Gwen

So kinda jumping back to older posts ......... This is the first time I've ever heard anything about not wearing just one part of the garments. I kinda find that odd. I mean I understand they are a "set" and all that but.... I don't know, I see it as do what you can when you can. I can't wear the bottoms for whatever reason, that's fine but I can wear the top, so I do. It's the spirit of things. Like fasting, sometimes you can't do a full fast but you do what you can. Anyway, that just threw me. I'll always go back to the counsel that wearing the garment is between the person and the lord and I feel good about the decisions I've made concerning my garments so all is well. As for the postpartum bleeding somehow I didn't know anything about it with my first either. Maybe it's not talked about enough or I tuned it out as well. I think when it's talked about it's usually understated. It is a lot of blood. It's not "period like" in my opinion. But then I also think periods are often understated for young women. I remember being told "at first it will just be a little spotting" and having had a period many years now I would say it that way as well. But for a young girl whose only experience with blood is a small cut or something it doesn't seem like "spotting". My first heavy period I honestly thought I was going to bleed to death. lol

Trust your instincts. If something makes you uncomfortable analyze it well and decide if it should be listened to. Set appropriate boundaries accordingly. I would find out more about the boy's issues. It may be that just the unknown is what is bothering you. Once you know more you may feel better..... or at least feel more justified in your decision. It also gives a chance for family to explain what actions are being taken to keep your child safe if there is a danger. "Danger" can be "small things". If the kid has biting issues then I would consider my child in danger. If your child had issues it would be your responsibly to come up with a plan that keeps others safe, even if that means not participating until you got it under control.

I was kinda hoping I got to pick and choose which "hairs" I got to keep. Every hair on the head that I desire to be restored. I also have to admit though I'm looking forward to my husband getting his hair back I really don't want to spend eternity kissing cousin it. Which now has me wondering, do I even get a say? It seems fair that I should decide what I look like and what my husband looks like for eternity, right? lol

Even if a lot of ppl don't show you can still bond and have a great group. The group I was in didn't have that many, if everyone showed we'd maybe have 20 ppl there. lol We had a very close group and had a lot of fun together. Board games can be a lot of fun. Get some that require more interaction. 'Last word' is a lot of fun. 'The game of life' is too. We went roller skating, mini golf, beach, etc. Any time we combined with another stake we always worked in a fireside and dance with other activities (never did less than a full day). lol

Every woman's after situation will be different. My first was very heavy and I wore the hospital mesh undies and pads for almost a week. #5 wasn't too bad, so I was able to treat it like would a normal period. I think when to put the garments back on is totally up to you. I wore my tops in the hospital but not the bottoms. I put my bottoms back on when I could use normal pads for the bleeding. My sister had a c-section and was advised to get some depends. I'm not sure how long she wore those but said it worked out well for her.

Doesn't seem out of place at all to me. Our leaders quote good sources all the time that are not lds. Truth is truth no matter where it is found.... and sometimes it might even be within the lds church. lol

I had a friend that got her nails done. A couple days later she was at the dr because her finger was swollen and turning green. She apparently got an infection from the nail place. Pretty gross.

Like dravin my thoughts remain the same. Such a woman does not want to be married.

I had a lot to say. And then I deleted it all. I'll leave it with this..... I think a man who makes such statements (justified or not) doesn't want to be married.

I like to scan or take pics of things and then let the kids keep it. At first I wanted to save things so when the kids brought them home they became mine, in some folder or something (especially certificates and ribbons). But then nothing happened with them. I told myself they would want them one day so I was "keeping it safe for them". And then I realized, they want them today. When they are 30 they won't care about the old worn out 1st grade all A ribbon they got. They are proud today. So now I take a picture and then they get to have it. They carry it around, wear it, play with it, pin it on the wall and whatever else makes their heart happy. And then when it's falling apart I ask them if it's time to throw it away or do they want to put it in their folder. They usually throw it away. They do sometimes bring home special projects (like painting on a canvas) and those are different. I have a specific room just for kids art and it's their own little gallery. Even nice seasonal stuff stays up all year. They seem to enjoy that as well.

I asked because rayhale asked in post #4 if one would change the wording. And then in post #5 they said they had been in meetings where rice cakes were used instead. So I was curious what was done when they saw something different used. Had they already answered their own question and not realized it? lol in my opinion it really doesn't matter what you use but the prayer would stay the same. Being an ordinance it must be done "right" every time. If the priesthood holder saying the prayer misses a word or something they have to do it over. It's not assumed that "God knew what they meant". The prayer matters. However, what is used not so much. It's symbolic and if bread or water is not available then the lord expects us to do what we can. Doesn't bother me one way or the other.

When they did that was the prayer "bread" or "rice cakes"?

I enjoy playing with it. Used it to get my husband to be able to see my vision for our laundry room makeover.... now to find the money to actually do it. lol

I don't think it's premature. Not being members does mean they are not under commandment to pay tithes but he is still their bishop. The bishop is over the welfare of the entire area not just members. They have disabled children and no health insurance, he is exactly the one to counsel with. Especially if they want to make covenants and have the best support in keeping them.

Tithing is one of those things that no one will be able to convince you is true or "real". You do it or you don't; you learn for yourself or you don't. Most teach tithing with antidote stories. I wish I could offer you more but I can't. Most stories show some kind of immediate reward for paying tithing. Mine doesn't and that's about all I can say for what makes mine different. So here is mine. Things had always been tight (still are but getting better). Sometimes very very tight. We always broke at 0 or slightly under by payday. I did worry about where we'd get the money for the things we needed. We had young children, my husband was the sole wage earner. I will admit to sometimes getting so upset and pleading with god about what we did that was so wrong "we pay our tithing, you promised, why aren't you taking care of us." We spent yrs in this financially tight way of living. And then my husband's ex decided she was taking us to court to increase the child support. We didn't have the money, we borrowed money for a lawyer (she had 2 incomes, remarried, and we always paid full support) so it was devastating that they could do this without consideration of our children. Our lawyer gave us a paper to fill out to use to contest the change in amt. It was basically an itemization to prove we didn't have the money. It was a very painful process. We couldn't count things that the courts counted as optional, like tithing, as an expense. When we got done the report showed that we busted by the same amt every month. That amt was the same as our tithing. We weren't busting that much, we were breaking even on the good months. If we counted tithing it would double the amt. If she had not taken us to court I would have never known what blessings the lord was giving us but clearly the math wasn't there, the lord was. My point is you may hear some of the immediate blessing stories and those are great. You might even have one of your own some day. But you also may not. Mine is looking back over yrs of not being able to see it and potentially having never seen it. Just because we don't see it doesn't mean the lord's hand isn't there. Talk to your bishop. Yes even if you are not yet a member he is still your bishop. You live in the boundaries he was given stewardship for, talk to him, let him know what is going on. Also look for other organizations that can help with the disabilities of your children. If you are in the US there is a Children's Rehab Services in every state. They help with my son's neurologist and meds (he has epilepsy). You may qualify for something like that, the rules are different than most public assistance and even though you may not qualify for them you may qualify for this. Can't hurt to ask. Tithing isn't an easy doctrine to live. It almost kept my family from joining the church. It's a very individual experience for each person and the lord. I wish you the most in your journey.

If my kids have a toy that is special to them I don't require them to share (especially if it's new/gift), even with guests. If it's not special then we share. I don't do a lot of play dates so I can't really say a whole lot. lol One thing I do recommend is keep your rules reasonable for your home as well as thinking about the expectation that creates when your kids go elsewhere. My kids had a friend that when they went over it was the attitude of "the guest gets whatever they want". You play what the guest wants to play, they play with whatever they want, you cater to your guest. That's not how it is in my house and when those friends would come over they wanted to push my kids around (and yes it crossed the rude line) "you have to, i'm the guest". I understand the mom's intention but I think it went a bit too far. I encourage my kids to treat their guests politely and you do cater to them a certain amount but at the end of the day if you are in my home you are family, you are like everyone else. The kids friends help with dishes and setting the table if they are there at meal time. I will tell my kids if there isn't enough to share or if everyone can't play a game that they will have to wait until their guests leave. We try not to be rude. But it's fair across the board. right/wrong, better/worse... I don't know. It's just how I do things. lol

Just remember even Jesus' parents lost him (for 3 days). No matter how many mistakes I've made I've never forgotten a kid for 3 days. lol If they were good enough to be the parents of the savior of the world then I'm doing ok. Forgive yourself. You will make mistakes and I know you don't feel it now but you will laugh about it one day (probably by the time he's 5). *hugs* edit: also might be time to consider a hide a key. :)

So D confronted my son in gym today wanting to know why he would say things about him. After some confusion they figured out that R told D that my son said they were kissing. So they went and found R who quickly said it was a joke and that he didn't tell anyone else. I updated the principle (as he was going to look into the situation tomorrow) so I'm sure R will still have some answering to do. lol Maybe R will learn a lesson about what is "funny"?

It sounds like you are pretty sure just looking for proof. I think you need to put your energy into protecting the kid(s). How many do you have? How old is the one involved? This could be a very damaging situation for them. If you feel that pressed for evidence before moving forward hire a PI for awhile, get what you need for closure and start working on healing the family.

Are they "sexy" undies or just something practical (like for dr appointments or period)? If "sexy" does she ever wear them for you? You don't have to actually answer that by the way. If they are sexy and she's hiding them then I might be worried. Otherwise.... Keep in mind that the wearing of the garments is between the person and the lord and she may have fair reasons for doing what she is doing.

So I liked the idea of talking to the school counselor. A way to investigate without blowing it up or making my son ask the questions. I talked to her this morning. She said she can't imagine why any boy this age would bring such attention to himself (speaking of D) even if he did have a crush. She is assuming R is starting something with lies of his own. Which she says is a disciplinary issue and needs to go to the principle not her. She is passing the info along (principle was in a meeting) and will have the principle call me. Sigh, some days I really consider home schooling.

Confirming if D actually said it is something I've considered. But how do I go about doing that without setting E up in an potentially bad situation? I'm not sure given the bullying in the past if E should be the one confronting him. From what I'm getting about D he has not been one of E's bullies but some of his friends may be. Also the comment about him not being popular but some of his friends are is a red flag that D may be being bullied in this as well. There are a lot of questions but I don't think E can get the answers.... which brings us back to involve the principle or ignore it? I have also considered that this is D's awkward way of expressing a crush.

Sigh. Ok so my oldest son, E (who was just diagnosed with Asperger's, 6th grade), has been having a hard time with bullying. It's been a battle with the school to get them to understand that he is a target and is not egging it on in some way. Today he came home with one I'm not sure what to tell him to do. I know what I would do but I'm not sure it's the "right" thing to do. Here is the situation. A friend came up to my son at school today (we'll call the friend R) and told him that another boy (who we'll call D) told R, "E and I (D) kiss in the bathroom every day after school". So R thinks E should be aware of what D is saying about him. What does D gain by saying this about my son? Any rumor like that he is spreading he is bringing the same upon himself. I asked a few questions about D and my son doesn't know him very well. He said that he isn't popular but does have some popular friends. My son only has one class with D and that's gym (the entire grade has the same gym). So again, if he doesn't know him why pick E. My personal reaction would be to laugh it off. Tell R something like "Do you believe all the rumors and gossip you hear? You know me and I didn't kiss D in the bathroom." And then ignore it and see if it goes away. If it grows then take more direct action. E wanted to know if we should talk to the principle about it. I'm not sure a middle school principle will care about gossip at this point and there are so much bigger issues I've had to fight with him about. I don't want him to become "the tattle tale" but I will stand up for my son. What would you tell your kid?

Maybe she was inspired to leave the airport where the lord already knew there was a member that would approach her. We are in a small town and had missionaries assigned to our area with no directions. They didn't even know where the apartment or the church was. They wandered past walmart and decided they would pick up a few things while they figured out what to do. I happened to see them across the parking lot so I called out to them. They seemed very thrilled to have someone that could tell them where to find things. Sometimes answers to inner pleadings aren't experiences of majesty. Sometimes it's just a random thought of "let's stop stressing a min and pick up something from the store" or "I need to get out of this noise so I don't lose it and pray for help." Congrats to your niece and your family.

Is your ex also a member? If so, and these accusations have been repeatedly investigated and found false, then she should be under consideration for disciplinary action. I would be very careful trying to bring your entire church records into it. There is a reason the courts make that door hard to open and once it's open you can't close it. Once an accusation has been investigated and found false it should be tossed. It should not be following you unless the bishop was not satisfied that it was false and it's still under investigation. Assuming it's even an issue the church cares about (abuse, not paying child support, etc.). If it's just "I think he's a mean jerk" then it's irrelevant and the church should disregard it as a whole. I would continue to press the issue until you saw the letters. I don't know the legalities of getting copies but if they are following you in your records then they are yours and you should be able to obtain them on your own. Anything you own you can submit (just be prepared for her lawyer to try and exclude it as confidential if she is also active in church).