Chilean

Hello PriesthoodPower, I'm not sure if you're looking for advice or not, I will say that I experienced something very similar to your story. I feel for you, and I'm sorry youre currently still going through all of this trial. I don't recommend divorce, even through I went through it myself, but you... you are already divorced. and I'm going to be honest with my opinion (just my 2 cents) You are already divorce, get out of there, put your life in order, don't lower your standards, and prepare yourself to be able to go to the temple again. Yes... I slept with my ex husband after we were divorced (abt a year after the divorce was finalized), and the very next day I went to talk to my stake president, and my bishop (I felt sooo bad) they took my recommend away, and for 9 months I did some repentance and I hurt sooooo much, (I had a disciplinary meeting with my bishopric and we met twice). It was a very difficult time, I didn't have my recommend, I couldn't go to the temple when before I was going every week , but I was able to learn soooo much about the healing power of the atonement, I was broken because of my divorce and my ex's cheating, and going through the repentance and healing process helped me sooooo much. Now I look back, it was a beautiful time where I grew a lot, and got closer to the Spirit and the Lord because of my trials. Dude... your ex wife is holding you back, yes, I know you love her, she's the mom of your sweet daughters, but she's is not longer your wife and she is holding you back. Many times with my ex we tried to work it out (We slept together just that one time, and I did get my recommend back after 9 months) We tried to work it out for about 2 years after the divorced just to find out he wasn't willing to live the gospel, he wasn't willing to work to have our lives back, he wasn't willing to live a righteous life (He had started drinking heavily). He just didn't love me enough to be with me, or to even marry me again. Months later, when I had finally understood those things about our toxic relationship, and I was healed from our divorce, Heavenly Father sent me a companion, a man that loved me and respected me, we married about 9 months after we met, and 2 years later, this past June we got sealed in the temple, and his little boy (4yrs old) got sealed to us, my 2 kids, from my previous marriage were able to be inside the temple and witness the sealing of their little brother to us. Being a single parent sucks at church, big time! But you grow a lot! Yes, you will be judged, and be looked at weird, but I know you will learn so much about yourself. I would recommend for you to go to a therapist, there are a lot of stuff going on in your life, and talking to a therapist will help you be more present, mindful, and more in tune with yourself and the spirit. You are no longer married to her, if there is a chance you guys could work it out and get married again would be wonderful, but you know she might never go back to church, is that going to be an issue in your marriage if you decide to get married again? With that being said, I want to tell you that the Lord will always always always bless you when you obey and keep your covenants. He is there for you to heal you and teach you about growing. Look for the things you have to learn while going through this. And do what is right. Good luck. You'll be ok!

Yeah... it is her business... but you are also a friend who had her on a pedestal. We are all humans, I think we all have done stupid stuff, but have repented. Maybe she already went through the repentance process and talked to the bishop. There's no way for you to find out, plus it's between her and the Lord. I will say don't worry about it, because it's not something you can control, whether shes currently doing it or not, you cant control her agency, you can only control the things under your power, like the things you say or do or the clothes you wear, or the fact you obey the principles you've been talked. Yes, it can be heartbreaking to know some dirty things about people we care about, but remember it's their agency, they are choosing what to do.

Can you genuinely love people who you have not met? Sure we can!! Aren't we supposed to have charity (the pure love of Christ) for everyone? If we have been commanded to love the way He loved, then it's probably for us to love genuinely like He did. I have a job where people test my patience every single day, I have notes on my desk that remind me about the fact that those I consider to annoy me are my brothers and sisters and are actually children of my Heavenly Father as well. I think having that present in my daily life has truly help me be able to love them, so I can help them with patience and care. We can develop that kind of love that Jesus taught about by doing the things He did. I think one of the main reasons we came to Earth was to learn to love.

What's truly the reason why you don't want kids? It seems to be based out of fear... "like if you have kids you'll have to stay at home, you'll have to put up with a crappy marriage, you wont be able to pursue your dreams and goals, you wont be able to be truly happy" (Those are the things you wrote). Have you talked with your mom? have you asked her to honestly tell you about her feelings concerning you and your siblings?

He might not be excommunicated, but it wouldn't be a bad idea. As I see that's hes been comfortable with sin for awhile... like not obeying the Word of wisdom. I think, he has issues he hasnt resolved and that's why hes been drinking and cheating (even if it was once). Where was he when he was drinking and cheating? Where were you? I'm sorry, but people don't just decide to sin, or break the law of chastity. Breaking the law of chastity takes time, you first start thinking about it, doing it little by little. He was cheating a long time ago before he actually committed the act. If he gets excommunicated it will be a good thing for him to truly know where he stands in regards to the Gospel. Repentance and the atonement will help him and heal him, but it wont come easy, he's have to go through hell and back first. But that will be the trial of his faith. When he confesses, he'll have a disciplinary meeting with the stake presidency and the high priest, he will have to declare in detail everything he did and everything that lead him to it. Yes, they will judge him, and ask questions and probably make him feel like trash (that's how my ex felt, and never came back to church after that, probably cause he wasnt truly repented). How soon can he come back? YEARS! it takes years after being excommunicated. Breaking the law of chastity and committing adultery doesn't have an easy fix, he made temple covenants, and he's a priesthood holder. But repentance and healing is possible, but it wont happen over night. You need a therapist, and he also needs one. You need to focus on yourself and the things you do have control over. Your life has just been shattered and your going through trauma, you need as soon as possible, so you can learn to cope with everything that's coming your way. I'm so sorry your going through this, but you will grow sooooo much. At the end you'll be fine. I would find a few close friend to talk to, someone you can trust that wont disclose your business not even with their spouses. Yes, talking to the bishop will help you get it out. Do not trust everyone! I would just find a therapist to talk to, and even people online. I am so sorry. When my ex cheated I also remember feeling alone. I couldn't find anyone to trust. I wanted to die. But Sweetie, I promise things will get better. Talk to your bishop, create some healthy boundaries. You will need to talk to someone that can help you... perhaps a sister or parents... you might need some time alone away from him to think and ponder on the future. I'm not recommending divorce, as it is the hardest thing you can do, but you do need to be 100% ok before you take upon whatever you decide to do, even helping him through the repentance process. But first... does he truly want to repent? does he really want to change? is he truly willing to go through whatever is coming his way? Yes It would be beautiful if the 2 of you can go through this together, but don't put yourself 2nd. take care of yourself first. An empty cup has nothing to offer. The most important and beautiful things I learned while going through my husband cheating, divorce, and all the heartache involved with that, was the beautiful and marvelous miracle of the atonement, how it can heal hearts and minds and our souls is just wonderful. Good luck.

Oh That's sad.

I don't know if you meant for that to be funny, but It was. Haha. I apologize, yes I am new. been here for about 2 months. My apology Anatess2

Nah, really?

Yeah, cause of course CNN is the only one reporting on this. Haven't you watch FOX lately?

You clearly haven't watch news, FOX or CNN, either one, doesn't matter. Michael Cohen, Trumps ex-attorney, pleaded guilty to paying hush money from campaign money, lying on his tax returns and lying to financial institution to get loans he couldn't afford. He testified under oath yesterday that Trump told him to pay the hush money. Also yesterday Trump campaign manager, Manafort was convicted for tax and bank fraud. GOP want to focus the attention on immigration, and not what's going on around Trump.

Yeah, sorry dude, but you don't get it. It's alright.

I know. That's the democrats doing it.

I cant believe no one has created a topic on what's going! I'm like Michael Jackson at the movies watching thriller, eating popcorn waiting to see what else is gonna happen. I just read about this girl murdered in Iowa by an Illegal Immigrant... who happened to be employed by a farm owned by a GOP member... and Trump at last night rally was trying to focus the attention on immigration, instead of his dirty lies and Cohen, not knowing the illegal alien worked for a guy in his team. hahaha Keep the popcorn coming! Edit: I apologize, I figured you guys would know what's going on. Michael Cohen, Trumps ex-attorney, pleaded guilty to paying hush money from campaign money, lying on his tax returns and lying to financial institution to get loans he couldn't afford. He testified under oath yesterday that Trump told him to pay the hush money. Also yesterday Trump campaign manager, Manafort was convicted for tax and bank fraud. The fact that I brought up the issue with immigration was that of course republicans want to focus the attention on immigration, and not what's going on around Trump. Disclaimer, I'm not democrat nor republican. This last presidential election I voted for McMullen.

I actually dont care what anti-mormons say against the church. Cause the truth will always prevail. And about the Pope and his church, yes, they have covered up abuse for yeeears, moving priests from city to city to cover their abuses. Dont tell me that is not true, because it is the truth! abousing kids, and nuns... pleeeease! He, Pope Francis dismissed over and over again the claims against his pedophile priests! What happened in Chile is all over the news, and it's been for years, so please dont be so naive. I'm writing about what I do know, and I dont care about you believing it or not. Many, not all of them, but many catholic priests are evil, abusing nuns and little kids, are you kidding me??! and then covering it up, kicking nuns out of their nunnery for coming forward. That is pure evil, blaming the victims and dismissing their allegations. EVIL! Quote: "Francis once again triggered outrage during his visit to Chile earlier this year. Just days after meeting the victims of abuse and apologizing to them in person, he emphatically dismissed accusations against Barros. "The day I see proof against Bishop Barros, then I will talk. There is not a single piece of evidence against him," the pope told a reporter while still in Chile. "It is all slander. Is that clear?" Activists later came forward saying that they had provided such information directly to Francis' subordinates years earlier, receiving assurances at the time that they would be shown to the pontiff. Upon returning to Rome, the pontiff partially backtracked from his comments, but maintained his belief that Barros was innocent. A renowned Vatican investigator was dispatched to Chile to collect evidence. Last month, the pope abruptly changed course and expressed "shame" for his "grave errors in judgment" in the scandal. He also summoned Chilean bishops to the Vatican for a three-day summit this week. Earlier today, a Chilean TV station published a 2,300-page report into abuse in Chile made by Vatican investigators. In the leaked document, Pope Francis himself slammed the clergy for failing to protect children or investigate abuse. The pope said all of the bishops were to blame and "and me first of all."

Unfortunately I'm not surprise. I'm originally from a Catholic country (Chile!) and unfortunately it's not news to us. For many many maaaany years catholic priest have been abusing little kids. and yes, for many yeears they have been covering it up. In this last few years many adults who were abused sued the catholic church, and of course Pope Francisco brushed It off. Even nuns have been abused, and the priests cover their abuse. There have been a lot of focus on their abouse this last 2-4 years. And every day more cases come to light, even here in the US.

Inquisitive. I'm sorry about what you are going through, and the way you have been treated by some members of the Church. But I think you need to find healing, and learn to forgive those that have caused you pain. The Gospel is true, I know it! But I also know we are all human, and make mistakes. I had a bishop once tell me I shouldn't get divorce because I would never get married again (I was only 27 with 2 kids). I got a divorce anyways. and yes, it did bother me that he would say that, I think it was very stupid, but I forgave. and moved on, and 3 years later I married a great guy. and we just got sealed a few months ago :-) I have gone through disciplinary meetings where I have been "judged", but even though the confessing and the repentance part was like hell, it helped me soooo much, and I grew so much spiritually and psychologically. That's when I learned how hurt and broken I was because of the things my ex husband had done (and because of one stupid mistake I made). He was a returned missionary, a member of the presidency of the elders quorum, had a testimony, but he hurt me like no one had ever before. And yes, more times that I want to confess I did contemplated suicide, but I couldn't do it. So yes, many of us, know what it feels to go through hell and want to commit suicide. Inquisitive, you don't know what the heart hides, and many of those you are judging have had their own share of pains. Elder Holland once said: "So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work."

Oh my goodness. It reminds me of my story with my ex. the difference is that he was cheating. I do not recommend divorce, because I promise you (and I never make promises) it will be the most painful thing you will ever experience. BUT... you will grow sooooo much too. Look, I think, YOU NEED to worry about yourself, focus on your healing. Don't make him do anything, don't punish him, don't be mean, don't act like a policeman, don't push him to do anything he doesn't want to do. He is a grown up man, and he knows whats right. Do not enable him either, nor make him feel guilty. Hes going through things, and I think he needs your love and patience. Imagine you have two buckets on each hand. In the left bucket I want you to place all the things you have NO control over, ex: the weather, your kids behaviors, what your husband says or do, or doesn't do. You can place in that bucket what happens in this country, I mean, every little thing you have no control over and place it in this bucket, and that includes your husband's behavior. Now, in the bucket on your right, youre gonna place everything you do have power over like, what to eat, what to wear, how to react to others, what to say, how to feel, all of those things are things you can control. Look at the buckets from the outside, can you see? See what I'm trying to show you? You have no control over your husband, and you don't have to take over his agency. Trying to make him do things he doesn't want to do or trying to control him will drive you crazy. Focus on the bucket you DO have power/control over. Show him love. Be patient. And take care of yourself, I would recommend for you to find a support group, and specially a therapists. You have some healing to do. You don't want to choose to stay or leave when your heart is broken. You need, I think, to wait. Focus on your healing. Talk to your bishop. He might be able to help you too. but again, don't make your husband do anything he doesn't want to do, don't push him. FOCUS ON YOUR HEALING. I'm attaching a file, its a workbook called healing through Christ, it's focus on the healing of people that are struggling with loved ones' addictions. I know your husband is not an addict, BUT the book is for you, not for him. This is about you getting stronger and heal. Please, reach out to me if you need anything. Love, The Chilean. Healing through Christ.pdf

Disciplinary meetings, disfellowship, and excommunion are necessary for our spiritual growth, when we have done very stupid/wrong things. After we've done stupid stuff, what can help us get closer to the Savior's atoning power is getting all those privileges taken from us. Our life here on Earth is a test, is a test of faith and obedience, where we get to taste sweet and sour. Life is not easy, and yes, sometimes it is require for us to go, in a very small percentage, through gethsemane. The Savior already experience our heartaches, and paid the price for our sins, and the only thing require from us is a broken heart and a contrite spirit. By doing that, we will be able to comprehend things, we will be able to understand that those men, yes, human men, are priesthood holder, and are acting as if the Lord was there judging us, because they only desire for us to be happy, to truly feel joy again. Sinning does not bring joy, and by reaching out for help, and talking to our bishops and stake presidents, and going through whatever church disciplinary meeting we have to, it WILL bring joy to our lives again, after going through hell for a little bit. Isn't one minute of pain worth a lifetime of glory? The Gospel is true. What is asked of us by the Savior is a broken heart and a contrite spirit, how are you planning on obtaining that to offer to the Lord? yes, sometimes is does require for us to feel ashamed, to feel broken, to feel alone, BECAUSE that's when the wonderful power of the atonement takes place in our lives, and it changes us forever, and then that broken heart and contrite spirit are ready to be offer as a sacrifice.

I would say, no. We pay tithing only on our earned income, from working. I would consider making a donation though, if you want to, like to missionary work or humanitarian aid. But that's my opinion.

When the process starts he'll meet with the bishop, the bishop will do an application, then the stake president will receive that application and your husband will have an interview with him as well. The main thing here is the reason for his divorce to his last wife. I'm not asking because I want to know, but I want to ask the questions for you to know. Was the divorce caused by his transgressions? does that include adultery? was that adultery with you? with someone else? They will ask him those questions. If the reasons for his divorce were the reasons mentioned above the sealing wont happen for 5 years. You wouldn't be able to start the process until after 5 years. If all those answers are: "no, that's not what happened". then the process is initiated and he gets interviews with bishop and stake president after filling out the application, and everything is sent to SLC, and when he gets a letter in the mail it will say Nay or Yay. I just had my first sealing cancelled, and got sealed to my current husband a month ago, the whole process took about 6 weeks. Good luck!

Hello Inquisitive, Of course, I don't know you, and I don't know what you are going through, but what I can tell just by reading the things you have wrote I can say a few things that might be able to help you some. First, I think you're dealing with depression, which is not something to be embarrassed about. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has a very good talk about that. Second, are you currently working? are you able to work? try to keep your mind occupied, find a hobby, things that will make you happy. If you don't know what will make you happy try different hobbies or activities that might help you feel and stay happy. Third, start writing a journal. It will help you get rid of bad vibes. Fourth, Imagine you have two buckets in each hand. Let say In the bucket on your left you'll place all those things you have no control over, like the way people behaves, the things others do or say, or don't do, etc. On the bucket on your right you'll place on those things you do have control over, all those things have relationship to you, meaning, those are the things pertaining to you, like the way you choose to feel, what to wear, what to eat, what to read, watch, etc. Now, imagine all those things in the two buckets. Sweetie, do not worry about the things inside the bucket on your left, because you will never have control over them, never, let them go! Worry about the things you do have control over. Are you trying to exercise? Exercising can help you released tension. Now, perhaps you are in a difficult ward. Ive been a member all my life, and I moved to this new ward, over 3 years ago, and it's been really hard to make good friends, I don't know why. There are about 3-4 big families, so everyone is related to everyone, and the ladies are very close to eachother. Ive found out that the older the sisters the better. I'm in my early 30s and the older sisters from RS are the best. The Gospel is true, and God has only imperfect people to help him out here on earth, so just try to hold on and be patient. The miracle of the atonement is my favorite things to talk about, you know why? because the atonement is sooooo much more than being forgiven of our sins, its so much more! The atonement can truly help you heal. I have seen it in my own life. I have a very bad/ugly/the worst childhood, in my 20s my son had cancer, in my late 20s I got a divorce. So I do know of miseries and evil. BUT the atonement can heal our hearts, it's truly a miracle, it can help us heal from illnesses, from abuse, from sin, from whatever afflictions we go through during our time on Earth. take the atonement, and learn about it, and let it do its miracle. Your life will change. Take care sweetie.

Yes, your mission might be the toughest thing you'll ever do, but it will also be the greatest thing! You'll have to deal with companions that are difficult, people rejecting you, wards that don't help missionaries. BUT also you'll meet the greatest people ever! and you'll be able to be part of their lives! The Gospel is true. and everyone needs to be onboard proclaiming its truths. You know, we were saved to come to Earth at these times, during these very difficult times when people are tossed everywhere, with different claims, and ideologies, and I see every day how people need to know about their Savior that loves them, about a God that is right there listening to them, ANSWERING PRAYERS! I didn't served a mission... instead I got married, and ... yes... I look back always wondering why I didn't served. I have great kids, and I love them, but yes, I wish I would've served. I'm a ward missionary, and I try to help us much as I can! Because I love the Gospel. Yes, Joseph Smith did see Heavenly Father and Jesus, and they talked to Him, the Book of Mormon is true, and the Priesthood, the very same power that Jesus had when he was on Earth, has been restored, brought back to Earth for our happiness, for us to be able to make covenants with God once more. My husband and I are getting out of debt (we have just a house and car) because we will serve a mission when we retire. haha he's 38 and I'm 31, lol, yes, we have about 30 years before we serve, but we want to be ready now. Please, let us know where you are called to serve! (I live in the Macon, GA mission, and if we ever meet, I'm the spunkiest Chilean ever ) Take care my brotha'

Just backing up my argument. LOL It's all good.

Struck a nerve, didn't it? It is so true! People that are loyal to their parties want nothing from the other party, they are so blind they cant see pass their noises. Theres a guy in my ward, wont say political party, but yes, even though he teaches at church he hates muslims, immigrants, and refugees, and anyone that opposes to Trump, for whatever reason. Like seriously. Are you not telling me that he's more loyal to his party than the teachings of the gospel? Even when the church has been very clear about refugees, and muslims?

I am sorry, but what youre saying is bullcrap! My son had cancer, 7 yrs ago when he was just diagnosed our bishop offer to help, we didn't want the help, as we were getting by fine. But they still helped us (It wasn't more than $700, as I remember it was just one bill we let them helped us with) So... I don't know why they wouldn't help you, unless something has change in this last 7 years. The Gospel is true though. Don't get upset. Pray to have yours and his heart soften.