estradling75 Posted April 27, 2018 Report Share Posted April 27, 2018 18 minutes ago, JayKi said: If I have to then I just do what my wife wants if I can't convince her. Then if small thing I just do her decision as my own That is kind of our point. Your friend does not appear to have convinced her husband that having you as a friend is ok... So by your own logic and reasoning she should have cut you out. She has not done so. You as an outsider to their marriage can not fix their communication issue. You can only control you.. But you as a good friend and a respecter of marriage can do what your friend is unable/unwilling to do, you can remove yourself from her life, because that is controlling you, and you have all the power in the world when it comes to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 27, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2018 42 minutes ago, estradling75 said: That is kind of our point. Your friend does not appear to have convinced her husband that having you as a friend is ok... So by your own logic and reasoning she should have cut you out. She has not done so. You as an outsider to their marriage can not fix their communication issue. You can only control you.. But you as a good friend and a respecter of marriage can do what your friend is unable/unwilling to do, you can remove yourself from her life, because that is controlling you, and you have all the power in the world when it comes to you. I spoke to my mother and fiancee and they told me do this thing to be kind and they worry I be misunderstood so I just decide to take their advice. Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost Boy Posted April 27, 2018 Report Share Posted April 27, 2018 12 hours ago, JayKi said: I spoke to my mother and fiancee and they told me do this thing to be kind and they worry I be misunderstood so I just decide to take their advice. That would be good. You may miss out on some immediate fun, but in the long run you will be happier. JayKi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted April 27, 2018 Report Share Posted April 27, 2018 14 hours ago, JayKi said: I spoke to my mother and fiancee and they told me do this thing to be kind and they worry I be misunderstood so I just decide to take their advice. Not sure what you mean. So not buying a plane ticket for the princess? If so, good idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 27, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2018 34 minutes ago, Sunday21 said: Not sure what you mean. So not buying a plane ticket for the princess? If so, good idea! No she still come to my wedding I already buy her ticket and my family want to meet her. I just tell her I can't hangout with her until my fiancee live with me then we all be friend together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Posted April 28, 2018 Report Share Posted April 28, 2018 @JayKi I am glad you figured out the right thing to do. Hopefully you will get your temple recommend back in time for your wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Karma Posted April 28, 2018 Report Share Posted April 28, 2018 On 4/24/2018 at 9:19 AM, JayKi said: I think it is okay we only go for lunch together or to the cinema, sometimes shopping. We don't hang out in private places most of the time. Her husband should get over it, she can be friends with who she choose, he can't control her life. Wow, did I just read what I thought I read? Oh man, I think I've got nothing good to say in response that are within the terms or service and code of conduct. I'm not feeling particularly Christ like at the moment. Wow... Just wow..... Keep on keeping on, buddy. I'm outta here. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted April 28, 2018 Report Share Posted April 28, 2018 On 4/26/2018 at 7:12 PM, estradling75 said: You as an outsider to their marriage can not fix their communication issue. Well, maybe not legally in most countries. (Off to google the laws regarding brainwashing in various places.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted April 28, 2018 Report Share Posted April 28, 2018 On 4/25/2018 at 6:02 PM, Suzie said: That's flirty in ANY language brother. Only when you apply YOUR cultural views to EVERYONE ELSE'S culture. (Back to Google...the human mind is an interesting, if somewhat fragile thing. Lots of details to this. Might be busy for a while.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashmore Posted April 28, 2018 Report Share Posted April 28, 2018 On 4/24/2018 at 12:06 PM, JayKi said: Do you think I should tell her I can't hang out with you even though you want to because your husband don't like it ? Yes. Once upon a time, I had a best friend. We did what you and your friend do. Regular texts, going to lunch, shopping, etc. He started dating a girl who did not get along well with me. She intentionally twisted things I said and slandered me to mutual friends (who, unfortunately, believed her without even getting my side of the story, and ended up proved themselves as fair weather friends). My friend and I would still text or email each other funny things, inside jokes, or support during hard times. Eventually, not long after they got married, I realized that if I were to maintain a friendship with him, his relationship with me (as a friend) would end up being something that strained their marriage. I wanted my friend to be happy and not have a strained marriage even more than I wanted to be friends with him. I haven't texted or emailed him in over a year. If this woman is truly a friend, someone you care about and would like to have all of the happiness that a celestial life can afford, you need to respect her marriage and back off. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted April 29, 2018 Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 (edited) On 4/24/2018 at 11:50 AM, JayKi said: I dont live in the US please I wouldn't live there. Why American think every hispanic want to live in their country. We can't even keep the Asians out and there's a huge ocean in their way. Now, as to fixing their marriage, do you happen to know if he has any unreasonably intense fears, or what the most significant traumatic events in his life have been? Also, do you have any practical experience at waterboarding? Edited April 29, 2018 by NightSG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2018 Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 On 4/24/2018 at 12:19 PM, zil said: Apparently we need a woman in here to explain one of the risks involved in this, so... While you may not ever have felt any sexual attraction to this woman, it is almost guaranteed that unless you're kinda disgusting, the more time she spends enjoying herself with you rather than with her husband (RED FLAG), the more likely it is that she will begin to (a) complain about her husband to you (RED ALERT! RED ALERT!), (b) rely on you for comfort (THE SHIP IS SINKING!), (c) start to feel attracted to you (DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!), and (d) fall in love with you (AND SATAN REJOICES). This then risks exceedingly dangerous things for you, for her, for her husband, and for the woman you intend to marry; also for any children involved, and other family members. I want to frame this paragraph in a gold matte. Then I'll put it over my mantle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted April 29, 2018 Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 4 minutes ago, Carborendum said: I want to frame this paragraph in a gold matte. Then I'll put it over my mantle. I once heard a quote (don't remember who said it, can't remember the exact words) that was something like: "There's nothing a man finds more attractive than a woman in love with him." If this is remotely or occasionally accurate, it makes such situations as I described even more dangerous. The man isn't attracted, neither is the woman, but the nature of the relationship (if it follows the predictable path) is such that the woman will fall in love with him. Then, if the saying happens to be accurate, the man starts finding the woman attractive and suddenly the "we're just friends" bit becomes that song by Kenny Loggins1. 1Yes, you may all cringe now at the reference. (Memory jogging in progress, please hold..... "For The First Time".) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2018 Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 2 hours ago, zil said: I once heard a quote (don't remember who said it, can't remember the exact words) that was something like: "There's nothing a man finds more attractive than a woman in love with him." If this is remotely or occasionally accurate, it makes such situations as I described even more dangerous. The man isn't attracted, neither is the woman, but the nature of the relationship (if it follows the predictable path) is such that the woman will fall in love with him. Then, if the saying happens to be accurate, the man starts finding the woman attractive and suddenly the "we're just friends" bit becomes that song by Kenny Loggins1. 1Yes, you may all cringe now at the reference. (Memory jogging in progress, please hold..... "For The First Time".) What the heck happened to his beard? I mean, I realize he shaved. But his beard was part of his trademark look. Why did he shave? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted April 29, 2018 Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 13 minutes ago, Carborendum said: What the heck happened to his beard? I mean, I realize he shaved. But his beard was part of his trademark look. Why did he shave? My co-dispatcher in Moscow could have been Kenny Loggins' twin (almost) - beard and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 15 hours ago, NightSG said: We can't even keep the Asians out and there's a huge ocean in their way. I won't live in America anyway is too racist and I love Costa Rica 15 hours ago, NightSG said: Now, as to fixing their marriage, do you happen to know if he has any unreasonably intense fears, or what the most significant traumatic events in his life have been? Also, do you have any practical experience at waterboarding? I don't understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2018 On 28/04/2018 at 1:53 AM, Lee said: @JayKi I am glad you figured out the right thing to do. Hopefully you will get your temple recommend back in time for your wedding. I got it back Apparently being friend with someone isn't a reason to lose temple recommend. I go celebrate tomorrow in nail salon. Sunday21 and lostinwater 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Karma Posted April 30, 2018 Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 3 hours ago, JayKi said: I won't live in America anyway is too racist and I love Costa Rica Awesome man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 50 minutes ago, Bad Karma said: Awesome man! Case in point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grunt Posted April 30, 2018 Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 4 hours ago, JayKi said: I won't live in America anyway is too racist and I love Costa Rica I don't understand Where in America did you visit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Karma Posted April 30, 2018 Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 11 minutes ago, JayKi said: Case in point "Racist".... Define, please.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 33 minutes ago, Grunt said: Where in America did you visit? I went to visit in Texas some family of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted April 30, 2018 Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 (edited) 11 minutes ago, JayKi said: I went to visit in Texas some family of mine. So, you are calling all of America "racist" because you've visited....one state. Edited April 30, 2018 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKi Posted April 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 1 minute ago, MormonGator said: So, you are calling all of America "racist" because you've visited....one state. Is a little that but also what I been told by friends of mine who live in America or still live there. Also, what I read and American I meet not in America. I don't say all is racist but there too much for me to want to live there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted April 30, 2018 Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 Just now, JayKi said: Is a little that but also what I been told by friends of mine who live in America or still live there. Also, what I read and American I meet not in America. I don't say all is racist but there too much for me to want to live there Oh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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