Funeral music help

[Guest]

Someone close to me lost an adult daughter to suicide this week. Obviously, the situation is tragic and sad. Further complicated is the fact that this daughter was pretty anti-religion, but her parents are strong and faithful members of the church. She was a single mother of one teenage boy.

 

I'm going to be putting together much of the music for the funeral. I'm finding it to be a very difficult task. The nature of the situation is so sensitive. Many at the service will not be believers, but her family who are believers are relying heavily on their faith to get through this time. It will be held in an LDS chapel and her father who is a bishop might preside? I'm not sure how that works.

 

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone might have good hymn/song suggestions. I'm looking for a good arrangement of Be Still, My Soul for duet or trio or maybe solo, but past that, I'm really having a tough time. 

 

(I'd rather not this thread be a debate or scholarly discussion about suicide, if you all don't mind. Please save that for another time.)

[hagoth]

I don't know what kind of music is recommended by church guidelines, but based on reading your post carefully, this is the first song that came to mind.

 

[hagoth]

So sorry for the loss of one so close to you. May your friends' family find comfort and reassurance from whatever music is chosen for the service.

Edited August 30, 2015 by hagoth

[char713]

Lead Kindly Light, perhaps? I love that hymn and find it very soothing, even when I don't want to be soothed. 

 

Are you looking for any instrumental song ideas, or just ones to be sung?

 

So sorry for your loss, I hope the plans come together smoothly and that her family are able to find the comfort they so need.

[Iggy]

When we had the memorial service for my MIL half the people were LDS the other half were not. We chose music that was straight out of the hymnal - plus three of the sisters who are also members of the local Sweet Adelines, sang a song as a tribute to her. Our Bishop wasn't going to allow it, then the Stake President stepped in and said that it was okay.

Hubby went to school from 3rd to 12th grade with the Stake President and all of his family. 

 

The music is really for the family - and since it is being played in the LDS Meetinghouse Chapel there are rules to follow.

https://www.lds.org/music/index/hymns/topic?lang=eng#d  scroll down to funeral. 

 

Since her father is a Bishop, ask him what he and his wife would like to hear.

 

At my sisters memorial, our youngest brothers children (four ranging in age from 11 to 6) sang A Child's Prayer, https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/a-childs-prayer?lang=eng  A Cappella. That primary song was my sister's all time favorite.  note: she served in Primary for over 30 years. With no breaks. 

 

 

 

[Connie]

Not sure if you've searched this site yet but here ya go:  http://freeldssheetmusic.org/Be_Still,_My_Soul

 

I've never yet had to be in charge of music for a funeral but i have had to play the organ and help with musical numbers before. I have found the hymns listed under the topic "funeral" and related topics in the index to be helpful for prelude/postlude. Not sure if that helps at all with your difficult task. I wish you good luck.

Edited August 30, 2015 by Connie

[Just_A_Guy]

I'm a big fan of "Each Life that Touches Ours for Good".

[Palerider]

Someone close to me lost an adult daughter to suicide this week. Obviously, the situation is tragic and sad. Further complicated is the fact that this daughter was pretty anti-religion, but her parents are strong and faithful members of the church. She was a single mother of one teenage boy.

 

I'm going to be putting together much of the music for the funeral. I'm finding it to be a very difficult task. The nature of the situation is so sensitive. Many at the service will not be believers, but her family who are believers are relying heavily on their faith to get through this time. It will be held in an LDS chapel and her father who is a bishop might preside? I'm not sure how that works.

 

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone might have good hymn/song suggestions. I'm looking for a good arrangement of Be Still, My Soul for duet or trio or maybe solo, but past that, I'm really having a tough time. 

 

(I'd rather not this thread be a debate or scholarly discussion about suicide, if you all don't mind. Please save that for another time.)

My wife and I can relate to this. Some very dear close friends of ours have lost two sons to suicide. This family has always been active church members and they are still active to this day. They have two daughters both married and active and one son who will soon be married. He is in his 40's or late 30's and he is not active. Their two boys who they lost were also not active in church. Just devastating and emotionally hard times they went thru and still go thru. They both suffered from depression and other than their family no one knew

[Guest]

Thanks so much for all of your help and suggestions. I had a sweet meeting with her today and with your help I think we have a nice program planned.

[Bini]

So sorry.

 

Not knowing details limits my contribution, but if the family isn't opposed, perhaps consider talking to the daughter's closest friends regarding a song that was special/sentimental to her in life? I wouldn't worry too much about including Christian hymns at a funeral service, especially, since part of the service will be inside an LDS chapel. Saying that, I think it's very thoughtful to think about the people in the daughter's circle of friendship, and trying to be sensitive to the fact that the daughter was a non-believer and likely surrounded herself with like-minded friends. But really, atheists/agnostics aren't all bitter, I know that there were groups that sent their condolences to the victims' families of the tragic church shooting not so long ago. I believe it was done out of sincerity. The point of the occasion is to bring those together who loved this individual, and hopefully despite differences, each side can weep together and maybe find some closure.

[cdowis]

"Amazing Grace" would be very appropriate, and known both in and outside the church.  It would be very consoling in these circumstances.

 

I cry whenever I hear it.

 

https://youtu.be/CDdvReNKKuk?t=49s

Edited August 31, 2015 by cdowis

[cdowis]

Here's another -->>

Eidleweiss is also very touching

 

https://youtu.be/Rt3wBbpOALU?t=20s

 

https://youtu.be/AzvqiF0Sda4

Edited August 31, 2015 by cdowis

[Str8Shooter]

I'm a big fan of "Each Life that Touches Ours for Good".

 

X2

[askandanswer]

Hymn 118 - Ye Simple Souls Who Stray

 

I don't think I've ever heard this sung in church. The music for this hymn is quite powerful.

 

Lyrics

1. 1. Ye simple souls who stray
   Far from the path of peace,
   That lonely, unfrequented way
   To life and happiness,
   Why will ye folly love,
   And throng the downward road,
   And hate the wisdom from above,
   And mock the sons of God?
2. 2. Madness and misery
   Ye count our life beneath,
   And nothing great or good can see
   Or glorious in our death.
   But thru the Holy Ghost
   We witness better things,
   For he whose blood is all our boast
   Has made us priests and kings.
3. 3. Riches unsearchable
   In Jesus' love we know,
   And pleasures springing from the well
   Of life our souls o'erflow.
   As we seek heav'nly bliss,
   Angels our steps attend,
   And God himself our Father is,
   And Jesus is our Friend.
4. 4. With him we walk in white;
   We in his image shine;
   Our robes are robes of glorious light,
   Our righteousness divine.
   On all the kings of earth
   With pity we look down
   And claim, in virtue of our birth,
   A never-fading crown.
5. Text: Charles Wesley, 1707-1788, adapted
   Music: Evan Stephens, 1854-1930

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

My two favorite comfort songs might not be appropriate for a funeral, but since it sounds like you have it taken care of already I'll share them (for anyone looking for comfort.

 

Hold On by Michael McLean

 

My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee (by Rob Gardner?)

[Irishcolleen]

Abide With Me would be comforting.

[LadyHanley93]

I am so sorry to hear. May I suggest Carry On Hymn number 255 and Let Us All Press On hymnn number 243. Sorry I am not really good with hymms but I am trying to help.

Edited August 31, 2015 by LadyHanley93

[Guest]

For any curious, here is the list of music numbers:

 

Opening hymn: Each Life That Touches Ours for Good

Musical Number: Goin' Home (based from Dvorak's Largo. One of his pupils wrote some wonderful words to it.)

Musical Number: I Am a Child of God (children)

Musical Number: Be Still, My Soul (may not include this one, still hammering it out)

Closing Hymn: Love At Home (I thought an odd choice at first, but then she told me that the father's non-member family had heard and loved it, and adopted it as kind of a family anthem. Pretty special.)

 

Thanks again for all your thoughts. 

[Blackmarch]

Someone close to me lost an adult daughter to suicide this week. Obviously, the situation is tragic and sad. Further complicated is the fact that this daughter was pretty anti-religion, but her parents are strong and faithful members of the church. She was a single mother of one teenage boy.

 

I'm going to be putting together much of the music for the funeral. I'm finding it to be a very difficult task. The nature of the situation is so sensitive. Many at the service will not be believers, but her family who are believers are relying heavily on their faith to get through this time. It will be held in an LDS chapel and her father who is a bishop might preside? I'm not sure how that works.

 

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone might have good hymn/song suggestions. I'm looking for a good arrangement of Be Still, My Soul for duet or trio or maybe solo, but past that, I'm really having a tough time. 

 

(I'd rather not this thread be a debate or scholarly discussion about suicide, if you all don't mind. Please save that for another time.)

A poor wayfaring man.

Amazing Grace

God be with you till we meet again.

 

[Blackmarch]

For any curious, here is the list of music numbers:

 

Opening hymn: Each Life That Touches Ours for Good

Musical Number: Goin' Home (based from Dvorak's Largo. One of his pupils wrote some wonderful words to it.)

Musical Number: I Am a Child of God (children)

Musical Number: Be Still, My Soul (may not include this one, still hammering it out)

Closing Hymn: Love At Home (I thought an odd choice at first, but then she told me that the father's non-member family had heard and loved it, and adopted it as kind of a family anthem. Pretty special.)

 

Thanks again for all your thoughts. 

diddn't see the last post... looks like a great selection.