BadWolf

Tom Hanks (Wilson! Wiiiiillllllllllsoooooooooon)

Being brave isn't not being afraid. Being brave means doing the right thing even though you're afraid.

I only stream (or rent). Haven't had cable (except for 2 aborted attempts) in 12 years. Its so exciting to see how the medium has been expanding the past few years. Although, lol, gripe of my own: HBO FINALLY comes out with a mobile version, but ONLY if you have a cable provider. Thwibbt! C'mon HBO, direct subscribe. Direct subscribe.

This is such a case of an argument coming full circle/ 2 polar opposite extremes having the same end goal: - Women shouldn't go to college because they're mothers / SAHMs - Women who are mothers/SAHMs shouldn't go to college. Both misogynistic viewpoints can go do something anatomically improbable. And, again, SAHDs are completely ignored. Maybe I should change that to both misanthropic viewpoints could try removing their heads from so far up that the little bump in their throat is their nose. Furor has died down? Ha! This is one woman whose furor hasn't died down. [Mod deleted - sorry - it was a really good rant] * ETA... I can delete the last wee bit o' name calling if its line crossing, Mods.

Shiny

There was abstinence in my marriage DUE to sin ::

Try too, reminding them that there are different Buddhas for different lands. If Joseph Smith had been born in Asia, he would have been considered a Buddha, but he was needed in America. So his title is Prophet, and his connection is called God instead of One/All. The ways and traditions are different, naturally, because this is a different land/ different people/ different needs. Put the religion in terms they can understand. I don't know which branch of Buddhism your family practices... But as a child I was taught to fast as Siddhartha fasted (not for an age), with nothing but really vile tea (chock full of nutrients, but it tasted foul). I was taught to pray, to give offerings, to pay respect to my ancestors. All these are tenants of the LDS church. Family history is paying respect to our ancestors, fasting is done in a similar way (still with food to nourish. Tithing is offerings. Being given a perfect body is reincarnation. Becoming like God is Nirvana. In many ways each successive Prophet is like a reincarnation of a prophet passed. The general authority. Etc. There are many Christian Buddhists... As Buddhism can coexist with many religions. But then, I come from the land of Born Shinto Die Buddhist.

Double post

Nope. Not what I was saying at all. Im saying that - even people who are present at the time don't know all the ins & outs of everything going on, at all times, with everyone. The not omniecient part of life. So accounts, even first hand accounts of events / primary sources, are limited in their scope, and are biased. Not that they're lying (although most people slant the truth in their favor and its ALWAYS colored by their perception... Which is a product of the individual cumulative life experience). - That even the very few who know most, change & grow over time, and may see the same event differently in the moment and at some time in the future. What may be seen as a tragedy by one person, a year or 10 years, later... May view the event as a triumph, or blessing, or necessary evil, or with gratitude. - that once one goes into secondary & tertiary accounts one has a whole new set of problems - that the lens in which we interpret 1st hand, secondary, & tertiary sources needs to be taken into account (although never able to totally remove it) - that anyone, at a later date, will rarely have the complete story (although sometimes we may have more pieces to deduce from, its still deduction & correlation). - that most, in the present, will never have the complete story - that facts & truth are 2 entirely seperate creatures (science v non science) - deduction v induction - that history is written by the victors or the survivors, - that the writers of history make many assumptions (leaving out what they believe to be unimportant or what "everyone already knows". ((For example "everyone" knew that my grandfathers unit did x because of y. So it didn't get recorded. 70 years later, he had historians seeking out members of his unit because they were trying to find out why in blazes they did "x". Or, if everyone knows how big a cubit is, why record that? Or if everyone knows the notes for how Greek is sung -ancient Greek was a sung language, not a spoken one, drives classicists into therapy, why record that? Or if everyone knows what a road is, why record that? The mundane gets annihilated by history.)) - that scope & sequence are limited by many factors Which is true for ALL of history. Not just one specific piece of it. And it hardly follows that the veracity of any person or group should be called into question merely because its limited in the exact same way that everything else is limited. Also, for the record, history & prophecy are ALSO 2 seperate creatures. Just because we don't know the intimate details of an argument, or even if there was an argument... Just because a person may believe one way about an event, then come to believe differently, and both are recorded... Just because we know far LESS than there is to BE known... Doesn't invalidate something entirely separate.

So does Snogging! (Snogging = Making Out = Petting) Snog, having a snog, were snogging. Making Out comes from the question "How did you make out with him/her last night?" English, the language of diplomacy. So vague, convoluted, and full of euphemism & multiple meanings that no treaty is safe and no lawyer is hungry My saintly grandmother had a wild youth. A flapper in the 20s, she attended mass & confession a minimum of twice a day. Whenever I watch "A league of their own" when Mae is making the Priest drop his bible 4 times in the confessional, I think warmly of her. Prim, proper, and correct long before I was born... (Widowed, raised 5 kids on her own). She continued her twice daily masses, although went considerably longer between confessions. She was hugely influential in the Chicago Cathloic church for decades by the time of her death. But when she was young, she was extremely wild. She recommended escaping the gaze of the Cruxificion & saints by making out in the confessional. As it served dual purpose (privacy & convienece). Face palm. Oh. She related that tidbit during tea with the Monsignior & Bishop one afternoon. I about died.

Midnight Bus

Bahsten (Also known as Boston)

As an anthropologist (and NOT a postprocessualist, my bias upfront) I look at history as a fun story; Largely untrue (partial truths), heavily biased, and missing bits. For any account, past or present, there's always at least a dozen possibilities as to what ACTUALLY happened, the motivations of the people involved, the real story. I love history. I believe its study is invaluable, although I also recognize it is an EXTREMELY soft science. But its fun! Like the world's greatest mystery novel.

I feel perfectly comfortable running, talking loudly, eating, etc., in front of - my parents - my bishop Snogging & Bathing & picking my nose I do in private. There are levels of appropriate behavior. If yah wouldn't do it in full view of authority figures... It stands to reason... It will be handled more severely than things which are allowed in full view.

Im halfway through my run, but can't get this out of my head: If you're a military woman... You will ALWAYS be counseled by peers that your husband isn't good enough for you. He could be Hercules & not manly enough, Einstein & not smart enough, Mr. Rogers & not caring enough. Always. Always. Always. The only way to combat this is by aggressive offense. Which means continual praise & respect. Even then, you will STILL be counseled that you deserve better. By people who want to sleep with you. Sex is treated like a sport (wanna meet for basketball? Oh. You're playing racquet ball with Jim tonight? Tomorrow then? Excellent. Seeuou then) in military culture as it is nowhere else Ive ever been. Marriage is treated 1 of 2 ways: - As sacred - As a challenge to get around (improvise/ adapt/ overcome) My dad was O8. My godfather O10. All morality aside: if you want to ever make higher than a junior grade officer... treat marriage as sacred. Because those who can't handle their personal lives, don't get promoted. Which means NOT falling for the "you deserve better... Like me" come ons. Not saying 'don't divorce'. Im saying that whether you stay married or not, to be wary of counsel with agendas that include your knickers. .

Far from an encompassing answer... Here's just a piece to consider: I am a complete and utter failure at 2 things in life: - Cleaning - Paying bills Back when I was single, I paid for those 2 things to be done. My husband took those to be CHARACTER deficits. He berated me, screamed at me, sneered at me (which only made me guilt ridden and to eventually LOATHE the man). At one point, he "quit" paying the bills, saying I needed to "learn some responsibility". Well, you know what? I hired an accountant and our bills got paid. He took the bills "back". I could NEVER get the money to hire a maid. If my husband had been less of a jerk... He would have seen what I saw: - His weaknesses were my strengths - His strengths were my weaknesses. We had the POTENTIAL to have an amazing, synergistic (some=greater than parts), incrediably marriage. But he had a major attitude problem. Since I wasn't good at what HE was good at, I was obviously a failure of a person. Nevermind MY strengths Nevermind HIS weaknesses In a marriage, few people are good at everything. Period. MOST people have strengths & weaknesses IDEALLY both people are not weak in the same areas But, as you've found, that can lead to resentment & superiority issues. I SUGGEST the following: Write out his weaknesses (since you're ticked, that should be easy) Write out your own weaknesses Now... Write out both your strengths. AND write out where your strengths create resentment. ((Meaning, if you're the cook, but you don't want to cook every night, figure out how many nights a week you need to order in or eat sammies to not be resentful about cooking. If you're the cleaner, hiring a maid, if you're the bill payer, hiring an accountant, etc.)) I am a WHIZBANG cook. I can short order for 10+ people, every night 350 days a year. And be HAPPY about it. I like cooking. But an average of 2 weeks a year, I went on strike. First time, my hubby tried to cook. I cannot even describe what a bad idea that was. The man has no taste buds, his brain doesn't think the way mine does, and Ive literally eaten things out of a dumpster (misspent youth) that tasted better. In 11 years my husband cooked 6 times. Each time was made memorable by the inability to eat or illness that followed (What do you MEAN you left the fish in the car for 8 hours??? You buy it before work, being it IN and stick it in the fridge! Don't just dump an entire jar of cumin over it to hide the smell!). LOL... See? Its EASY to get angry at someone else's weaknesses. Especially when the results AFFECT you. But. How would I want to be treated if the situation was reversed? If I missed paying a bill and we were swamped with overdue fines, or worse? So I cooked. My husband paid bills. My bestie? She's the opposite of me: She pays all the bills (her husband is as hopeless as I am with timely payments, so she handles all their finances)... And her husband cooks. When the 4 of us got together, we'd "trade" spouses. Her hubby and I cranked up the music & got down to some SERIOUS cooking & laughing. She & my husband would be talking new tax law & economics. She & her husband have a thriving, joyful, and long lasting marriage. Mine ended in divorce after 11 years. She & her husband divide labor according to skill. They're kind to each other. They treat the other as they want to be treated when one messes up. They're PARTNERS. ___________ Okay, 2 things to consider. As to sex: Yeah. I have a high sex drive, too. For 10 years, I got to have sex daily. But by the 11th, I closed the muffin shop. I was tired of being looked down upon. Tired of being yelled at. Tired. Just dead dog tired. Your husband may have a lower tolerance for being treated badly than I do. Your husband may be depressed, have hormone issues, or another medical problem. Your husband may have a lower sex drive. Or some combo of the above. The hardest one to fix will be how you treat him.if its depression, low sex drive, or a hormone imbalance, a pill will fix it. But DO try changing how you treat him, and see if that improves your sex life. Because make no mistake about it, you are treating him badly. Just from what you've shared here YOU are - Disrespectful - Demeaning - Verbally abusive That's UNSAT and intolerable. If someone in one of my old commands was treating his wife the way you describe treating your husband, he'd find himself in some serious trouble, both with me & everyone else in the unit, and then, if they didn't change their ways, fast... They'd find their career tanked. Spousal abuse is condemned by most in the military. I understand a lot of this is venting. But your actions are completely out of line. Sort yourself, pronto.

I TOTALLY just read this as 'Mark Wahlberg'.

(( Mispost! ))

I've spent most of my working life in the 3rd world. The poverty there is exceptionally different than poverty here. In short: Their poor people don't eat. Our poor people eat junk. _____________ Cheap foods in the US (random list) Meats & protein sources - Highest fat ground beef - Almost no fat beef scraps - Tinned Tuna - Pasta Sauce w/ meat added - Tinned Ravioli/Beefaroni - Peanut Butter - Rice&Beans (usually with lard for flavor) - Chicken hot dogs - Chicken corn dogs - Chicken fingers ( I realize in some parts of the country a "chicken" is cheap, do a lot of people eat a lot of chicken. Here, Chicken/whole is apx $10 normal, or $15 organic. Processed meats are much cheaper here than fresh meats. I can buy an 8 piece fried chicken for $5, though.) Cheapest "Fillers" (nearly all carbohydrates) - Pasta - Ramen / Cup Noodle / Knorr/ Lipton - Rice (plain/white... Not served w legume) - Beans (not served w grain). - Kids cereals on sale (chocolate frosted sugar bomb type, healthy cereals are expensive) - Potatoes - Crisps/Chips/Fries & tater tots - Worthless white bread - Popcorn (pre packed w butter is cheaper than kernels popped on you stove:( ) Not exactly sure WHAT to call it - Velveeta - American Cheese (cheese flavored jello) - Margarine Fruits/Veg - Tinned if at all. Frozen & fresh is too expensive. Treats - Same as treats for people who eat well AND - Otterpops ($5 for 100, instead of $5 for 8) - KoolAide ________________ I think I gained 10 pounds just WRITING this list. There has been tons & tons of research into poverty & obesity. To sum up rather a lot of it; - If you're poor in this country, you're probably fat (obese) AND malnourished (a lot of the increased fat storage & hunger is from missing dietary components), although you may be severely underweight, you're probably ALSO fat (thin, including visable hip socket thin, but BMI off the charts) due to decreased muscle mass & ketosis as your body eats itself. - if you have a healthy diet, then you are typically being fed (work/ school/ neighbors) elsewhere, -------------- There's just a REALLY BIG difference between making bad choices with your diet, and having those be the ONLY choice. I've GOTTEN to eat the above list. (Its still a good thing, because being fat is better than starving to death)... Because I had no other choice. Its that, or don't eat. Its not that I don't know better, its because I didn't have the money to buy healthy food. I can also whip out a ceviche, sear shrimp that explode, or steak that melts in your mouth with Chimichurri to kill for. Capresé salad, stuffed mushrooms, broccoli Raab, roasted corn with Harissa that makes you contemplate life in a new way. I can feed you stuffed to the gills & still losing weight with flavorful joygasmic bite after bite. Your proteins clean, fats balanced or chosen, sugars complex or carbonized. If you're in cold weather training, and need 18,000-24,000 caloroes a day? I can do that, too. In a way that won't make you feel bloated or like throwing up or needing to wash your mouth out with lemon to get rid of the constant grease film. (Because, man oh man, can I cook. I'm humble, too!) But its expensive to eat well, period. Because eating well on the cheap... Is still about 10x-100x as expensive as just eating cheap. If someone is eating oatmeal 3x per day, and stirring in peanut butter for flavor/fats/proteins... There is no way on earth my "eating well on the cheap" is something they can afford.

I drove my missionaries nuts. I don't pray out loud (freeverse, Ive prayed in Herbrew, Latin, & Arabic formulae) unless Im begging for someone's life. Maybe that's colored my mental/spiritual state, because my anxiety level jumps to immediately on par. I have no words, because there are no words to say, because I don't want anything as badly as I want their life. Although I HAVE asked MHF to protect me from my own stupidity on a number of occasions, I have a bad habit of "jumping in where angels fear to tread". Also of making bad decisions. These are only half begging for life & half apologizing for 'your servant being a blockhead'. Now... I can bust out a sura, or in nominae patri... Because the words hold meaning & no meaning, as Im reciting, the true prayer forms in my heart behind the words. Its entirely possible, with PRACTICE, that I could pray out loud. Which is why most missionaries that I know pressure investigators & converts to pray out loud. To work out the rust & kinks in a safe environment where you can ask questions or "mess up" (you can't, really) without feeling on the spot. Like in a class (fortunately, Zim quite adept at cheerful 'Thanks! No :)' but a lot of people would be mortified), or relief society, or home teachers. By praying out loud with them, you get to stretch muscles that might not be in active use. lol OR because it honestly doesn't occur to them that people don't!!! Long before I converted, it frankly shocked me how often some people pray. It was so touching & sweet for someone to ask God for my safe travels (full on prayer, not just a Godspeed type thing), or prayers before meals, or prayers for this/that/whatever. I prayed silently all the time, but hearing people pray out loud, about as often as I did silently, was always somehow eye widening. EITHER way (they're trying to be helpful, or just plain forgot), you'll be fine. Just be honest. Tell them you're freaked out. It will work out from there.

Whoops, sorry. On the sublime field. God is perfect therefore doesn't change vs God is perfect therefore does change No. Definitely not all change is good, though all change may be needed. I don't know. But spectrum wise: Entropic decay <---> Creation Lol. With all our decisions somewhere in the middle.

This is why I think E rocked it. - Addressed the immediate potential for harm - Then sought the relevant concerned parties Legitimately busted.

Reading through some older posts... I noticed a theme... That rather than tacking onto Im hoping some people will help me thrash out. I believe that change is required for perfection. That the moment in which change ceases, perfection is lost. Omnipotent = Change at Will. What Im reading, however, is a lot of change = imperfection. ??? I've come across the concept occasionally in the OT/NT. I always just took "immutable" to be a failure of language. A way to express that God is not Zeus cum Jupiter cum et cetera. Not omnipotent except every 2nd Tuesday in even months, so transgress then, if you must. Not omniscient unless you're in a ring of salt. God is everywhere, all things, forever & always immutable. Not static, incapable of change, limited immutable. Thoughts? Doctrine? BW

1) Absolutely 2) I think you have your causality backwards - Its incrediably well documented that things like * Poverty * Depression * Other psych issues CAUSE EITHER severe weight gain or weight loss. - Just be ause someone is poor & cannot afford healthy food ($), or exercise (time... Working 2+ jobs to survive doesn't leave a lot of time for anything except sleep) doesn't mean that they're spiritually bereft. - Just because someone is too poor to afford appropriate medical care (surgeries to correct injuries that limit their activity level, physicals that catch thyroid issues, asthma medication, etc.), doesn't mean that they're lacking in spirit. - Just be ause someone is living at the hospital with their sick kid, surviving on cafeteria food, and sitting for 20 hours a day (blowing up like a balloon or wasting away) doesn't mean that they aren't gripping onto the spirit for dear life. Et Cetera. The vast majority of people Ive come to know are either obese or ematiated not for lack of wanting, but for lack of ability. People just don't walk around carrying signs. _______ On a personal level... (Warning, shouty capitals ***not directed at you*** but at the countless strangers whove caused my child incalculable pain.) My former competitive athlete son is now morbidly obese. If. I. Hear. One. More. Time. "Oh. Well THAT'S okay, then." When some random person finds out he's on steroids that CAUSE obesity... I may have to seriously repent my actions in prison. Really? REALLY??? You get to look down your nose at a little boy who would be DEAD without these medications and JUDGE WHETHER OT NOT ITS OKAY??? I don't owe you an explanation or his medical history. You and the DOZENS LIKE YOU every day that make him think he would rather be dead than fat ARE NOT OWED ANYTHING. now go drown puppies or kick babies or whatever else you do in your spare time you self righteous coporolyte! And.... Breathe. okay. I'm back! CAN being grossly over or underweight be a sign of spiritual deficiency? Sure. But so can being in perfect health (worshiping one's body). I suspect, however, that MOST people are not over/underweight due to a spiritual malady. Instead, they're doing the best they can, with what they've got.

So.... I rather like the word 'mystery' & have none of the connotations you place on it. Being a total language geek, I went OED: Definition of mystery noun (plural mysteries) 1something that is difficult or impossible to understand or explain: the mysteries of outer space what happened after he left home that day remains a mystery [mass noun] secrecy or obscurity: much of her past is shrouded in mystery a person or thing whose identity or nature is puzzling or unknown: ‘He’s a bit of a mystery,’ said Nina [as modifier]: a mystery guest 2a novel, play, or film dealing with a puzzling crime, especially a murder: the 1920s murder mystery, The Ghost Train 3 (mysteries) the secret rites of Greek and Roman pagan religion, or of any ancient or tribal religion, to which only initiates are admitted. the practices, skills, or lore peculiar to a particular trade or activity and regarded as baffling to those without specialized knowledge: the mysteries of analytical psychology archaic the Christian Eucharist. 4chiefly Christian Theology a religious belief based on divine revelation, especially one regarded as beyond human understanding: the mystery of Christ an incident in the life of Jesus or of a saint as a focus of devotion in the Roman Catholic Church, especially each of those commemorated during recitation of successive decades of the rosary: the first Sorrowful Mystery, the Agony in the Garden _____________ So... To my mind, G-d & his works are both mysteries. As it is impossible for me to hall full knowledge of either. Just because I can't grok it, though, doesn't make it bad. Just beyond my ken. As are many great things. HOWEVER imperfect my knowledge, my inability to know all things does not negate what I do know.l (or the thing itself) Case in point: I can flip a light switch, change a bulb, throw a breaker, replace a fuse. But I do not know how to wire a house, can barely grasp electron cascading, and anything past 6th form physics is utterly beyond me. A complete mystery. Yet, electricity exists. I am definitely aware of it. I can use it to some extent. It is exceedingly powerful, dangerous to the inept, life saving, life enhancing, etc. Even though I don't grok it, even though its a mystery, I know it. SIMILARLY: My son knows me. With his whole heart and mind, out of all the universe, Im his mum. He knows MAYBE 5% of me. In many ways, parents are mysteries to their kids. Without EVER being unknown to them.