Jane_Doe

Beautifully said. 

One of the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, written in the '30's about her childhood in the 1800's, gives a very descriptive account of depression.  Young Laura turns 14, and is shipped off to another town to teach school.  She lives with a couple, and the description of the wife just screams depression.  Poor Laura listens through a blanket, to them fight through the night, recounts all the things the wife says.   It's a two room cabin.  It ends with an intense fight where the wife grabs a knife and tries to kill herself, and the husband has to wrestle it away from her.   The next morning, everybody sits and has breakfast at the table like nothing ever happened.
No, it wasn't "such a big deal" - it was misunderstood, undiagnosed, and ignored.   People figured out how to resolve it, live with it, or succumb to it in ways that brought shame to the whole family.  
Good reading: Myths about Mental Illness By Elder Alexander B. Morrison Of the Seventy

I love your compassion for her, that speaks very highly of you  
You ask “what are we to do” but then you mention that you don’t believe in therapy or medication. These are common remedies, and the church has no problem with them. 
 
Have you listened to Elder Hollands talk, “Like a Broken Vessel?” An AMAZING talk by an amazing man. Deals with mental illness issues. 
 
I’m praying for your friend, and for you. Mental illness is so, so hard. 

It still is. If we could view many of our human faults through the lens of empathy and understanding that mental illness requires, we would find our life ministering efforts more effective and our character more godly and charitable.

Any advice for those of us whose children are all becoming atheists because our ward is rather elitist and the teens snub our kids for being in the "poor part of the ward?" Yes, one of my girls actually had another girl say that too her. She also once bought a shirt at DI that she really was excited about because she used her own money. Her "friend" in the ward said, "we don't shop at DI because my mom said, that is where people go that are too lazy to get a good paying job."
Frankly, if I did not already have a testimony I would probably be at the least and agnostic.

My two sons both went through the temple for their endowments on the same day.  I'm so very proud of both of them.
For the prayer circle, my wife stood with my eldest (Ffenix) and my mother-in-law stood with the younger (The Bear).  Meanwhile, my FIL and I sat in the seats as the only attendees without partners.  The two ladies later remarked how fulfilled they felt, standing with their son and grandson respectively.  They felt so proud of them.  I think I even saw a tear from each of their eyes.
When it came time to go through, the two young men were scheduled to be last.  That meant that parents and grandparents were waiting in the Celestial Room for them.  As they came in one-at-a-time, I reached out to each and whispered in his ear, "Welcome to the Celestial Kingdom."  
The older son is known for being rather emotionless.  But the embrace he gave me at that moment was like nothing I've ever received from him.  And for just that short time, I really felt like I was in the Celestial Kingdom.
Afterward, I took advantage of being in the Celestial Room to speak a bit more openly about some lessons I'd learned in the temple.  I also said more things that I cannot write, but felt inspired by the Spirit to teach them at that time.
It was rather disappointing when the temple matron informed us that we had to leave to allow the next session to have the Celestial Room to themselves.
I really want the temples open NOW!

Hi mama, I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you and your son have been going through.
So, we got a few things going on:
- Not being transferred to the "original" mission assignment.  Yeah, that is a major rainy-day.  COVID sucks.  There could be a million reasons for how things are going the way they are, lots of it not related directly to your son himself-- stuff like covid restrictions, visa complications, etc.   It's miserable, but honestly not much anything any person can do.  My deepest sympathies.  
- As to your son receiving medical treatment: any adult must consent to counseling and/or medication-- everything must be done with your son's approval.  HIPPA laws forbid telling an adult's medical treatment to another person.  If you son choose to tell you about his medical stuff, then he can.  But other people legally cannot.  This is the same as if he were to be in college dorms, just living & working on his own, etc.  I worked at a college for many years, particularly with freshman for many years and... like I had cases where students were being beaten by their boyfriend, suicidal, major medical issues etc.  Legally, these were private matters and I was not allowed to discuss with others including their parents (there were exceptions for police, Student Affairs, etc).   
Speaking personally, my first two years of college were a disaster and I worried my mother sick.  I was depressed, anxious, hated my surroundings, etc.   But it did turn out alright.  If you want to talk more, feel free to shoot me a PM.  

One of the latest mass shootings hit VERY close to home for me- metaphorically and literally.  The shooter lived within a quarter mile of me, I delivered newspapers to his house growing up, he was on the same sports team as my husband (years removed in time), my best friend drove the shooter's bus to events, the shooting place was within a mile of my grandma's house at her grocery store (obviously I've been there too).  I listened to all of the "let's defund the police!" local news last summer, and now an officer is dead and many others.
I... have a lot of thoughts on this, which I will have to figure out how to write down later today.  No, the reaction shouldn't be "DC needs tighter gun control!"- such really seems to be ignoring the very real pain the local community is feeling.  These aren't about the need for more regulation, they aren't about race, they aren't about drugs, they.... they're about real people really really hurting, before and after.

Hi Comp,
My son is in a similar position as your son, and I am a little late in viewing this thread. My son was out 9 months when he returned home due to Covid. He was originally serving in Mexico. In the beginning I told my wife that come January if he hasn't been reassigned back to Mexico then he will most likely stay where he is currently serving.
Come January my son was still in his current serving area, while missionaries he was on the plane with going home are now back in their original mission. In January, the moment my wife told me that he was starting to show some despondency -- which is perfectly normal and understandable. I sent him an email specifying the reasoning I think he has remained, and it is really simple. Think about missionaries when it first started. Any missionary with less than 6 months (I think it was 6 months) were sent home, there mission ended. I believe it is the same. All the missionaries that are now back in their original mission have more than 6 months. My son has less than six months at that time. It is more profitable (not necessarily money, but more as time and service of missionary). If a missionary has less than six months is it more wise to keep them where they are -- the answer is yes.
I'm sorry for your son, it is heart breaking for these young men/women. My son was just getting into the language, he was so looking forward to going back to Mexico. Remember, the Church did give the option to wait and then be reassigned back to their original mission. My son, didn't want to wait, and with not waiting came the possibility of not going back. He is now good, he understands, and is working where he stands.
Wish the best for your son, especially in overcoming any form of despondency and disappointment, which is all too real for someone in that circumstance.

Thank you so much

Thank you for your love and prayers, truly. I came here because there's no one I want to talk to about it in person, at this time. And you have been very kind and helpful.
Thank you for trying to understand. When it comes to details about the hard time he's had, I either don't actually know anything myself or don't want to share personal info about him. It feels too vulnerable to post publicly, so I was hoping to keep it vague. Thanks again.

You're so missed!!!

A therapist exists to help you go where you want to go (and are willing to put the effort into thus).  You want one that respects your values/beliefs, even if they themselves don't share it. 
A lot of the time therapy does involve approaching a problem from a different angle.  There are plenty of time where that problem can be influenced by religious belief, and the new different angle is still within religious orthodoxy..  

Hey guys, it's MormonGator. Wanted to stop by for a minute. 

It's highly ironic that I'm wearing a mask, getting vaccinated....I'm the one following Prophetic counsel and guys like @mirkwood and @Vort aren't. Never thought you would see this day, huh? 

Just playing.
Love y'all! Hope everything is great! 

Actual woman here
I want to hear good messages, and I really don't care what the speaker looks like / gender / nationality /etc.  Really don't care.  
That being said, I do know faithful LDS woman whom do desire to have both gender partners speaking.  Somebody that they feel has traveled a road more similar to theirs and can relate to the hard / good times they are going through.   And I understand and sympathize with that.  

A therapist exists to help you go where you want to go (and are willing to put the effort into thus).  You want one that respects your values/beliefs, even if they themselves don't share it. 
A lot of the time therapy does involve approaching a problem from a different angle.  There are plenty of time where that problem can be influenced by religious belief, and the new different angle is still within religious orthodoxy..  

It wasn't so long ago that I decided to take advantage of some of my employee benefits and set up a time to chat with a counselor. One can actually get EXTREMELY specific about where one wants a counselor to come from and even include faith in a session.

I didn’t read the article in detail but in the past I have done a bit of study about therapists and their relationship with religious orthodoxy and how they approach it.
From what I understand, the role of a therapist is to help those struggling emotionally, mentally and spiritually come to terms with their feelings, develop a healthy mindset toward and cope with issues in their life. When a person of an heavily orthodox / covenantal religion sees a therapist, I can see it being difficult to suggest things, particularly when you are a member of the same religion.
For the majority of the time, a therapist is not a doctor (though they may have a doctorate degree). Most of what they are saying is just probing and trying to understand. They offer solutions to the feelings they feel. From what I have experienced, they will offer a solution or task to do, if I didn’t feel comfortable doing it, they never pushed it further, but moved in to other solutions and approaches.
In the initial example, I would say it is well within the therapists means to suggest not reading scriptures. If someone came to me, a person who is not a therapist, and says reading scriptures gave them a large amount of anxiety, I may suggest taking a Hiatus from reading scriptures. Maybe I would suggest specific talks to read instead. Focus on reading talks from Eyring, Holland, and Suarez. And for the time being, avoid Oaks, Bednar, Renlund, packer, and McConkie. And perhaps focus on strengthening their prayer and try to understand how God true Lely sees them, the role sin plays in our life and how repentance, guilt and shame all play together.
In more difficult situations, where homosexuality and transgender is played, I think it is healthy to at least admit such feelings aloud to one’s self.  Then have a conversation about sharing them with family members and others.
I remember my brother (now sister) experiencing intense amounts of social anxiety, depression, and feeling he was actually a she. He went to go see a therapist of the Latter-day Saint faith about the whole thing and the therapist helped him come to the conclusion that he does indeed see himself as a she. That step right there took a HUGE wait off her back. The therapist, from what I understand, never suggest to transition, leave the church, or any of the like. However, once my sister made the decision to no longer attend church and socially transition, the therapist was there as a tool for her to cope with the anxieties and stresses that came with it.
When you go see a therapist, there must be a dialogue at some point about what religious steps you are uncomfortable taking. It’s not their job to make sure you continue living and orthodoxy life and obeying all the letter and spirit of the law commandments, particularly when you do t even want to be active. The role of a therapist is to help people cope with their feelings, and in some cases, keep you from killing yourself.
Unless steps have been made the clarify how important your religious life is, it is not inappropriate for a therapist to say things like this.

One of the latest mass shootings hit VERY close to home for me- metaphorically and literally.  The shooter lived within a quarter mile of me, I delivered newspapers to his house growing up, he was on the same sports team as my husband (years removed in time), my best friend drove the shooter's bus to events, the shooting place was within a mile of my grandma's house at her grocery store (obviously I've been there too).  I listened to all of the "let's defund the police!" local news last summer, and now an officer is dead and many others.
I... have a lot of thoughts on this, which I will have to figure out how to write down later today.  No, the reaction shouldn't be "DC needs tighter gun control!"- such really seems to be ignoring the very real pain the local community is feeling.  These aren't about the need for more regulation, they aren't about race, they aren't about drugs, they.... they're about real people really really hurting, before and after.

Actual woman here
I want to hear good messages, and I really don't care what the speaker looks like / gender / nationality /etc.  Really don't care.  
That being said, I do know faithful LDS woman whom do desire to have both gender partners speaking.  Somebody that they feel has traveled a road more similar to theirs and can relate to the hard / good times they are going through.   And I understand and sympathize with that.  

Actual woman here
I want to hear good messages, and I really don't care what the speaker looks like / gender / nationality /etc.  Really don't care.  
That being said, I do know faithful LDS woman whom do desire to have both gender partners speaking.  Somebody that they feel has traveled a road more similar to theirs and can relate to the hard / good times they are going through.   And I understand and sympathize with that.  

Actual woman here
I want to hear good messages, and I really don't care what the speaker looks like / gender / nationality /etc.  Really don't care.  
That being said, I do know faithful LDS woman whom do desire to have both gender partners speaking.  Somebody that they feel has traveled a road more similar to theirs and can relate to the hard / good times they are going through.   And I understand and sympathize with that.  

Random thought/comment.  I am glad I grew up kind of poor.  I am very appreciative of what I have and what I have accomplished for myself and my family in my life.  I went to the "rich" high school and saw most of classmates have everything.  I have run into some of those classmates over the years.  Some of them are still pompous ________.  smh.

Old friend from way back in jr. High. Beautiful, slender, always looks great. Married young, very successful husband, big and beautiful home, bunch of kids, annual vacations.
Well, learned today she's battling cancer, has a special needs kid (not that this is a bad thing, but does add to her struggle of managing things), and her husband has left the church and is running anti these days.
 

As one of this forum's former women, I will raise my voice in proclaiming that we need to hear from more Icelanders in General Conference. There is a deplorable lack of Icelandic-themed talks, not to mention GA names. Okkur vantar fleiri íslensku ræðumenn á Aðalráðstefnuna! Heyrum það fyrir Íslendinga!