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BrioCyrain

Is there something wrong with me?

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Hello, I want some LDS opinion on this. So I am like...20 and if I remember correctly the prefered minimal LDS dating age was what...16? Though in-between these 4 years I have yet to land a single date with a girl, LDS or non-LDS either way.

I know many people told me "the time will come" but I don't want to like some old gramps person by the time that happens. I mean all the LDS friends I have had since then had either gotten married or have been on numerous dates. I just want to know why I've been avoided or just been "collecting dust" these 4 years.

I've tried to make contact with LDS girls that I liked and when I told them that I liked them even though we spent time around the same friends and stuff they just blew me off and thought I was a weirdo. I don't see what so weird about me, I mean I am a bit shy but I don't see how that makes me weird.

Some people just think I just been running into fickle girls but I am a bit surprised since all the girls I've tried to get them to notice me seem to go under this "fickle" category.

I just wish I could have hope for the better.

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Dude, I'm 30...I haven't had much luck in the dating world, just a few girls I could call my chick over the last decade and a half, none of them stuck... I think I have issues, and some of my friends on this board would whole heartedly agree...

but everyone has issues.. you got plenty of time, don't rush it

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Dude, I'm 30...I haven't had much luck in the dating world, just a few girls I could call my chick over the last decade and a half, none of them stuck...

Perhaps if you didn't refer to them as your chick, they might stick around.

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I didn't date until my mid-20's. And I was married within a year of starting. I like to tell people that I was just waiting for girls around me to mature to the point where there was a point to dating. But in reality, I was just socially awkward and a late bloomer and terrified of trying to date and failing.

LM

(13th year of marriage, 2 kids)

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I love that you are honest even when it comes to you being socially awkward :lol:. With that said I have a job for you in educating me about your religon. I am doing a research essay on your religon and have a few questions but no one to answer them for me. It has to be some what like an interview and maybe I could give you my email or if there is some way on here we could do it that way as well. My questions are to bias but some are tough..... but lets face it when its relgion its a "big," deal. Please let me know if you are up to the challenge.^_^

God Bless,

Mama moni

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I've tried to make contact with LDS girls that I liked and when I told them that I liked them even though we spent time around the same friends and stuff they just blew me off and thought I was a weirdo. I don't see what so weird about me, I mean I am a bit shy but I don't see how that makes me weird.

There's a problem. Anyone would feel uncomfortable or intimidated by someone coming up to them and telling them they liked them.

When you see girls that you'd like to get to know, find a private time (either in person or on the phone) to ask them on a date. Already have an activity in mind. A sample conversation: "Sally, I have tickets to the basketball game on Saturday. I thought it would be fun for you to go with me. Would you like to go?"

Or if you are in conversation with a girl and think you'd like to go out with her, you could say, "You are so funny! I'd love to get to know you better. How about dinner on Friday night?"

You need to be asking girls out. I understand that you're shy, but there is a level of shyness you just have to shake off in order to get to know someone. So, practice in front of a mirror or even try it out on a trusted friend/relative. If a girl turns you down, then be aware of what she is saying. If a girl isn't interested, she will either tell you upfront that she's not interested or she's seeing someone else. Most likely, she going to find excuses "Umm, I'm busy on Saturday." Then simply respond, "Ok, what about the following Saturday?" If she comes up with another excuse, then she's not interested.

Good luck!

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I love that you are honest even when it comes to you being socially awkward :lol:. With that said I have a job for you in educating me about your religon. I am doing a research essay on your religon and have a few questions but no one to answer them for me. It has to be some what like an interview and maybe I could give you my email or if there is some way on here we could do it that way as well. My questions are to bias but some are tough..... but lets face it when its relgion its a "big," deal. Please let me know if you are up to the challenge.^_^

God Bless,

Mama moni

No offense but what does this have to do with the OP? This person is being honest about his dating situation and hurting from it from what it sounds like...and you want to ask him questions for a research paper?

Edited by pam

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BrioCyrain, if you want women coming after you from all four directions, learn to play guitar or the drums and get into a band!! Seriously! One characteristic that women love about guys in bands is not only the music, but the confidence that they seem to exuberate when they're on stage. Take it from somebody who's played in bands for almost 30 years in that it has NEVER hurt me when it came to women. You'll also gain confidence in yourself in accomplishing something by learning a musical instrument which will convey in the success of your personal life off the stage as well. Seriously, I've seen the most scrawny, ugliest, unkempt guys attract some of the hottest looking women merely because they played in bands. A good friend of mine who was good friends with Gene Simmons of Kiss said that when he was in college with him when he was just non-musician, future school teacher Gene Klein, he couldn't get a date to save his life!! Give it some serious thought. It honestly does work. If you do, I'll bet you'll be posting next year at this time when you're in your band about the problems you're having with juggling all the women who won't leave you alone. :)Good luck.:)

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Hey, Brio:

Dating is an awkward thing at first and what you're doing is brave. Most people, if they have dating issues, don't ask for advice. That puts you a step above most people in your range. Finding attraction, like riding a bike, requires practice and patience.

However, there are a few things you should know about women. There are always exceptions to the following rules, but remember that if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

1) The shy thing? Yeah. It doesn't work. I know, I know. We're going to get a lot of women on here saying 'My husband was shy!'. Now, go ask your shy friends how well they do with women. I bet they aren't going to be saying 'My dating life is super! No complaints.' That's okay - Being outgoing is a trait that can be learned. You just need to change the frame of mind you're in. Go out. Talk to a stranger. Tell a joke to a random person on the street.

2) You know what's sexy? Growing as a person. If you're a computer playing dude, join a gym. If you're a basketball player, go try out for community theater. It'll help you become outgoing, break you out of the shell you've created.

3) Don't get in to the friend zone. Talking politely with people for 3 months, then shyly saying you like them will not attract women. Again, we're going to get a bunch of people on here saying their husband was just like this. Ask your friends or - Heck, ask their husband if they had a great dating life prior to that. If you and her haven't been flirting, she hasn't been thinking of you romantically. You will just weird her out if you have been the perfect picture of niceness for 3 months and then say 'By the way, think of me romantically now.'

There are a lot more things to know, but those are the basics: Go out of your comfort zone, grow as a person, flirt. Don't get discouraged. You are a genetic winner. You come from a long line of people who have passed their genetic code on to their descendants travelling back to the beginning of time. You literally can not lose. Good luck. ;)

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Funky is 100% right.

You've got to make a direct effort regarding flirting. If I were to have polite conversation with a guy about the weather every day for six months and he all of a sudden asked me out? I would not only be confused, but also somewhat creeped out.

Getting out of your comfort zone will help you meet people, discover things about yourself, and attract girls. Funky is correct, personal growth is....for a lack of better words....sexy I always appreciate it when I see somebody trying something new. It makes me think they are open-minded relaxed.

Flirting takes practice. A lot of it. Don't get discouraged if you use the advice you are given and it isn't working at first. It takes a while to get the hang of flirting. Just keep putting yourself out there.

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Hello, I want some LDS opinion on this. So I am like...20 and if I remember correctly the prefered minimal LDS dating age was what...16? Though in-between these 4 years I have yet to land a single date with a girl, LDS or non-LDS either way.

I know many people told me "the time will come" but I don't want to like some old gramps person by the time that happens. I mean all the LDS friends I have had since then had either gotten married or have been on numerous dates. I just want to know why I've been avoided or just been "collecting dust" these 4 years.

I've tried to make contact with LDS girls that I liked and when I told them that I liked them even though we spent time around the same friends and stuff they just blew me off and thought I was a weirdo. I don't see what so weird about me, I mean I am a bit shy but I don't see how that makes me weird.

Some people just think I just been running into fickle girls but I am a bit surprised since all the girls I've tried to get them to notice me seem to go under this "fickle" category.

I just wish I could have hope for the better.

I'm 26 and I've had 1 date from my singles branch. Yeah. :lol:

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BrioCyrain, if you want women coming after you from all four directions, learn to play guitar or the drums and get into a band!! Seriously! One characteristic that women love about guys in bands is not only the music, but the confidence that they seem to exuberate when they're on stage. Take it from somebody who's played in bands for almost 30 years in that it has NEVER hurt me when it came to women. You'll also gain confidence in yourself in accomplishing something by learning a musical instrument which will convey in the success of your personal life off the stage as well. Seriously, I've seen the most scrawny, ugliest, unkempt guys attract some of the hottest looking women merely because they played in bands. A good friend of mine who was good friends with Gene Simmons of Kiss said that when he was in college with him when he was just non-musician, future school teacher Gene Klein, he couldn't get a date to save his life!! Give it some serious thought. It honestly does work. If you do, I'll bet you'll be posting next year at this time when you're in your band about the problems you're having with juggling all the women who won't leave you alone. :)Good luck.:)

Did you happen to see the College Humor video about playing the guitar in order to attract women? The skit thoroughly outlines the scenario which you have described. (Off topic.)

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Guest ThisisJames
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I never waited around for a date. I find that most girls/women prefer to be asked out and do not like being called chicks.

Ben Raines

[email protected] display picture.

Girls need to be asked out, You need to approach them with charm and confidence.

If you don't really show them respect, and show that you're confident, you won't get anywhere, and won't get a date until your 20 ([email protected])

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I'm 26 and I've had 1 date from my singles branch. Yeah. :lol:

Not a fan of double posting.

But this needs to be said.

One date?

I would love to be a second :D

Shame you live nowhere near me.

Seriously love. You're stunning.

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I'm 25 and haven't gone on a single date, not sure if that'll make you feel better or just make you compare yourself to me (a horrifying prospect for nearly anyone), but there you go.

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Ever Dravin? I'm 23 and I've never gone on a second date (and pitifully few first dates). I figure someday I'll meet someone crazy enough to marry me, I'm not too worried about it.

Edited by ploomf

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wow you guys depress me....

ok to the OP, this may not be what you want to hear but sometimes you need to hear it you may be "wierd" thats ok in the church sometimes people grow up secluded from the "real" world and what a girls expectations are.

this may sound crass but what you need are some confidance building excercises.....

1. Find a singles ward

2. Look for the girl who has never been asked out (you should be able to spot her I know I can when I go to a new ward)

3. briefly chat and ask her out (unless you are a real goober she will say yes)

4. Don't be a typical cheap mormon....take her some place nice and YOU pay!!

5. if you are nice, polite, and make conversation you will have a successful date and maybe even get a kiss

6. Move on to the next girl repeat this process 5-10 time till you build up your confidance.

I guess my point is don't shoot for the stars on your first attempt....shallow yes, maybe even a little mean, but you need to learn to talk to women, flirt and communicate....by taking out a girl that is (less desirable) you will make her feel great about herself and improve your self confidance in the process....start there and work your way up the ladder....

just a piggish suggestion...

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Will's suggestion is good in a way, because those girls can be just awesome. There's a lot to be said for a sweet spirit. But if you go about it exactly like he said then you pretty much get what you deserve.

BTW I was never asked out when I went to the single's ward. Never ever for 4 solid years. Seriously questioning my level of attractiveness when I met my daughter's dad who totally fell for me. It'll happen to you, and when it does it'll be worth it :D

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