Backroads Posted January 6, 2013 Report Share Posted January 6, 2013 (edited) I have only seen one display of affection at church that bothered me. In my old single's ward, a couple was full-on making out with the arms and the feeling up during sacrament meeting. It's not uncommon for me to rub my husband's back during sacrament meeting, though. He is usually pushing himself past a normal point of energy and tends to fall asleep if he sits still for five minutes, so it helps keep him awake. Edited January 6, 2013 by Backroads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pooter1 Posted January 6, 2013 Report Share Posted January 6, 2013 Ok at church today I did some spying to see who was getting a massage.It was EVERYWHERE!!! lol My thought was lds have the lowest divorce rate this must be why. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 This is so funny! I think it may be a matter of perspective, as well. My family usually sits in the overflow area because Gwen thinks she's a banshee monkey when it's nap time, so it's easier to take her out into the hall. Last week we sat in the middle of the chapel to get ready for the earlier meeting time change this year and omgoish I could not believe all the touching around me. It was like everyone was leaning against each other or rubbing backs or children sitting on laps or whispering. You just don't see all of this from the back for some reason. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just different I was reading your first couple of sentences, and when you said "sits in the overflow area because Gwen thinks she's a banshee monkey", I was thinking, "what? you know Gwen? She acts like a banshee monkey?" Then, I realized you weren't talking about "our" lds.net Gwen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 The Gwen I know drops like a rock at naptime and snores more like a Mack truck. Must be something about the name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm saying this totally tongue in cheek so please don't take it the wrong way. I wish all signs of PDA would stop. No more back scratching. No more holding hands. It's only because I'm envious that I don't have someone to show some PDA with at church. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Shamar will agree to go to church with you one of these days. Don't give up hope yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm saying this totally tongue in cheek so please don't take it the wrong way. I wish all signs of PDA would stop. No more back scratching. No more holding hands.It's only because I'm envious that I don't have someone to show some PDA with at church. :)Try rubbing the back of the guy next to you and see what happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Unless it quiets down the 2 yr old when she is screaming "I wanna go play - I wanna go play". Okay I'll concede to that one. But rubbing a 2 year olds feet would be much different than massaging someones feet who is 32. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DeborahC Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I think it depends on the nature of the backrub. There are backrubs, and then there are BACKRUBS! And there's a whole range of difference between them, and what is appropriate or not. Could you send a video? ::chuckling:: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star_ Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 · Hidden Hidden I can understand how people can get distracted by a back rub. In the past I was apart from my spouse for several months due to work. I remember sitting in sacrament meetings and getting distracted by back rubs. It was more of a reminder that my spouse was not sitting right next to me. My feelings of loneliness increased. At the same time, it also reminded me we would be together again. I am grateful for those experiences, they only made me more grateful to be reunited again. So, I can understand how a widow or recently divorced person or a parent that just lost a child might feel. l know how loneliness can be intensified by watching a back rub between family members. I think appropriate PDA at church is fine. It is sweet. It is loving. It is your family. The spirit is near.Those that have an issue with it (even an understandable issue) need to work through it. Life is too short to be a bitter stone, especially with your own family. If the bishop keeps staring because a pair have ducked down below the pews, that might be time for a yellow light. More like a red light. :) In all seriousness, I guess a good guide would be... do I feel the spirit? Link to comment
mnn727 Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 We recently had a rather heated discussion on public displays of affection at church in RS. I've never thought it to be a problem but a few sisters thought even giving a spouse s back rub during sacrament was inappropriate and offensive. I often give my hubby a quick kiss before going to class and have seen others do the same. Thoughts?DW and I always kiss before she goes off to teach Primary and I go to class. -- No tongue though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I have to ask my daughter (8 years old) to give my back a good scratch because my wife doesnt want to distract anyone. I have to make a deal that I will scratch my daughters back after she is done with mine however. :) My wifes reluctance comes from others in the ward who seem to get a little crazy with rubbing the back of the neck and using fingernails on the back of the head. Seems they are enjoying it a little too much. She doesnt want to be like that. When I do get her to scratch the old back, it is usually pretty brief. I mean, who doesnt love a good back scratch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Okay I'll concede to that one. But rubbing a 2 year olds feet would be much different than massaging someones feet who is 32. :)Less smelly at least Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevieb Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 my hubby is a tire man--and has some lower back trouble sometimes----so he appreciates a back rub or a good scratch when he itches-----when his back itches. In the first few years we had been married, we were both speaking in church, and had to trade places at the pulpit---without thinking, because it was common for us at the time, we gave a quick peck on the lips as we passed----I just didn't stop to think about the fact that we were at the front of the chapel right close to the pulpit!! nobody complained Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 I think we should go back to discussing knitting in church.... or crocheting. It is a temple altar cloth afterall. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetorian_Brow Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Mind your own business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Mind your own business.Or lean over and whisper, "Hey, can I get in on some of that good stuff?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talisyn Posted January 9, 2013 Report Share Posted January 9, 2013 The Gwen I know drops like a rock at naptime and snores more like a Mack truck.Must be something about the name.you know my toddler! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mannisue Posted January 9, 2013 Report Share Posted January 9, 2013 I'm afraid that if back-rubbing or hand-holding was ever truly frowned upon at church and my husband actually started going with me, they'd have to excommunicate me. I couldn't stop touching, just to make sure he was really, truly there, and that I wasn't just dreaming... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddenex Posted January 9, 2013 Report Share Posted January 9, 2013 I going to go out on a limb here and say, If I began rubbing the shoulders of our Bishop during sacrament, that this is probably inappropriate PDA. Or if I leaned over and he began scratching my back... that this wouldn't be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevieb Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 speaking of the temple altar cloth-------i was in the temple once and we were waiting--could have been when one of my twins got married last year---I kept trying to adjust the crocheted altar covering so that it would hang just right, and evenly. One of the older men told us something to the effect that the women would not let them touch the altar cloths. I thought this was so funny---men don't always seem to notice whether or not something is hanging straight---and I guess the women didn't want them to mess it up! I have really enjoyed the times when I have been in the temple when things have been a little more relaxed and the workers had time to answer questions and make comments. obviously, this would not be during a regular endowment session. The last time I went to do sealings, one the temple workers doing the sealings had been my bishop and my stake president, my neighbor, my doctor--had delivered my first two children, adn I had grown up at his house---my oldest daughter is named after his daughter. I had a question about something, so while people were switching places, I asked, and he took the time to answer me, and he stopped for a minute and said how nice it was to see several young couples taking the time to come and do this work (I had come without my husband, carpooling with one of the young couples) I pointed out to him that I wasn't so young--and he just smiled and said he had known me since i was young. I believe there is a time when we need to be very reverent, but i also believe that God has a sense of humor, and that he likes it when we can respectfully take a few minutes to ask questions and feel companionship in the temple, in the appropriate places. I also so think God really cares if we rub our husband's sore backs while they sit un a bench that might be less than comfortable for some---I'm sure he'd rather they were there getting their back rubbed instead of staying home because the bench made them too uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevieb Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 I meant I think God doesn't really care if we rub our husband's sore back---sheeesh wish I could type Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilyBelle00 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Kevieb, I liked it better the first way. I think God does care that we rub our husband's backs. I think he wants us to be affectionate towards each other. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Kevieb, I liked it better the first way. I think God does care that we rub our husband's backs. I think he wants us to be affectionate towards each other. :)Agreed, but during Sacrament meeting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 I think the key part in all this is discretion. Given you're not violating Church standards, be discreet and courteous to those around you, that's not much to ask. If you're giving your spouse a full-on back massage and he or she is purring from sheer delight - that's not being discreet or courteous to those sat behind you.There is a time and place for all things (most things, I should say). Dedicating one hour in Sacrament Meeting and a couple hours thereafter in classes, maintaining reverence and respect for others, is doable! Yes, kids get noisy but if they continue to be unruly after several verbal promptings - remove them! If you're typically an "uncovered" breastfeeding mama (I was), consider using a cover to nurse during Sacrament Meeting or use the Mummy's room if you don't want to do that. I never used a cover while breastfeeding - never - but in church I was discreet and made sure my breast was not a distraction for anyone, and my baby was still fed on the spot whenever she was fussy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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