Men bashing

[beefche]

Nope, this is not a thread to actually bash men. So, please play nice.

I was wondering from the dudes here what it means to you the term "men bashing." I don't think I do this, but I do talk about guys. There are some things that most men have in common, but now I'm wondering if my comments would be considered bashing.

So, what is it that women say/do that you consider to be bashing?

[Guest tomk]

Wise enough not to comment on this one.

[kona0197]

Me neither.

[beefche]

Oh my word.

I'm serious. I want to understand if I'm doing it when I'm talking with my girl friends. And I would like to stop it if the girls are doing it.

[skalenfehl]

It's a basic disrespect toward a man and his self esteem. A man's self esteem comes from being able to feel strong, being a successful provider (for himself or family), etc.

Edited September 8, 2008 by skalenfehl

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

My wife does it all the time but calls it husband bashing or trashing. I haven't told her yet, but it makes me feel like a loser sometimes. She does it often. I never talk trash or bash about her, so I wonder why I fall victim to it so much. Oh well, what's a man to do?

Rich

[NightShift]

I'm new here so I might not now. But it seems to be about taking ones manhood away. A great example is when you're on a date. And the man wants to pay and the woman gets mad and say that she can pay for herself. In this way you degrade the man. It's a lot worse than it sounds.

[Gwen]

i'm not a man but this is something that really bothers me, especially raising boys. i see what i would qualify as men bashing in commercials. the ones where the man screws everything up, and the woman comes in and saves the day doing it all. it hurts both sides, sends the message men are incompentent and that women should be able to do it all. men are competent and women can't do it all so both sides are set up for failure. i get so tired of the media image that men are compleate incompetent idiots. it's very subtile but when you start looking you realize it's everywhere.... just quits being funny after awhile.

[Palerider]

I would have to agree with what several have said here....hope that helps....:)

[Honor]

i'm not a man but this is something that really bothers me, especially raising boys. i see what i would qualify as men bashing in commercials. the ones where the man screws everything up, and the woman comes in and saves the day doing it all. it hurts both sides, sends the message men are incompentent and that women should be able to do it all. men are competent and women can't do it all so both sides are set up for failure. i get so tired of the media image that men are compleate incompetent idiots. it's very subtile but when you start looking you realize it's everywhere.... just quits being funny after awhile.

Pretty much like every single episode of "According to Jim". Oh goodness, it gets old!

[dazed-and-confused]

It's a basic disrespect toward a man and his self esteem. A man's self esteem comes from being able to feel strong, being a successful provider (for himself or family), etc.

yes...that is very important...but women can be every bit as good at providing than men.....and i do dislike those commercials that show men as brainless morons.....and the ones that portray women as helpless silly little things that need a man to rescue them from life.....you want to know if you're man bashing?......all you have to do is to look into yourself, and think......if this was being said about me, how would i feel

[Truegrits]

I would have to agree with what several have said here....hope that helps....:)

:lol: Sure, Pale...clear as mud.

[georgia2]

I thought men bashing was when women make generalized negative comments and include all men in the description. Like, "Oh my gosh! Men don't have a clue to what we need! Don't they realize that flowers don't take away the hurt they cause?" "Yeah I know! My BF thinks if he sends me flowers he doesn't have to say he's sorry and can do it again!? "Yeah, men are like that UGGGGG"

[Gwen]

i think expressing frustration over something that is legitimate isn't really "men bashing". if someone needs to say sorry (man or woman) flowers (or any other gift) won't make it go away........doesn't hurt though either. lol they still need to say sorry.

to me in conversation it's more .......... lol my husband's ex comes to mind, and her mother ........who have both made comments to me on more than one occassion suggesting that my husband doesn't love his son. when my stepson would come while slightly sick and needing medication they would give me the meds and tell me what the dr's instructions were. they would flat out say, "normaly i wouldn't let him go needing meds but since you are there".... "well i don't trust his dad with this but i'll trust you".... i flat out asked one time, do you really think he doesn't love his son as much as you love him..... she said, "of course he doesn't, i'm his mother". these women realy believe a man can't love a child as much as a woman can. they perpetuate this with him, teaching him that daddy can't and doesn't love him as much as mommy does or can.... they even leave the impression with him that i am "better" than daddy..... not only does that hurt his relationship with dad but i don't think they realize how much that hurts his identity as a man.... he will think he can't love his children or care for them simply cause he's a man. they have served to undermine who he is and his value and capability on gender alone. i find that very sad indeed. i guess my personal experiances with that is part of why i am so sensitive to it.

in fairness i do tease and make jokes on occassion. and i am joking. i make them about women too. i also know there are a lot of ppl out there who are not joking and don't do it on occassion in playful jest but do it all the time and are compleatly serious. those are the ones that bother me.

[skalenfehl]

Simply put, men bashing/woman bashing is the act of belittling, demeaning, degrading, debasing and/or demoralizing a man or a woman.

[OneEternalSonata]

I'd define man/woman bashing as any words or actions that demean or degrade the divine role or potential of the said man or woman. These are sacred things and shouldn't be treated lightly.

Edited September 8, 2008 by OneEternalSonata

[Connie]

not only does that hurt his relationship with dad but i don't think they realize how much that hurts his identity as a man.... he will think he can't love his children or care for them simply cause he's a man. they have served to undermine who he is and his value and capability on gender alone. i find that very sad indeed. i guess my personal experiances with that is part of why i am so sensitive to it.

I can vouch for this because i am married to a man who had to endure this type of man bashing from his mother. He has really struggled to come to terms with his manhood. I mean REALLY struggled. He has told me some of these struggles and believe me you don't want to know.

I grew up in a male dominant home, and i LOVE men. I have come to appreciate men even more as my hubby and i have studied about true manhood. He has come a long way and will even stand up to his mom now when she starts her man bashing. All he has to do is mention that it was a woman (namely, her mother) who caused the greater part of her problems in life through abuse. Shuts her right up. It's great!

[Misshalfway]

So....let's just play out a scenerio. A woman comes here to LDS.net. Posts descriptions of terrible treatment from a male in her life. Everyone jumps on board with helpful comments. Some comments may even be "what a jerk!" or "You need to get away from him". And then suddenly men from everywhere scream out that women are just a bunch of man haters.

Well, I don't get it. There are some guys in this world that are behaving badly. What do you want us to do? Sugar coat that so that men everywhere don't get their feelings hurt? I am sorry. But bad behavior is bad behavior whether it is done by a man or a woman.

While I understand that man bashing happens, I must say that I think what frequently happens here on this site is a far cry from men bashing. And I don't see how comments directed at one man can be characterized as vast generalizations of bashing towards all men.

The sad thing I have seen lately is the vast generalization of all women as they have been blanketed with statements that make us all seem like we love nothing more than belittling men.

When a woman gets hurt....we get a little defensive of that woman. But that doesn't mean that we think all men are jerks. We love men. I think on the balance the women on this site are anything but "men bashers".

[Misshalfway]

PS to my above post. I am posting this here because I don't want to derail the other thread. But I would like to know....in all of my posts on the "anger/rage towards husband" thread, where did I bash a man? or anyone for that matter?

[Connie]

Misshalfway, you are one of the sweetest people on this site! I love you! I have never seen you go on a man bashing tirade, but i have seen a few men who are a little too sensitive on the subject.

[piper]

The sad thing I have seen lately is the vast generalization of all women as they have been blanketed with statements that make us all seem like we love nothing more than belittling men.

When a woman gets hurt....we get a little defensive of that woman. But that doesn't mean that we think all men are jerks. We love men. I think on the balance the women on this site are anything but "men bashers".

I think that's the difference. If you trash someone attributing their actions to be a result of their gender you enter the realm of bashing and do nothing to hold them individually accountable. If you hold someone accountable for their actions simply because they are the one that did them not because of their gender, that's not bashing.

[Misshalfway]

Misshalfway, you are one of the sweetest people on this site! I love you! I have never seen you go on a man bashing tirade, but i have seen a few men who are a little too sensitive on the subject.

Well, I can't honestly say that I am always sweet. But, I thank you for the compliment nontheless. :)

[dazed-and-confused]

miss halfway.....in the short time that i have known you, i have NEVER known you to bash ANYONE......and yes, men can be jerks......but hey, equal time.....women can be too....it's a HUMAN condition that is not limited to one gender or the other.....as a man...i can take a joke.....i will even set myself up to be the brunt of a joke.....in good fun......but when i sense that good fun has now become hostle.....then i will step up and face my abuser.....the point of this thread is, as i understand it, to figure out what is and is not man bashing....and i believe that there have been some replys that address that very question....and yes, ABSOLUTELY....if a man is overtly abusing a woman, then jump on him....that is NOT man bashing...it's abuse bashing....and that's a GOOD thing

[Moksha]

I thought men bashing was when women make generalized negative comments and include all men in the description.

Wow, I was thinking the same thing. I know I have gone overboard whenever I make generalizations about all women.

[Bookmeister]

Me go lift heavy thing now.