marge

I'm Australian so here we have Medicare, which I guess in theory is 'free healthcare for everyone' but its not perfect, and costs the government money it really doesn't have.  
There are also really long waiting lists, when my child was 2 years old for example he needed a minor operation for his ears (grommets) the waiting list was almost 2 years for the operation to be done on medicare.  My doctor looked me straight in the eye and told me my son would be permanently deaf if I waited that long.  So I paid the $900 for the operation to be done straight away.
Once you are on a certain income level you are forced to have full private health insurance (hospital cover, not just extras like dental/physio/optical) or the tax department will basically fine you when you do your taxes (its called the medicare levy and its between 1-2% of your annual income).  I'm in a small family (2 adults and our child is free until he is 21) and have mid level hospital cover and high level extras (we need the top level optical and dental) and it costs us $190 f/n (which is almost double what our 'fine' would be).  A lot of people can't afford a bill like that or the fine if they don't have it.
The system has many problems, the income thresholds are not very high so anyone in an upper middle class situation is forced to pay for health insurance that they probably can't afford or pay the government a average of a couple of thousand dollars at tax time.  The taxation system is not the best here either, once you hit a certain income level you are taxed 50cents out of every dollar, so when you get a pay rise, you're likely only to see half of it, but that pay rise has landed you in the 'income bracket' for the medicare levy so now you have a $5000 a year health insurance bill or get a fine at tax time.  So a lot of the time the pay rise lands you financially worse off than before you had it in the first place.
Its good for low income earners to have access to somewhat ok health cover (until waiting lists send their children deaf!) its ok for really high income earners because it doesn't really effect them, but its terrible for anyone considered middle or upper middle class ($80 to $120K for singles $160K-$250K for families), because most can't afford to have private health insurance and at the same time, can't afford not to have it.
My husband calls it socialism, which he thinks is way to close to communism.  But he does get a bit extra passionate about politics!

I'm Australian so here we have Medicare, which I guess in theory is 'free healthcare for everyone' but its not perfect, and costs the government money it really doesn't have.  
There are also really long waiting lists, when my child was 2 years old for example he needed a minor operation for his ears (grommets) the waiting list was almost 2 years for the operation to be done on medicare.  My doctor looked me straight in the eye and told me my son would be permanently deaf if I waited that long.  So I paid the $900 for the operation to be done straight away.
Once you are on a certain income level you are forced to have full private health insurance (hospital cover, not just extras like dental/physio/optical) or the tax department will basically fine you when you do your taxes (its called the medicare levy and its between 1-2% of your annual income).  I'm in a small family (2 adults and our child is free until he is 21) and have mid level hospital cover and high level extras (we need the top level optical and dental) and it costs us $190 f/n (which is almost double what our 'fine' would be).  A lot of people can't afford a bill like that or the fine if they don't have it.
The system has many problems, the income thresholds are not very high so anyone in an upper middle class situation is forced to pay for health insurance that they probably can't afford or pay the government a average of a couple of thousand dollars at tax time.  The taxation system is not the best here either, once you hit a certain income level you are taxed 50cents out of every dollar, so when you get a pay rise, you're likely only to see half of it, but that pay rise has landed you in the 'income bracket' for the medicare levy so now you have a $5000 a year health insurance bill or get a fine at tax time.  So a lot of the time the pay rise lands you financially worse off than before you had it in the first place.
Its good for low income earners to have access to somewhat ok health cover (until waiting lists send their children deaf!) its ok for really high income earners because it doesn't really effect them, but its terrible for anyone considered middle or upper middle class ($80 to $120K for singles $160K-$250K for families), because most can't afford to have private health insurance and at the same time, can't afford not to have it.
My husband calls it socialism, which he thinks is way to close to communism.  But he does get a bit extra passionate about politics!

Welcome, @marge!

Howdy!!!

Hi @marge ! Pleased to have you here! 😀 

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For me I am less concerned about where someone has been then where they are currently headed.
That being said your spouse is more then just some random stranger you are commanded to Love.  Your spouse is your partner, your help meet, the person you should trust to have your back and for you to have theirs..  Therefore a higher level of due diligence and discrimination (yes discrimination can be a good thing) is required/recommend before taking that step.
Your spouse's baggage/history becomes your baggage/history.  You need to make sure you can bear such weight.  (All the shaming of strangers telling you you should... does not magically increase your capacity)  Which means you need to get a good feel for that that history is and your ability to deal with it.
Having said that sometimes our spouse might keep secret... that is a sad possibility.  The answer to this is still due diligence and prayer.  One should not get married until they know it is the path the Lord wants them to take and/or the person in question becomes a "No matter what" person.  (aka No matter what is in their past or future they are the one you want).  When you have either one (preferably both) of those then you move forward... because what ever they might reveal down the road you have already answered the hard question and are comitted to working through it.

Sure Carb.
Over the years I've slowly and stubbornly learned that individuals honestly all come from different backgrounds and upbringings. I've had to learn that the standards, morals, values and expectations that I was taught may have been almost completely void in their lives prior to learning about the gospel. I've had to learn that the love, protection and blessings I received growing up may have been completely void their lives also. For too long in my life, I erroneously tried to hold others up to how 'I' was raised.
While I was a squeakin deacon, had FHE, went to church - my wife was being sexually abused by her alcoholic father.
While I had Church leaders who helped teach me right form wrong, she had no such outside support.
While I was on my mission, my wife was married briefly to someone who abused her in a variety of ways. It was from this marriage, as she was trying to flee it that the abortion took place.
I guess what I'm saying is I've learned that I can't hold others to my standard - for some, the introduction to the gospel may be the first ray of light/love/direction they ever have experienced in their life. I 'now' find it extremely hard to ever judge pre-baptism /pre-gospel actions.
Had my wife told me things in our younger years, I know I wouldn't have been mature enough to have dealt with them. I was too ridged in my views, too narrow in my experiences.

Yes it was a blow, but not like you might think.
Here was a secret that my wife had been holding onto for about 20yrs by time she shared it with me. She was absolutely fearful to share it with me, she could barely gets the words out. She was in tears, hands over her face half the time and I knew the burden of holding that for so long was an enormous weight on her. So... what do you say to that? What do you say to anyone who clearly has carried a tremendous bag of guilt and shame for so long? I didn't know what to say to her. Almost instantly (almost makes me want to cry now typing it out) an absolutely, overwhelming, down the deepest parts of your bones rush of love poured into me on her behalf. I honestly felt like I was completely encompassed in the purest of pure love. I felt what I can only describe as a literal heavenly hand on my shoulder letting me know that she was loved and forgiven by our Father in Heaven and I was to do the same.
So... I told her how sorry I was that she had held onto this all these years, that I loved her, that we would be fine. We haven't spoken of it since - it is done.
 

Good thing I've been happily married for 22 years then and I don't have to date anymore 

i think others could understand @marge's point of view a bit better if they were to ask themselves a question like whether or not it is appropriate for a woman to ask a man she was dating sort of seriously who had served in war if he had ever killed someone - and if yes, explain the how, and the why, and where, etc.,.  And maybe under the pretext that she needed to know this information to see if the man could be trusted to correctly discipline any potential children that might come along.  
People have a right to ask such questions - but i wouldn't be too surprised if the person you are asking feels deeply hurt by them, and responds in a way that reflects that hurt.  

That only applies to God, not to His self-appointed superiors on here.

Thankfully, the people who wouldn't, almost always won't.  Better for everyone.  
But perhaps everyone should substitute soldiers in war, or those who administer the death penalty, consider why their answers may be different, while remembering just what a broad range of motives get covered up by a society's near unilateral justification or lack thereof.

my first post on this thread simply said 
"As a woman, if someone I was dating asked me a question like that, I'd probably dump them!"
I've had questions after that post as to why I think this way, I've answered them.  

As a woman, if someone I was dating asked me a question like that, I'd probably dump them!

Exact thing happened to me. I found out about 16 yrs into our marriage. Never once crossed my mind to ask. 
If you need me to expand I will, but know that we are still happily married years later with 4 kids of our own and she is a wonderful Primary Pres. right now.

Fether, reliving the good old days when he was 2:

I vote by number 4. Party Affiliation
I'm in Australia, I always vote for the liberal party (which my husband says is like the republican party in the US).  I vote that way because the Labour Party (like the democrats) give away so much revenue to unemployment benefits, government housing and other free services that quite frankly, our country can't afford.  While I do feel sorry for these people I don't think it helps them to just give them hand outs. 

I think you should get baptized when YOU are ready. Not when your family accepts it and not when the missionaries think you're ready. I don't buy that whole get baptized then everything will fall into place.
 
I think a lot of the dysfunction with converts stems from them not being ready to be baptized. If the policy would change to make sure missionaries emphasize people get baptised when ready it would create stronger converts. The church would tradeoff higher numbers for stronger and committed members. Most of the converts who join when not ready fall away or are spiritually weaker.
The truth is I wasn't pressures or anything like that. I just fibbes on the questions prior to baptism because I was put on the spot and had my girlfriend at the time right by me. I think it would be much wiser to ask the prebaptism questions asked in private by a local leader who has no relationship built with the person be interviewed. The missionaries have a relationship built with the investigator thereby making it more difficult to answer questions truthfully.
With that said, I support wiser and more spiritual people than me. The leaders of the church. I'm sure they have thought and prayed about this many times. It's also true that I'm only answering this based on my experience. It's probably different for other converts.

Other questions that might come up:
1.)  Do you have HIV or any other transmittable diseases?
2.)  Are you married?
3.)  Do you have children?
4.)  Are you wanted by the government?  Are you engaged in activities that can cause you to be wanted by the government?  Are you on the no-fly list?
5.)  Are you in debt?  Are you indebted to the mafia or similar organization?
6.)  Is any of your future offspring promised to some person or thing?
7.)  Do any of these questions make you uncomfortable?

 

That the problem with my ward.  I have no "friends" in the ward.  Most of my friends has moved and members left are familes that are too busy to associate with anyone.  I was in the hospital for 6 months and keep calling the bishopric for a blessing and no one showed.  I had a nurse call the Church HQ(LDS.org) to get a phone number from missionary to do a blessing.
 
In the church defense, the phone number I had was from a old bulletin where the Bishop and the ward Secretary was no longer in the ward.

Yes
So what? However this should be something that should come up if you are serious about marriage, there should be no secrets regarding medical history.

Sure, it’s nice for the guy to just kinda know you’re not capable of such a thing, but this is what I learned being the only girl in a group of guys... they’re not the most intuitive people on the planet... 

Welcome Marge, lovely to see another Aussie on here. There are many members on this board who really need the leavening presence of us Aussies.  

Welcome Aspiring Nurse.   I hope you find a way to get your head in the game.  Here are two truths:
- Divorce doesn't mean you're not closely tied to your wife and kids any more.  If anything, all divorce does is make everything harder and more expensive, but you remain tied to each other.  Especially with minor children involved.
- Should you leave your wife in search of a better match, you will only end up with your next soon-to-be ex-wife.  Statistics pretty much dictate such an outcome.