(solved) issue with sister

[milipedefantasies]

I removed the original text as I realise it's more important to protect my sister's privacy, the issue has been somewhat resolved. I urged her to get professional help as she's clearly got some issues. As to how I found out, my sister left her phone on my coffee table and some very explicit texts popped up on her notification screen. I confronted her and she confessed. The procedure was done and she had a contraceptive device put in. She's going to tell her husband after the holidays. 

Edited December 27, 2018 by milipedefantasies
Privacy

[NeuroTypical]

Not sure what you're looking for from us...

[Fether]

16 hours ago, milipedefantasies said:

I know this is a strange topic to bring up in this forum as I'm not LDS, but my Mother is (my father is buddhist/sufist). My sister has been cheating on her husband for a VERY long time. I honestly don't know why they got married if this was the life she wanted to chose. I'm quite liberal and don't mind if friends or family have open relationships as long as they are not hurting other people in the process. Anyhoo, my sister is five months pregnant from one of her flings and told her husband she's getting a surgery to correct a hernia tomorrow. She's almost five months pregnant and is getting the fetus surgically removed. I do not personally have a problem with abortion as I believe it is the womans' right to do with her body as she pleases, but almost five months feels way too late to have a fetus destroyed. I want to tell her husband as he is LDS but I don't want to ruin their marriage. I know she ruined it by having multiple partners outside of marriage but I feel he needs to know. We live in Perth (Australia) if that's helpful to anyone. 

I don’t care what belief you have on diety. If you know someone is cheating on their spouse, you should tell the other spouse. 

[milipedefantasies]

5 hours ago, Fether said:

I don’t care what belief you have on diety. If you know someone is cheating on their spouse, you should tell the other spouse. 

I'm in the same boat, I think I'm going wait until the Holidays are over. 

[seashmore]

10 hours ago, Fether said:

I don’t care what belief you have on diety. If you know someone is cheating on their spouse, you should tell the other spouse. 

I would change one thing: you should encourage the cheater to confess.  Otherwise, you end up in the middle.

[prisonchaplain]

19 hours ago, Fether said:

I don’t care what belief you have on diety. If you know someone is cheating on their spouse, you should tell the other spouse. 

I'm not so sure. If asked, absolutely, the truth must be told. Otherwise, so many questions come to mind. Why tell? What is the purpose of doing so? What relationship does the OP have with brother in law? How long has s/he known of the affairs? How rock solid is the evidence? Does the husband WANT to know? If the baby's life is at issue, is there any chance that the husband could intervene and save baby's life?

I'm not suggesting that the husband not be told. However, whatever decision is made, proceed with caution. @seashmore is right. You could well end up in the middle.

[unixknight]

I'm curious as to how she knows for sure the pregnancy is from one of the flings.  If there's a chance the husband is about to lose his child, he has a right to know.

Edited December 26, 2018 by unixknight

[omegaseamaster75]

On 12/23/2018 at 10:52 PM, milipedefantasies said:

I know this is a strange topic to bring up in this forum as I'm not LDS, but my Mother is (my father is buddhist/sufist). My sister has been cheating on her husband for a VERY long time. I honestly don't know why they got married if this was the life she wanted to chose. I'm quite liberal and don't mind if friends or family have open relationships as long as they are not hurting other people in the process. Anyhoo, my sister is five months pregnant from one of her flings and told her husband she's getting a surgery to correct a hernia tomorrow. She's almost five months pregnant and is getting the fetus surgically removed. I do not personally have a problem with abortion as I believe it is the womans' right to do with her body as she pleases, but almost five months feels way too late to have a fetus destroyed. I want to tell her husband as he is LDS but I don't want to ruin their marriage. I know she ruined it by having multiple partners outside of marriage but I feel he needs to know. We live in Perth (Australia) if that's helpful to anyone. 

Your sister is a monster, I would rat her out. 

[Just_A_Guy]

You tell your sister, “well, after that vasectomy he got last year, I guess you had to do SOMETHING”, and then sit back and watch the fireworks. 

[anatess2]

4 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Your sister is a monster, I would rat her out. 

After you exercise brotherly dominion and smack her upside the head for stupidity.

[NightSG]

On 12/25/2018 at 3:58 AM, seashmore said:

I would change one thing: you should encourage the cheater to confess.  Otherwise, you end up in the middle.

He's going to be in the middle either way.  Guaranteed, she's already justified her behavior in her own mind, and anything that happens will be the fault of everyone else involved.