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One thing you may consider doing is going to some open AA NA CA meetings, as well as some open al-anon, nar-anon, etc. meetings. If you get a schedule (online or elsewhere), there are codes which show which meetings are open to the public, and which meetings are addicts only / closed to the public. Most meetings are open. Q

I think Mental Illness is a very broad term. There are many types of mental disorders and each is to be treated different. Depression for example can be broken down to dysthymia, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, postnatal, major depression, bipolar disorder, situational depression, Psychotic depression. From reading Elder Hollands talk it sounded like he was alluding to something that was along the lines of situational depression. However after reading George Albert Smiths biography he certainly suffered from Major depression that actually left him bed ridden and physically exhausted for months and years. Joseph smith, I think all of us would have suffered some kind of depression if we were put through what he had to endure. I think Elder Hollands talk struck a cord with a lot of people cause it showed some vulnerability as a leader something not always seen in general conference talks. Often leaders can stand like spiritual giants, having it all together, finding the holy grail of gospel living. Which is fine and very well but sometimes people want to hear, hay I struggled too and that\'s OK? Elder Holland hit that cord in this talk

I'm with ya. I have to periodically restrain myself from attacking with cut glass & lead (one college course in stained glass work has given me delusions of ability inside my own head), and dearly miss carved wood & stone, textiles, symbols. I'll often still go to cathedrals and mosques, shrines and temples JUST for the beauty. Whether gravitas or liveliness. Conversely, as someone who grew up in hotel rooms... I also like the simplicity of being in church for the purpose of people, but the world itself is where we find HF. Living in hotels one learns very quickly that the building doesn't matter. It's what and who you bring with you. Rooms are all the same. They aren't the important part. We are. And what we do with ourselves. (Every time I start living in a house, though, I start forgetting that. Putting emotional significance in the space, instead of what happens IN the space) It's very easy (for me, myself, & I...don't know about others) to lose sight of HF being absolutely everywhere, when Notre Dame is a 20 minute walk away. I'd rather go to the cathedral, than stare out over the Seine and see the Spirit right there with me. I LIKE going somewhere beautiful, and set apart. Compulsively like. Start designing windows in my head during sacrament compulsive. But I'm more and more growing to LOVE the simplicity that demands action. Like a hotel room. The building isn't important. It's what we do outside of it that matters. The building is functional, our lives are to be made beautiful. Just my own opinion. From someone who reeeeeeally misses art & tokens, so I may be overly adding meaning. Q

Just to know... While AA et al are the most famous, as well as extremely successful, and I am in NO way putting them down whatsoever... They're also not the only game in town. There are 2 main branches in addiction med (disease model, and disease model + learned behavior). 12-step programs actually address both theories... Which is part of what makes them so successful, but there are other programs which do so as well. And are as effective if not more effective for many people. ESPECIALLY for - addictions & addictive behavior which CANNOT be abstained from, or which require moderation in order to live normal / healthy lives to their best potential. (Think food, sex, shopping, etc.)... - Dual-diagnosis (addiction + other neurological disorder, ESP those which require meds & med management), and - Situational related heavy use, abuse &/or addiction (ESPx2 when it's an addiction, but the person themselves is not an addict. AA/NA/et al are amaaaaaaazing for a very select group of people, but they also completely miss a wide swath of people who are struggling with addictions & need help just as badly. The LDS church based recovery programs are designed to help address that shortfall (as are many many other secular & religious organizations & agencies), in addition to people who are able to be completely served by standard 12-step programs. Q

By the way, Sali--you've seen this website, right?

Whenever I hear a swear word, I cringe. Thankfully, my family and friends do not use swear words. My environment now is such that unless I am watching TV or a movie, I rarely hear a swear word. (When I was working that was a different matter). And I try to stay away from movies, tv shows, or books that have bad language. I won't say that family/friends never use bad language, but it's rare. I've gotten after my kids for saying freakin'. I've told them that every time they use that word, I know what they are exchanging it for, and my mind automatically goes to the harsher word. I don't want to hear that word, I don't want to think that word. And especially in my home, I don't want that word. When I go out shopping or I'm out and about, and I hear kids and adults swear or take the Lord's name in vain, my attitude is one of sorrow. Not one of shock, because I've heard it all, and not much shocks me. But, my Spirit is definitely bruised when confronted with such language. And when I hear women speak with a foul mouth, I am especially saddened. I will take class over crass any day.

“Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path, the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship." Jeffrey R. Holland

The best thing you can do for these people is to have them work the Steps. Since you're not in recovery or an addict it will be difficult to for them to relate to you. Addicts and Normies (normal people don't think the same). And addictions are centered in the mind not the drug of choice. They will not get sober going to church and being the best Mormon they can be. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. They need work the Steps. And yes visiting several open AA, NA, SA, OA meetings will be crucial in you relating to the people in the rooms. I'd also suggest picking up the AA Big book and SA white book and read them cover to cover. Just do a good search for those two books and you will find a place to purchase them. You'll see that the LDS recovery manual is based off of the AA big book and other AA material. I'm serious. Do yourselves a favor and pick up these books and promote them within the meetings. The LDS manual is in my opinion pretty weak and could draw up resentments that the people in the meetings have about the The Church. There is a fine line in where the church can help and where The Steps will help. This is a Spiritual Disease. We have lost the ability to connect with God and therefore look for God in other things like sex, drugs, eating, and alcohol. Good luck and ask if you have questions.

I've never been to one of these meetings but I suggest making very sure there's a strict privacy/no gossiping rule in place that everyone knows about so they're more likely to come/stay. Also, during Conference Sister Reeves mentioned phone-in meetings. I'd make sure everyone knew about those because I'm sure there are people who need support but would never go to a meeting because of privacy concerns, not knowing what to expect, too far to drive, need to be home with the kids, etc. I'd also try to offer *all* the tools possible so people feel more empowered to tackle things from all angles.

I don't think I'm really qualified enough to give advice yet until I've completely mastered my own porn addiction. Having said that though, I do know that if you pray to the Lord for help and have faith that he will guide you, it will be just fine. A lot of people think that certain callings, when they first get them, just aren't suitable for them. But when they put their trust in the Lord to see them through it, they excel every time. Remember, as long as you have the Lord on your side, you've got it made. That's all you need.

In every ARP session I've been to, the missionary running the session doesn't have a lesson prepared. Rather, we read through a principle from the 12-step manual (switching participants with each paragraph), then have open sharing time. The missionary then extemporizes a brief response--perhaps an additional insight on the step under discussion, or adding on something that someone else said--and closes the meeting. As the missionary--even the coordinator, really--you aren't running the meeting; you're facilitating it. IMHO, the best work you can do is behind-the-scenes: you need to identify at least two or three who have struggled with addiction, have been reasonably successful with it, and have positive experiences/attitude to share; and you need to get them coming to your meetings regularly. Be sure the bishops in your stake know that you're there, challenge each of them to attend a meeting, and ask them to be aggressive about referring people to your program. If your program is going to deal with pornography addiction, He Restoreth My Soul by Donald Hilton is going to come up a lot. Get a copy, and read it. I don't know where you're located, and I don't want to be one of those "Utah Mormons" who insists that the Church everywhere runs the exact same way that it does here--but the group I go has sessions specifically for porn addicts, other sessions for their wives, and still other sessions for alcohol/substance addicts. You might think about breaking things out similarly, if you have enough numbers to warrant it.

Remember that you and your husband have been called by God and set apart to help people who are trapped in one of Satan's many snares. Satan is not going to be happy about this and is going to work hard to make you feel inadequate, confused, and discouraged. Put him in his place! You have been promised, and are entitled to, inspiration to help these people. If possible, take a trip to the temple specifically seeking the Lord's promised help and guidance. If you ask, you shall receive. You will also be greatly blessed as you work to magnify your calling. Helping people recover from addiction is a great form of charity.

My journal writing is for my children and grandchildren. I hope my testimony shines through the pages. I want them strengthened in the gospel.

One of the toughest parts of the repentance process is having to show that true repentance has taken place. It is difficult to want to go to the temple, or take the sacrament, etc, and not be able to because a sufficient period of time has not passed to show that a change of heart has occurred. In my opinion if tithing is not paid, simply paying the "owed" or "back" tithing does not constitute repentance. I feel this way because tithing is not a debt or a bill that we can miss a few months then make up for it by paying a lump sum. Tithing is a demonstration of humility and faith and if we slip up, we need time to show the Lord that we have truly changed. This does not only apply to tithing, but virtually all other commandments. The advise that I give you is to humbly listen to the counsel of your Bishop and hang in there. The time will pass really fast. You can do it.

I got sideswiped on the freeway in LA, bumper to bumper traffic. I even got out when traffic stopped and asked the guy if he was going to pull over. Even with a photo of the license plate and a physical description, the cops said they couldn't do anything because I couldn't prove he was driving the car.

But it is the bishop's call to make, regardless of other's points of view on it, and railing against the bishop will do no good for them, even if you are right. Humility and submission are always better for our spirituality than frustration, anger, and a general kicking-against-the-pricks. Whereas there are times when it is appropriate to call a bishop on a bone-headed something or other, it would require a great deal of care and humility to do so, not to mention a high level of spiritual maturity. In this particular case there are a few things that I think would contend against doing so. First, timing of temple attendance is not really important. A wait of another six months will in no way hurt them, and the choice of humility and dedication will be for their good, even if the bishop is being a bone-head. Secondly, even if the OP completely agrees that the bishop is being a bone-head, they may be entirely mistaken. We are getting one perspective -- theirs -- and it may not be entirely accurate, laden with lack of understanding, or general bias. We simply cannot see the overall picture, so a recommendation to go back and fight against the bishop seems fairly irresponsible -- particularly in light of the fact that nothing will come of it except further frustration and hurt feelings. Frankly it's just not that big of a deal. Bring a check to the bishop monthly for 6 months and go to the temple. Pretty simple thing, really. It cannot possibly hurt for them to follow the bishop's counsel on this, whereas it could very much hurt for them to fight against it, even internally.

I think you answered your own question. Your Bishop is the one who gave you the information. He is laying out a roadmap to the temple, and you are still on the road. So complete the journey and get your recommends, and then go to the temple. Are you looking for information that will prove your bishop wrong and make him give you a recommend? One of the other conditions to meet before going, is supporting and sustaining your church leaders. Do you do that?

Bini, I'm so sorry this happened. It might help you emotionally to report what happened. I think it's good that you shared.

While I'm a fan of not hiding you are LDS, or even just religious for that matter. under generic euphemisms at a certain point it becomes forced if it just isn't particularly relevant to the conversation. It becomes the equivalent of the guy who takes every, "How was your weekend?" as an opportunity to give you a blow by blow account of his D&D session or basketball game. That said you can't really fault a principle for breaking down when taking it ruthlessly to extremes in a hypothetical. So the general idea, don't be afraid to talk about what you actually do and don't shy away from the fact you're Mormon and you believe certain things is good. Just exercise a degree of sense in to whom you apply it and to what extent. When my fellow geology students ask why I don't drink I respond with a simple, "I'm Mormon." or "Religious reasons" because I'm not ashamed of that and if they want a deeper explanation they'll ask. If I was responding with, "Oh, I follow the Word of Wisdom.", which most of them don't know about by that name (or at all), it'd come off like a fishing expedition or that I'm so myopic I can't image people don't know what that is. Obviously, if I'm having a lunchtime discussion with them on the topic of religion then it is more likely a good time to mention and explain the Word of Wisdom. So in short, it's a good idea, just try to exercise (un)common sense.

I've defended road rage cases in Utah where someone just got a plate and made a report. So yes, by all means, contact law enforcement and tell 'em what you know. This guy's a menace.

Im sorry that happened to you, but Im glad that you and your daughter are ok. These name changes can be frustrating haha. Wondering who is this?

I would still report it. If this is the route this guy usually takes, others may have had / will have a similar experience and if they keep a file, there would be more evidence to do something about it.

Even if the cops can't do anything about your particular situation, knowing that there's an aggressive and possibly dangerous guy out driving around in a certain color Jeep Cherokee, is good information for them to have.

They should be able to run a partial plate with the car type. This happened to us with a truck once. WHen we got to the next toll booth they held him at the toll booth and the state police were there with him. It is very scary! I'm glad you are OK!

Call the cops and tell them what you know. They'll either be able to do something about it or not - can't really tell until you talk to them.