seashmore

Just lay out what you told us: that  being a temple worker gives me a concrete sense of divine purpose, and you would like to continue, but you're not going to be able to make a 5:10 pre-shift meeting.  Is there a way we could work this out?    For example, you joining the shift a little late at 5:30.
People want you there to help out, and you want to be there.  This can be worked out, no problem.  

Thank you for your replies.
I have told her she needs to close her accounts and open new ones.  She is pretty resistant to this.  I am not going to force her to do it, but I have relayed that this is something she should do.  I only hope her finances are safe for now.  She did at least alert her bank.

This happened to my mother. This is Canada, We got a LOT of help from the police. The police worked with the bank. The police gave my mother a lot of counseling and help. She lost no money.

So, credit card companies and banks deal with this stuff so often, it's really boring.  She calls them up and says "data piracy" or "stolen information", and they fall into their "ok ma'am, let's get you protected" script for the twelth time that day.   I don't think it would even occur to them to think poorly of the person.
But yeah, those phone calls need to happen like yesterday.

- Contact her bank right now and they will walk through reissuing her credit cards, setting up credit monitoring, etc.   She needs to get herself protected.  If she has a responsible child, I would also recommend letting them know so they can support mom through this process and hopefully prevent a similar scan from happening again.  
- Lady needs to be taught about personal security and NEVER trusting random voices on the phone.  Hammer it home.  And do keep the child in the loop to re-hammer it in.
- The computer is a lesser priority.   Deal with that only after financial stuff is down with.   The simplest thing to do is to have her computer "reimaged"- aka wiped and Windows reinstalled from the ground up.  This is easy to do for any tech-aware person and there is no need to pay a computer store lots of money.  I'm sure that if you ask, there is a tech aware younger person in the ward that can do this for her.  They will likely need the computer for a few days to do this.  
- People's numbers and birthdays -- honestly this information is pretty easy for a hacker to come by.  If you're concerned, I would maybe have a special class for people about keeping information secure and being aware of threats.  If you are in a ward with a large proportion of older people, I would very much do this, as the scammers/hackers specifically pray on old people.  

I jumped off a bridge and now I'm scared to death to speak with my doctor. What if he puts me in a cast? What if he -- gulp -- operates?! I don't think I could stand that. Can anyone tell me what my doctor will do? Can I get any guarantees that he won't cut my leg open and operate on me? A whole surgical team of old white men looking at me...I just don't think I could stand the humiliation.
Your friend is worrying about all the wrong things. She needs to get her head on straight. As her friend, you should be helping her in that quest.

Many people break down at the thought of facing responsibility for their actions.  However, to truly get on the right path it is necessary.  You can fake your way past the Bishop, but not Heavenly Father.

Sorry you're dealing with this. What came to my mind:
1 - "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"
2 - Come up with responses you can have on the ready for when you might be told info and/or something about someone else. Comments that tactfully defray the situation but put a stop to it. 
Hoping for the best for you!

Welcome to Real Life®, and sorry you have to put up with this.
I do not know the correct answer. If I were in your position, I would keep my nose clean and work on a going-forward basis. BUT -- I would not be an idiot. I would not put myself in a position to be criticized by this "mentor". I might, for example, video record everything in class, so that if/when this person's poison tongue lashed out at me, I could simply take the video into the principal's office and prove her a liar.
It's tempting to be a White Knight and fight the battles for the downtrodden, like the poor gossip victim. But then, you don't really know what the background was to their conversation. As a friend, I would encourage you to keep working and keep positive, but be on your guard, especially around this person.

1) JAG answered this one - for the same reason you do any good thing now.  (Plus, "The Millennium" might need to become "The Millennia" in order to get all the work done.)
From a speculation standpoint, there are those who theorize that the Spirits of our ancestors, once sealed to us, have greater power to protect us from the adversary.  (This kinda seems like a no-brainer to me.)  The implication is that it's our ancestors who help and protect us from beyond the veil, not strangers or randomly assigned spirits - therefore, until they're sealed to us, they have little to no ability to help us, and no authority wherewith to act for good.
2) The short answer, IMO, is that this has not be explicitly spelled out for us.  Thus, we are left to assume.  JAG's analogy was an excellent one, I think.  The Family Proclamation would give us other hints, as would temple sealings.  Certainly, it seems obvious from a functional standpoint that righteous ancestors set the example and lay the groundwork for righteous and prosperous descendants, and that righteous descendants can extend by proxy the ordinances of salvation to their ancestors - in other words, functionally, we need each other's help.  For whatever reason, exaltation requires that all the participants be sealed into one great big family.  Intuitively, this seems right, but don't ask me how to lay out a geometry-class-style proof.
You/we can't.  The Holy Ghost and the Spirit of Elijah do this.  Worry about inviting them, so they can touch the listeners' hearts.

No, I believe attending the temple would help in the healing process

Hi! Absolutely it is a sin. We are supposed to honor our bodies as a temple. Just as killing someone and cutting someone else with a blade is a sin, so is hurting and cutting your own body. As far as keeping you from the temple I imagine it is up to your Bishop and Stake President. I think it would be best to get as close to the Lord as possible. If you think yours or someone else's cutting is going to result in them attempting to cut someone else then of course stay away from the temples.
Above ALL reach out and get help. Tell the bishop or counsel your friend to tell their bishop and he can help you/ them get the help that is needed.

Great plan.
Let her go one a mission and maybe go on one yourself too.  At the end of 2 years you're both be more mature spiritual, physically, and emotionally.  If you want, you can look into dating again then.

@seashmore Well, you'd better find space in there for a scene about Kraft Singles. I'll check up on you if I happen to think of it while I'm online during November.

Thank you ladies and gents- I do feel better after saying a little prayer then sitting down and basically typing out my testimony to send to him. Patience, love, kindness, boundaries and respect are all good things to keep in mind.
I know his pestering is done out of love trying to save my soul.
He called me (in tears) on a Thanksgiving day over 12 years ago begging me to leave the Church or I was going to Hell. I tried to assure him I was not leaving the Church nor was I going to Hell. He was desperate to keep me from the fire.  I know it was all in love.
You know something funny? Out of my four children, my Catholic son is the only one who calls or texts me to keep in contact. My two LDS girls normally call me only if they need something or need to vent about the other sibling(s).
Thanks again for the advice and support! :-) 

You are very kind @JohnsonJones. The one thing about you is that you are aware of history, you are aware of others feelings about history, you do not make excuses for history, and your testimony remains intact as you know in whom you trust.

@pam  I don't know how I could have forgotten about you (I didn't, just a momentary lapse).  You are a wonderful moderator who tends to be upbeat and chipper which helps all be happier.

So, with some of the topics I have felt a bit of negativity recently (probably on my own part perhaps) and so I thought I'd create a positive thread.  In this thread we compliment those we know of in the forum.  I'm going to try to give everyone compliments (and if Somehow I miss you, PLEASE, tell me in the thread.  It is not due to maliciousness on my part, but I'm a older and sometimes my mind is not as sharp as many others around her.  Forgive me for my bad memory and jog it with a post so I can include you).
So, I'll start...
@JaneDoe I appreciate your thoughtful replies
@NeuroTypical I enjoy your snark at times, and though I may not understand it, your little Pony enthusiasm
@CV75 I enjoy your willingness to discuss things with people who have questions and your recent posts in the Resurrection thread.
@zil I appreciate that you are active on the forums and, though I do not understand it fully, that you are so enthusiastic about fountain pens
@BJ64 I think it is great that you pick up on small details and want to help those that are striving to do better
@Traveler I appreciate you injecting a more scientific approach at times and explaining things from a more technical mindset
@MormonGator I like that someone from a rival team is here (LoL), but I also enjoy that you can relax the forum and spring in some humor when we all get too serious
@FetherI think that you do wonderfully at striving to do good, and this is an extremely commendable thing
@Iggy I think your staunch support of standards and your desire to help others up is something that is wonderful
@MrShorty You seem to be able to navigate the middle ground at times and try to create peace.  The Lord said, blessed is the peacemakers.
@Grunt I appreciate how you bring up the gospel so plainly and point out how these we should know.  It brings us back to how we should be, rather than trying to dodge around commandments.
@Just_A_Guy  I think you look great in a suit ( hah).
@Just_A_Guy I do think it was good you wore a suit, but there is more to compliment you on, just making a joke because I know you can take it.  That's what I like about you, you can take all the abuse and still be nice.
@Carborendum  I think you and I are more alike than we may think at times, and I like how you stick to your guns and your morals.
@Anddenex  You bring in thoughtful injections into conversations that note that you really think about the subject and consider what is said or not said
@Scott I appreciate how you like to go back to sources.  You like to check to see where something is sourced and give a source for your comments
@Blackmarch  You are blunt at times, but we all need the blunt truth to bring us back to reality.
@Laniston You have a smaller post history so it is harder to define what I enjoy, but from what I've seen, I think I appreciate your willingness to share personal experiences with the rest of us.
@unixknightI enjoy how frank you are in admitting your own difficulties which helps us to understand our own and help prop others up in there striving to be good.
@estradling75  I not sure I understand the carebear, but I do appreciate your willingness to share your opinion, even when others may be hostile to it.  It takes courage to do so at times.
@SilentOne  You are exceptional and you speak through listening and only say something when it is important.  We all could learn more from your approach.
@Vort  I love that you stand for something (the gospel).  Gordon B. Hinckley instructed us so and it is good to see someone doing that.
@Emmanuel Goldstein  Not a ton of posts to know you well yet, but you seem to convey a lot with very little.
@mrmarklin  I like that you are able to converse with those who need advice and share with them in order to help them
@pwrfrk  I think it is good that you bring us to recognize how blessed we are and strive to help others with your advice and words of peace
@theplains  Not a long time member, but it seems that you enjoy talking about the gospel with others and I think that is a good thing to do.
@wenglund  I appreciate how you are normally trying to discuss hard subjects without condemnation or judgement, but rather understanding and hope.
@Jersey Boy  I think that you are willing to share your feelings in the open which is a hard thing some of us have doing.
@Rob Osborn  You point out the plain and precious things of the gospel at times.  Even if we don't agree with all your opinions, I think it is terrific that you point these things out
@NeedleinA   You are a wonder to read in your posts.  You try to help others on the forums and have some interesting perspectives
@Crypto  I see you post infrequently but people genuinely like you and your posts here
@warnerfranklin  I haven't seen you around much recently on the forums, but I appreciate how you share your views and opinions and how thoughtful you can be
@Lost Boy  I like how you express sympathy for those in need and empathy for others.  I appreciate how you can make us think about how others are and how we should be.
@Midwest LDS  Thank you for how you interact with others and taking the time to listen
@Backroads  I also enjoy how you show empathy for others and how you, despite your troubles, try to listen.  I hope that you continue to enjoy your new job also
@askandanswer  I find your answers refreshing at times and your injections in conversations interesting
@mordorbund  Tis an interesting name you have.  LotR connection?  I think you express your humility at times and I appreciate that willingness
@mirkwood  Another reference that seems it could be a Lord of the Rings thing?  Anyways, I think you try to make things lighter on the forums and make others laugh.
@anatess2  I like how you tell it how it is.  You come right out and tell us what you think and I feel that is a good thing.
@person0  You have things to share with us that enlightens our minds, though you also tend to joke around as well at times
@classylady  Your name bespeaks for itself.  We would all do better if we had as much class as you
@Maureen  You help us to recognize that we are mistaken in many of our assumptions and point out the good in others
@bytebear  I find your comments fun to read and at time enlightening
@seashmore  I look forward to reading your posts and enjoy what you have to say.  I enjoy how you share your experiences and your thoughts on things
@DennisTate  You are another that I cannot say I have read a ton of your comments, but from what I see you are thoughtful and reflect on what you write.
@LiterateParakeet  Your posts are refreshing on these forums as they try to see the best in people and view the best possible things about others
@MaryJehanne  Your willingness to share about the Catholic Church is appreciated
@Lindy  sharing experiences from your life is good in showing us examples and ways to be.
@Sunday21  Your enthusiasm is a beacon for us all.  Your love for the temple is also something I admire greatly
@SpiritDragon  You are a wonderful person that seems to be Canadian. 
@Jeremy A  I'm not sure how many have participated in your trivia but you keep on trying and going.  You are like the energizer bunny.  Perserverance is a positive quality.
I'm certain I've missed many, I've tried to include as many as possible and yet I've probably still failed.  If so, be aware it is NOT because I don't think you are wonderful, but simply because there are so many names and so many people and remembering them all is sometimes very difficult.  I probably forgot some of the closest and dearest ones that are on these forums.  I apologize, but if I did miss you, just tell me in the next day or two and I'll hopefully have that to jog my memory.
Don't let me be the only one, if you have people you want to compliment on something they did on the forum, go ahead and post it!
We should recognize people for doing good!
 

Aaaactuallyyyyyy....I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year.  One of my housemates was watching an episode of Stephen Universe that mentioned something about "fifty pages of wedding cake."  She scoffed at the notion, and my reaction was: thanks for the NaNo Challenge.  50k words about wedding cake will be written by me in the month of November.  A facebook friendshipversary featuring a photo I took of a couple pinky-swearing to not smash cake in each other's faces that showed up a few days later cemented the plans.

And that's why it's sometimes referred to as Winterpeg.

(shudders and has nightmares for a week)

I think it'll be a spy story.  There's supposed to be a dead drop under the Kraft Singles - but there are no Kraft Singles!   You frantically, but furtively examine the cheese case.  Nothing.  People will die if you don't get the message that's supposed to be there!  In a fit if irrationality, you start pulling cheese out of the case in hopes the message was put under the "Great Values" slices, or maybe behind these Sargento cheddar slices.  Cream cheese, shredded cheese, Cache Valley cheese, blocks of cheese!  Soon the floor is littered with cheese.  You're almost at the end.  Babybels go flying.  And then you see it:

You scream at the realization all is lost, and that commie cow is laughing at you!  In the next instant, a police taser has you writhing on the floor, kicking cheese around.  Then @mirkwood hauls you off on charges of disturbing the cheese.
Or....  Your child has refused to eat anything until you make pigs in a blanket.  He hasn't eaten a thing in three days.  You're starting to believe his will is stronger than yours.  You go to the store, pick up a can of Pillsbury crescent rolls, make your way to the cheese area, and oh the horror!  The only cheese your child will eat is Kraft Singles (aka "fish food") ... and ... they're out!!!  The nearest other grocery store is an hour away.  You reach up to pull your hair out, and pause.  Hmm, you think.  Maybe it would be easier to just let him starve.

Really?  Your grocery store didn't carry Kraft Singles?

True story: I went to Winnipeg for Spring Break my senior year of college.  It was the last time I drank alcohol.  We were on trimesters, so our "spring break" was the last week in February.  I had a couple of friends who wanted to leave the country before they graduated, as a bucket list type thing, and Canada was closer than Mexico.  We stopped at the Mall of America on our way.  Our highlights of Canada included stopping for me to take a pic at a curling rink and an LDS chapel that I had seen from the highway, and Spring Break Blizzard Pictures at the Border.  (Right now, only the chapel pic is loading.  But the other ones exist, I promise.)

(For context, I'm an RSP.  I'm nothing like the "Mormon woman" stereotype, let alone the RSP stereotype, so these are clearly not required for the calling.  I don't really want my calling, but I consider that my own failing and essentially irrelevant.)
Step one - and it may seem like I'm giving credit to something irrelevant, but I'm not - stop using words which imply you and the women in Relief Society are children.  You are not.  You are adults.  You should both think and speak of yourself and them as adults.  Women.  Not girls, not even young women - women.  Make it a habit.  Snap a rubber band every time you screw up.  Whatever.  It will change your thinking eventually (too slowly for you to notice it, but it will happen).
Step zero - start making the best choices.  For some reason, many of us let trials force us into intentionally making mistakes - "Life is hard, I may as well make it worse."  This is self-destructive behavior (I know it well, personally).  Stop it.  Forget the bishop, forget your calling.  Figure out what you need to stop doing or restart doing regardless of those (personal scripture study, sincere prayer, temple attendance (make sure you're worthy first), etc.).  Doing this will make your calling easier to deal with.
So re-engage in your own way.  When the bishop gives you counsel or instruction, listen carefully, take notes, ask questions, clarify his meaning and intent and your understanding of the same ("do this", "I understand I'm supposed to do this", "that's correct").  Then go ponder and pray about it.  Then respond.  Consider both the easy and the painful - maybe you're there to help this bishop learn to be more flexible - or less stereotype-enforcing.  Maybe he's there to help you learn some humility.  Maybe everything or anything else.  These are worth pondering.
When you meet with your bishop, do you go simply expecting him to give you instruction / expectations? Or do you go with a list of names of sisters you are concerned about and ministering to?  Do you go with a list of questions to ask and ideas to share to move the work of the Lord forward?  Is it possible he sees you as a "girl" and you need to demonstrate that you are a woman (by which I mean a mature, responsible female - hooray for "the world" which makes me feel it necessary to explain that)?
Never give the bishop complaints or problems - give him solutions (or suggested solutions).
And I'm going to recommend this talk for the second time today: "Be 100 Percent Responsible" - because the only way you can improve the situation is by changing what you do.  You cannot change other people, only yourself.
If you're not already, pray sincerely for your bishop, his counselors, the Elders Quorum Presidency, and your own counselors and secretary.
You either need to get new ones, or minister to and train the ones you've got.  Being a counselor in RS since April 2018 GC is almost as heavy a load as being RSP - with ministering interviews, there's just too much to do for the RSP to do it alone.  Part of your duty is to train your counselors.  If you haven't set expectations, you need to do that.  Put it in writing as well as discussing it so that it isn't easily forgotten.  Make sure you are having regular RS Presidency meetings - they need this as much as you do.
If they say they then aren't willing to fulfill their callings, you may want to suggest they request to be released.  When requesting a calling be filled, in addition to names you've prayed about and received confirmation on, you should give the bishop a written "job description" (very high level - 2 or three sentences paragraphs) that the bishop can use to explain the calling when he's extending it.
If you haven't, read Handbook 2 chapters 1-6, 9, and 13 - then the rest if you can ever make the time.
Finally, I'm kinda curious to see examples of what exactly the conflict is with the new bishop.  Does he want you to have a table cloth and decorations on the table for RS and you think that's pointless?  Or does he want you to teach topic A while you think you should teach topic B?  He thinks the RSP should meet weekly and you thing every other week is good enough?  Exactly what level of detail are we talking about?  Is it possible you think he's dictating more than he really is - that you're assuming method when he's telling you the goal, or that you're assuming "exactly and only this" when he means "for example"?  Or....?
Anywho, I reckon that's more than enough.  I sympathize - being RSP is harder than having a full time job (I have both, I know whereof I speak).  Get yourself the help you need.  Have a meta-discussion with the bishop about how you and he communicate with each other.  Maybe, after the above, he needs to know that you feel like your calling is destroying your faith.  But you also need to acknowledge that it can't do that without your cooperation.