classylady

Welcome! I understand where you are coming from. I married a divorced man who was still sealed to his ex-wife. That was over 30 years ago. At that time it was difficult for men to get a sealing cancellation from an ex-wife unless she was going to be sealed to a new husband. When my husband and I decided to be sealed, my husband requested a sealing cancellation from his ex, but the First Presidency said it wasn’t necessary in order for us to be sealed. I swallowed my pride, and chose to be sealed. I wanted the blessings of the sealing for me and my children. That was far more important than whether my husband “might” still have a priesthood stewardship with his ex that would extend into the eternities. Also, at that time, sealing clearances for men had not been instituted. A sealing clearance means just as it sounds. The man is “cleared” to be sealed to another woman. The sealing is not cancelled. A sealing cancellation though, means the sealing is cancelled. Any children that are either born in the covenant or are sealed to their parents will not lose the blessing of being sealed to righteousness parents. That remains intact even if the parents are no longer sealed to each other. Now, fast forward about 25 years. My husband talked to our bishop about having his sealing cancelled to his ex-wife. Our bishop was very understanding and in fact asked my husband why he hadn’t tried to have the sealing cancelled earlier. My husband told him, he had, but, “I didn’t think it was possible.” Our bishop told him it is much easier for men to request a sealing cancellation from their ex-wife, even if she has never remarried, or has married a nonmember. So, our bishop started the paper work for the sealing cancellation. After the Stake President approved the paper work and sent it into church headquarters, my husband had his answer back within three weeks and the sealing cancellation was approved. (Sigh! That was such a huge burden taken from his shoulders and mine.) The Bishop will ask the ex-wife to write a letter telling her point-of-view of the divorce. It is not a letter “giving permission.” My husband also needed to write a letter stating his point-of-view about the divorce. Any child support or maintenance payments will need to be current. (Edit: some ex-spouses refuse to write a letter stating their views of the divorce. They are given about three weeks to reply. If they don’t reply the process goes on without the letter. Some ex-spouses may be vitriolic in their letter. From what I understand, unless there is proof of unrepentant misconduct it won’t have much bearing on the outcome.) Our Father in Heaven understands our feelings. He will never force anyone to be together eternally if they don’t want to. Your future husband and his ex most likely have already broken the sealing covenant by their divorce. But, it is nice to know that the sealing can actually be cancelled. Some bishops and stake presidents may not know that men may be allowed to request a sealing cancellation. It isn’t very clearly written in the handbook unless it’s been clarified since my husband requested his sealing cancellation. Even though it is hard to understand polygamy, especially from a woman’s point of view, and our current culture, it obviously was ordained of God at different points in time to help raise up a righteous generation. My family goes back at least five generations within the church, and I wouldn’t be here if polygamy wasn’t practiced. I’m very grateful to my ancestors for their sacrifice and dedication. Good luck! I hope this helps.

I agree with you. “All” is a rather broad idea.

As I’ve been reading all the posts I am reminded of the wording in The Proclamation on the Family: “We the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve...solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God...”. Note, that the wording does not say that only eternal sealings are ordained of God, but that marriage is ordained of God. I take that to mean all civil marriages between a man and woman are ordained of God, which means they have merit. Most societies/cultures have some form of marriage. I believe it is a fundamental institution that comes from God. Perhaps it is wired into our DNA? I don’t know the answer to that, but it is interesting to me that marriage is a recognized institution across almost all cultures. I believe that our Father in Heaven has planned it this way.

Wonderful news! It is such a blessing to be sealed as a couple and family. It is my greatest comfort. As a child I found comfort in knowing we were an eternal family after my father died in a tragic accident. As a mother I find comfort in knowing our daughter is sealed to us, and we are an eternal family. She died in an accident at the age of 19. IMO, there is no greater blessing.

Last year I volunteered to help watch (guard) my son’s father-in-law’s guitar collection that was on display in the St. George Parade of Homes. He has an extensive guitar collection and Van Halen’s signature is on one of them. Kind of cool. The guitar I really kept my eye on was a Fender Strat, Serial Number 0003. If you know anything about guitars you can make an educated guess on it’s worth.

My husband and I both used Ancestry for our DNA analysis. It’s so interesting. My youngest sister also did hers through Ancestry and it’s fascinating to see how different we are, yet Ancestry was able to connect us as siblings.

Shiva, you are heartbroken over your boyfriends past sexual history. It is true, as you say, that if you two married that the two of you would never share some milestone first time experiences together. You would be unevenly yoked in the physical intimacy department. He can be forgiven, but there are consequences to his past actions. He has a history that cannot be erased. No matter how much he (or you) wishes It never happened, it did. He will have those memories and comparisons of his past girlfriends. Even if he tries his hardest not to compare, it is part of human nature. In order to be happily married when one partner has more experience in the physical intimacy area, some things that are needed would be : trust, transparency, reassurance from the more experienced spouse, absolute knowledge that you are number one and adored, and healthy self-esteem. If your self-esteem is lacking you might start comparing yourself to his exes, and that is never healthy. It can destroy a good marriage. If his past bothers you this much, don’t expect marriage to erase it. Resolve it in your heart before you get any more serious.

I appreciated the Jewish story you shared. Very good! I had just finished rereading Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning” last week so, this story really hit home.

I would politely tell my family that “due to my illness I can no longer assist.” Or, “due to my illness I unfortunately will have to cut back. “ “Doctor’s orders.”

I’ve known tragedy from a very young age. And, when I’ve experienced such profound grief the gospel gives me the hope to soldier on. I can’t imagine my life without the gospel. It is the foundation that I lean on. It gives my life purpose and meaning. Not only that, but I’ve had profound witnesses from the Spirit that has testified to me the truthfulness of the gospel. I can not deny the witness I’ve received.

I like Vort.

You’ll be in my prayers.

I love Utah. I moved here from Northern California when I was in 6th grade. I still love California too. If you are the type of person who sees the positive about things, that’s what you will find here. If you look for the negative that’s what you will find. The people are diverse. There are a lot of people who have moved here from out of state. The larger cities are the most diverse. I have always had wonderful neighbors of all backgrounds. If you move here thinking that because Utah is predominantly LDS that most of the people will be following the commandments, think again. The LDS community struggles just like any other community. Many are struggling, just like me, to make good choices. Sometimes I fail, and I can’t be judging people for their weaknesses when I have so many faults of my own. There can be an anti-LDS atmosphere in some work environments. I found that at one of my jobs. I was glad to find better employment where respect for all was followed. If you are kind and friendly, not hypocritical or self-righteous, people will like you. I have loved every ward I have been in. People are good. Sometimes it takes awhile to feel like you fit in, but, for me it’s most likely because I’m more of an introvert and find it extremely hard to socialize.

I’d love to go.

I liked the article. I was pretty harsh on myself after my mission. As the years have gone by I have since let up on the self-castigation. I thought because I was a missionary on the Lord’s errand I should have been nearly perfect. Of course, I fell far short. Thankfully, I can look at myself now with a little more Christ-like love and forgiveness. I served in Germany where, on average, there were about two baptisms per missionary before they went home. My mission changed and strengthened me more than anyone else. D&C 18:15 “And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!” If that one soul is you, yourself, then your mission was worth it!

I’m not sure what it is. But, these women don’t get overly excited when one of the other Apostles come into view. Just seems to be Uchtdorf.

I can understand being excited to see one of the Apostles. But, I admit it bothers me a bit when Elder Uchtdorf comes into view and the women standing in line to go into the conference center get a little crazy. It’s like they suddenly turn into 13 year olds swooning over a young Donny Osmond. Yes, Elder Uchtdorf is a handsome man, but I don’t think it’s becoming of adult women to act like teenagers over him. I Don’t know if that is a “problem” or not.

For those of you who feel they may not belong here on these forums, please, please, be aware that you may be a tool in the Lord’s hand in helping those who come here with their questions. You are wonderful! I know you have helped people to come closer to Christ. Some may not be on the same spiritual rung of the ladder as you. There are those who are struggling. I appreciate every one of you who are so stalwart in defending the gospel. Thank you! Thank you!!! You are needed! You are appreciated!

My father was ordained a seventy by Spencer W. Kimball around 1956. I’m not sure who ordained my father to an elder, but I assume his father. I would like to get both lines of priesthood authority from the church offices. I’ll ask for both and we shall see what happens. My husband was ordained an elder by his father, and two months after my father-in-law died, my husband was ordained to the office of high priest. So that changes his line of authority if I understand it correctly. I know my husband would have loved to have had his father ordain him to high priest, but it didn’t happen that way. (My father-in-law was a high priest at the time of his death, so he could have ordained my husband if he would have been living.)

That is what I would do. I would email them and explain the situation. Right now, there may not be a close family match, but more and more people are getting their DNA done and, who knows, a close family match might just show up on Ancestry in the future. Best of luck to you, Bini. I’m hoping you can get some good results and that it won’t take years and years. BTW, I did my DNA with Ancestry. I have a lot of close matches, sister and 1st cousins, 2nd cousins, etc. it’s fascinating. I’m thinking that this may be a fairly new idea in the Philippines and not many people have started to request their DNA from there yet. Plus, the cost could be a deterrent. I wanted to do mine years earlier but could never justify the cost. My kit was also a gift.

It’s been a long time since I’ve read Tolkien. It’s time to pull out my books and reread them. I don’t know how any of you remember any of what you posted. My husband has a good memory for detail. I’m lucky if I remember the gist after I finish the last page.

JAG, could you explain what you just wrote? Forgive my ignorance, but, I’m not sure what the abbreviations mean. Thanks.

At first glance I preferred Pres. Eyring’s signature. I like the flowery looks of it. But, as I looked at Pres. Nelson’s signature the cleanness of it appealed to me. The only letter that jars at me is his R. It looks a little sloppy. I’ll chalk that up to his age. As I’m getting older my signature isn’t as nice as it used to be.

I’ve been writing my father’s history for my family and I want to include his priesthood line of authority. He was a Seventy when he passed away. Would I request the line of authority from his Seventy ordination or would I request the line of authority from his Elder ordination? Or should I request both? I was pleased to see that we can request the priesthood line of authority for our deceased family (also you can request your own) by an email sent into church headquarters. Just go to LDS.org for instructions on how to request it. My father died when I was six years old so I have very few memories of him. He didn’t keep a journal, and we only have a few letters that he wrote my mother. So, there is very little information on him. Unfortunately, we never had his siblings write any of their memories of him. They are now all deceased, so is my mother. I’m getting my older siblings to write down their memories. This has been an emotional experience for me. I’ve gained a greater appreciation for him and I’m hoping my children and grandchildren will get to know him through this history.

I used to attend church in the original building back when I was a kid. I am deeply saddened by this.