Promptings in dating

[Ascribed be]

Alright, so backstory: a few years ago I met a girl. When I first met her, I felt a prompting that this was someone I should try to be with, perhaps even marry. I brushed aside the prompting fairly quickly after realizing she was in a relationship already. Fast forward to about 9 months ago, she broke up with her boyfriend and not long after we started going out. We’ve now been dating for about 5 months and it’s awesome! We have gotten really close and we love each other!

So, my question is: do you guys think it would be good to tell her about the prompting I felt the day we first met? On the one hand, it feels like that would be sweet and nice. On the other hand, there are so many stories about men pressuring women by telling them they’ve received revelation to marry them, and I definitely don’t want to be That Guy. I also don’t want her to think that that’s the only reason I’m dating her or something (it’s not, she’s amazing in many ways). 

So: should I tell her about this prompting? If so, what would be a way to mention it that wouldn’t be super weird?

[estradling75]

The thing about promptings is that we can often think they tell us more then they really do.

Your promptings could have been anything from the Lord telling you that you are going to learn some thing from dating her that will preparing for when you do met the right one... To she is the right one.  You need to be careful that you are not assuming more then it was.

Second.  Prompting are communication from God and as such should be treated as sacred.  Sacred things can be shared but we need to be very careful about how we do so.

So the question on should you tell her is a question you should be asking God about.

 

[Latter-Day Marriage]

17 hours ago, Ascribed be said:

So, my question is: do you guys think it would be good to tell her about the prompting I felt the day we first met?

No, no, no. no, no. no, no. no, no. no, no. no, no and no.  Do not tell her, not yet at least.

The night I met my future wife I got whole lot more than just a prompting, I was out and out told she was the one.  The smartest thing I ever did was not breath a word of it to her until AFTER we were engaged.  She needed to find out for herself, without the pressure of knowing what my position was.  There is NO way you could tell her that now without putting her on the spot and you could very likely chase her away.  Don't do it.

Also, being prompted to date somebody doesn't automatically mean she is the one you are going to marry, it just means that dating her is a good thing.  There can be all kinds of reasons for that, one of you may need to learn something from the experience of dating each other in order to be ready for the person they actually will marry for example.  The prompting came to you, not her, and you are not entitled to receive revelation on her behalf so leave it be.  Act on what you know to be true, but don't tell her anything about this unless some day you two are engaged.  By then she will know too and telling her won't put her in an awkward spot.

[Overwatch]

Don't tell her until after you are married. Just my opinion. 

[Manners Matter]

Agree with Overwatch. Keep it to yourself.

[Sunday21]

Agree with Overwatch too! So creepy! So well-used.

[Ascribed be]

Seems reasonable. Thanks guys!

[omegaseamaster75]

On 7/16/2018 at 9:48 PM, Ascribed be said:

So: should I tell her about this prompting? 

No it will come off as creepy

[anatess2]

On 7/17/2018 at 12:48 AM, Ascribed be said:

Alright, so backstory: a few years ago I met a girl. When I first met her, I felt a prompting that this was someone I should try to be with, perhaps even marry. I brushed aside the prompting fairly quickly after realizing she was in a relationship already. Fast forward to about 9 months ago, she broke up with her boyfriend and not long after we started going out. We’ve now been dating for about 5 months and it’s awesome! We have gotten really close and we love each other!

So, my question is: do you guys think it would be good to tell her about the prompting I felt the day we first met? On the one hand, it feels like that would be sweet and nice. On the other hand, there are so many stories about men pressuring women by telling them they’ve received revelation to marry them, and I definitely don’t want to be That Guy. I also don’t want her to think that that’s the only reason I’m dating her or something (it’s not, she’s amazing in many ways). 

So: should I tell her about this prompting? If so, what would be a way to mention it that wouldn’t be super weird?

Yeah.  Don't be THAT GUY.

Promptings are personal.  There's no need to share them unless your prompting impacts people under your priesthood authority or such prompting is a Testimony of Christ.  She's not under your priesthood authority yet.

On the other hand, sharing that prompting puts her under pressure (making her feel that rejecting/leaving you would be on her conscience as rejecting God) and that's either manipulative/creepy/tactless... take your pick.

 

[Ascribed be]

Thanks for the perspective. I can see that it would be creepy and weird to talk about it, for sure. I wasn't thinking clearly when I thought it might be a good thing--hormones or something, lol. I'm not going to tell her about it! Appreciate the responses.

[Latter-Day Marriage]

8 hours ago, Ascribed be said:

Thanks for the perspective. I can see that it would be creepy and weird to talk about it, for sure. I wasn't thinking clearly when I thought it might be a good thing--hormones or something, lol. I'm not going to tell her about it! Appreciate the responses.

Perhaps print this thread out and stick it in your journal to show her when the time comes, or to laugh about it later.