What is your general impression of LDS member's attitude toward members with disabilities?

[BluePlastic]

So, I am writing a story with an LDS woman as a major character (in case you didn't read my intro thread, heh. :)) Cecilia, my character, is blind and has been for her whole life.

Now, I know that the official position of the church as expressed on their official websites is very accepting of disabled members, and that a lot of church materials are available on tape or in Braille, etc., so she would be able to access all that information and materials.

But, I was wondering more about how accepting, in your experience, the members of the church are toward people with disabilities that might require someone needing extra help/accomodation during Sacrament meeting and the other church meetings and activities. Are people generally happy to help? I know that all the people who "work" in the church (teachers, group leaders, the bishop, etc.) are volunteers and that made me wonder if they might feel that someone who needs extra time and accomodation is a "pain" or what have you.

Any experiences you can share are much appreciated :)

[FunkyTown]

I can't imagine anyone being upset because someone needed a hand because they were blind. I used to date a deaf girl who was part of the church and she never really had a hard time. Granted, she could read lips.

Though I always wished I had learned ASL. She was cute.

[ConnieM]

Mh, well... of course there are always two sides to a story. But I remember a blind woman in our neighbour ward. When I was attending the Young Women's the leader would invite her to join us for some activities. She was around 40 and came teaching us "braille"! The leader would come and take her to our classe and also take her home afterwards.

I think that most members are helping friendly. But members are also just human. It is always a difference if someone needs help once or for a while or if someone is in a situation where he or she needs help or sustaining continuously. But also that can work out fine if they find a good solution.

If something happens, like an accident, the church members tend to do everything they can to help.

In our ward we have an elderly lady who cannot walk. The Elder's Quorum talked about it and made a service plan. They remind each other when it is their turn to get her to sacrament meeting or help her do the shopping of groceries or whatsoever.

[BluePlastic]

Thanks for your honest answers :)

I should add that while Cecilia needs some help constantly since there are always limits to what you can or should do when you can't see, she tries to be as self-sufficient as possible.

I know that in the end it's down to the individuals in a certain ward or group whether they're nice or not, but I don't want to be too Pollyanna-ish in describing the level of involvement/inclusion she experiences. :)

[pam]

I think we, as lds, try to be sensitive to the needs of those that have disabilities or handicaps.

In the last ward I was in, we had a sister who was extremely sensitive to certain smells. Enough so that it could sometimes send her into respiratory distress. She had a sensitivity to certain colognes, perfumes, lotions etc.

The Bishop came into Relief Society and spoke to us about caring and having compassin for "the one." He explained the situation and asked if the importance of ONE person being able to attend meetings was enough for us to discontinue the use of perfumes and scented lotions while at Church.

[Tarnished]

In general I think members are pretty good about accepting people with disabilities. We have a couple of sisters in our ward with down syndrome and they are given callings that they can handle, such as Relief Society chorister. However like someone said above, the members of the church are just human and sometimes humans can be mean, in general though I feel that members try to do the right thing.

My niece has been born blind and has been born into the church, however as she is still a baby I can't really get her opinion on the matter yet.

[beefche]

I think that physical disabilities are generally more accepted and people are willing to help however they can. I imagine that thoughtless things are said and done on occasion which may hurt the individual. It happens because we tend to just not think about what we are saying or think of the other as ourselves.

Generally, mental/emotional disabilities are more difficult to accommodate. Usually because it's just not obvious as a physical disability and humans tend to view everyone through their own experiences. So someone who has difficulty interacting in a social scene may be construed to be stuck up, rude, weird, odd, etc. "Why can't they just...." would be a common phrase thought/said, I would imagine.

I can say that in the times I've experienced when someone has a disability that is known, people tend to try to be more accommodating and thoughtful. Rides are given, people go out of their way to talk to someone, etc.

Regarding your character and your novel, I think that in an activity setting, it would be more realistic to have someone do something thoughtless to your blind character. Just thinking aloud here: She went to a ward party and sat in a seat which was obviously occupied by someone else. The person returns and not knowing she is blind, berated her for taking her seat. Oh wait! That would be more realistic if she did that at church in Sacrament meeting. There's an unwritten rule in some wards that families have "their" seat. If Cecilia took a pew normally "reserved" for the Smith family, that would be an interesting experience.

[Misshalfway]

I think mormon reactions are similar to the reactions of the rest of America at least. Not sure about other countries as societies and cultures are different. But I think it depends on the disability and the climate of the times. It seems the churches attitudes go with the trends of the popular ones. Now we know more about autism and depression and our acceptance of it has expanded with our knowledge as does our availability to support each other. We still struggle with other mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, etc. And I still see people have compassion for, but struggle to know what to do for a person with severe depression, for example.

[Maxel]

Mormons, like any group, are a diverse bunch- you'll most likely find both acceptance and shunning of those with disabilities within the Church.

My mom learned how to sign ASL (American Sign Language) in college, and became active in the deaf communities (my mom can hear just fine). Years later, when a deaf family moved into our ward, my mom was called as the "interpreter coordinator", teaching basic sign language skills and interpreting skills to the ward and heling the deaf family communicate. The end of the story is that the deaf family was well accepted and integrated into the ward and made many friends. In fact, my mom just told me that in that area they're working towards creating a whole deaf branch!

I know blindness isn't the same thing as deafness, but I wouldn't be surprised if this same story has been played out through the years in other areas.

EDIT: Also, there's an official "LDS disabilities resources" website.

Edited August 3, 2009 by Maxel

[dazed-and-confused]

my general impression is a good one. I have witnessed many occurances of people going out of their way to be of help to others when needed. Also, i have seen, on occasion, those who for reasons of their own, could not or would not be of help, but these were a clear minority and who's to say why it might have been so at the time?

[mnn727]

I think its about the same as the general population's attitudes. I do know that we have had signing (ASL) going on in a couple Wards I have been in when there has been deaf people.

[Guest TheLutheran]

So, I am writing a story with an LDS woman as a major character (in case you didn't read my intro thread, heh. :)) Cecilia, my character, is blind and has been for her whole life.

. . .

Any experiences you can share are much appreciated :)

BluePlastic~~ Will your character, Cecilia, have a service dog? That might have an impact on the acceptance of her and her disability.

[NeuroTypical]

I know that in the end it's down to the individuals in a certain ward or group whether they're nice or not, but I don't want to be too Pollyanna-ish in describing the level of involvement/inclusion she experiences. :)

Excellent. Here's a random thought I had about the church welfare system: The church looks out for it's own members, and if people need food or some critical bills paid, they meet with their Bishop who helps them. The backbone of the welfare system, is that there is no such thing as a free handout. You work for what you are given. If a blind member ever went to a bishop for help, that blind member would be given work to do in exchange for the assistance given. It would be work that a blind person could do, of course. I could see such a person assigned to visit and care for an elderly person, or play the organ during Sacrament meeting, or even teach a class if the person was able.

Anyway, just a random thought.

Some personal experiences:

* I had a Bishop with a stuttering speech impediment. It was a bit of a challenge for both him, and the ward, for him to conduct Sunday services.

* In a couple of wards, we've had some special needs kids. Cerebral palsy, borderline violent personality issue, a lot of wheelchairs. Sometimes (especially with the violent kid), someone was given the calling to be their 'helper' on Sunday. The person would attend all classes and basically gave the parents some time off to attend church in peace. The borderline violent kid just needed to be constantly in motion - so they got a rough old battleaxe of a lady to basically just wrestle and toss him around as he was in class. He could participate, as long as he was in motion. Try to keep him still, and he'd burst out randomly and hurt himself or others.

LM

[BluePlastic]

Wow, thanks everyone for the wealth of responses! :)

In all, it's about what I figured -- people will try to be nice usually, but some people won't know what to do or will be insensitive.

beefche, that would be interesting, especially as the book progresses (without giving away too much, let's just say that disabilities become incredibly rare after the disaster in my book, so people would really not be expecting someone to be disabled and would assume the worst).

BluePlastic~~ Will your character, Cecilia, have a service dog? That might have an impact on the acceptance of her and her disability.

No, she doesn't have a service dog. She uses the white cane sometimes but usually she is led by her parents or husband, and, after his death, by her friends Michael and Jeremy who sort of watch over her.

Excellent. Here's a random thought I had about the church welfare system: The church looks out for it's own members, and if people need food or some critical bills paid, they meet with their Bishop who helps them. The backbone of the welfare system, is that there is no such thing as a free handout. You work for what you are given. If a blind member ever went to a bishop for help, that blind member would be given work to do in exchange for the assistance given. It would be work that a blind person could do, of course. I could see such a person assigned to visit and care for an elderly person, or play the organ during Sacrament meeting, or even teach a class if the person was able.

Ah, okay :) Cecilia would be glad to help in any way she can if she needed help. She already is very involved with the music program in her ward because she's an excellent singer, and she's the kind of person who would like teaching little children so that would definitely be a possibility. :)

[ConnieM]

Hi,

I haven't been online for some time (I moved ). I seems to me that you got some great responses here. How are you getting along with the writing?

Best wishes :)

[ADoyle90815]

I'm not LDS, but I have heard mostly positive things about how members treat those who are disabled. I would hope that those who get SSI aren't expected to pay tithing on that alone since it really isn't much at all to live on. Obviously, if someone has a job, they would naturally pay tithing on their paycheck as part of their beliefs.

[Mahone]

I would hope that those who get SSI aren't expected to pay tithing on that alone since it really isn't much at all to live on

To my knowledge, everyone who gets an income is supposed to play tithing. The only exceptions are full time missionaries and those who are dependant on church welfare support. So basically if they have enough income to support themselves without church aid, they are expected to pay tithing. This really is a personal decision though in which the bishop should advise. The instructions cannot account for every situation.

Edited September 5, 2009 by Mahone

[Gemma]

The backbone of the welfare system, is that there is no such thing as a free handout. You work for what you are given. If a blind member ever went to a bishop for help, that blind member would be given work to do in exchange for the assistance given.

LM

Not strictly true - this is often the way it works but its at the bishop's discretion. We discussed this is sunday school recently and a member of the bishopric shared an experience where the bishop asked him to go to the chapel and give £50 to the man he'd find there. He did, and never saw the man again, but thats fine, the bishop works through inspiration and is there to care for the well being of anyone within the ward boundaries who asks for help.

[Elphaba]

About four years ago I was involved in a study to determine how disabled members of the Church were accommodated. Thisi is what I found:

1) Obvious physical disabilities are accommodated quite well. All of the members pitch in to make sure that person is comfortable, and able to hear the speakers, and they make sure the person gets in and out of the building. Young women and men are often tapped to help these people.

2) Hidden physical disability: It depended on the bishop. I interviewed two people with hidden disabilities and one story in particular was heartbreaking. A young woman had been born with one arm, and the cartilege had dissipated in the other arm. (I guess that's what carpal tunnel is?)

She had adopted a family member's daughter whose parents were white and black. So it was impossible to just sit down and brush her hair. The woman needed to wait until she was out of pain to tackle her daughter's hair, and it was extremely painful.

Her bishop did not believe her about her pain. She had asked him if she could attend a later meeting, because her arm was in so much pain in the early morning. He refused, and accused her of abusing her pain meds.

She was very upset because he wouldn't give her a temple recommend for this. Not only did she want to attend the temple, she wanted to be sealed to her daughter.

3) The second hidden disability story is the same as someone here has already mentioned--scent allergies. This man had been at a ward that was completely aware of how serious this was, and did not wear any scents. Then he had to move and the new bishop dismissed his allergy completely. It got to the point that he couldn't attend Church anymore.

4) Fourth, mental illnesses. From my research, the Church does not accommodate people with mental illnesses well at all, especially if their illness causes them to act out in ways that make everyone uncomfortable. These people often develop slowly in social situations. They call out inappropriately, talk to people intrusively, interrupt conversations, and even scream and yell.

No one in my study knew how to accommodate these people. I think some awareness training of people with these types of mental illness would be a great idea. I alway felt thiese disabilities, for both the person and the other person who'd like to help, could be better support.

However, I am unccomfortable painting the whole church with the same brush in the mental illness category. I don't personally believe that no one can work with them. I really have no idea how many can and cannot. I do wish, if my numbers are correct, that the Church did some sort of awareness training.

[BenRaines]

While I am sure that there are situations that it has not been addressed properly please let me share regarding one family I knew in Las Vegas. Their son had severe disabilities, he can walk and see but he has the mental capacity of a one year old, if that. He is 20. He sits and stares at a picture from the cover of the Primary manual. His mom has them laminated so that he can hold it, look at it, etc and it will last a few months. He constantly makes a hooting sound when sitting in sacrament meeting. They sit in the last row of the soft seats usually and near the door. After Sacrament meeting each week one family in the ward sits with this young man in the foyer or an available class room and cares for him. Reads to him, etc. They do this for the remaining two hours. Each family in the ward has had an opportunity to do this and then it rotates over again. This is purely volunteer and anyone who is uncomfortable with it doesn't have to. This family has felt a greater outpouring of love from their ward family and many people have learned that their burdens are not so heavy after all.

There is one family in the ward that twice a month they come over to the house to watch this young man so his parents have have a date night out.

This is true service and Christlike love.

Ben Raines

[LocalFarms]

My little brother has downs and I have seen noting but the best treatment for him in Church. Members always eager to help him in callings. He evenm was able to pass the sacrement with guidance from his fellow deacons.

[applepansy]

In all the wards I've lived in everyone was more than willing to help anyone requiring help.

[applepansy]

I'm not LDS, but I have heard mostly positive things about how members treat those who are disabled. I would hope that those who get SSI aren't expected to pay tithing on that alone since it really isn't much at all to live on. Obviously, if someone has a job, they would naturally pay tithing on their paycheck as part of their beliefs.

I'm on SSDI. I pay my tithing on what I receive. I need the blessings that paying tithing brings.

[jennamb]

I have a little sister that has a disability. People have always been eager to help out with her and take time to make sure that she is doing what she needs to be doing.

However I also sometimes feel bad that people have to do this for her, I do think that sometimes it can be frustrating, but the people that help her always tell me what a joy and a blessing it is to work with her and to help her. :)

[crazypotato]

My impression is that people need to know about the disability and specifics on how they can help. If you don't offer specifics, you may be disappointed in people's reactions.

And also, people without disabilities do baby people sometimes, or don't help enough. It is all about communication and the communication should come first from the person with the disability or their family member, for example. I have seen that usually people are only rude out of ignorance or fear, not out of meanness.