The Good Old Days

[zil2]

Tripped over a video of Hartman Rector, Jr.'s October 1985 GC talk while scrolling Instagram today (yes, it's possible to see mostly good stuff on Instagram).  Here's the portion he was saying (you can watch it here, starting at 2:45) :

Quote

I learned this lesson from my father at a very early age. My dad was smarter than I was when I was seven years old. Of course, I was smarter than he was when I was seventeen, but that changed later, too. He said to me one time, “You are not big enough to milk the cows.”

Now, I knew I was. I was seven years old, and I knew I could milk the cows. So I proved to him that I could.

My dad said, “You know, I believe you can milk. You’ve got the job.” For the next ten years I milked eight to twelve cows night and morning. You may rest assured I got to the place where I did not want to milk, and once I said to Dad, “Dad, I don’t want to milk.” He said, “That’s all right. You don’t have to want to—as long as you do it.” This seems to be what the Lord says to us at times when the going gets rough and we feel—“I really don’t want to go to the temple,” or “It is inconvenient to pay tithing,” or “I don’t want to go home teaching.” I know for sure that Jonah did not want to go on a mission. But he went.

(Bolding is mine.)  I laughed because it was so familiar.  My parents used to say similar things, especially my dad.  I think it's sad that so many out there seem never to have learned that the universe really doesn't care whether they want to.  Learning to do things you don't want to is an extremely valuable lesson, one every child should learn when they're little - as little as possible and as often as it takes.

(For the record, I never had to milk cows, and I'm glad. )

Edited December 24, 2023 by zil2

[laronius]

25 minutes ago, zil2 said:

Tripped over a video of Hartman Rector, Jr.'s October 1985 GC talk while scrolling Instagram today (yes, it's possible to see mostly good stuff on Instagram).  Here's the portion he was saying (you can watch it here, starting at 2:45😞

(Bolding is mine.)  I laughed because it was so familiar.  My parents used to say similar things, especially my dad.  I think it's sad that so many out there seem never to have learned that the universe really doesn't care whether they want to.  Learning to do things you don't want to is an extremely valuable lesson, one every child should learn when they're little - as little as possible and as often as it takes.

(For the record, I never had to milk cows, and I'm glad. )

That's one of the biggest lessons serving a mission teaches. I don't think I ever actually enjoyed knocking on stranger's door but I sure did a lot of it. 

At some point you have to develop a mindset of willing to do things simply because it's right. 

[mikbone]

That is some good parenting.

Teaching responsibility.  Skilled labor.  Grit.

Oh, are we lacking.

 

Some of the things I learned from residency.

”You gonna learn today.”

“Giddaup”  Usually stated around 2AM…

Excuses are not tolerated here.  You can ask for help, but only if you need it.  And you probably don’t need help if you are clever.

“You could…”  Implying that you probably shouldn’t (due to circumstances that you don’t understand yet and definitely don’t want to experience.)

DNTWTFP - Do not touch with 10’ pole.

Edited December 25, 2023 by mikbone

[askandanswer]

I guess it could make things easier if we learned to love those things we gotta do. Eventually we will all get to that point.

[zil2]

4 hours ago, askandanswer said:

learned to love those things we gotta do.

One of my favorite quotes:

Quote

Once when my lord the Archmage was here with me in the Grove, he said to me he had spent his life learning how to choose to do what he had no choice but to do.

-- Ursula K. LeGuin, The Other Wind

[mikbone]

Another residency lesson - expectation management.

If you are on call and hoping that the ER will be quiet and you schedule 9 holes of golf.  You just hosed yourself.

It will be busy.  You probably wont even get to the golf course.  Or you might, but will likely get an emergency situation while on the second tee.  Which will cause you to be upset.  

I had a colleague who constantly did this to himself.  Always angry that the world was conspiring against him.  Angry that a dumb patient prevented him from living his best life.  You can imagine how considerate that he was to these unfortunate patients.

 

Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success. – David O McKay

Hard work forever pays - Charlie Puth, Cameron Thomaz, Justin Frank, Andrew Cedar. “See You Again.” Atlantic, 2015.

Moses 1:39 This is my work and my glory

John 5:17 But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.
 

 

[Backroads]

I believe it was the film version of "What Dreams May Come" where it was commended that work and jobs existed in heaven. 

And one of my favorite quotes from "Bruce Almighty":

[Ironhold]

I've reached the point in life where younger individuals are asking me what the world was like when I was growing up. 

As I've explained to them, while there are some things about the past I do miss, it was always a mixed bag; we had bad with the good, and so a full return back to the past wouldn't be wise. Better to learn the lessons of the past, preserve the values that have been tested, and move forward. 

[LDSGator]

2 hours ago, Ironhold said:

I've reached the point in life where younger individuals are asking me what the world was like when I was growing up. 

As I've explained to them, while there are some things about the past I do miss, it was always a mixed bag; we had bad with the good, and so a full return back to the past wouldn't be wise. Better to learn the lessons of the past, preserve the values that have been tested, and move forward. 

I totally agree with this. I think nostalgia is a liar. We over romanticize the past and we casually forget that even in the :: blech :: “good old days” (I absolutely hate that phrase) we still had problems, people still complained*, life was not easier…

I could go on for pages about this.  If I’m being totally blunt I think those who live in the past are like those “peaked in high school” types who talk about touchdowns they scored back in the day at the 30 year reunion because they’ve done nothing of merit in the last 30 years! 

* it’s important to remember that it’s all relative. If you want to go back to the 50’s, I’m assuring you that there were people in the 1950’s that were nostalgic for the 1920’s. And in the 1920’s, people whined and complained about how bad it was and that they wanted to go back to the 1890’s. And in the 1890’s…it’s not a “the good old days were better” issue. It’s a human psychology issue.  

Edited December 28, 2023 by LDSGator

[LDSGator]

People are, of course, free to live in the past and if brings them joy, great. My fear is that they’ll only hurt themselves. Like it or not, time doesn’t move backward. You can’t go back in time any more then you can live forever. 

[mikbone]

My seven year old -  “Dad, what was the first day like?”

[zil2]

2 hours ago, mikbone said:

My seven year old -  “Dad, what was the first day like?”

Send him (her) to milk the cows!

[Backroads]

My husband, who is not yet forty, literally does the cow threat. Or attempts to. We don't know anyone nearby with cows.

But the kids hear a lot of "way back in the 90s I had to get up at 4 am to milk the cows and it builds character!"

[Ironhold]

15 hours ago, LDSGator said:

I totally agree with this. I think nostalgia is a liar. We over romanticize the past and we casually forget that even in the :: blech :: “good old days” (I absolutely hate that phrase) we still had problems, people still complained*, life was not easier…

I could go on for pages about this.  If I’m being totally blunt I think those who live in the past are like those “peaked in high school” types who talk about touchdowns they scored back in the day at the 30 year reunion because they’ve done nothing of merit in the last 30 years! 

* it’s important to remember that it’s all relative. If you want to go back to the 50’s, I’m assuring you that there were people in the 1950’s that were nostalgic for the 1920’s. And in the 1920’s, people whined and complained about how bad it was and that they wanted to go back to the 1890’s. And in the 1890’s…it’s not a “the good old days were better” issue. It’s a human psychology issue.  

As I've mentioned before, there were a series of pivot points in my life where within the course of a single moment my life was altered forever. 

Many of these pivot points altered my life for the worst, such as the medical episode that landed me in the hospital where I got incompetent treatment. 

There's a part of me that is desperate for a do-over simply because it's tired of constantly hurting and longs for back before everything went sideways. I relied on this part of me for several years as nostalgia gave me something positive to think about to as a counter to the misery I was frequently in, but that came with the cost of not always being aware of and living in the present. 

Yes, it's a struggle to move forward, but I keep doing it because someone has to ensure these lessons are carried forward. 

[LDSGator]

5 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

Yes, it's a struggle to move forward, but I keep doing it

You keep doing because you are a fighter bro. That’s awesome of you.  

[Traveler]

6 hours ago, Backroads said:

My husband, who is not yet forty, literally does the cow threat. Or attempts to. We don't know anyone nearby with cows.

But the kids hear a lot of "way back in the 90s I had to get up at 4 am to milk the cows and it builds character!"

I remember back in the olden days when we had to get up and walk across the room to change the channels on the TV.  No wonder generations are gaining weight.

Getting back to @zil2 ‘s op.  I was taught by my parents that achievement in any pursuit is learning to love doing all the things needed for success.  For example, I was taught that earning wealth was not just doing hard things that others were not doing – I was taught that it was necessary to learn to love doing hard things not just doing hard things.

I believe that eventually we will stop doing things we do not love doing – regardless of whatever other rewards we think we are getting.  If we do not love walking the path to the destination it will eventually not matter (not be worth it).     There is nothing more miserable than doing things you do not love doing thinking you will be rewarded for it.

 

The Traveler

[askandanswer]

On 12/28/2023 at 10:17 PM, mikbone said:

My seven year old -  “Dad, what was the first day like?”

I suspect that my first day, and your first day, and your son's first day were all the same day

3 And I, God, said: Let there be ^alight; and there was light.

4 And I, God, saw the light; and that light was ^agood. And I, God, divided the ^blight from the darkness.

5 And I, God, called the light Day; and the darkness, I called Night; and this I did by the ^aword of my power, and it was done as I ^bspake; and the evening and the morning were the first ^cday.