   
    That you should come back to church and Christ of course :).  
    Uh no.  Totally and 100% formally ditching out on your covenant and trying to disown your relationship with your Heavenly Father is MUCH worse than simply being lame about not calling Him (aka not pray or otherwise communicating). 
    If you're talking about some eternal lake of fire and torture, that doesn't even exist in LDS theology.  So no, you're 100% not going there. 
    Dude (or Dudette): it's not possible for you to get in a pit deep enough that the very creator of the world can't rescue you out of.  It's just not possible: His power to save WAY trumps your power to screw up.  All you have to do is reach out and grab His hand- the very hand He's outstretched begging "Please, please, let me help you."
    Grabbing Christ's hand (whether done now or later) is always better than always slapping it away.
     
    @Titan-ium17, there's an AMAZING talk about people struggling to believe and struggling to have the Savior in their lives.  I don't know if you prefer video or text, so I'll give both: 
    Or text: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng.  
    Even if you just watch the first 60 seconds of this, please just give it the first 60 seconds.
  14. Like
    seashmore reacted to Sunday21 in Stopped going to church   
    I was inactive for years. A missionary tried to insist that I take my name off the church rolls. He kept harassing me. I told him to get lost. Good decision.
    a friend of mine has 5 kids. Some active and some inactive. She tells all of them to maintain their relationship with Christ. I would not worry about your standing with the lds church. If it is not the place for right now, fine. How about reading the New Testament ocassionally? Why not have relationship with Christ instead? Pray to Heavely Father if you feel that's something, you can do. Forget about the Mormons. Just ignore them.
    I don't know why you are inactive but just in case...was some Mormon a real jerk to you? A leader, maybe? Some Mormons, even some leaders do bad things. That's their problem. Not yours. 
  15. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in Stopped going to church   
    Welcome, @Titan-ium17!  (I like your user name. )
    I don't believe this for a second.  You shouldn't either.  Getting into hell (by which, I assume we mean outer darkness, perdition, that place where Satan will spend his eternity) is not the simplest thing in the world, and if you were going there, you would not only know it beyond a doubt, you would know upon making the choice that that was exactly the choice you were making.
    Being a disciple of Christ, the only answer I can give you is that it would be better for your salvation if you chose to follow Christ.
    I really don't know whether there's a difference in which variation of "don't follow Christ" you choose.  Someone wiser than I will have to comment on that part.
    PS: The folks here aren't in the pre-judging business (for the most part).  We're more in the "encourage and invite" business.
  16. Like
    seashmore reacted to askandanswer in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    Just a few not very carefully thought out thoughts:
    Make your own decisions about how you will live your life rather than having your life determined by someone else's decisions. While you are still single don't let your life be determined too much by someone else's decisions, eg, his decision about whether he will call or not.
    I think the fact that he was writing you super flirty letters while he was on a mission would normally be a red flag, but because he stopped doing it after a while, then perhaps it is a yellow, not red, flag.
    Nothing is real until you meet. Not even phone calls or video chats.
    If you do meet the most important thing to watch for is how he treats his mother.
    With you moving back to the States, and him finishing his mission, and then moving to Idaho, you are both going through some fairly significant changes, and will both need time to adjust, so perhaps you should both just take that time and take it slow. However, there is some risk that if you are too slow, somebody else might be a bit faster. On the other hand, my guess is that no other girl wrote to him every week while he was on his mission, so that should put you ahead of any competition there might be. 
    I love the idea of dating your best friend - what could be better? Especially one who is so encouraging
    You need to allow for the change and growth that has occurred while he was on his mission. Have you changed and grown as much as he has?
    I would call today, the sooner the better. Keep it warm and friendly and welcoming and make sure he understands, in a low pressure kind of way,  that you are looking forward to meeting with him soon. I don't think I would go so far as to propose a date, but that's a very individual choice and entirely up to you. I hope you might be kind enough to share, in general terms, how the call went, like, in an hour or so. 
    A short personal note from my own experience- I'm not a good example of waiting - I made sure that the woman I was interested in had something very like a marriage proposal waiting at her home address a few days before she finished her mission. Its quite possible that if it hadn't been there she would have continued her relationship with the boyfriend she had before her mission.
  17. Like
    seashmore reacted to Sunday21 in So what is nice about your State/Province/County?   
    Ontario! We have lots of tiny lakes cut out of glaciers up north. We have granite outcropping. Very pretty. We have lots of clean fresh water! Many great places to canoe. We have beavers, moose, loons and garter snakes. 
  18. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in Multi faith questions   
    If your religion were a fountain pen, which fountain pen would it be?   I'm going to have to ponder this.  Do we go with an extra-fine nib for that whole "strait and narrow path" thing, or a double-broad nib because we want everyone to come?  The classic black, cigar-shaped pen, like a Montblanc 146 because we're a bit reserved; a Visconti because the doctrine is beautiful, or maybe a Karas Kustoms because we were "made in America"?  So many decisions.  Maybe mowing the lawn will lead to further insight...
  19. Like
    seashmore reacted to RomanianLDS in Finally Found the Truth   
    Hello eveybody ! 
    So i am originally Romanian and Greek and i am 20 years old . I grew up in Romania in a Seventh day adventist familly who had converted from Orthodoxy. I came to Montreal Canada when i was 7 . I grew up in a familly that had multiple issues , my parents fighting a lot and then after taking their anger on me . i grew up feeling a void inside my soul that i had to fill somehow and i knew that only the Lord could do it . So i started searching all religions and . I kept searching and praying and i eventually stumbled upon The Church of Latter day Saints . At first i was not interessed because my parents were against it . I still kept searching but then i started listening to Mormon videos on the Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul and i liked it and kept listening to videos on Joseph Smith and i fell in love with him . I Could draw a comparison between him and other great Prophets such as John the Baptist who were trying to bring people from Darkness to Light and i felt the Spirit telling me this is the truth . I contacted the Missionnaries recently and i am meeting with them tomorrow God Willing and i am looking forward to reading The Book of Mormon , Doctrines and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price . I feel that i finally made it and that God after all this search , those sleepless nights of questionning , has finally brought me where i belong , into God loving arms . 
  20. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from zil in Multi faith questions   
    1. What does a typical worship service look like? (An LDS answer would describe Sunday meetings, emphasizing sacrament meeting as the most important.)
    2. How do people of your faith learn the doctrine? (LDS answer: scripture study, prayer, and general conference)
    3. What is one thing you wish others better understood about your faith/religion?
     
    I think this is a fabulous idea if you live in a religiously diverse community. "...If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." Just last week, I shared five reasons I like to learn about other religions, and at the top of the list was opening myself up to faith promoting experiences, as well as finding common ground. I don't think that learning about what others believe means you have to agree with it. Sometimes, learning that someone sees something differently only reinforces my own belief. Example: the Trinity.
  21. Like
    seashmore reacted to Vort in Questions About Our Faith   
    The Spirit. Lack of the Spirit. Tolerance is a wonderful and truthful principle of Godliness. Today's American/Western idea of "tolerance" bears little resemblance to the Godly principle. Members share their lives with friends and have lots of children. Young men are generally expected to serve a full-time, two-year mission, and young women are invited to do so for 18 months. The opportunity to approach God and my fellow man in Spirit. People's tenuous grasp on the gospel and its doctrines. Very little. It is perhaps the case that I have seen many Buddhists that seem unattached to money, a trait I wish I saw exhibited more uniformly among the Saints.
  22. Like
    seashmore reacted to An Investigator in Questions About Our Faith   
    My response as above,  deleted the questions.
  23. Like
    seashmore reacted to Jane_Doe in A Sense of Urgency   
    D&C 18:15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
    Sharing the Good News is something that brings tremendous joy to the giver and the receiver.  It is something we do for joy of everyone, not something to do because fear.  If you had any other good news, would you hesitate to share it with your friends- no!!  Why then hesitate and procrastinate sharing Christ's ultimate Good News? 
  24. Like
    seashmore reacted to An Investigator in Multi faith questions   
    Ok... thanks for your input.  As you well know I live in the UK which is quite a secular country, in fact the Buddhist who is speaking is my husband and the Christian is also another non member husband of a church member.  The idea is about inclusion and showing that just because someone isn't LDS does not mean they don't have a moral structure etc... I am actually training to teach comparative religions and believe being on a religious path is better then no religion at all.   
     
    Further more I teach RS and the ladies in my ward would like to know how to talk to other faiths and find common ground.
     
    I am sorry you feel this passionately about it most reactions I've had have been really positive.
  25. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from An Investigator in The Temple   
    In defense of the carpet lady, there is symbolism even in the carpets at the Winter Quarters temple. (There's a vine-based design that is continuous throughout the halls. If you find a leaf in the design on the floor outside the baptistry, you can follow the vine, unbroken, upstairs to the hallways outside of the endowment and sealing rooms. Similarly, we are all connected via family history.)