classylady

Heather, excellent article!

Today, if a woman is sealed to a man, as long as the woman has not been excommunicated, her illegitimate child/ren would still be born in the covenant. The children are protected by the sealing covenant. If the woman has been excommunicated then the children would not be born in the covenant.

One other idea to consider, even though Tamar and Bathsheba conceived out of wedlock, if they were sealed to their first husband, (no mention of excommunication) their illegimate children would still be considered born in the covenant. If Ruth was sealed to either her first or second husband, her offspring would be born in the covenant. So, Jesus’ lineage is of covenant lineage. The same with Joseph and Mary’s also.

When our daughter died my husband’s ex-wife came to the funeral. It made it uncomfortable for us and other family members. After that my husband wrote an email to his ex detailing certain boundaries he would like to see implemented. In the letter he requested that she not attend any more funerals of his family. He then explained that it was uncomfortable when she attended our daughter’s funeral, and told her the reason he did not attend her mother’s (ex-mother-in-law) was so she and her family could grieve without any distractions. My husband’s son came from out of town to attend his grandmother’s funeral, and we would have loved to have seen him while he was in the area, but didn’t want to take away from their family time and mourning together. It just seemed inappropriate. So we did not visit him while he was here. As to forgiving the ex-wife, forgiveness does not require you to be in the presence of someone who has been a toxic entity in your life. It does mean you should be civil, especially since children are involved. But, forgiveness does not mean you trust that person. And, unfortunately, we do not forget, even if we would like to. We have to protect ourselves from a toxic person. And, even though she may have been toxic in your personal life, doesn’t mean she is toxic to your children or other family members. It becomes a fine line that needs to be tread, and can be difficult. My husband has been divorced for nearly 40 years and there are still consequences and repercussions from the prior marriage. Sigh. There are times when we just ignore her as much as possible without being rude or uncivil. We try to be Christlike, but that does not mean she is welcome at husband’s family functions. My stepdaughter would like to bring her mother to every activity we have. That’s another story. My husband has also needed to talk to his daughter about boundaries. Good luck!

Wonderful! I would be a proud momma, indeed.

I might be able to get back up there. About what time do you need to leave for the airport?

This year in our ward we combined the 12 and 13 year olds, which I teach, and the 16 and 17 year olds. Love teaching my class. We have about 20 kids on the rolls (12/13 year olds), but the most we have show up is occasionally 12. Usually we have 8 to 10 in class. We have quite a few kids that go back and forth every other weekend to their dad/mom. There is a condo complex in our ward that has a lot of single parents living in them. The SS Presidency combined our class because there always seemed to be some sort of mix up with the 13 year old teachers, either one of the team didn’t show up, or they didn’t have a second teacher called, and the kids were beginning to skip their class. So, they combined the 13 year olds into our class, where the 13 year olds often were put anyway when they didn’t have their teacher. I’m thinking it helped that age group to feel like they belonged and gave them some continuity. Plus, I had taught that age group before and they know me. I have one girl who says she doesn’t want any other teacher but me and my team teacher. Hopefully, we can get her to move on. I love those kids, and tell them that every Sunday. It surprises me that these kids like this fuddy-duddy grandma. My team teacher is a younger woman who is expecting her third baby next week. I’m not sure if they will release her or find a substitute. She is wonderful with the kids. But, she plans on staying home during the next couple of winter months after the birth of her newborn because she’s afraid of exposing the baby to viruses.

Love all the Star Trek series. Especially love Voyager. I just wish I didn’t have to defend Voyager to the haters. I haven’t figured out why Voyager is derided so much. Is it because the captain is female? What’s everyone’s take on this? Why the dislike for Voyager?

More often than not the moderators are very much aware of the trolls that come on this site. There are many posts that never get approved. We’ve seen some doozies!!! Some of it is pure filth. Unfortunately, until the rules are broken, they are allowed to speak their minds. This reminds me of Korihor in the Book of Mormon, Alma 30: starting with verse 6 “...there came a man into the land of Zarahemla, and he was Anti-Christ, for he began to preach unto the people against the prophecies which had been spoken by the prophets...Now there was no law against a man’s belief;... 9 Now if a man desired to serve God, it was his privilege; or rather, if he believed in God it was his privilege to serve him; but if he did not believe in him there was no law to punish him.... 11 Nevertheless, there was no law against a man’s belief; therefore, a man was punished only for the crimes which he had done; therefore all men were on equal grounds. 12 And this Anti-Christ, whose name was Korihor, (and the law could have no hold upon him) began to preach unto the people that there should be no Christ. ...” The people of Ammon (Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s), which I liken to the stalwarts on this site, were more wise than many of the Nephites; and carried him to the high priest over them. And Korihor was removed from their land. Usually, the trolls eventually say something that breaks the rules and they will be banned. I’m so appreciative of the stalwarts on this forum who stand for truth and righteousness and do not waiver. You are all saints and angels in my eyes. @Grunt,you are loved. You have been a breath of fresh air. Your posts have been a reminder that there are true seekers out there. Sometimes, we can get a little bit cynical when someone comes to the forums with an “honest” question, and then they become a troll. Thank you, for allowing us to be part of your conversion story. The gospel is true! I know it with every fiber of my being. I cannot deny the witness of the Holy Ghost that has confirmed to me the truthfulness of this church. I’m grateful to all of you on these forums who are not afraid to speak up in defense of the church and our leaders.

We were very well behaved. Wink. Wink. My hubby was there too. And all he wants to talk about is Amature (Ham) Radio. Since he knew Grunt has his license he was all excited to meet him. That really wasn’t what we talked about most of the time. We heard Grunt’s conversion story in wonderful detail.

It was a real pleasure meeting you. It had been awhile since I had gone through the Church History Museum. President Eyring’s art exhibit was wonderful. It had also been several years since I had toured the Conference Center. Looks like you made it to the Church Office Bldg., theJoseph Smith Memorial Bldg., Beehive House, and This is the Place Monument. You were busy!

I have been doing some research since I read your post. I can find very little information. The only info I can find is by Bruce R. McConkie. In his book Mormon Doctrine, he states that most devils, demons, or evil spirits are those spirit beings cast out of heaven for rebellion. So far, that agrees with what you state. However, under Spiritualism in his book, as he talks about mediums and seances, he states “In most instances, however, such spirits as manifest themselves are probably the demons or devils who were cast out of heaven for rebellion. [and then he says] Such departed spirits as become involved in these spiritualistic orgies would obviously be the spirits of wicked and depraved persons who because of their previous wickedness in mortality had wholly subjected themselves to the dominion of Lucifer. Righteous spirits would have nothing but contempt and pity for the attempts of mediums to make contact with them.”... So, according to him there could be wicked departed spirits who interact with the living. I know his book isn’t authorized by the church, but I have great respect for Bruce R. McConkie. I have always been under the understanding that wicked departed spirits could interact with the living. I just have no authoritative documentation. All I know is that we should not dabble in the occult in any manner. It is dangerous and will harm our spiritual selves, and possibly our physical selves.

Same here, Anddenex. I have had experience while on my mission.

My husband and I will meet you. Let me know when. I’ll message you my phone number.

Such a sad experience. I’m so grateful for the atonement. Some day this will all be resolved by our loving Savior.

I have to admit that Pres. Eyring’s talk has been an eye-opener. In my mind, whenever I heard the word nurture, my understanding was that it meant: to love, encourage, support, look after, strengthen. I would think of a mother hen hovering over her chicks and protecting them, helping them find food, etc. I admit I never focused on the teaching part of it. Though, when I think about it, as a full time mother, who spends the most time with the young children? So, where are they learning their speech and other behaviors from? It’s primarily the mother. As the children get a little older, in a traditional home, father also teaches. Much of this teaching from both mother and father is by example. In our home it has primarily been me that taught gospel principles. My husband just never seemed inclined to bring it up. He was supportive, but never really instigated gospel discussions. Same with FHE. If we held it, I instigated it, and taught the lesson. I truly wish my husband would have taken a stronger role—at least suggesting we hold FHE, and not leaving it all up to me. But, I do admit my husband was good about instigating family scripture study. Since reading Pres. Eyring’s talk, I’m not as upset with my hubby as I was. I probably should have been more consistent in holding FHE.

From what I understand the children will only be sealed once—to your ex-wife and their stepfather, (and yes, children can be sealed to a stepparent, as long as bio parent gives permission.) The important thing to remember is that even if they are sealed to the stepparent, that will never take away your importance of being their bio parent. You will always be their “dad.” I commend you for seeing the bigger picture of the importance of your children being sealed. They need this blessing. I believe in the eternities to come your children will be grateful to you and call you “blessed” for allowing them this important blessing. In the long run, it’s the blessing of being sealed that counts, not so much as to whom they are sealed.

Haven’t made plans for summer yet. But, in April my husband and I are taking our 14 year old granddaughter to London so she can visit her best friend. We will actually be in the Ipswich area for about two weeks. I’m really looking forward to this trip.

As a kid, I lived about 32 miles south west of Paradise. I remember Paradise as a pretty little town. This breaks my heart. Butte County is my old stomping grounds, where I was born, went to Elementary School, etc. It is very emotional for me to watch all the footage of the fire. I pray the fire will soon be out. Luckily, any family I have in northern Calif. all live in the Sacramento area.

Losing my father to death at an early age (I was 6 years old) sort of warped me. I won’t say I was warped in a bad way, but I experienced profound grief at such a critical age that it changed me. As a teenager, I felt old for my age. I couldn’t bring myself to do some of the things that my peers did. I knew I wasn’t invincible/immortal like many teens think. I knew I could die today or tomorrow. And, I knew that if I wanted to see and or be with my father again I needed to obey the commandments. At a young age I made up my mind that I wanted to “go to heaven.” At a young age I had faith in God and I learned later to have faith in Jesus Christ. According to Zil, (I think) my desire to “go to heaven” would be an Epic goal. I call it a commitment. And there are a lot of steps to reach that specific commitment. I have called those steps short term goals. Always, in the back of my mind, I have known what my end desire is. It is to obtain the highest degree of glory. I want that more than anything! I want to be with my loved ones whe have passed on before me. I miss my father. I miss my daughter. I miss my grandparents and my mother. What bothers me, is that I still fall short of some of my short term goals. I’m grateful for repentance. Because without repentance there wouldn’t be any hope for me. I truly wish I was like those in the Book of Mormon, when they were converted had no more desire to do evil, but to do good continually. Also, I want to add, that in my mind, a commitment is something you don’t give up on. It’s something that you don’t fall short on. A commitment is something that you will achieve.

Marriage can be hard, even when you are married to one you are “in love with”. That infatuation stage of love will only last for about two months to about two years. After that it should shift into the attachment stage. Some people crave that “rush” of the infatuation stage and will go from partner to partner looking for that rush and then move on when it’s over. If this is you, you need to do some deep thinking and introspection. Some therapy may be needed. That type of love won’t last in a marriage, and isn’t feasible. If you never had that feeling for your wife, all is not lost. You can develop the feeling of deep attachment, which is what most long last lasting marriages have. If you leave your current wife, what do you think will happen? If you remarry, you and your new wife will always have to deal with your ex. It is not easy to constantly have to coordinate schedules between two households. There is very little privacy and the new wife may dislike that. If your current wife gets custody you will have child support payments to make which may put a financial strain on your new marriage. This is often a source of contention of remarriages. Then there is the step-parent issue. I can’t remember if you have a son or daughter. If you have a daughter the step-mother/step-daughter relationship can be very difficult. There is almost always loyalty issues. Many remarriages fail because of the step-parent/step-child issues. The new wife often feels like a second-class citizen because her husband doesn’t know how to set appropriate boundaries between himself and his ex, and doesn’t enforce respect between his children and the new wife. I married a divorced man with children. I have done a lot of reading on the subject. We have been married over 37 years. If I had to do it over again, I would not have married a divorced man. It has been brutal! We love each other. But, love does not take away the issues in a remarriage. And, remarriages have more issues and baggage than a first marriage. It’s a fact of life. If you can make your first marriage work, do all that you can to salvage it. Divorce is not worth it! [Disclaimer: other than for abuse, adultery, or addiction]

I have often heard others say “Church is so boring. It’s the same lessons, time after time.” And, I think to myself I need those same lessons time after time. I need to be reminded of the importance of obeying the commandments. If I’m not reminded it would be so easy for me to start with: it won’t hurt if I shop on Sundays; tithing is so hard, I’m going to skip this month because I need Christmas money; a little flirtation with my co-worker won’t hurt; I’m going on a Sunday drive in the mountains instead of attending church, I can feel the Spirit that way; telling off-color jokes isn’t so bad; etc. The list can go on and on. There are so many ways the Spirit can leave us. I personally need to be reminded to choose to do right. I need to hear the message of being more Christlike. It isn’t a waste of time to be preaching to the choir. I’m in the choir and I need the preaching. Maybe, it’s because I’m just like the Israelites, who need the constant preaching and call to repentance. It would be so easy for me to slip and stop following the commandments. I hope it doesn’t sound like I think I’m perfect. I have so many weaknesses I need to improve on. That’s again why I need to be preached to.

I am very close to my extended family. On my mother’s side there are 56 first cousins. Some of my Aunts and Uncles had very large families. One Uncle had 14 children. Another Aunt had 12 kids. It was crazy (in a good way) when we got together for Thanksgiving. We would reserve the church and meet in the cultural hall. This was all in the Northern California area around Sacramento. I was sad to move to Utah away from my cousins. But, by moving to Utah, I then had the opportunity to now get better acquainted with my father’s side of the family. I have about 35 first cousins on my father’s side. I’m close to most of them, but I didn’t bond with them as closely as my other cousins. I wonder if it was because I was a little older. Or, perhaps it was because we were still some distance apart. We lived in Southern Utah and they all lived up north. After moving to Utah my mother would send me to stay with my aunts or uncles in Sacramento or Reno, NV for the summer. I loved staying with them. I never got homesick. I’m still very close and it has been hard to lose my aunts and uncles to death over the years. I grieve along with their children. I love FaceBook because it allows me a way to keep in contact with my extended family. It also allows a way for my cousin’s children to get to know me. At funerals, weddings, and reunions the younger generation know who I am because of FB. They aren’t afraid to come talk to their mother or father’s cousin because they know me through FB. I make positive comments on the photos thy share, etc. Some of them have come and stayed with me at my home. A little closer on the family tree, I have had different nephews live with me and my family for several months at a time. They know they are always welcome.

My daughter’s in-laws flew in from Korea last week. They all did a whirlwind tour of Utah’s five National Parks this past week. Mrs. In-law’s favorite was Bryce. She also liked the State Park Dead Horse Point. Mr. In-law’s favorite was Arches and Canyonlands. They were at our house for dinner last night on their way back to my daughter’s and son-in-law’s home. They told us Utah is “the treasure of the United States”. They loved the beautiful scenery and spectacular sunsets. I have lived in Utah since I was eleven years old. I visited Zion Nat’l Park almost on a yearly basis. Bryce, I’ve been to many times, but not as often as Zion. Capital Reef only a couple of times. Same with Arches. I had never been to Canyonlands until two years ago. It’s spectacular. I wish I had pushed to see it sooner. I will return, and this time either during the spring or autumn. We were there in August. I almost passed out due to the heat.

Loved both Beethoven’s Fifth and In the Hall of the Mountain King’s line drawings! Very clever. I’ve been working on Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” for the piano this past year. It’s always been one of my favorite classical pieces. I’ve gotten discouraged trying to perfect it. No matter how many times I practice it, I can’t seem to get the song 100 percent. Of course, not being able to bring myself to play the piano for about fifteen years has greatly diminished my capabilities. I’m still trying to get my skills back. When I could emotionally bring myself to start playing again, nearly fifteen years after my daughter’s death, I am now playing one to three hours a day. It has become my therapist.