notquiteperfect

I add in extra time to factor in hanging out in the Celestial Room figuring that if I made the drive, I may as well not rush out.

Had another thought. You mentioned how you see this with your mom's side of the family - are their 'personalities' similar? You don't have to answer that but just keep in mind that different types of people have different energy levels so don't compare yourself to those that are of a different nature. If you're naturally more like a river or the ocean, that will not look the same as someone who resembles a geyser or waterfall. It's all good so work with it, not against it.

I would stick with your original plan - break up and get back to church. I also suggest prayer and fasting that he'll have a change of heart and sign off on adoption.

- Make sure you eat food that has life-force in it (real food - veges, fruits, nuts, sprouted bread...). - Don't overeat and keep meals simple (the body needs a lot of energy for digestion). - Drink plenty of water. - Peppermint essential oil (diffuse or put on bottoms of feet) - quality matters (should smell more earthy than candy-like). - Make sure your environment is uncluttered (major drain on energy). - Don't be too sedentary - get up and move regularly. - You can also paddle energy (check youtube or google for how).

This would be the exception rather than the rule. Furthermore, how/what you eat affects the physical side of health/illness but there's still the emotional, etc. I'm sorry about your dad.

Remembered one other thing - lymph massage. You need to get the lymphatic system moving. There's a proper procedure (circle motions, towards the heart) - check youtube or google. You can find a cheap long-handle brush at Wal-Mart. Bouncing on a mini-tramp is another option.

It's not about calories it's about nutrition. If a person is not getting the nutrients they need, the body will be in starvation mode and hang on to the weight. Dead food (doesn't expire for a good while) does not have any nutrients. Real food (goes bad within days) does. Also, most wheat (and corn) is gmo's. Dairy is major allergen and is laden with hormones. It's also pasteurized which kills the good stuff so only sugar is left. Furthermore, I'm speaking from experience (stopped eating those things and the weight fell off quickly with no effort). I've also read a number of books and listened to a lot of classes on health so I do know something about this. I still stand by my earlier post.

It sounds like you both have different love languages. Get the book and both of you read it - together if needed. http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156 Also, keep in mind that the first year of marriage sets the stage for a lot of things so it's important to read, pray, get to the temple, etc no matter who has to make it happen.

First, I'm sorry you and your family is experiencing this. Great input so far and will add that your kids may want to know what their mom was like/how they take after her so aside from the advice/encouragement stuff any journaling/recording she can do of her life/personality would be good. Now about the cancer - start eating an alkaline diet (google it) and drink apple cider vinegar (Bragg's w the mother) water (a tblspn in 8 oz - plug nose if necessary). Go to the health food store and get Essiac Tea. Not sure where you are but there's a clinic in So Utah that can turn this around. If you can't go there, get to a naturopath or at least an herbalist (keep looking till you find one that can really help). Read this book http://www.amazon.com/The-Cure-All-Cancers-Including/dp/1890035009 (I haven't but a local naturopath recommends it). Keep your thoughts and language positive. Also, laugh (best medicine) a lot (watch funny shows, get a jokebook, tell funny stories..,)! Music impacts us greatly - listen to the kind with highest vibration (classical???). Go to the library and get "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay to start dealing with the emotional things that created this (everything's connected). There's probably more and I'll keep thinking but this is what's coming to mind for now. There is hope. x

Agreed - but it's still good to do those things even if they're not at the top of the list. Gifts is my lowest but I still appreciate flowers.

One other thing - is she depressed? That can really mess with your mood. Please also consider that at least she's not using sex to feel 'good enough' for you, etc. That wouldn't be healthy either.

Aside from what has already been mentioned (start dating her!!!!, etc), I also suggest leaving notes around for her to find, bring her flowers for no reason, etc. It wouldn't hurt to ask her why she's hesitant (pain, not fulfilled/satisfied, bored, feels unattractive, it's gross, etc). If it's a low libido issue - a health issue could be behind that (look into Traditional Chinese Medicine or find a naturopath since western doctors don't deal with underlying causes). Also, do you give her back massages without expecting anything further, etc? Furthermore, don't ever do anything to break her trust - that can be a deal breaker for quite some time. Brotherson (mentioned above) has a website as well: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com

Her parents and family are her first resource and should be the ones to step in (money, housing, etc).

Changed my mind - I'm not going to "leave it at that" because I think there's something else you should be aware of. Some people are very sensitive to the energy that people give off and they can sense when something isn't quite right. Since they are so attune, they are very careful about who they choose to be around because they are bothered by it if it's less than positive. To say this another way, the spirit/energy you bring with you affects other people and the climate of the group/feel of the room. So no, this habit is not "harmless to everyone else".

It's more than just perspective (did you read the link???). As far as harmless to only yourself - hardly! As a woman, I find this habit degrading and offensive to my entire gender. Furthermore, I don't want to discourage you but this may affect future relationships more than you think (let that motivate you instead). I'll leave it at that. One other thing, you mentioned earlier that you're not ready to tell your parents. If it were me, I'd expect to be informed about what's going on in my home.

Let me try again - Thoughts and words are powerful! What you tell yourself matters - a lot - so make sure how you phrase things is what you *want* (not what you don't). Have you heard of the idea of using visualization to bring about changes you want to see? It's like that. Use the power of your mind (and language) to your benefit. What you believe will become your reality. Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he Also, I'm not just referring to having enough faith - this applies to all aspects of your situation. http://thecarolblog.com/how-to-predict-your-future-create-it/

Well, you can still access the ARP info: http://addictionrecovery.lds.org/steps?lang=eng and I'm sure there are other websites that you might find helpful until you can go to the meetings. You're right - but it has nothing to do with my suggestions.

Before people start piling on - let me chime in with a thought. There are different personalities/natures that play into this - *and it's OK*. My husband's nature is very laid back, easy going, is quick to find the good in everyone and everything and finds it easy to offer mercy, I otoh, have a different nature - my thinking first goes to justice long before I ever get to mercy, etc., etc, etc. Anyway, since we're all children of God, we obviously take after Him and whenever I hear of someone judging others for being too black and white or whatever, I wonder what scriptures they read because I see a lot of black and white thinking in mine. I'm not justifying any one position, just trying to offer insight into where different people are coming from and why. We all need to find a balance between justice and mercy, what we can tolerate and what we can't, etc. Just my 2c.

Are you going to the ARP meetings? Also, along the lines of my earlier post - you need to change your language on this. Stop saying "I don't have enough faith" because you will only prove yourself right ("as a man thinketh, so is he")! Change that to "I have enough faith in myself and God to overcome this", etc. Write these types of thoughts out if you need to so you can refer to them often until it sticks.

Sali - Just to clarify - I know you asked about the actual meetings but I see this calling beyond just that. My earlier post was referring to reaching out to all the youth and adults in the stake (not just those that come to the meetings) and communicating to them about the privacy, phone-in number, etc. Anyway, I'm sure you'll do a great job. All the best!

I've never been to one of these meetings but I suggest making very sure there's a strict privacy/no gossiping rule in place that everyone knows about so they're more likely to come/stay. Also, during Conference Sister Reeves mentioned phone-in meetings. I'd make sure everyone knew about those because I'm sure there are people who need support but would never go to a meeting because of privacy concerns, not knowing what to expect, too far to drive, need to be home with the kids, etc. I'd also try to offer *all* the tools possible so people feel more empowered to tackle things from all angles.

I understand the addicitive angle of the 'which sin is worse to have' but to me, any sin that affects others and not just you is problematic. (not you directly, just in general) And to add to Iggy's point - the old seminary adage of "be in the world but not of it" comes to mind.

My mom had engagement parties for us kids (maybe just the daughters - ettiquette?) and it wasn't at all about getting gifts. It's a chance for the families to meet. My mom kept it small and simple but meaningful. As far as giving a reason for the decline - it depends on the situation/person for me.

You didn't mention fasting so I suggest you add that to your tool box. I also wonder if taking up a productive hobby will help (use up 'free time' so you always have something to do - day or night). Also, what you focus on gets bigger so direct your attention on the good things that are going on - and only that.