Do you think this is acceptable to do with fiancee?

[JayKi]

My fiancee and I are going to be marry on next Saturday. This Saturday she want to do traditional ritual for her ethnic background, is translate to blanket I think. Is just mean that we sleep together on floor next to bed with sharing blanket for one night we can hold hand or hug but we stay connect. Is to show our devotion to be uncomfortable but stay together. Then on Sunday morning I serenade her  and come back in evening to sleep in bed with her. I know is okay to sleep next to her but I feel guilty to do this. But i want show my devotion to my fiancee. Do you think is okay to do ?

[Jane_Doe]

That is a conversation to have a with the your soon-to-be-wife and older/wiser LDS folks familiar with this culture.  Coming from an American perspective... I think majority of American man who would horribly tempted with this.  

You could also find a middle ground like showing up crazy early Saturday morning, sing your heart out, and then give her a blanket for that night.  

[zil]

One night on the floor, touching each other all night.  Then the next night, get in a bed, alone together, and stay there all night.  All before you're married.  Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.  I know everyone likes to think they're strong enough to resist temptation, but that seems like a pointless risk to take given how many clearly aren't, and the fact that you really can't know until it's too late.

[JayKi]

9 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

That is a conversation to have a with the your soon-to-be-wife and older/wiser LDS folks familiar with this culture.  Coming from an American perspective... I think majority of American man who would horribly tempted with this.  

You could also find a middle ground like showing up crazy early Saturday morning, sing your heart out, and then give her a blanket for that night.  

My fiancee want to. I dont have LDS family from that culture also. My fiancee is different ethnicity from me we have slight different culture. 

[Guest MormonGator]

24 minutes ago, JayKi said:

 I feel guilty to do this. 

It sounds like a super cool tradition,  but if you feel guilty to do something before you even did it, than don't do it. 

[Jane_Doe]

1 minute ago, JayKi said:

My fiancee want to. I dont have LDS family from that culture also. My fiancee is different ethnicity from me we have slight different culture. 

It sounds like a HUGE temptation.  My knee jerk reaction is... why risk tripping at the finish line?  

(Note: I'm coming from American culture here.  Totally bias). 

Edited July 12, 2018 by Jane_Doe

[JayKi]

3 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

It sounds like a super cool tradition,  but if you feel guilty to do something before you even did it, than don't do it. 

I know but I dont want for my fiancee to think I just no want sleep on floor. 

[Jane_Doe]

1 minute ago, JayKi said:

I know but I dont want for my fiancee to think I just no want sleep on floor. 

Haha.  Well, if you're getting married to the lady, I think you can find a way to communicate your real motivations here.

[person0]

2 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I know but I dont want for my fiancee to think I just no want sleep on floor. 

Just tell her that she is so beautiful and physically attractive that if you sleep next to her you don't think you will be able to stop yourself from doing things that are inappropriate.  Tell her that you will gladly sleep on the floor after you are married to do the tradition after you are married.

[zil]

Or, even more awkward than sleeping on the floor alone together - do it with a third party present.  That should put a damper on any temptation.

[JayKi]

21 minutes ago, person0 said:

Just tell her that she is so beautiful and physically attractive that if you sleep next to her you don't think you will be able to stop yourself from doing things that are inappropriate.  Tell her that you will gladly sleep on the floor after you are married to do the tradition after you are married.

I think I will be okay if I sleep with her because I wont want to disrespect the tradition. If I get out of sleeping on floor then I wont do it when married. 

[JayKi]

15 minutes ago, zil said:

Or, even more awkward than sleeping on the floor alone together - do it with a third party present.  That should put a damper on any temptation.

Someone watching me while I sleep sound creepy

[JayKi]

24 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Haha.  Well, if you're getting married to the lady, I think you can find a way to communicate your real motivations here.

I do have side motivation of not wanting to sleep on floor. 

[zil]

Just now, JayKi said:

Someone watching me while I sleep sound creepy

Yeah, creepy enough to ensure neither of you yields to temptation.

[Guest MormonGator]

31 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I know but I dont want for my fiancee to think I just no want sleep on floor. 

I like what @Jane_Doe said. You made it this far. Why put yourself in a position now where you might be tempted to do something sinful? 
 

[JayKi]

16 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

I like what @Jane_Doe said. You made it this far. Why put yourself in a position now where you might be tempted to do something sinful? 
 

I know it make sense. I want to make my fiancee happy and she already show her devotion to me by follow my culture tradition and now I feel bad say no to her culture tradition even though is weird. 

[Just_A_Guy]

Don’t the Amish do something similar?

[Guest MormonGator]

2 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I know it make sense. I want to make my fiancee happy and she already show her devotion to me by follow my culture tradition and now I feel bad say no to her culture tradition even though is weird. 

If you think it'll really insult her then go for it but be careful. Temptation is a funny thing. You can give someone a shot of whiskey and they won't be tempted to drink it, so maybe it's the same way with sexual temptation. 

2 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Don’t the Amish do something similar?

Yes, bed courtship. 

[JayKi]

5 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Don’t the Amish do something similar?

we are no Amish

[Sunday21]

This practice is called bundling https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_(tradition)

[JayKi]

1 minute ago, Sunday21 said:

This practice is called bundling https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_(tradition)

Is no same thing. 

[zil]

You are getting married in the temple, right?  That means she's Mormon too.  Therefore:

Repentance and Change, by Elder Oaks

Quote

The traditions or culture or way of life of a people inevitably include some practices that must be changed by those who wish to qualify for God’s choicest blessings.

...

In these examples I am not contrasting the culture or traditions of one part of the world with another. I am contrasting the Lord’s way with the world’s way—the culture of the gospel of Jesus Christ with the culture or traditions of every nation or people.

...

We say to all, give up your traditions and cultural practices that are contrary to the commandments of God and the culture of His gospel, and join with His people in building the kingdom of God.

...

This requires us to make some changes from our family culture, our ethnic culture, or our national culture. We must change all elements of our behavior that are in conflict with gospel commandments, covenants, and culture.

And he isn't the only one to say things like this.

[JayKi]

31 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

If you think it'll really insult her then go for it but be careful. 

I think I will say we just do sleep on floor for 1 night so I show my devotion . 

[JayKi]

14 minutes ago, zil said:

You are getting married in the temple, right?  That means she's Mormon too.  Therefore:

Repentance and Change, by Elder Oaks

And he isn't the only one to say things like this.

Yes we go for wedding in temple. We also have service in Catholic church at start of day. 

 

is almost impossible to discard you culture 

[Overwatch]

3 hours ago, JayKi said:

My fiancee and I are going to be marry on next Saturday. This Saturday she want to do traditional ritual for her ethnic background, is translate to blanket I think. Is just mean that we sleep together on floor next to bed with sharing blanket for one night we can hold hand or hug but we stay connect. Is to show our devotion to be uncomfortable but stay together. Then on Sunday morning I serenade her  and come back in evening to sleep in bed with her. I know is okay to sleep next to her but I feel guilty to do this. But i want show my devotion to my fiancee. Do you think is okay to do ?

I have an older cousin call me up and sleep over in my room (when I was single) the night before he got sealed in the Temple. He said he needed extra support and wanted to make sure he was all set for his sealing the next morning. They would stay out late dancing at the different dance halls but that night was different. He came home early and got cozy in my cave and passed out. I remember kind of chuckling to myself but now I can see his wisdom. 

JayKi I wouldn't do it but that's just me. The Lord will help her understand you choosing not to.

Edited July 13, 2018 by Overwatch