NeuroTypical

Call for references. Where are these official statistics and who keeps them, and how do they know? If you have a ward telephone list, how exactly do you tell which are active and which aren't?* We take roll during sacrament meeting and in classes, but not showing up on roll doesn't mean you're inactive. * The church doesn't keep any official records of members who have requested no contact. Bishops might keep their own records on the back of a paper bag, but there's no way to mark an individual as "not active" in the church computer. I've never seen anything official on the subject, other than to discuss retention issues. Sure, it is an issue, but I'd really like to know how exactly you've quantified that issue to claim a 50% inactivity rate. LM

When Satan is bound, and then again when he is finally defeated. Until then, right will often be harder than wrong.

Yeah, Obama has surrounded himself with washington insiders and more or less continued the policies of the previous administration. Not just foreign policies, but also the "spend money we don't have on things that won't work" policies. LM (yearning for the next conservative revolution)

Not trusting your husband sounds like a good thing at this point. If someone at work did this to me, I'd get a restraining order against her, and work with the company to keep her away from me. Under no circumstances would I ever, ever, flirt with or hit on anyone besides my wife. And I don't text females unless it's only work related.If you have the funds, you might want to consider getting a PI to see if something is happening. If there is, you can use the PI's evidence in court as you try to protect your kids financially. If there isn't, you can take a breath and relax a bit. You have kids to protect. You can't be sitting there in shock feeling sorry for yourself. LM

To not have facial hair. So I'm out. You can go in my place - I'll give you a big fuzzy-faced grin when I see you there.LM

What, are you truly suggesting that when we talk about rights, [gasp] responsibilities go along for the ride? Sorry, we don't allow that sort of mature wisdom here. I'm about halfway in agreement with your post, TheOgre. A few items: I can't really agree or disagree here, until we figure out WHO the owner needs to answer to, and HOW the owner can prove such a thing.For my Utah permit class, the requirements to pass included loading a semi-auto pistol with a clip containing 5 rounds, firing 3, and safely unloading the other two. By passing that test, is that not proof positive that I'm capable of not harming others? Is that the level of proof you were looking for, or did you have something else in mind? Again, the devil is in the details. Criminal - are you talking about anyone who breaks any law, or just major crimes like felonies? (In other words - I got a speeding ticket once - do I really have to hand over my guns? 10 years ago, my generic relative Bob got arrested for being in a bar fight and did 2 days in jail and 30 days community service - no permit for him ever? He's kept his nose clean all this time, and he's got young teen daughters to protect too, ya know...) insane/mentally-ill - There are levels and categories of mental illness. Are you sure you want them all lumped into one bucket, and deprive them all of the right to own guns? There are plenty of mental illnesses (depression, OCD, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, etc) that do not affect a person's understanding of right and wrong, or their ability to safely employ a firearm. Why would we want to disarm them? If you've got a list of paxil poppers who have shot up shools and malls, I'm listening - but I don't think that list exists. stupid - Well, I can sympathize, but not really agree. Not only do we have too hard a time measuring stupid, but all the accidental and intentional shootings by otherwise smart people would seem to make this condition not very helpful. Now, if we had a crystal ball that would tell us the future - I'd gladly use that to deny permits to people who would abuse them... LM

Welcome Gatorman! Sorry it's something difficult that brings you here. Something to keep in mind - there is a night-and-day difference between "righteous" and "self-righteous". One is a good thing - no difference between it and right. The other is not a good thing.Hope your time here helps! LM

These police are exhibiting signs of an uncontrolled adrenalin fueled fight or flight reflex. The deal is - you shouldn't be a cop without having lots of training on how to control your own body as it goes through such reflexes. When our local cops threw a "here's what it's like to be a local cop" training deal, they talked extensively about how they were trained to recognize and control such reactions. If the cops in the video never got such training, I'd suggest the firings don't just stop with them. LM

Thanks for your service! They tell me the secret to a happy retirement is to stay busy. I look forward to trying it out myself some day.

I've got sort of a tangent to go off about. I don't want to hijack the thread, just want to highlight a few things. So, this is not a "what is the worst sin" poll, this is a "what is the worst sin out of the options given" poll, right? Because dang, if this is supposed to determine which behaviors can humans engage in that separate themselves from God to the greatest extent, then it's sure missing a bunch of stuff. It's probably watered down 'because it's for kids', yes? I would suggest that we do our youth a disservice by not talking about reality. Consider for a moment the kid who is currently being sexually abused by an older sibling or maybe a father. That kid comes to seminary to learn about right and wrong, and lo and behold, finds that sexual abuse isn't even on this list. Everyone is bickering about whether jaywalking or skipping church is the worst sin. We have failed in a very basic, foundational way with this kid. We fool ourselves if we think our youth are not aware of drugs, violence, sex, rape, tyranny, murder, and many other forms of "for mature audience only" sins. And if we don't talk about such things at church or at home, then a smart kid learns to place church and home in the "useless waste of my time" category. Sorry for the rant. As far as the actual poll goes, the 'worst sin' is the one which brings the greatest distance between the greatest number of people and God. That's a function of heart and attitude, more than it is picking a certain behavior. LM

The Anti-Nephi-Lehies:

Pale: He's on a first name basis with lucidity, while the rest of us have to call it Mr. Lucidity, and that's just no good in a pinch. He squeezes the milk of life from the cow of destiny into his dirty glass, and he drinks it warm. He is the yin to villainy's malevolent yang. Two decades ago, the realization struck: It wasn't a magic hubcap after all, the magic was within him all along.

Palerider: He is a citizen of the moment. He has burned the sacrifice of pride, and rides on to Mt. Zion. He builds his white picket fence around the "now", with a commanding view of the "soon to be".

Palerider is the preeminent bronzed Adonis of LDS.net. His mere presence on this board brings about broken hearts of the ladies, and unveilable jealousy from the menfolk. We have already written his epitaph: Here lies Palerider. Shot to death at the age of 112 by a jealous lover. It's a shame he left us before reaching his prime.

Oh, the vast majority of 19 year olds ARE immature - no need to avoid that point. By definition - you're not mature until the maturity centers of your brain (those that help with long-range decision planning, etc) have fully matured. And that doesn't happen until mid-20's somewhere. Two things heal non-traumatic emotional pain of this nature - distance and time. Just have one, and the pain stays a lot longer than if you have them both. What an odd thing to say. Strong emotional ties do not make people family.

We're for it.

Just stop talking about dating other people while he's here. When he's gone, write lots of fun supportive letters. If you date here and there, you don't need to put that in your letter. Neither one of you will be the same people when he comes home in two years. If you've "waited" (meaning, although you may have dated people while he was on his mission, you and he still want to date each other exclusively when he comes home), then date him exclusively for a while and see if he's still the guy you want. He'll be dating you to see if you're still the girl he wants. Good luck. Put 1000 girls who say "I'll wait for him" in a room, and maybe 2 or 3 will still be there when he gets home. If you're one of those 2 or 3, then more power to ya. LM

You will be dealing with this woman, as she is now, for the rest of your married life with this guy. If your fiance had a backbone with his mother, he would have showed it by now. He will be defending her against you for all her life. If you think you can buck it up and smile, then marry him. If not, then you should probably look for someone else to marry. LM

No. One guy in the church (Brigham Young, I think) once said something along those lines. I forget the exact quote. But no, "The Church" (as in the first presidency and quorum of the twelve, who supervise everyone who produces teaching materials) does NOT teach this. I personally made it to 26 before getting married, and wore my 'danger to society-ness' as a badge of honor. LM

Yeah, losing innocense stinks, and forgiveness is important, but you've got a new child to protect. Deal with him from a position of strength. If he's as meek as you say, part of the consequence he will accept, is that you start a legal paper trail. Contact a lawyer, give the lawyer all the evidence you have (craigslist ad, email conversations, etc). Get your husband to fork over a signed confession if he'll do it. Make it quite clear that he has only one chance to repair this damage, and if he ever screws up again, you will do everything within your power to make sure that your child is provided for financially, and protected from the influence of an adulturous father. If he goes the next 50 years never screwing up like this again, then good for everybody. If this instance is just the tip of the iceberg, then you've got the paper trail started and are in a much better position to get child support (assuming he can provide it), and favorable visitation (if he wants it). This isn't a pornography problem, or an innapropriate office fling. He went out and advertised for anonymous sex. Basically asking to bring home an STD. Deal with him from a position of strength. Tell him, in front of your bishop, that this is where you are, and where you will go. Then let him make the next move.

I know someone who is doing 5-life for pleading guilty to a first time offense of aggrivated sexual abuse of a child.

I use yahoo as my homepage, but have removed all the pop-culture nonsense.

When I got neutered, they only asked for one sample, and after both conditions: * 2 weeks after surgery, * after a dozen 'pipe cleanings' So it sounds like these requirements might be springing from their set up, not as any sort of real condition where if you don't hit the exact dates or give two samples, it would impact the success of the surgery. From what I understand, the samples are merely to verify the procedure worked. It's not like if you don't give them samples, they strap you down and forcibly reverse the procedure. Anyway, your goals are noble. I see why this issue is causing you a bit of worry. Consider - your Heavenly Father knows what's going on too. If you can find an answer that you see yourself explaining to Him, as you stand before Him as a righteous man - that answer is probably the one you should go with. LM

I spent most of my college years taking philosophy classes, hoping for a resolution to this exact same issue, SS. My advice, be patient, study, and pray. I sucesfully resolved this issue, by learning what it actually means to "know" something. (It was something the philosophy classes helped with, but couldn't put to rest.)LM

Not only did my wife help me when I was in this situation, but she also took the sample down and handed it over to the confused nurse while I hid behind a plant. Wives rock. Now if you're not married, I would need to ask why you or your doctor cares one way or the other about this particular sample.