No refreshments allowed in baptisms?

[Guest]

So, we have a wonderful thing happening in our ward... this teen-age friend of my son who has been part of our ward for over a year but is not a member because his mom won't give him permission... is finally getting baptized! Yes! I don't know what changed his mom's mind but she finally gave permission!!!

Anyway, we are all a-titter with excitement and because he is basically on his own on this, all his friends are helping him get things prepared. Everything is all set, interviews completed, jumpsuit ready, programme ready, and refreshment sign up sheet filled up.

And the RS President who is new to our ward put a halt on the sign-up. She said refreshments are not allowed at baptisms!

I've never heard of such a thing. Yes, I've attended baptisms where there was no refreshments but I always just assumed that the family didn't want it. Most baptisms in our ward have refreshments (usually through sign-up sheets) so we can have something to munch on as we fellowship after the baptism.

So, is our ward an oddball on this? Is this a church policy that I just never knew about? If yes, what's the reasoning behind it?

[Guest]

We have refreshments, but usually they're officially "after" the baptism, not as part of the baptism, and either at the family's home or somewhere else. 

 

Maybe you could host something.

[Bini]

I would host something afterwards at your home where those that want to further visit and welcome the new member, can. Personally, I am not a fan of refreshments or potlucks at get togethers because it's the perfect breeding ground for spreading sickies, especially, when you don't know how food was prepared in the privacy of others' homes. I'm not sure about other wards, but I know my parents' ward put a stop on potlucks and refreshments hosted at church because of food handling issues.

[Leah]

When I was baptized in 2011, there was cake after my baptism at the stake center.

Are they worried someone is actually going to want to use the kitchen for cooking?

Maybe they have had issues with big messes after refreshments and have decided on a no- refreshment policy?

[Jane_Doe]

Maybe they have had issues with big messes after refreshments and have decided on a no- refreshment policy?

 

This is my guess.

 

If the RS pres. is sticking to her guns on this, I would just host the party at your house Anatass (or someone else's)

[pkstpaul]

It's not the call of the RS President, nor the Bishop, for that matter. It is the Ward Mission Leader who conducts the business of a baptisim. He is a member of the Ward Council.

 

Sometimes we have to take a deep breath and remember we are all "volunteers" (okay, not literally and not a point of discussion). The point being leadership in the Church is far from perfect and these things happen.

 

Nobody's going to stand at the door and prevent people from bringing in refreshments. Just be respectful and clean up after. The RS's "policy" might be directed to the 8 yr olds. Even so, drinks get spilled on other events. Baptism is even more important than a social.

 

Regardless of policy, I see it as a great opportunity for someone to host a reception, as was mentioned by others.

 

I know my response is all over the board. To answer your question, I've never heard of such a thing, but I would avoid conflict and find an alternative.

Edited April 23, 2015 by pkstpaul

[The Folk Prophet]

Yeah...where does the RS pres think she has the authority to state any such thing? A bishop, sure (whereas pkstpaul points out it's run by the ward mission leader -- the WML acts under the authority of the bishop...so...).

 

I'd just ask the bishop about it and if he supports her, whatever. It's not like treats make or break what matters about the event. :)

[Crypto]

The baptismal ceremony shouldn't be a social party, I don't see a problem with a few refreshments though. Celebrating the fact someone is baptized is perfectly appropriate, i'd say it's something better suited at a home though. imo

Edited April 23, 2015 by Crypto

[Just_A_Guy]

Yeah...where does the RS pres think she has the authority to state any such thing? A bishop, sure (whereas pkstpaul points out it's run by the ward mission leader -- the WML acts under the authority of the bishop...so...).

I'd just ask the bishop about it and if he supports her, whatever. It's not like treats make or break what matters about the event. :)

One caveat: certainly the RS Pres has say in what kind of sign-up sheets get passed around in the Sunday meeting over which she presides. She can't keep the refreshments out of the building; but I think it would be ill-advised to ask the RS to formally assume responsibility for the food now that the Pres has demurred (individuals who happen to be in the RS--sure; but not the organization itself).

And, yeah--not a bad idea to double-check with the bishop to make sure that the RS President isn't actually repeating something she recently heard in Ward Council.)

Edited April 23, 2015 by Just_A_Guy

[pkstpaul]

I'll conceed the point. I was thinking in terms of the baptism itself. The bishop cannot deny the baptism.

 

It all seems so silly. Why would the RS frustrate the situation? Something that should be special becomes a point of contention; over something like cookie crumbs and spilled punch. Spiritual should trump temporal.

[pkstpaul]

... either at the family's home or somewhere else. 

 

 

We set up a room in the Primary wing.

[The Folk Prophet]

One caveat: certainly the RS Pres has say in what kind of sign-up sheets get passed around in the Sunday meeting over which she presides.

 

Was going to say as much but...I........didn't.....................so...............................  Thanks. :)

[Palerider]

We have not served refreshments at a convert baptism in quite some time now. The purpose was to end the baptism service within 45 minutes so the person could leave the building feeling the Spirit that was there during the service. If it's a baptism of record the party is on.

[pam]

Every baptism I have attended over the last few years, refreshments were served at someone's house and not at the church.  

[Anddenex]

As the title suggest "in baptisms" -- no refreshments wouldn't be good to see someone with a cupcake in hand as they enter the water 

[Backroads]

The only time I've seen refreshments served at a church (post event rather than some church party) is in my in-laws' ward in the middle of nowhere. Then again, they seem to use that building for everything. Shoxked my parents when they attended my brother-in-law's farewell and post-sacrement the ward pulled a full potluck out of nowhere. otherwise these things seem to relocate to a home.

[classylady]

I can't think of any baptisms where we have had refreshments at the church.  Any get-together afterwards have been done at a home.  It seems to be the responsibility of the family for refreshments, not the Relief Society.

 

Just remembered that with my granddaughter's baptism, my son did have the refreshments in the Primary room as his home was too small to host all the family and friends.  We used the kitchen, but this had nothing to do with Relief Society.

[lagarthaaz]

I don't see anything wrong with having refreshments after a baptismal service at church. People often have other places to go on Saturday mornings (when most of our baptisms happen) so it's nice to keep the service and the refreshments at the same place. My ward often has refreshments for after the baptism - usually just some cake, sandwiches and juice. People who are attending just bring a small plate of food, or the family provide it.  They set a table up just outside the baptism room and the refreshments aren't brought out until after the baptismal service is over. If it's for a child, they often receive gift bags from various people and congratulations. It's a lovely way to end the service, particularly for children and adults who don't have family members in the church.  Some families do choose to have their refreshments at their home instead.

 

The RS President sounds like a refreshment Grinch...I'd have food anyway (she doesn't run the building!), too bad if she doesn't like it. As long as it's cleaned up afterwards there shouldn't be a problem. 

[Guest]

No worries. I got it straightened out with the RS President. She came from a ward where they were strict on "no refreshments after baptisms". The reasoning was so that people come for the baptism and not for the food. Or something like that. I didn't really understand it and it was a quick conversation. Anyway, she thought that was true for all wards so when I told her we've always had refreshments she said, oh, then let's have refreshments!

She's a really awesome woman. I love her. I was talking to her while she was traveling from Boston after completing the Boston Marathon.

[pam]

I think it also depends on the area you live in.  Growing up in San Diego we had refreshments because usually there were only 2-3 kids getting baptized on the monthly baptism day.  Even at the stake level of organization for it.

 

Now living in Utah, when it is on a stake level and you have 6-8 wards having children baptized the number is vastly increased.  I was our ward activities chairman for awhile and our ward was the ward in charge of the building for 2 years.  I did all of the scheduling for the building.  Now try to throw in that each ward wanted a room to have their own little refreshment activity.  It got to be that a great part of the building was being used and causing a lot of work for the Primary Presidency of the ward hosting for that month.

 

It wasn't the responsibility of the hosting ward to have refreshments.  Their assignment was to have programs, speakers, music and to make sure the font was filled and baptismal clothes picked up and taken home to be washed afterwards.

[Blackmarch]

So, we have a wonderful thing happening in our ward... this teen-age friend of my son who has been part of our ward for over a year but is not a member because his mom won't give him permission... is finally getting baptized! Yes! I don't know what changed his mom's mind but she finally gave permission!!!

Anyway, we are all a-titter with excitement and because he is basically on his own on this, all his friends are helping him get things prepared. Everything is all set, interviews completed, jumpsuit ready, programme ready, and refreshment sign up sheet filled up.

And the RS President who is new to our ward put a halt on the sign-up. She said refreshments are not allowed at baptisms!

I've never heard of such a thing. Yes, I've attended baptisms where there was no refreshments but I always just assumed that the family didn't want it. Most baptisms in our ward have refreshments (usually through sign-up sheets) so we can have something to munch on as we fellowship after the baptism.

So, is our ward an oddball on this? Is this a church policy that I just never knew about? If yes, what's the reasoning behind it?

while i can see that in the baptism room and chapel.. i don't see why you can't have any in the cultural hall (or outside if the weather is nice) after the concluding prayers.

[Palerider]

If I were the Bishopmof a ward .... I would discourage refreshments after a Convert Baptism. Just my opinion.

[dahlia]

I spoke at a convert baptism last Saturday. I was surprised that there were no refreshments, but thought maybe because ti was in the evening and people would want to go home. I've been to most of the convert baptisms in my ward over the past few years and they always had food - but then, they were always during the day, so ...

[Guest]

If I were the Bishopmof a ward .... I would discourage refreshments after a Convert Baptism. Just my opinion.

For what reason, Bishop Pale?

[Palerider]

For what reason, Bishop Pale?

From the training I received as a Bishop with Mission President. He asked all of us not to serve refreshments following a baptism. He wanted the convert to leave the baptism at the end remembering the feeling they had from being Baptised. I have bought into that since the day I heard it. Just my opinion.