seashmore

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  1. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from An Investigator in The Temple   
    I love the temple! It is my very most favorite place to be in the world. I get Music Time in Nursery excited about going. I could easily yak anyone's head off about my experiences there. In fact, it takes conscious effort on my part not to do so. Believe it or not, I reached a point in my life where temple attendance became a casual thing for me, and that made me a little uncomfortable. For me, personally, talking about it too much, even in a reverent manner, cheapens* my experiences in the same way wearing your best pair of shoes every day would quickly wear out the soles. 
    *I'm not convinced that's the exact word I wanted to use...
    That all being said, I had a blast preparing for my first time. The Church published excerpts of Packer's book in a pamphlet of the same name, as well as dedicated the Oct 2010 issue of the Ensign to temples.
  2. Like
    seashmore reacted to Latter-Day Marriage in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    My wife was 19 when we married and I was 22.  It was right for us but none of my 4 daughters were anywhere close to being ready for something like that when they were 19.  It was actually kind of shocking to see them and think that is how old she was back then.  I'm amazed neither of our parents freaked out.
  3. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from askandanswer in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    Advice first, perspective later.
    You've obviously looked at the situation from a romantic side, now try a rational side. What are your thoughts about putting in your own mission papers in a year? What's your five year plan? What's his? How closely do they align? Have you consulted your patriarchal blessing (or considered getting one)? If you need to talk it over with someone, try your brother. He will know you and your family, and might be able to give you some counsel.
    To give my advice some weight: I'm a YW Leader (1st counselor) in my branch. I'm 31 and single, but my semi-active sister just got married at 17 (she'll be 18 in July) to a (barely) 19 year old Catholic Marine. She and her husband have been exclusive for three years. It's a pretty drawn out story, but suffice it to say it was right for them, and our dad was over the moon to walk her down the aisle.
     
  4. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in Looking for a BOM Study Buddy   
    Institute may be intended for the college-aged, but I find it invaluable decades later, and in addition to using the electronic institute manuals, I keep my paper copies (whereas other paper manuals have long been junked).
    And this:
    And this problem....
    ...is easily solved by being the next one to post.
    Regarding the idea of studying with another newbie...  I think this can be useful, but it sounds a lot like two students without a teacher.  I would not limit yourself to only new-ish members.  As you find a question in your reading, post it, you'll get a wide variety of responses here, from a wide pool of experiences.
    My first thought, truthfully, was that your husband is the best person to study with - your perspective will teach him a great deal as he learns to think about the gospel from the perspective of a new convert.  His experience will help you to learn.  The joined experience will bring you closer to each other and to God.
  5. Like
    seashmore reacted to anatess2 in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    Okay, now that I have a few more bits of information, here's my final jeopardy advice.  Calm down, child. 
    Okay joking aside.  I suggest to remove all notions of romance out of the equation.  Then work at establishing a life in the US, meet lots of people, make lots of friends, enjoy Americana, and keep in touch with him through text/phone/social media as friends until you can arrange a meet and greet... add him to your group of friends and get to know him well.  When you've seen him angry, sad, mad, happy, snot running down his nose, held down a promising job, interacted with a puppy, and his mother... and you still like him, then ask him to be your boyfriend.  By then you'll be 21 with a few adult life experiences under your belt.
    That's my final answer.
     
     
  6. Like
    seashmore reacted to Latter-Day Marriage in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    Nothing wrong these days with the girl making the first move.  Might be a good to test to see how he would react to something like that too.  Chances are as a fresh RM he is attracting other female attention so you might not want to wait.
    You are however 17, so your dating should follow youth rules, not YSA rules.  When/if you date, make it a double date with another couple.  I met my wife when she had just turned 15 and I was 17.  We didn't date at first, we met at church dances and youth activities.  When she turned 16 I was 18 and we double dated.  We didn't date one on one until after we were both YSA age.
    We were also a long distance relationship.  At first we were in neighboring Stakes and lived about 100 miles apart, right after we had our first date her family moved 1000 miles away, then I went on my mission the year after that and was 3000 miles away.  Her family moved again the same time I finished my mission so then we were a 6 hour drive apart from each other.  It wasn't until after we were engaged that we managed to live in the same city.  We still have all the letters we wrote each other, and I think we got to know each other in ways we wouldn't have if we lived close to each other the whole time, but don't assume that is the case for you. 
    Don't lose your head, keep your eyes open.  It is easy to idealize somebody you haven't spend much time with and project onto them what you want them to be.  We don't often expose our flaws and our negatives in the letters we write, we put our best self forward so while you might know lots about each other, there is also a lot you still don't know about each other.  Take your time, get to really know each other.  What is he like when he is angry, frustrated, hurt?  How does he react when provoked?  Things like that don't make it into letters.  Given your age, you have lots of time.
  7. Like
    seashmore reacted to alilc in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    He was in Texas before he left and I'm in Germany. But I move to Utah in less than a month and he is moving to Idaho 
  8. Like
    seashmore reacted to alilc in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    True. true. I'll see him next month. I just want to be friends with him right now but I'm just confused on how to act. 
  9. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in Liking a Missionary (almost RM)   
    Yeah, I'm thinking dad will be a bigger barrier than anything else - he may struggle not to kill the RM...
  10. Like
    seashmore reacted to NightSG in You're single because....   
    Ok, that's just creepy...I was going to ask where you are and see if I could arrange to be there and ask you out at some point, but as I continued reading your post, you're apparently just a Y chromosome short of being me.  I'm almost afraid to find out more at this point.
    So far, I'm at 16 women in five years that have either married the next guy they dated after me or got engaged before our first date was scheduled to happen.  One canceled our dinner-and-a-dance first date because the other guy proposed to her at lunch that day.
  11. Like
    seashmore reacted to Vort in You're single because....   
    Now I'm getting all tingly with anticipation! You'll be sending us the announcement, right?
  12. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from Sunday21 in The Temple   
    In defense of the carpet lady, there is symbolism even in the carpets at the Winter Quarters temple. (There's a vine-based design that is continuous throughout the halls. If you find a leaf in the design on the floor outside the baptistry, you can follow the vine, unbroken, upstairs to the hallways outside of the endowment and sealing rooms. Similarly, we are all connected via family history.)
  13. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from Sunday21 in The Temple   
    In defense of the carpet lady, there is symbolism even in the carpets at the Winter Quarters temple. (There's a vine-based design that is continuous throughout the halls. If you find a leaf in the design on the floor outside the baptistry, you can follow the vine, unbroken, upstairs to the hallways outside of the endowment and sealing rooms. Similarly, we are all connected via family history.)
  14. Like
    seashmore reacted to Jane_Doe in The Temple   
    It's also discouraging as a lifelong member prepping!  
    I personally think that culturally we put way more shroud of hush-hush over the temple than it needs to be and it can be very counterproductive at points.  Obviously some discretion is needed, but I think we way overkill it.  Much of it can be discussed, and I think it's perfectly ok to discuss those things in a personal/private and reverant/sacred manner.  Similar to discussing sexual things (another super sacred-not-for-internet-spamming topic).
  15. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in The Temple   
    I think any person who has reached a point where most people their age have received their endowment but they haven't, regardless of whether they grew up in the church, might be frustrated and curious about temple ordinances.  And I wonder if that's not actually a benefit in disguise - a motivator to get ready and go find out for yourself.
  16. Like
    seashmore reacted to Sunday21 in The Temple   
    @An Investigator. I find most temple discussions to be as you describe. People are worried about discussing sacred things outside of the temple so they say nothing!
  17. Like
    seashmore reacted to An Investigator in The Temple   
    I have just read the book The Holy Temple by Boyd K Packer... ( @zil sent me a copy as I struggled to get the full book in the UK).  
    It is such an amazing book, it has totally changed my perspective on the Temple and I'm in the process of starting temple prep classes which I am most excited about.
    The way the book goes on about what a privalage it is to serve God in this way, really made me appreciate the bigger picture, none of my husband not being a member etc matters, what matters is doing Heavenly Fathers will, that he has entrusted us with a responsibility and we must honour him by doing it.   In return he will give us great blessings. I also like how it describes wearing Garments as being ordained to do this privalaged work and how men and women are equal in the temple as the work would not exist without each other.
    Clearly the book goes into great detail about things without revealing I would guess sacred things,  yet no one in my ward has ever talked to me this openly about the temple, so why do you think people find it so difficult to talk about? 
  18. Like
    seashmore reacted to prisonchaplain in Am I being called to the Mormon church?   
    My first reaction is to mourn that there would be cliques in Pentecostal churches.
    My second is suggest some good, prayerful study of scriptures-beginning with the Bible. I'd suggest starting with a read through Acts, since your family is currently in a Pentecostal church. Ask yourself, and the Holy Spirit, what you are seeing in your current church that seems off (besides the cliques, of course). Ask God why you feel unsettled, and even that you're in the wrong place.
    THEN, yes, visit an LDS ward. Again, ask the Holy Spirit to give you a discernment of the rightness/wrongness of what you see, hear and experience. LDS here are fond of saying that Joseph Smith came to his revelations in large part because he prayed for wisdom and truth (according to a passage in the book of James). Do that. Pray for wisdom and truth.
    The Old Testament, New Testament, and Book of Mormon all promise that if you seek God with sincerity you will find him--and where He wants you to be.
  19. Like
    seashmore reacted to Iggy in How To Be Anti-Anything   
    This made me chuckle. My Grandmother was cranky, bitter and sarcastic most of the time. Her daughter, my Mother was the total opposite. Often, after Grandma left the room after spewing her viterol at me, Mom would hug me and say: Grandma is one of the elderly who doesn't age gracefully. note: Grandma was 53 when I was born.
    Yep, I agree totally.
    Hm, I disagree with this. Grandma knew full well she was being grumpy/argumentative/nasty. When I reached my early 20's, I also reached the same height and weight as her. Looking her straight on, eye to eye, nose to nose, I simply told her that her attitude & actions were inappropriate, uncalled for, unacceptable and to cease-n-desist. note: she flung out Cease-n-desist at us kids all the time. As an adult, looking back, I realized she really wasn't using that in the proper context - but in tossing it back at her I got my message across. My standing up to her, made her realize how hurtful she was being. At least my two youngest siblings didn't have to suffer from her tongue lashings as much as I and my 3 older siblings.
    MormonGator, think about it - when you are grumpy/argumentative/nasty don't you realize what you are doing at the time you are doing it? I sure do. I also don't feel good about myself until I go and apologize - sincerely apologize to those I have verbally lashed out to and against. Sometimes it is the entire RS, sometimes it is to individuals.
    With my Grandmother, her demeanor changed to the better after she had 4 teeth removed. She had too many teeth and the pressure/pain made her miserable. Since the pain was not a sudden type, but rather a sneak up on you over time kind, she and the family didn't notice it. Mom said Grandma had been like that all her life.
    My crankiness/rudeness/etc. is a result of the pain I am in. Chronic pain wears you down especially when the onset is relatively soon. Mine started about a year ago.
    One of my favorite sisters in RS came to me just this last Sunday, put her arm across my shoulder, kissed me on my cheek, and asked me how she could help me get my old, happy, self back. Her love and concern and LACK of judgement brought tears to my eyes. I told her to just keep loving me, and reminding me when I begin to get out of control - that this too shall pass.
    Love those cranky/grumpy/argumentative/nasty people. Let them know you love them no matter how much they try to make it hard for you to do. As I was sitting in the chapel with my head bowed and my hands clasped in my lap [I was hurting], a little girl came up, patted my hands and told me that she and Jesus loved me. I took her hand in mine , brought it to my lips, kissed it and told her that I loved her and Jesus too. MADE. MY. ENTIRE. DAY
  20. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from pam in Am I being called to the Mormon church?   
    Great question! It reminded me a little bit of Joseph Smith. He, too, was searching for a church to join and was inspired to follow the counsel in James 1:5, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God. 
    My suggestion is to pray about what is right for you and your family, and decide to follow whatever answer is given. Should you decide to join the LDS Church and be baptized, that doesn't mean you should give up your friendships with those from your previous churches, especially if they bring faith, hope, and joy into your life.
  21. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from pam in Am I being called to the Mormon church?   
    Great question! It reminded me a little bit of Joseph Smith. He, too, was searching for a church to join and was inspired to follow the counsel in James 1:5, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God. 
    My suggestion is to pray about what is right for you and your family, and decide to follow whatever answer is given. Should you decide to join the LDS Church and be baptized, that doesn't mean you should give up your friendships with those from your previous churches, especially if they bring faith, hope, and joy into your life.
  22. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from pam in Am I being called to the Mormon church?   
    Great question! It reminded me a little bit of Joseph Smith. He, too, was searching for a church to join and was inspired to follow the counsel in James 1:5, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God. 
    My suggestion is to pray about what is right for you and your family, and decide to follow whatever answer is given. Should you decide to join the LDS Church and be baptized, that doesn't mean you should give up your friendships with those from your previous churches, especially if they bring faith, hope, and joy into your life.
  23. Like
    seashmore reacted to beefche in How do you tell your husband   
    I discovered recently that my husband responds to my efforts to show my appreciation to him. I gave him a card where it had a message that resonated with our relationship. I also wrote in it with things that I was proud of him for or appreciated about him. Wow, talk about a response. He bought me flowers, he spent more time with me, he took me out, among other things. Seriously, I wasn't expecting anything in return (other than an acknowledgment and thank you) but did it to remind myself of the things that I appreciate about him now. 
    (I've tucked this little tidbit away to use in the future when I need some additional attention from him. Holy cow, did this surprise me!)
  24. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in Am I being called to the Mormon church?   
    Welcome, @QuestioningMoma!  Glad to have you here.   I agree with the others, it does seem the Lord is leading you to specific experiences to help you learn and grow.  Now it's up to you to decide where to go next - I'm sure the missionaries would like to teach your whole family.  I hope your new Mormon friend would like to share her feelings with you, if you ask - don't be afraid, most of us want to share our faith, but often don't know how to start the conversation.
    And, of course, we'll all be happy to answer your questions and have conversations here.
  25. Like
    seashmore reacted to fatima in Eternal Marriage   
    Hello, Anatess!  What a great response!  For clarification-I am a practicing Catholic and I am not actually trying to get out of my marriage.  Like I said, it's not abusive or anything, but I was curious about LDS theology on the topic.
    It is my belief that being happy comes from being holy, and doing God's Will, as you have said, in service to my spouse.  I get to try to love him as God loves him, in spite of my feelings on the subject.