classylady

I wonder if the Hill Cumorah Pageant and the Manti Pageant will continue? Those are the only two I’m really familiar with, though I think I’ve heard of smaller pageants now and then. I can’t remember the names of any others.

@Grunt, when will you be in Utah? If you want someone to show you around my husband and I would be happy to do so. You can message me. My husband will be happy to talk to another Ham Radio Operator. He just passed his General last month. Now he’s studying for his Extra Class. He was so close to passing the Extra Class. He took it after his General test without studying for it and missed it by only a few questions.

Your above statement, “We have literally lived more than twice as long without plural marriage in the Church than we have with.” started me thinking about my family history. One of my maternal great grandmothers married her husband in 1888. She was the second wife. I was three years old in 1958 when she passed away. The first wife passed away that same year. My great grandfather had passed away prior to me being born. What this means is that some polygamist marriages, those performed before the Manifesto, were still functioning within my lifetime. I find this fascinating! It really is close to home. My grandparents have always spoken highly of their childhood and growing up with so many siblings. This particular great grandmother was also a child from a polygamist household. Her mother was the third wife. My great grandmother had this to say in her journal: “I am grateful for polygamy, which gave me such fine brothers and sisters... I am grateful that as a heritage it seemed easy for me to accept and live happily in polygamy as one of my Father’s numerous posterity. And I leave my testimony as to its power in developing Christian ideals of unselfishness and it’s marvelous experiencing of love and deep consideration of the feelings of others, which we must all learn if we are to gain the Eternal Salvation.” She further had this to say about her husband and his first wife: “l met xxxx in 1887. I thought him one of the finest, best-natured men who had ever come into my life. ...he wrote mother asking her consent for him to court me. ...we corresponded... My appreciation for him as a man of real worth, as the prospective father of the family I wanted to have grew. ... it was a period of secret and very difficult courtship for me. Polygamists were being hunted down and imprisoned daily, but it mattered little to those who believed in, and honored this sacred principle as had been taught us to do. Mrs. xxxx “(always called Polly) was very nice to me. Said she’d rather he’d marry me than any girl she knew — ‘though she didn’t see why he need choose one so pretty.’ “ Mr. xxxx “gave me every opportunity to really become acquainted with her, since I insisted this should be the basis upon which my consent to marry should rest. Every experience at that time served to convince me of the sincerity of purpose of this noble woman. It must have been a real trial in those and earlier days in our church for the women in Mormondom to share their husbands, thus making possible the marriage of many girls who otherwise might never have known the joys of motherhood with such fine men as Bro. Xxxx type to be fathers to large families. My tribute to “Aunt Polly”, as we always called her, is one of true sincerity. She has always been wonderful to me throughout our long acquaintance and companionship”... This is what Mrs. Xxxx (first wife) had to say: “At this peak of our prosperity my husband was prompted to take a second wife. It seemed a noble thing for him to do, especially when it was almost certain to result in a term in the State prison. ... I am sure that my convictions in the soundness of the principle would have enabled me to suppress every urge to jealousy...”. One of our family stories is where Mrs. Xxxx made a beautiful dress for my great grandmother to wear during their courtship. I have many family histories where the practice of polygamy was noble and inspired. I’m very grateful for the rich heritage I have and I’m proud of this heritage.

I remember JudoMinja. I miss her posts.

You don’t need another wife, you need a live-in maid/housekeeper, like Alice from the “Brady Bunch.” That would solve the day-to-day problems. My ancestry is from good polygamist pioneer stock on both my paternal and maternal sides of the family. It has been interesting to read some of their journals. Most polygamist families lived in separate households. So, depending on how many wives you had, you would be responsible for building/buying each wife her separate house. If each wife had five children or more, think of how many pairs of shoes, clothes, braces for their teeth, food, etc. that you would have to provide? I have one ancestor, I can’t remember how many wives he had, I know he had at least three, but if he bought a large sack of beans he would have to count the beans when he was dividing it, so each household received the same amount, or there would be complaints. And those wives would make sure no one wife was favored. Not fun in my opinion. My maternal great grandfather married two sisters. They did live in the same house, but each sister had her separate living quarters. They were very close and helped each other out, much like in your scenarios. But, I don’t think that was the norm. I think of the ancient harems of the kings, and how the wives would kill the babies of the other wives so their child would some day be the rightful heir. Not pretty. I grew up in Southern Utah and have met a number of “lost boys,” young men who have been disenfranchised from their closed polygamist communities, because there are not enough women for them to marry. Most of the girls are married off to the older patriarchs in the community. My son just built a home last year in St. George, and the builders (two brothers) were from a small polygamist community, and were pretty much kicked out after a certain age. This is very common. The builders subcontracted out the framing and other jobs to polygamist groups. It was very interesting. During the St. George Parade of Homes I volunteered at my son’s house. Many polygamist families came through to see the end result of their labors. The women, dressed in their long skirts, and long hair, had cell phones just like any woman these days, and were taking photos on their phones just like any other woman. It was interesting. I’m a people watcher and enjoy watching others.

I’m old school, but I consider the term lady to be a compliment. I really really hope lady doesn’t become a “dirty” word. I deliberately chose “Classylady” as my screen name because I consider being a lady and having some class as being the type of person I want to be. One of the nicest compliments I received was back in my 20’s and I was told by several young men (Elders in my mission) that I had class. I took that as a compliment, and I put that with lady - one who is “refined, polite, and well-spoken” to hopefully portray the type of person I aspire to be. I fall short at times, but my screen name reminds me to always be Christlike. These days it seems that young women have no desire to be a “lady” or have “class”. Why has this fallen into disfavor? I simply don’t understand it.

To fill in the time I usually spend on FaceBook (I’m fasting from FaceBook this week), I have been doing logic problems. I probably am not using my extra time as wisely as I should. 😇

For me, the hardest thing to do will be no FaceBook. That’s how I stay in touch with my married children and keep up with my grandchildren. I don’t think I overuse FaceBook. I usually skim through it several times a day. It’s also how I know what’s happening with my neighbors and ward members. I had the opportunity to minister to one of my inactive neighbors last week. They posted on FaceBook that their car wasn’t working and they had no way to get their boys to the bus stop for the military academy their boys attend. I was able to help by driving the boys and picking them up on Thursday and Friday. I hope they don’t need help this week because I won’t know unless I’m contacted directly.

I’m hoping to have more time to work on family history. I just pray that I, personally, will make good use of that time and not disappoint my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by squandering it. I have good intentions. I will need to be on guard to stay on top of my good intentions and remain committed.

I’m accepting President Nelson’s request to the sisters to give up social media for 10 days. I know what that will entail for me—FaceBook, and some of my online games I play. How about you?

I’m the better baker. I love to bake cookies, cakes, breads, etc. My grandfather owned a bakery in Elk Grove, CA and I must have inherited his love for baking. As a child I loved the smells when visiting the bakery and loved watching him and other family members make cakes and decorating them for birthdays and weddings. I make a great pot roast with potatoes and carrots. I also make yummy lasagna and enchiladas. My husband doesn’t care for casseroles so I don’t make many of those, but I love them. Our family favorite that all the kids love is our beef roast or turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. When it comes to mashed potatoes and gravy my husband and I are a team. I wash and peel the potatoes. Husband cuts them up and mashes them when done. He makes the gravy. I assist with the stirring. We always make the potatoes and gravy for our family get togethers. My oldest daughter’s in-laws from Korea are coming over to the States later this month. She asked us to cook a roast and make our mashed potatoes and gravy for them. We are happy to oblige.

For people who know me, they find it definitely out of character that I would actually be a moderator on a website. Haha. One of my quirks lately is I have a fascination with watching flight simulations of airplane crashes. You Tube happily notifies me of any new videos that are out, and I can’t seem to help myself, but watch the grizzly scenes. It’s amazing how real these videos seem.

I may have gone to Red Lobster, once, but I’m not sure. If I have it was a long time ago.

I’ve never had cheddar bay biscuits. They sound delicious. But, I am now in the mood for homemade biscuits fresh from the oven. I think I’ll go make some.😁

I would definitely be cautious about marrying a twice divorced person. Hopefully, her character speaks for her, and she is an honest, hard-working, spiritual, loving woman. I married a divorced man who had custody of his two young (2 and 4 year old) children. He was/is a wonderful man. But, I admit, if I knew then what I know now I would not have married him. It has been extremely difficult! There is no privacy. All vacations had to be coordinated between us and the ex. Financially it was hard. His ex refused to pay any child support even though her income was equal to my husband’s. Whenever my husband asked her to be financially responsible, she would threaten to go to court to get custody of the kids. Thus, there was very little security. We were always fearful she would do this. For special family functions such as birthdays, baptisms, etc. the ex will be there. When there are kids involved the ex will always be a factor, and it’s hard to be a nuclear family. A blended family is not the same as a first marriage family. No matter how much you want it to be, and try for a normal family, there are always the interruptions, phone calls, etc. from the ex. Boundaries are important to be set up between the spouse and the ex so misunderstandings are limited. And then there is the stepchild and stepparent relationship. There can be loyalty issues. Usually there are problems between stepdaughters and stepmothers. My stepdaughter, even though she is now 40, has hangups and loyalty issues with me. I could have been a perfect stepparent, and she would still have issues with me. It is what it is. We are civil to one another. I love her, but the feeling isn’t reciprocated. I’ve had to disengage so I’m not so emotionally devastated. Stepparent and stepchild issues is one of the big factors of divorce in remarriage. And, the biospouse needs to support and include the new spouse in the decisions about visitation, etc. As a stepparent every interaction with the stepchildren was scrutinized. My mother-in-law was traumatized by her stepfather and watched my every move with her grandchildren. She came to love and appreciate me, even telling my husband that I have been a blessing in their lives. But, it was rough those first few years until I gained her trust. One Sunday there was a woman at church who told me that she was watching me how I disciplined my stepson who was misbehaving by teasing the baby. She told me I did wonderfully, treating my stepson lovingly, like I would my own child. It was a reminder that as a stepparent, I was being scrutinized and judged without even realizing it. And then there are the times when the marriage relationship is going through a rough patch. All marriages have their ups and downs, but in a remarriage there are added insecurities. I’ve read where a remarriage can be classified as a “special needs” marriage/relationship. As with any marriage, love needs to be communicated, but a remarriage often times has to deal with the extra insecurities, such as “am I second choice?” Is our relationship as meaningful as the first, such as “been there done that” and not as exciting? Is the relationship between husband and wife strong, so as spouse is dealing with ex, which needs to be done on occasion because of the kids, there are no loyalty issues? These can be some of the extra issues spouses have in dealing with a remarriage. That’s why the divorce rate is higher with second and subsequent marriages. It isn’t easy!

I have seen many people who love their pets as much as a family member. When we had to put our aged dog down, it was sad. But, the amount of sympathy and support we received from co-workers, extended family, friends, and neighbors was surprising to me. I grew up on a dairy farm and many of my “pet” chickens, calves, piglets, and lambs grew up and became our dinner. I guess I don’t understand the “pets are family” mentality.

An eternal marriage (sealed together) is the greatest blessing/gift that we can receive. I am so grateful that my husband and I have an eternal marriage. I’m so grateful that my daughter who died in a car accident at the age of 19 was born in the covenant. Not only do I know that I will see her again, but I cherish and hold to the promise that we are an eternal family. There is no other blessing in my life that is greater than this. Please do not think lightly of eternal marriage. One of the greatest comforts I had as a child was knowing my parents were sealed together as husband and wife. My father died when I was six years old. I am so thankful for that comfort of knowing we were an eternal family. Even though my father was not with us in this life, I knew we were still a family. There is no other blessing more comforting than this knowledge. I strive to live my life worthily, even though I often fall short, so I can be with my daughter and other loved ones again. I don’t want anything less than this. For me, nothing else comes close to this blessing and comfort. When you truly love someone you want an eternal union.

As an apostle, President Howard W. Hunter, remarried in 1990 about 7 years after his first wife had died. He married a divorced woman, Inis Egan. Inis had been divorced since 1966 and had three children from her previous relationship. From what President Hunter wrote in his journal, they were very happy together.

Some great ideas have been posted. I can’t think of anything that would be better. I thought of Israel’sArmy, but that would have political connections. Maybe something like ReasonTogether, or MustardSeed.

Wow! The best history lesson I’ve ever read! Lol

I wish I could have been there. Thank you for sharing.

I love the song Tainted Love by Soft Cell. But, whenever I hear it I always think of the movie, The Coneheads, where Beldar gnarfles the Garthok. https://youtu.be/O4A46OQkklA

The saving ordinances such as baptism and temple ordinances are required to be exalted. All must receive those ordinances. We do the work for our dead so they may progress. As we do their work our hearts are turned to them, and they likewise to us. I like the thought that they may be the ones who minister to us from the other side of the veil. Journals are a wonderful means of connecting us to our ancestors and posterity. I was teaching my Sunday School Class (12/13 year olds) last month and we were discussing journal writing. One yong man said he had only ever written a few pages and his writings “sounded stupid”. I told the class how my father had died when I was only 6 years old. He never kept a journal. Do you think even one page of a journal would be precious to us, his family? It would be priceless.

I worked for Continental Airlines at the time at their Salt Lake reservations office near the airport. My shift didn’t start until 3 pm, so I was home that morning. I continually flipped through the channels trying to desperately get more information. I was in a state of shock. I was heart-broken for my “brother and sister” airline employees who lost their lives that day. The aircraft that crashed into the Twin Towers, The Pentagon, and crashed in a field were United and American Airlines. They were our competitors. But, any thought of them being our competitors vanished. We were family. I lost part of my airline family that day. I still mourn their loss. Returning to work that day was a nightmare. And it was awful for the next several weeks. Many employees would suddenly burst into tears after a particularly rough phone call. I talked to hundreds and hundreds of people rescheduling flights, canceling reservations for people who were too afraid to fly, and family members who lost loved ones from the plane crashes. Many people who called were traumatized and in tears. It was an emotionally traumatic time. Continental allowed us extra breaks because of the emotional trauma. We were also working overtime because of the influx of calls. It was nerve-wracking and difficult, which is an understatement. I can’t truly describe the chaos and devastation we all felt. The airline industry took a major hit. No one wanted to fly. There were lay-offs within the whole industry. It has taken years to recover.

I happen to live several miles from the American Fork/Alpine Tabernacle. So, I drive past it on a regular basis. We have attended quite a few Stake Conferences in that building. I don’t happen to love the exterior architecture, but the interior has stunning wood work. In my younger years I lived in St. George and often attended Stake Conference and other functions in the St. George Tabernacle. Beautiful building! I loved going inside and feeling the Spirit that was there. I have also loved visiting the Salt Lake Tsbernacle. Again, I’ve attended many conferences, Christmas Devotionals, and Choir functions there. i happened to be wondering why the church no longer builds Tabernacles and found this article about LDS Tabernacles. I didn’t realize how many had actually been built. Do you have a favorite Tabernacle? https://www.deseretnews.com/top/3435/0/A-look-at-60-historic-Mormon-tabernacles.html