BadWolf

Know what I mean

In reverse order: If Im wrong, Ive had an immensely good time. Concerning 3rd paths... I keep having the conversation with my 10yo: there is an ENOURMOUS difference between lying and being wrong. A binary system is almost always incomplete. For example: take parenting. There are 1001 ways to parent correctly, but only few ways to parent wrong. (Abuse/neglect/absent). So taken on its surface there is a binary system: Right v Wrong. EXCEPT its not binary. There are multiple truths/ best is no longer singular, but becomes bests... When what is best for one child is not best for all). There is a point at which "true" becomes so highly personal that it no longer translates to any other individual. An infinitesimal of truths. That are all true, even while being contradictory. This is my personal belief on religion... That's they're ALL true. That they are each a person relating themselves to God. I have an extremely diverse religious background. In EVERY religion I have spent time in, I have caught glimpses of God. Each and every single one. And EVERY GLIMPSE of God is precious. Without price. Only in the LDS church have I found the spirit present constantly. Only in the LDS church has EVERY feeling of rightness I found in other been amalgamated into a single entity. So, for me, the single best / truth... is the LDS church. For others? How they find God, their glimpses and their constancy, may well be different. Including abandoning religion entirely. The multiplicity of "best". The variance of "truth". Reminds me of a muppets quote W.A.R. We Are Right Risky, that. I don't limit God. I believe that God is as present for others, as he is for me. I believe that I can be RIGHT Without it following that others are wrong. But then, Im also equating churches & religions to parenting styles. Because I believe that God can parent his children differently.

Abusive

I suggest praying for him & asking for blessings & all good things for your friend. Let those with better understanding shape those as they see fit. KWIM? That keeps you honest, as well, as you can tell your friend exactly what you prayed for. If you haven't stumbled across this, yet, the church launched a new website over the holidays: Mormons and Gays You may find some of what either of you are looking for, there. As there is great info both for gay people AND their families.

I need a happy post. What's something good in your life right now? An Easter outfit, an amaaaaazing cookie, a letter from your missionary, new game, act of service, kudos at work, shaved a minute off your mile, had a real conversation with complete sentences last week at 2pm, ate whoosh cream from the can, rocked a homework assignment, copious napping had by all... Something. Anything. Running the entire spectrum of "good". From silly to solid to deeply touching. What's currently uplifting in your lives? * For anyone without kidlets or a taste for children's programming, the title quote is from "Despicable Me" where -after many disasters- a stuffed unicorn is given to a little girl and is what she shouts in pure unadulterated joy as she squashes it to her & thanks them.

I think something that shapes our perception of death, as well, is the manner of it. - I've listened to burn victims, in hospital, scream until they're only capable of sceimg without their voices, for 4 days. That is not a good death. - I've watched/listened to a poor boy cut in half scream for an eternity of minutes. - Ive watched people tortured to death. Ive watched far far too many people die screaming in agony. My SOUL revolts against such a death. In the US, this is a fairly rare thing... But it does happen. Accident victims en route to hospital, burn victims with no chance of survival in hospital, certain forms of cancer that are beyond our ability to manage pain. A gruesome brutal death deserves mercy. There are pieces of myself I can't get back for not helping them. And I didn't even choose not to. In every single case where Ive had to watch someone for screaming in mindless pain and terror, Ive been helpless to give them peace. But I'll tell you something, while I can't imagine a God who would punish mercy, I also don't care about my own death. Some things are just RIGHT. Bone deep, soul deep, right. Someone mentioned "realistic scenario" early on. A lot of our soldiers have PTSD, not from the battle, but from either giving mercy, or being unable to give mercy. (There are other reasons, also). More troops kill themselves every year than are killed in the action they fought in. The US military is our Nation's (if youre American!) largest employer. Others who work in dangerous jobs have a first hand account of grisly deaths too far away from medical treatment to save, as well as those that medicine could never save. Others who live in extreme poverty, watch gangs and cartels torture whole families to death. In a middle class 9-5 world, maybe deaths in screaming agony are unrealistic. That's a GOOD thing. But it doesn't mean they're unrealistic even in our own country, much less in others where conflict is the norm, or medicine is the rarity. How do I feel about laws being passed? Actually ... pretty squidgy. I think that by keeping euthanasia illegal, it keeps assisted suicides to only those for whom it is the moral imperative. HOWEVER, I hope our juries and our spiritual leaders take that into account. On this same subject: My grandfather practiced medicine through WWI and onward. He said that the first 2 great wars were fought mostly by farm boys. They were used to the necessity of putting good animals down. It was the RARE patient of his who didn't believe that a kind and merciful God would judge their actions in ending suffering accordingly. But (again, this is his view of things) as our soldiers became city kids sheltered from death, pain, and suffering... There came the belief that they would go to hell. That their spirits were lost. He said his practice became overwhelmed with those twisting in guilt either over having shot a dying friend to end their pain, believing they were going to hell or perhaps even sent their friend to hell as well, when they were begging to die... Or those twisting in guilt over having NOT helped, falling asleep with screaming in their ears every night. I can't believe this is right, either. So in BadWolf's ideal world... No one dies screaming, and the moral imperative is understood & accounted for. But people are also not throwing their lives away, or taking the last few precious moments. I don't want much, just the world.

Amen.

Coming into this late! Quite possiy repeating, as my phone loads at glacial speeds. If my catholic family wants to hold a mass for me when I pass, I cheer them on. - God knows their hearts. - Any form of constructive (as opposed to self destructive) grieving, that brings them closer to their Heavenly Father ... How can I begrudge them that? My truly atheist friends feel roughly the same way. If I want to pray to MHF, or a blue ball of yarn, they want ME to be happy. They don't believe in God, but they're not militant about it. Its not a religion for them (the branch of atheists who have so much face in proving a negative they possess more Faith than many devout practitioners should really have a different name). The faith-based athiests I know? Its like the two doors wgere one always tells the truth and one always lies. The answer is the same. If they're right then they aren't around to know better, and if Im right they're faith has just been proven wrong and they could REALLY use the spiritual hug. So, neither way is disrespectful. Just my opinion.

Addiction was actually referenced at least once and implied more than once. That our youth are equated /assumed to be at the lowest common denominator irks me. I don't like it as an adult, I don't like it as a parent, and I don't like it as an educator. Are there human turnips? Absolutely. But I find that challenging our youth, and treating adults as competent individuals more than ready to rise to the task at hand... Brings out amazing depths and strengths. Teaching to the lowest common denominator, creates turnips. People rise or fall to the levels expected of them. I have a standing rule for my students: I LOVE the distraction of ringing cell phones, and will gladly take the oppurtunity to not have to repeat myself for the eleventy twelveth time about peat bogs being preservative... And instead chat with whomever is calling them. Or texting. Or emailing. Bwaaahahahaha! Sadly, word gets around that Im lighthearted, but not actually joking. I do, however, invite the use of electronics in my classroom... I just challenge my students not to be rude or obnoxious about them. I also give extra credit for "interesting stuff". And I get a LOT of interesting stuff that way. From thoughts, to articles, to primary sources, to an online edition of Oxford's version of my class just uploaded, to real time sattelite imagry, to plane surveys, the list goes on. All while managing to have alerts, ringers, etc. turned off. As an end result, Im treated to students who are active, involved, and respectful. This is hardly spraining my arm to pay myself on the back. I learned this from my own professors, and most of my colleagues have similar policies. We EXPECT hard work, dedication, and for our students not to be obnoxious. And are rewarded with most of then rising to that challenge. As a parent, I find the same holds true. As a person myself, I find the same holds true. So it drives me a little nuts, when, while Im sure there are drooling, disresoectful, turnip like teens out there incapable of using electronic decicescwith any kind of intentionality... When ALL teens & preteens are lumped into the Addicted to / Spirit isn't as present when YOU read scriptures/ dismissive & disrespectful lumps.

Electronic scriptures are a huge blessing in our house. Do we have physical ones? Sure. Just not - on the train - in the snow - at the beach - in the ER - at gymnastics - at the picnic - at a sleepover - etc. Our physical ones are almost pristine, because they rarely if ever get used. Meanwhile put electronic copies are used and referenced many times daily. My son can, and has... Pulled out his iPhone to read (on his free kindle app) BOM at a secular sleepover (at about 3am. I have his phone set to log *** usage. At a guess from the passages he read. He was sad/ scared/ lonely... But didn't want to "wimp out" and come home). Sounds like total loss of Spirit, right? I'm a bibliophile. I loooove the tactile sensation of paper bound books. But I haven't found....In my own life... that God is limited in his Grace depending on HOW the book is published/bound. Whether electronic, cheap blue paper, or finest leather & vellum... The Spirit doesn't seem to resort to any kind of snobbery or Kryptonite factors. Its only people, I find, that equate what they like best as the best way for all. I have no doubt that the elder spoke true for his own self... That he finds the Spirit more present in the volumes he's loved since childhood... But that doesn't mean that the Spirit is less present with the data files my son cherishes.

Yeah... You know how they say that ADHD is like having every radio station playing at the same time? Or every television station? Or 10 people talking to you at once while you're trying to be doing something? Probably the best way to explain it, even though its a little 2D that way, since we also have sensory information uploading all the time, and emotional reactions to each of those radio stations/TV/conversations. We're not distracted because we can't think, we're distracted because we can't stop thinking. S'also why things that distract neurotypical folk are focusing to us. Like having the radio & TV on while doing homework (means we only have 3 things to "filter" instead of 50... Or playing loud music to drown out thoughts that aren't focused on homework the same way that someone might turn on music to drown out the neighbors kids throwing a tantrum. But for people who have monofocus, blaring music destroys their focus. I looooooove the DSMVs new classification of all ADHD has the "H", because hyperactivity is ALWAYS present. ADHD-h = hyperactive physical ADHD-i = hyperactive mental ADHD-c = hyperactive both physically & mentally I'm super grateful Im ADHD-c... Because I get a break from myself. When my body is moving, my mind is still. When my mind is moving, my body is still.

Art-Style tagging is actually something of a competitive sport. In places where its either legal or not prosecuted, one actually finds the BEST competition. If he's in it for the art & recognition... The thrill will still be there, because the competition will still be there. While, yes, in legal places sometimes people work in broad daylight in busy streets full of people watching... That doesn't garner as many "points" as your piece just magically appearing. So people still rig harnesses, work at night, and work really hard not to get caught. I can see relating art-tagging to mountain climbing, surfing, skiing... Or any other adrenaline junkie kind of sport... But not a useless addiction that only causes pain & suffering. Just because someone skis backcountry (or competition, or even just learning where the bunny slope requires every ounce) for the thrill/challenge/skill needed... Just because its thrilling... Doesn't follow that its comparable to sitting around with a needle in your arm, or have 20 doctors and pharmacies popping pills. Tagging really is a valid Artform + Competitive sport all in one. Check this out graffitimundo | Buenos Aires street art & graffiti Now... Alison's husband may care nothing for the art... But most tagged care for 3 things - Art - Difficulty - Recognition ((Edited to remove accidental icon. If its still there, ignore the thumb!))

I like this list, by the by. My immediate assumption is an acute issue. Whether joyful or terrible, shocking or long coming.. I like that my brain's "gut" reaction, that not coping is a momentary inconvienced. In the long term... OF COURSE... It will be sorted / dealt with/ managed/ etc. When, really, people are often unable to cope over years & decades. PTSD, depression, eating disorders, abusive relationships, sabotaging relationships, never realized potential, bitterness, etc., in the negative sphere... And an equal number of positive consequences (like not being able to cope with "insert awful thing here" leading to positive change over years). Anyhow... Fun Q!

Changed course Laughed, out of startled awareness Collapsed Questioned wildly, trying to find a cause, a solution, a way out Sought out his friends Turned around Reached behind himself, blindly, grasping the wall Closed his eyes and took a deep breath Felt sick, dizzy, numb Turned on his heel and strode out Took to her heels and ran as fast as she could Shouted 'No!' Felt his throat tighten spasmodically Caught the eyes of So&So across the room Fell into strong arms Shook his head, to clear it Lashed out Set his jaw Eyes lit up with excitement Spun in place, barely able to contain her joy Caught her breath in her throat, hoping, hoping that this could be try Grinned wickedly Grinned idiotically Fanned herself Bit her lip to keep from crowing in victory Leapt from his chair whooping in victory Spun her around in unadulterated bliss Turned to her neighbor, talking animatedly Um... This list keeps going. Asking an ADHD person the FIRST thing that comes to mind gets a kaleidoscope of images. I had to write this in order But these are all (and about 20 or 50 others) my FIRST thought. My SECOND thought are all the back stories that create these possibilities. Typically 6 or 7 back stories to each possibility. That's the blank look "we" give others, so often, following a simple question. Its not that we don't know an answer or have an opinion, its that we need to soft and sort through a welter of conflicting imagery & possibilities. Also the source if a lot of annoying "unrelated" questions. To try and narrow the field of possible answers. <grin> Since you're polling for thought processes... Figured I'd be honest.

ETA... To me, that tagging is illegal where you are, is like it being illegal for women to hold jobs in other areas. Just because a thing is illegal doesn't make it morally wrong. Some, of course, will want to stay in place in order to further the cause of what they feel to be an unjust law. Others will move to a city/ region/ country that has different laws. He wants to pursue his art You want him to not be breaking the law 1+2= TOTALLY doable. It just needs some research to find a place where you can both have what you want.

As an anthropogist.... I loooooooove graffiti. There are many different types of current graffiti. - gang tags - boundary markers (may or may not be gang related) - intentional defacement / destruction of property &/or harassment of individuals or groups - political - message - underground art - etc. Its illegal in most places in the US (not all, some urban areas -even a few rural- encourage specific types of tagging), but hardly illegal everywhere. Some entire countries, and many whole cities have laws that either protect graffiti, or encourage certain forms of it while outlawing others. The subculture still exists, of course, in places where its either not illegal or outright encouraged. With rules (like not being seen, respecting others work, difficulty of placement, skill/style/form, message, etc.). So the challenge/ thrill/difficulty is still vety much a part of it... without the risk of jail. Some places, like Buenos Aires & Rome, the best artwork is a point of pride for the city... With tours/advertising/etc. Would moving for his art be something that, as a family, you would be willing to consider? BW

I'm splitting my time between YA Dystopic SciFi & 1930s murder mysteries :) Nero Wolf is an old friend Divergence has some serious potential

My arabic is too rusty for the true version... But I love and adore the transition by Tarif Khalidi. He keeps a lot of the poetry and power alive, where so many fall flat. (I lived in the ME & NAfrica for some time). From one of my favorite suras... On prophecy / revelation If every tree on earth was a pen Refilled by the sea With 7 more seas beside The word of God would not be exhausted God is all knowing, all wise BW

One of my favorite quotes: Forgiveness = Giving up all hope for a better past. ________________________ For the present? Some practical ways to get toxic thinking barreled : 1) Get outside yourself by helping others 2) The "And Then What?" Game. God DOESN'T let her have any happiness in her life, because she was mean to you. And then what? She lives a life of pain, misery, & suffering. And then what? She never has the opportunity to grow or become better as a person/spirit And then what? She makes no one else's life better for her being in it. And then what? And then what? An innumerable number of spirits lost. And then what? God, in his justness, allows NO ONE to be happy who has ever been mean to anyone. And then what? All children die, to punish their parents And then what? ... Really it just gets super bleak at this point. Dante style bleak. The "And then what?" Game works for a LOTTA stuff Both negative And positive I want to throw a bday party for my husband And then what? I need to plan it And then what? I need to work out a budget And then what? I'm FAT!!! I'm never eating again! And then what? I starve to death Okay... Maybe not the best idea. But! I'll stop before I die? And then what? I'll just live with major organ damage, Okay. No sweets! And then what? No birthday cake. Okay. Perhaps I limit my sweets to special occasions. But it REALLY works on the Itty Bitty Snitty Commitee that can rant/resent/throw a snit whenever anything goes wrong, or not as right as it might. ATW? ... Instead of keeping one firmly in the past (which can't be changed) moves ones focus to the present/future... Where one CAN change things. And hey, who knows? Maybe Dude is the only person in the hemisphere who can teach her compassion. Although, by being mean to you, I bet you're getting the "oppurtunity" to learn and practice compassion yourself. As well as how to lay boundaries, explore your own spiritual foundations, help others, etc. I personally loathe these "opportunities". Just not as much as I loathe learning nothing from events/people Id rather have not had to experience.

No. Of course not. The OP came to the conclusion/or posed the question that as a faithful Latter Day Saint, they must oppose same sex marriage laws being enacted (as Im sure, do many). I come to the opposite conclusion. As, Im sure, do many. The reasons I listed were mine. I cannot, in good conscience, believe or act otherwise. That hardly means that my way is the only way, and disparages everyone else's beliefs that disagree with mine. 'Reasonable people can and do differ'. Especially in politics & parenting. 2 faithful people can have differing political views, without it making one persons faith null and void. We are using the same principles to come to two separate conclusions.

ROFL Just doing my part to make sure Rose can save the Doctor! (And the known universe ; ) Back awaaaaaay with that rolled up newspaper.

:(QUESTION: As a faithful Latter-day Saint who desires to follow God and His prophets, how can I do anything besides oppose same-sex marriages within society? ____________ As a faithful Latter Day Saint I HAVE to support same sex marriage. - Separation of church & state - Seperate but not equal ... Does not work Enacting MY rigorous beliefs into law is as repugnant to me, as enacting any other faith's beliefs into law. I firmly and strongly believe that our government should be kept a secular authority. As such, I believe that there should be 1 law for 1 people. All consenting adults allowed to legally marry whomsoever they choose, regardless of race, religion, creed, sex, socioeconomic status, genetic conditions, etc. Discriminating against ANY group (born or self selecting) from entering into a mutually agreed upon legal contract? Not only, no, but heck NO! The laws that apply to one should apply to all. Human rights are non-negotiable. Similarly, all faiths should (and are) allowed to marry (or seal) according to their own doctrines, mores, & precepts. If THEY want to define marriage, and to outline who shall or shall not be allowed to marry within their faith, great! That's their right. I hold this close to my heart, as the absolute need for the Stare to be a secular governing authority with 1 law for all. My church may refuse to marry anyone it chooses... But my government better not! BW

4) There's this thing called 'reverse logic' Sick people take pills Therefore... If I don't take pills I won't get sick! Failing is a SIDE EFFECT of having choices. Not the inverse. There were 2 plans on the table. Agency & Failure No Agency & No Failure. Agency is only irrelavent if there is no failure. _______________ But lets look at failure, for a moment, because that's the scary thing... Right? Okay. What does 'created to fail' mean? What's the context? Not rich and famous? Not happy? Not old (aka die young)? Not married? Not neurotypical? Not... What? In order to define 'created to fail', one kind of has to describe 'success'. Is there a time limit? Who is judging the failure & success, here? Who do YOU define as having failed? There's a wee bit of a problem, in that question, because it really DOES require judging another SPIRIT. Now... I judge people all the time. I judge them as smart, dangerous, kind, cruel, what have you. I have, and do defend the need to judge people. Doesn't mean Im right in my judgements, but it does keep me from jogging through Central Park at night. Keeps me from handing over my son to a convicted pedophile to be babysat. Makes me friends, and enemies, and shapes my life. But in judging spirits. Thankfully, sooo not my job. What you're asking, though, REQUIRES judging spirits. As the only way possible to tell if they've passed/failed. So there's a whole series of problems just from "go", in assuming God DID make some people expressly to fail. ... But lets assume failure is a possibility... Even though we don't know what exactly 'to Fail' means. (Or at least, I don't.) Because some people/spirits MAY fail... What do we do about that? As parents, should all parents abort their children? Should we initiate a genocide? Should we not allow people to have the CHANCE at success? Which is more unfair? Not allowing the chance of success... Or not allowing failure? ______ For myself... While the idea of failing may be scary Not being given a shot at success? Never even given a chance? Never given a choice, never given the trust to make a choice, much less the right one for myself??? I know what I would choose. Even knowing the risks. I know what I would choose. And its a kind omniscient & omnipotent being that would give me that chance. Even if he "knew" I'd fail, because he's already read to the end of the book He let me choose to TRY. Which would you choose?

Well... 50 isn't as old as you think it is. 15-25 more years of working (means figuring out a career at 50 if that's when you can start, is pretty vital to not die of boredom & starvation), still young enough to father children as a man or to adopt as a man or woman. Still young enough to live, and to love, and create joy. If that's your choice. Just to be honest, there are things *I* won't forgive (there are 6 or 7 things that I, personally, can't get over). And it could be very Groucho Marx... While there are undoubtedly people who wouldn't blink twice at your past, you might not want to "join any club that would have you as a member". But while "the world" may not forgive... Individuals certainly, do. I would never forgive something many other people would. And vice versa. Some things others find as deal breakers I don't blink twice at. I'm not saying its all going to be rainbows and unicorns. I'm not saying that a lot of life doesn't boil down to luck and timing. I'm not saying its not reasonable to get down about things that can't be changed. But. I've found that life is usually what we make of it. Giving up seems premature. If it takes decades to sort? The time will pass, no matter what. Where do you want to stand at the end of that? Having it sorted, or not? Making the best of your time here, or living in fear? I'm not saying go run out & start dating. Do that temporal work. A LOT of us have work to do (or should do) before dragging someone else in. Become the person you want to be. The person you would want FOR your spouse. I can't promise you that everything will work out. That's between you and God. But what I can promise you is that time will pass. And how you spend that time is up to you. You can't control other people. You often can't even control places (aka where you are). But you CAN control you. Your mind & your heart, in whatever place/with whatever people ... Wherever you go, there you are. The best of a bad situation, or the worst of a great one; is in the hands, hearts, and minds of those walking it.

So.... My son does this thing that drives me BONKERS. If he can't have "it" right now... He doesn't want it. Except. I do the same thing. (With a tweak) If I can't have something right now, Im AFRAID I'll never have it. Despite ample (and almost constant) evidence to the contrary. Things do change. And many things I have now, I was afraid I never would. Now... If you've got a terminal illness, are 104, etc... Then it might be a bit too late in this life. But if you aren't dead, yet... And you're working toward something... ?