classylady

I’m from the western United States and I learned to pronounce aunt as ant. I’m okay when easterners pronounce aunt as auhnt, but it bugs the heck out of me when westerners switch their pronunciation to auhnt. It sounds affected.

JohnsonJones, my understanding is that if a woman gets a sealing cancellation she is no longer sealed to her ex-husband. If you mean a civil divorce without a sealing cancellation, then yes, I suppose she is still technically sealed to him. If it remains that way until the next life, I believe he/she would be given the option if they want to remain together through the eternities. There’s usually a good reason for divorce. Most likely one or both of them do not want to be married to each other. Even though Heavenly Father frowns on divorce, it is allowed because we are imperfect people. I don’t believe anyone is going to be forced to be with an ex, if they don’t want it. Even, once we have reached our perfected state, and have celestial love for all, does not mean we lose our option to choose.

I had a very traumatic experience when I was a young girl of about 4 or 5 years of age. My parents had just given me two cute, adorable kittens. I still remember their coloring—brown and caramel tabbies. We lived on a dairy farm, so of course these were outdoor cats. One morning I went outside to play with my kittens. When I got to their “nest”, I saw that their heads had been torn off! I screamed and screamed! My parents came running, thinking something terrible had happened to me. I was devastated. My parents said it was most likely a tom cat that had killed them. This has stuck with me for over 60 years.

If I inherited five million, I would pay off my mortgage and other debts. I and my husband would have much needed dental work done on our teeth, which we currently are unable to afford. We would get a decent car. We would replace some of our food storage. Travel some. Maybe buy a camping trailer. Our aches and pains are such that camping is getting hard for us. Taxes would probably take about half. I don’t think there would be much left after these expenditures.

I was under the impression that he would need to be baptized by proxy, but I could be wrong. Then he would have his blessings restored. I’ll see if I can find any information on this. Children do not lose the blessing of being born in the covenant when a parent/s is excommunicated. Also, when parent’s have their sealing canceled, the children retain their blessing of being born in the covenant.

Wow! Your watermelon patch is really coming along, as are your other veggies. I’m rather envious. I really would like to be a great gardner, But, alas, I try every year, and it’s hit or miss. I’ve switched to container gardening. It’s about all I can handle now. Next year I will have to figure out where and how to plant my Bradford watermelon seeds. I’ve got enough land, about 1/2 acre, but the soil is rocky and not the best. I will have to get it ready. I really want to try those seeds. We just cut up a watermelon we got at the grocery store. It’s not sweet, and as usual lately with any watermelon we buy, disappointing!

I have never heard that we should never speak of miracles, but rather, only if the Spirit prompts us to share. I have had miracles occur in my life. Most of the time I do not share them, but there are times when I have felt prompted to do so. For my children, now all adults, I created a binder I called “Family Treasures“. In the binder I have recorded the miracles that have happened to me, my husband, my children, and many of our ancestors. I believe there is a time and place for some of these miracles to be shared. They are sacred. I hope in my telling of the events that they will help strengthen my children and grandchildren’s testimonies.

I had just watched that video of Pres. Eyring about an hour ago. It popped up on my FaceBook feed. Powerful!

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas. First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared. I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared. Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother.

I like to win too. But, I have given up my winnings/prize to someone else. I like to see others succeed.

I actually liked the article. It was spot-on for me. Should women’s voices not be heard? Why do we need to be aggressive in order to be heard? My personality is such, that when I’m in a group I am reserved. I’m that way whether it’s a mixed group or all women group. I will speak up if I have something worthwhile to contribute, but I’m not going o be aggressive about it. It’s not in me to act that way. Another way I find myself to be different than men is in the area of competition. A number of years ago I was working with a boss who set up competitions in order for co-workers to be more successful in sales. This didn’t motivate me at all. Sure, I would like to win the competition prize, but I hated to win because then someone else would lose. I would rather see someone else succeed, rather than me. I’m very grateful that the Lord doesn’t set up getting into the Celestial Kingdom as a competition. We can all make it!

I enjoy doing sudokus, but I’ll pass on this one.

My life hasn’t changed much. I babysit my 4-year-old grandson. His parents still work full time, so I drive out to Eagle Mountain every morning, M thru F. The commute used to take me 30 to 35 minutes. Now it’s about 22 minutes. One morning it only took me 20 minutes. I shop when I need to. Don’t wear a mask, though I have ordered one. I do have cabin-fever, but I always get this way during the Spring. I want to get out into the outdoors. My husband and I, along with several of my siblings and their spouses, are going on a 4-wheel drive trip through some back-country in Southern Utah next week. I’m really looking forward to that! We checked the county restrictions, and the nonresident county restrictions have been lifted. My entitled Karen complaints: *My guitar lessons are currently on hold. (Yes, this older woman is trying to learn guitar.) I want to buy a new guitar and I’m feeling very frustrated because I can’t go into a guitar shop and try different guitars to see what I like best. I’m hoping the nonessential stores will open soon. *I want to travel!!! I’m feeling deprived. I have flight benefits (retired airline employee), and not being able to travel is so frustrating! Even though I didn’t have any definite travel plans until September, just knowing I can’t travel overseas is getting me down. Plus, I was hoping for a trip to Hawaii for our 39th anniversary. Doesn’t look like that will happen. *I miss eating out. My husband and I don’t eat out that often, but on occasion it is a nice treat. *I love the National Parks! Just knowing they are closed is hard! I want to go to Bryce and Zion.

I try to do a garden of some sort every year, but I don’t have much of a green thumb. So, my gardens have been haphazard and some years successful and other years not so much. Our soil is very rocky and so we have switched to container/box gardening. I’m getting older with a bad knee and don’t have the strength or energy I used to have, so container gardening works for me. One crop I plant every year is radishes. I don’t particularly love radishes, but they only take about 25 days to mature. They are easy to plant, and easy to care for and it’s exciting to get results within such a short time frame. It helps me feel like I’m a successful gardener. My minimal garden every year includes radishes, turnips (personal favorite of mine when fresh and small), tomatoes, zucchini, carrots, and crook neck squash. On years when I feel like I can handle a larger garden I add bell peppers, corn, green beans, peas, cucumbers, pumpkins, egg plant, broccoli, lettuce, and cabbage to my minimum garden. I often try strawberries and different melons, but don’t seem to have much success with them.

Since I am a stepmother I have done a lot of studying on second marriages and step-parenting. There is a high divorce rate of 2nd marriages when children are involved. I think about 67 %. Even though you and your fiancé love each other, your children may not love her or ever grow to love her. Whereas, the stepparent usually makes a conscious choice to love the stepchildren, the stepchildren usually do not make that choice. There are almost always loyalty issues for the children involved. That in turn may cause relationship problems between the married couple. The stepparent often feels marginalized and can feel like they will never be number one in their spouses life. It is a very difficult relationship!!! Most stepparents have no idea how difficult it will be before getting married. Premarital counseling may be a good idea, not only for you and your fiancé, but also for the children. I have also been a stepchild. My mother remarried about 6 years after my father died. I did not like my stepfather! Looking back, now as an adult, I can see that he wasn’t such a bad guy, but I was a young teen, and there was no way that I was going to accept him. And, I admit, that I (nor my younger siblings) made it easy for him and that in turn made it hard for my mother. Their marriage lasted less than six months. I was at a meeting with Dallin H. Oaks, and he mentioned that he did not start dating after his wife passed away until all his children were on board with it. I believe he said one of his daughters had a more difficult time with the issue, and he waited until she was also okay with him dating/remarrying. Because, all the children were accepting, the step-parenting issues were at a minimum. I hope you and your family can find peace as you find answers together as a family.

I admit I don’t often get up and share my testimony in Fast and Testimony Meeting. But, when I do share my testimony whether in Fast and Testimony Meeting, or in a Primary lesson, Sunday School lesson, or Relief Society lesson, I feel the responsibility that is on my shoulders. My responsibility is to teach or share with the Spirit, and to help my fellow members and/or investigators feel that Spirit. Because I do have a testimony and have felt the Spirit testify to me of the truthfulness of the gospel I feel I will have let my Savior down if I don’t testify. So, I will use the terminology “I know”, or “I testify in the name of Jesus Christ that ...”. And then I try to clarify why I know. I feel because I do know, I need to help those who are struggling. I want them to learn for themselves and know without a doubt so that when trials come their way, they have an anchor to hold on to. If they don’t know for themselves, when a a pivotal point comes in their life I hope they might remember me, Sister Classylady, and remember she knew! I hope they can hold onto my knowledge until they get their own. This is a responsibility I feel very strongly about.

My family was in England last April and actually stayed with several English families. We were always asked how we felt about Trump. We met quite a few people who love Trump. It surprised me because I was under the impression that most Europeans hated Trump. Those that I met who loved Trump were also for Brexit and quite conservative. They see their country as failing and to them immigration was a big part of it. They feel they are losing their culture. They don’t dare let their daughters even go shopping alone because of the fear of rape by the immigrants. Those who loved Trump are glad he is stirring the pot. They are tired of having to keep their mouths shut because it isn’t “politically correct” and because anything they say against the immigrants is considered racist. Housing prices are expensive. They blamed that on the immigration policies. The immigrants get the housing and there is very little left for the Brits. Young people can’t afford housing, etc. We had some great political conversations. My experience must have been different than yours. When I travelled to Italy, Germany, Switzerland, and France this year I didn’t have the opportunity to get into politics with anyone. A couple of years ago I was able to visit a friend in Germany and she and her husband and adult sons liked Trump. I think Europeans are very similar to US citizens. If you listen to the news almost everything you hear is negative about Trump and everyone hating him, but if you start talking to some of the regular folks, and they feel like you won’t ridicule them, they will start to tell you what they like about Trump. Many Europeans are tired of the liberal policies and are afraid of where their leaders are taking their countries.

Here’s a few things we do: Attend church. Usually stay home after church and try to take a nap—especially now since we’re older and have less energy. Read. Some Sundays we visit extended family. Try to have family dinner. I like to do family history on Sundays. We used to have a Family Home Evening lesson on Sunday when the kids were young. We don’t shop on Sundays! Nor do recreational activities like swimming, fairs, amusement parks, or attend movies or plays. We also did not have friends birthday parties for the kids. We might do birthday cake with family only, but never a friends bash. We also don’t do yard work on Sunday.

I wish I could remember exactly what he said. We were asked not to record, video tape, or take photographs. He talked about how so many in Africa only have one meal a day. The average length of life for men is around 44 years of age. He mentioned AIDS being one of the causes of the young death rate. They live in very small houses, perhaps one room, often caring not only for their own family, but often the children of their brother because he has died. The young men (and women) are needed to help support the family. If they go on missions that financial support is not there. And, as I mentioned earlier, some of these young men and women are the only members. As to fast offerings, he didn’t say much more than, here they are, poorest of poor, hungry, how they give of their meager earnings—pennies, nickels, and need food and basics to survive, and in Utah some are unwise with their income and now need help in paying their mortgage using fast offering money. I think he was trying to portray the huge difference in needs and wants. It sounded like he said these poor saints are willing to help us in Utah, and it’s usually due to our unwise decisions, yet they need the very basics.

I was at a German Mission reunion last night for all German speaking missions. Elder Bednar and his wife spoke to us and he specifically touched on this topic. He asked us to please stop with the myths, etc. that so many of us adhere to. He said the policy changes such as witnesses, ministering, youth program, missionaries able to call home on a weekly basis, etc. are because we are a world wide church. It needs to be simplified, but the eternal truths are there. It needs to be family based. For example, he talked about Africa, and the growth there. Young adults have the obligation to care for their parents and support the family. Often times, the young person is the only member. If they go on a mission they are unable to to help support the family. If they have no contact with the parents for the two years while serving, the parents become more antagonistic towards the church. The change in policy for missionaries to call home was for them, not us (Utahns, Americans), but we benefit. I wish I could state this the way Elder Bednar did. He talked about the Saints in Africa who are the poorest in the world. They pay their pennies and other meager change for fast offerings, which goes into the coffers of the church, so someone here in Utah can pay their mortgage because they were unwise with their money, He was blunt. He talked about revelation and how it is often given, line upon line, precept upon precept. Most of the church policy changes are not abrupt changes. Each particular prophet has been working for years in specific areas of their stewardship. These are not new ideas to them, but it comes line upon line. I’m grateful I was able to hear Elder Bednar talk. The Spirit was so strong. His wife’s comments were just as powerful. I truly feel blessed to have been there.

Congratulations!

I’m glad you misread your itinerary. It was fun meeting you!

@Hello, I understand where you are coming from. I married a divorced man who had previously been sealed. When we were sealed I requested we get sealed in a different temple than the one he and his ex were sealed in. When I was pregnant with our first child (his 3rd) I chose a birthing technique that would be unique to us. There were many other things that we have done to differentiate “us” as a couple. In fact, when I read about remarriage advice, doing things unique to the new couple can be beneficial to the marriage. It seems to especially be important to women. Things like getting a different bed than the previous couple’s bed is important. If moving into the same house as the previous couple, redecorating can be crucial so it becomes “our” house, etc. Another, little anecdote from my marriage. My husband brought a beautiful set of china from his first marriage to ours. We would use it occasionally for special occasions. Over the years, whenever I would open the cupboard and see that set of china it would trigger unwelcome thoughts of his ex-wife. One day, about 25 years into our marriage, I happened to find a beautiful set of china at a yard sale and bought it. I was sitting in the car after buying that set of china and the tears just started to flow. I realized how much his old set of china had bothered me. I hadn’t even realized just how much. When I got home, I asked my husband if he would mind if we gave his old set to our daughter, who had recently gotten married. He was fine with it, and in fact, if he had known how I felt about that china all those years he would have long ago given it away. He had no emotional attachment to it. Since then I have acquired a second beautiful set of china, again found at a yard sale. These sets are “safe”, where they do not bring unwelcome thoughts. .

Count me in, along with my husband.