Should we have low expectations for the people we serve with in the Church?

[Guest mormonmusic]

Someone once said that because the Church is essentially an organization of volunteers, we should have low expectations of people we serve with. Do you think this is true?

For example, should Church leaders at the Ward level be content with, and expect, low levels of commitment or performance from the people in their organizations (teachers, assistants, etcetera) because people aren't paid to do the work of the Church?

Edited May 9, 2010 by mormonmusic

[Dravin]

I usually hear those comments directed at competency not commitment.

[Traveler]

Someone once said that because the Church is essentially an organization of volunteers, we should have low expectations of people we serve with. Do you think this is true?

For example, should Church leaders at the Ward level be content with, and expect, low levels of commitment or performance from the people in their organizations (teachers, assistants, etcetera) because people aren't paid to do the work of the Church?

Every great leader that has inspired me to greater spiritual understanding expected me to excel. The most uninspiring leaders I have known expected me to do poorly.

I do not know about everyone else but I love to serve with those that believe in others.

The Traveler

[Jenamarie]

I usually hear those comments directed at competency not commitment.

I agree with this. I've had many very dedicated Sunday School teachers and Young Women's advisors, etc who some would say weren't doing their jobs very well, but they were doing the best they could, and most got better at their calling the longer they were in it, because they were committed to fulfilling it.

I don't think we need LOW expectations of people in the church, but we DO need realistic expectations. We're all human, we all have agency, we're all learning, and we're all going to make mistakes and blow it sometimes. Some members will be repentant about the mistakes they make, and some won't. Some will learn quickly how to effectively fulfill their callings, and some won't. It doesn't mean the Lord can't still use them for His purposes in building His Kingdom here on the earth.

Edited May 9, 2010 by Jenamarie

[MarginOfError]

It was Loudmouth Mormon, John Doe, and myself who made the statements that have been terribly disfigured to make this post. What we had said was that since the Church is operated by volunteers, Church assignments will very often be prioritized behind compulsory assignments.

This leads back to what Jena said, that we do not need low expectations, but realistic expectations. This usually means knowing the individual needs and situations of the individual members and assigning them tasks that can challenge and uplift without overwhelming them.

[Guest mormonmusic]

It was Loudmouth Mormon, John Doe, and myself who made the statements that have been terribly disfigured to make this post. ...

This leads back to what Jena said, that we do not need low expectations, but realistic expectations. This usually means knowing the individual needs and situations of the individual members and assigning them tasks that can challenge and uplift without overwhelming them.

This was not a reference to you guys. Your names were not mentioned, and I fully accept you may have meant realistic expectations. Also, a local leader I worked with indicated he stays motivated by not expecting too much from the people he works with which influenced my decision to make this OP.

So, MOE, realize I appreciate the posts you make and find many enlightening.

I'm starting to believe that if you attend a ward that has a high proportion of people with problems,who lack commitment etcetera, one way to deal with it is to lower one's expectations overall. I think it was Moroni who did this when circumstances got wicked -- he said he labored, but without faith.

However, in a Ward where everyone is highly committed, expectations can be much higher. This was the case in one ward I attended. One needs to recognize the level everyone is at, and set expectations a reasonable amount above their current level of performance to keep everyone stretching, but realistically as you say.

Edited May 9, 2010 by mormonmusic
clarity

[Zelduick]

Just recently I recall hearing someone quoting (I do not know who they were quoting); that we can afford to have trust in people, because if they let the trust down it will be repayed.

I think it's important to trust in other peoples potential as children of God, and if it seems like they are not living up to it, keep on trusting - it's a process.

[marts1]

Judging others in a righteous manner goes a long way, and excersizing the attributes of the Spirit is needed. (you know the list)

[Wingnut]

This may sound a little rose-colored, but I believe that if you consistently treat others with love and high expectations, that they will eventually meet those expectations.

[Daniel2020]

should [we] have low expectations of people we serve with.

No. Nor should we have unrealistically high expectations.

We are all human, with failings and imperfections. The demands in raising a family and financially providing for a family create obligations that come ahead of serving in Church callings. As well as limiting the time and resources a person has to devote to a calling.

Our exceptions should be reasonable. Neither too low or high.

[pam]

Our exceptions should be reasonable. Neither too low or high.

You did mean expectations correct?

[Daniel2020]

You did mean expectations correct?

Correct! One of these days I'll get stronger reading glasses.

[pam]

Actually I was just messing with ya. I figured that's what you meant. Unfortunately I failed to use a little smiley face to point that out. :)

[Gwen]

am i the only one thinking of the lesson from the jonny lingo video?

[Hemidakota]

Someone once said that because the Church is essentially an organization of volunteers, we should have low expectations of people we serve with. Do you think this is true?

For example, should Church leaders at the Ward level be content with, and expect, low levels of commitment or performance from the people in their organizations (teachers, assistants, etcetera) because people aren't paid to do the work of the Church?

Each people is different and provides there own interpretation of how to apply their strengths and talents, whether or not to give their best. A good case in point, is cleaning the church building, it is not just a case of showing up to be counted but to thoroughly clean to the best of your talents. We apply what we learn in order to increase our own talents.

Even talks when read from a piece of paper in a sacrament setting, can be a doleful moment without the aid of the Spirit.

[Guest]

I say have high expectations with love and compassion. There was a time in my 8 years of being a member when I was having trouble at home. Because of this, my calling fell on the way side. The primary presidency did not understand this - so they became really frustrated and I felt absolutely alone and overwhelmed. I finally made an appeal to the bishop to help us with our family troubles and not too long after that I got released from my calling, and so did my husband. We both became inactive for a spell.

Later on, after getting our lives back in order, I got a calling to be ward activities coordinator. My assistant was very good at first and then I started to notice her having difficulty fulfilling her calling. Because of my previous experience, I was able to notice that it's not just in her calling that she is failing, she seems to show signs of depression. One day, we shared ice-cream together and she started to tell me about her problems at home. After that, I was able to give her support and encouragement enough for her to find joy in her calling again. It didn't work out in the long-term - she ended up leaving her husband. But, at least, for the period of time that she held that calling, we were able to do a really good job of it. I'd like to think I was able to ease her troubles a bit.

So, yeah, these types of things are just another one of those exercises where we can apply service to our fellowmen.

So, I always believe in high expectations. When it is not met, then I can be quick to notice the needs of my fellow members instead of having less than high expectations and be ignorant of what is ailing those I'm in contact with.

[Dove]

I'm not so interested in setting my expectations on other people, so much as what I expect from myself.... Growing up in the church has given me a perspective of seeing anywhere from people not doing their calling at all and lying that they were (my former visiting teacher) to people who did all they could and excelled at their calling (bishops, etc.).

I've found that if I focus on myself and what I can contribute to the work, rather than waiting to see what others are doing, goes a long way in feeling good. Also, there have been so many times when I have felt criticized and downright degraded by my so-called gospel siblings because I wasn't doing what they thought I should be in a calling, even when I was doing my utmost to fulfill the calling... It's an awful feeling, and not in keeping with the Spirit of love I believe should be a part of the experience of church activity~

[beefche]

am i the only one thinking of the lesson from the jonny lingo video?

Did someone mention cows?

[marts1]

Also, there have been so many times when I have felt criticized and downright degraded by my so-called gospel siblings because I wasn't doing what they thought I should be in a calling, even when I was doing my utmost to fulfill the calling... It's an awful feeling, and not in keeping with the Spirit of love I believe should be a part of the experience of church activity~

This is one of the more difficult offenses to forgive for me and yet we read that if we don't forgive this, the greater sin lies within us.

[Guest mormonmusic]

Moo.

[john doe]

The referenced statements were in response to someone who became frustrated to the point of anger at aiming high and never even getting close to their intended target. In those types of cases, a dose of reality is needed. You can't realistically expect a Dodge Neon to run a quarter mile in less than a minute. You need to realize it just isn't what Dodge Neons do with regularity. If you want to go faster, you need to rebadge it and drop in a bigger, better, more reliable engine and drivetrain.

[Hemidakota]

Did someone mention cows?

Here I thought, she was a 10-cow woman.

[Hemidakota]

The referenced statements were in response to someone who became frustrated to the point of anger at aiming high and never even getting close to their intended target. In those types of cases, a dose of reality is needed. You can't realistically expect a Dodge Neon to run a quarter mile in less than a minute. You need to realize it just isn't what Dodge Neons do with regularity. If you want to go faster, you need to rebadge it and drop in a bigger, better, more reliable engine and drivetrain.

Consider I drive a 450-fwHP Neon, I expect to run the quarter faster than that.

[NeuroTypical]

As an interesting thought exercise, try re-reading this thread while thinking about how to deal with child sexual predators. There are a surprising amount of posts that I believe still offer completely valid advice. (At least I found it surprising.)

LM

[Dove]

This is one of the more difficult offenses to forgive for me and yet we read that if we don't forgive this, the greater sin lies within us.

Hello, Marts 1~

Yeah, you've hit a sorrow for me. One of the biggest obstacles for me in becoming fully active (keeping the WoW, paying tithing, etc.,) is how persecuted I have felt by other members throughout the years.

I have been praying to forgive anybody and everybody I need to in order to come to a peace again. A friend of mine recently said that sometimes the point is not to even forgive as much as it is to simply let go. That helped me some.... I still feel forgiveness is a crucial part of letting go. Emotional honesty about what happened really helps me in the process of doing this. I have felt so rejected by other church members throughout the years that at this point I really struggle with even desiring to come back into full gospel fellowship.... I believe it's a work in progress..

Thanks for your perspective

Dove