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Hi everyone, I am technically a member of the Church. I haven't attended in a long time. I no longer live a worthy life. For whatever reason yesterday I decided to browse lds.org and watched President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's 'Of Regrets and Resolutions'. I have tried to quit smoking many times and failed. His talk has inspired me to try yet again. I don't have any real life support for this, so I was hoping maybe this is a place I can post about my efforts and feel some support, even from strangers. I have never not believed in the message of the Church since the moment I heard it, even though my life has taken me so very far away since then. I can't even begin to think about all the things I would need to do to make things right so I'm just going to focus on this one thing until I can manage the others. If these kinds of threads are frowned upon or prohibited, please delete or move it with my apologies.

I have just returned to the church after much time away living a inappropriate life mainly with the word of wisdom, and some chastity. I have returned to living the church standards and in the repentance process. During my time away I met the girl of my dreams she is what helped me return to the church. Sad to say we did break the law of chastity( not sex but touching). We are both planning on going on missions in 8 months or so, but now she wants us to just be friends and maybe start over dating when we return from our missions. This is the girl of my dreams and I truly love her, I dont know how else to say it besides that. She is upset about the things we did and suffers from extreme guilt, and questions if I truly love her, or if our relationship was built on the actions we did. I guess what I'm asking is what do I do I love this girl with all my heart and I hope to take her hand in marriage at the right time. I have been working my very hardest to develop self control so when we do spend time together it can be appropriate. What do I do to show her I love her for her, and with the starting over how do I start over. I cant just stop loving her she saved my life without her I would still be in a very dangerous world of drugs. Please help I can't afford to loose this amazing women! ps its a long distance relationship.

Ugh...how did this happen? I am a returned missionary, come from an amazing leadership family in the church, pretty much been on the straight and narrow my whole life. I married a year after my mission to the most amazing spiritual loving husband. My husband's job the last 2 years caused him to be away alot and not home until 9pm at night most nights. I really started to get lonely so I really got close to my best friend. We would get together numerous times a day. Her husband was home alot and we ended up getting to be close friends. I told my husband that I thought we were too close and we talked about it openly. It was almost weird how much we had in common and how funny we were together. We would flirt some but always had our guard up and my best friend was always there. We were not alone ever. My husband was the elders q. pres and this guy was the first counselor. We trusted ourselves too much. Me and my best friend had a couple conversations about her husband and she asked me if he had ever said anything or tried anything or if she could trust him? I struggle some with self esteem and he made me feel good about myself. I didn't think too much about him but when I was with him I felt happy, excited and motivated. I noticed I always wanted to look my best around him. Anyway their family moved away. Only 5 minutes after they drove away he started texting me that he was in love with me, wanted to be with me, wanted to make love to me etc. I felt guilty that I felt happy and flattered that he said these things to me. I told my husband right away. This man was also my husbands best friend. We all were just so close. The man told me he only thinks of me when he has sex with his wife, etc. For about 3 weeks we texted each other. I cut the texting off 3 times and he would not text me for about 3 days then text that he missed me and how hard it was for him not to text me. I loved the attention. I felt sexy again. I felt alive. but I felt terrible for my husband and how could I feel this way. I was never in love with this man but more loved the attention he gave me. I told my husband this and we talked openly about the situation.....all but one thing. There were 3 times when we "sexted". It was mostly him typing things but I also did a little bit. He sent me a few pictures he took of himself at the gym in the bathroom but had shorts on. After 3 weeks I sent him a text that said ur relationship needs to be done, he sent one back that said....you don't understand because you go home to a great husband and I go home to a cold shoulder. He accidentally sent that text to his wife, my best friend and it had my name in it so she basically knew. I have not talked to him or his wife since that day. I wrote her a letter and apologized and she wrote me back and is obviously hurt and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. Here is my issue.... I told my bishop about the situation and texting and my feelings and told my husband too but I didn't tell my husband or the bishop about the sexting. It was mostly the other man and I didn't send inappropriate pictures of myself to him but I know that is justifying it. It has been 3 months now and I am wondering if I need to go back and tell the bishop about the sexting and my husband? I have prayed about it and feel peace again in my life and feel the Spirit so much more now then before but should I tell the bishop and my husband about the sexting or just move forward? My husband never brings it up and seems like he has forgotten about it. I feel good that I don't think about the guy anymore. I really feel like the Lord took that away from me. I still daily have a hard time with my best friend...wishing we could talk and I could help her through this trial but I know now that I will always be the "other woman" in her mind now. I hope their marriage will be ok.... Should I go back and tell the bishop and my husband the sexting I left out? Thanks

I'm young and have been going through the repentance process with the bishop over some sexual sins. I have been going great until recently, I haven't quite been faithful reading the scriptures for the last couple weeks and I feel the difference. I got caught up in immature emotions and began sexting with a boy. No pictures. just talk. but pretty innappropriate. I started so feel awful and sick with myself. I broke down and really want to be forgiven. I will fast all week if I have too. I don't want to go back to being the person I used to be. and I am disgusted with myself for my moment of weakness. So my question is, if I've already confessed to the Bishop similar sins such as this, do I have to tell him of this one I recently did? I really hope I can work through it as a personal matter between me and the Lord but I'm not sure if that's right? I'd be so embarrassed to tell him. Especially cause he's been so proud of me lately for my progress. I understand what I've done. Can I work this out and keep it between me and Heavenly Father? Or does the Bishop have to know so I can be forgiven?

For the last month I haven't been able to take the sacrament. I've done some confessing to the Bishop and have to wait to be able to take it again. Does this mean that I am unable to have the Spirit of the Lord with me until I can righteously partake of the sacrament again? Does the Holy Ghost leave and completely forsake someone while they can't take the sacrament? Am I unable to hear it's prompting's until I can take the sacrament again?

LDS Family Services runs an addiction support group that can be a wonderful resource to those struggling with any sort of addiction. You can find the nearest group by going to the new website LDS Addiction Recovery Program. These steps are also very helpful for those who need to go through the repentance process. Here is a link to the ARP manual. May the Lord be with you as you strive to overcome and heal from your addictions. Here are the twelve steps: Step 1. Honesty Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. Step 2. Hope Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. Step 3. Trust in God Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Step 4. Truth Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. Step 5. Confession Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs. Step 6. Change of Heart Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses. Step 7. Humility Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings. Step 8. Seeking Forgiveness Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them. Step 9. Restitution and Reconciliation Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed. Step 10. Daily acountability Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it. Step 11. Personal Revelation Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out. Step 12. Service Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.

Ever since i was about 9 i have had an addiction to pornography and masturbation. I know...early but i had some friends with parents who led somewhat wild lives. I have never really gained a testimony or felt the spirit because of this but i have just gone through the motions. I have gone through the temple and even went on a mission. But since i got back i have broken the law of chastity with 2 separate girls. The most recent one, i am planning on making my wife. In the last year i have gained a testimony and know this church is true and finally am feeling bad for the things that i have done. The girl i am with right now and i are both going to talk to our bishops on sunday and we are hoping to have this all cleared up by next year so we can get married. Can anyone tell me exactly what may be in store for me punishment wise?

I'll just get straight to it, spare a lot of details. After about 6 months of having an emotional affair, things went too far and now I'm full of guilt and remorse. Never thought I'd be in this situation, never meant for this to happen. I've been married for 20+ years, was married in the temple. All my family, grown up kids, and family on both sides are very active in the church. While things haven't been perfect with my husband, I still love him and don't want to hurt him. He has been verbally abusive to me at times, and I've almost left him a couple times. Things have been ok lately though. But, I'm scared to tell him. Afraid of what he'll do. I'm so confused and distraught at what to do next. My questions are: Have I lost all chance of having an eternal family? Have I lost them forever? If not, how can I get them back? Some days I want to tell him now, but I just can't. Is it worse for me to wait and tell him later? Six months? A year? Two years? I'm so scared of his temper and all the stress he has with his job etc. I just can't do it right now. How will it affect the repentance process if I wait? I have so many other questions, I'm lost. Please help!!

I am engaged to be married in December. However, I had sex before I met my fiance and have yet to see a bishop. I have prayed, read my scriptures, attended all my meetings and recieved confirmation from Heavenly Father that I have been forgiven. But my sister-in-law knows who I had sex with and approximately how long ago and will not let the topic die. Can I still get sealed in the temple to my love? Or do we have to wait, even though I know I've been forgiven and everything is going right?

The year was 2004 and as a senior in High School things were going well. With concurrent college courses and an Internship at a local bank I felt successful in school and work. Though I lacked any real social life, I had befriended the girl I loved and was happy to let it develop further. Life felt good. Yet spiritually I was struggling. I grew determined that I would live on borrowed light no more. I needed my own light. Having worked with my Bishop for years I wanted to receive my Patriarchal Blessing. He agreed I could but set some personal worthiness goals for me to complete prior to receiving it. After a set period of exerting extreme will power I succeeded in receiving my blessing. It would still be years before I would begin to feel it's power or truly appreciate it. I repented of my sins and then read the Book of Mormon. Though I prayed for a witness; though I plead, cried and even begged, the Heavens were silent to my ears and I didn't know why. Perhaps I didn't... really have a sincere heart? Perhaps my intent wasn't really... real? I had faith in Christ... didn't I? I grew very discouraged and felt I had failed. That the reason why I had received no witness was my fault, that I was the one lacking. I believed that if I had truly met the requirements, I would have received the witness I sought. Perhaps I was afraid to receive an answer. I knew that upon receiving an answer there would be a greater accountability for sin and that worried me. I misunderstood what type of sin made someone a son of perdition and I was afraid that with a witness of the truth I would still sin and then become one. Then, I fell. Despair flooded through me. I knew, I knew that I had done my utmost to give up my sins and yet it hadn't been enough. I had confessed, felt remorse, and also forsaken my sins, yet the power of the atonement had not manifested itself in my life and freed me from the bonds I bore. Why? I didn't understand. It was so confusing. Then my family doctor told me he had made a mistake when charting my growth and that I had missed a major growth spurt. By then it was too late and my bones had fused. I'd never grow any taller and I didn't appreciate being comparatively short. Then one of my only friends, the girl I loved, decided upon the council of her mother that she couldn't be my friend anymore and stopped speaking to me. Already hurting from the blow to my faith, my self confidence and esteem took a dive. I no longer felt worthy of the sacrament. My peers noticed my abstinence and their perceived alienation drove me from the midst of those who could have helped me most. I left the protection of the flock and found myself scared, alone, and lost. I hurt so much inside but hid it behind a mask of forced cheer. I was a lost lamb and I saw no rescue in sight. Dark clouds promising torrential rains and thunders rolled forth as the powers of hell and darkness surrounded me. “You failed! It's impossible for you to change! This is just the way you are! The atonement isn't real! It's a lie! It doesn't work! If there is a God, he doesn't love you! You're weak! You'll never be enough! The promise isn't real! No one really loves you, no one really understands, no one ever will! Give up!” The deluge of darkness poured upon me and under the continual onslaught of guilt, shame, pain, fear, anger and sorrow... I did exactly that. I gave up. The flame of my faith, powerless against the wind without the shield of hope wavered... and then... was blown out. That was the day... I died. Gone was the color of life. Gone was the meaning and the future's luster. My self-esteem, confidence and worth plummeted to the bottom of a stormy sea where no light shown. I was down for the count. And I was not getting back up. Finding solace in gaming and reading alone, I even began to skip school. Having no hope of ever being free, I stopped struggling against my sins and embraced them instead. I knew they were wrong but I no longer cared. By this point I was also fully inactive. The darkness in my life was so great that even the mention of God was sufficient to drive me out of a room. My descent into darkness became unchecked as I fell further and further into the abyss of darkness. I still secretly was crying inside for help but no one could hear me or see past the mask I wore. Then... a hand reached down into my hell and offered me a hand. A loving teacher, whose depressed son had committed suicide, recognized something was deeply wrong. She was afraid for me and with boldness sought me out. Gently she expressing her concerns, mentioning the differences she saw, and asked if I had considered that perhaps I was suffering from depression. In a landscape devoid of light, lighting struck. A nameless foe now had a name. I was diagnosed with depression and started a course of medication. This teacher, saved my life. My doctor prescribed me a very serious anti-depressant called Lithium which instead of making things better caused sleep apnea. Now on two medications things grew even worse. For the first time in my life I entertained thoughts of suicide. “Might as well kill yourself. Life doesn't really matter anymore and you might as well. No one understands your pain but maybe they will once you're gone. It would be better if you simply cease to exist.” Again and again the dark thoughts filled my mind yet God was not finished striving with me and I rallied. No! No! I don’t want to die yet! I want to live! Scared more than perhaps I had ever been in my life I became terrified of what would happen if something wasn’t done and confronted my father with what I had just been thinking. Together we sought the aid of a specialist in depression where I was immediately taken off of Lithium. Instead he prescribed Effexor and I found I could once again function. The damage had already been done though and now I was chemically dependent upon the second medication Seroquil in order to sleep. Though I knew it not, the toll of this second medication would also cause me much grief. On the sea of life, the waves continued to pound me. Wings soaked, sky dark and the sun hid from view, I had lost my strength to fly and almost my strength to stay above the water. Just as I was about to sink, I was lead to a buoy where I gladly allowed myself to be chained. I would soon learn that as long as I was bound to this chain, I could not fly. Living by myself years passed. I would gain a job only to loose it within a year. I was fully addicted to internet gaming and struggling with my prescriptions. It only took a few nights of approaching the cusp of sleep but being unable to pass it to realize I couldn't skip even a single day of Seroquil. Again someone reached into the hell of my life and offered me a hand. My mother gave me a book called “Medical Secrets They Do Not Want You To Know About” by Kevin Trudeu. It blew my world apart. I simply couldn't deny the logic of many of his arguments. I learned of safe and effective alternatives which were never presented to me simply because no profit could be made off of them. I learned of corruption in the medical industry and decided I'd had enough. I quit my antidepressant cold turkey, weaned myself off of Seroquil within a week and spreading my wings leapt into the sky. It was glorious! Unchained from the buoy I found life beautiful. After years of winter, rays of light finally began to appear on the horizon. The sunrise was coming and color began to flood back into my life. Free from prescription's grasp I even found I wanted the light. I started conversing with those who practiced magic, with those who claimed mind talents or the Eastern Orient’s body arts. I conversed with those who claimed to be dragons or elves incarnate and was soon lost in a whole new world. Though I walked forward in seek of light, yet again interested in religion, I had turned further into the dark of night. My dreaming began to change dramatically. I started gaining control over my dreams and found I could do things there that were impossible in reality. I liked doing these things. They stimulated my mind. Yet not all that happened in dreams pleased me. I quickly learned how to wake up and flee when necessary. Consequences unforeseen followed as I kept finding myself in a situation where I would fall asleep but not start dreaming. Though unable to move or speak, I found that with effort I could wake up. How could I be both asleep and awake at the same time? I sought answers and found them. I learned of a medical term called sleep paralysis. When the body falls asleep it enters a protective paralytic state so that the sleeper does not harm themselves or act out their dreams. In normal sleep, the mind shuts down as well. Yet to some it does not and they remain awake in a body that has gone to sleep. Unable to move, they panic and eventually wake up sweating and shaking in fear. This terrifies many of those who encounter it. Normally the brain shuts down too. To those who experience sleep paralysis, the brain does not shut down and the person remains awake, trapped in a sleeping body. Confused by the inability to move, many people become terrified. I grew curious and began experimenting with vivid dreaming and began finding myself sleep paralysis more often. Yet rather than wake my body I found, through exertion of extreme willpower, I could actually move different portions of myself outside the bounds of my sleeping body. Though I have made many terrible choices in my life, the decision to explore this new phenomenon would prove to be one of the worst. I grew concerned that perhaps I was going insane or already was so. Perhaps I had a brain tumor. Perhaps all of these things were the product of a frenzied mind or indigestion. They weren't, I didn't, and I wasn't. At great cost that I yet pay, I became certain of specific truths. We are not alone. Evil spirits are very real. We are more than a physical body. Our physical body holds our spiritual body of which it resembles. There is life after death. Yet where were the spirits of goodness and light? Why did I not see them? I could not find them but instead found other spirits who at least had the appearance of being benign even if they weren’t light filled. As I learned just how many spirits there are and how very real their power to influence us, I gained a misguided desire to do good through the belief that if I could consciously control while awake this awareness, I could help the living under attack and the dead who indicated they were trapped with no voice among the living and none to send them on. I chose to share this one day with my brother and mother. They were greatly alarmed to say the least. They united in their warning. Stop! This is dangerous! I told them that I was in control and could handle it, that there were even some of the spirits who seemed quite nice and friendly. They strove more earnestly to dissuade me from my intended path yet I was determined and their pleas could not pierce me. Again, a hand reached into my life to save me from myself. They became calm and their efforts changed. You claim you’re in control? Surely you must get tired of it sometimes. Doesn’t it mess with the quality of your sleep? Why not take a vacation? Tell them to leave you alone for a month so you can make sure this is where you want to go. After all, once you peruse this, there might be no turning back. This made… sense. Sometimes it was indeed exhausting. My sleep definitely was being affected. Yes, I wanted a break from it all. I went home and put up a sign saying “come back in a month and please leave me alone until ‘x’ date.” naively believing that this request would be honored. I went to sleep only to wake up screaming. The next few days became successively worse. Somewhere was the truth of what was happening to me. I had to find it. Whatever it was, where ever it was, it no longer mattered what it would cost to gain. I knew, I had to know. I started to read books on wicca and other alternate religions. I would read a few pages and then find myself unable to continue. This confused me. I love to read, I’m a voracious reader, why could I not read these books? In the darkness that was still my soul, a voice whispered into my heart and I was reminded of the teachings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ I had been raised under in my youth. What if. What if? What if it was true? What if it was all true? What if I already knew the truth but had turned away from it? I knew then why I could not read those books. The door of my past still stood ajar and a beam of light shown through, beckoning to me, inviting me. Yes, I knew it then. I knew I had to return to that door and open it fully one last time either to walk through it or to close it forever. Just because I didn’t have proof that what I was taught was true, did not make it false. I had tried once and failed yet it wasn’t enough. I had to try again! Yet I already tried this once before and it hadn’t worked. In remembering my first attempt to gain what I was about to seek, I grew afraid that it would happen a second time as well. I fell to my knees and in the name of Jesus Christ prayed like I had not prayed before. “Heavenly Father. Father. I don’t know if you are there or not but I really hope you are. If you are, I’m going to try once more. If you don’t reach me now, I’m afraid that you’ll never reach me. It’s all or nothing. Please, help me!” As I reaching up a hand reached down as I began to take tentative steps. I started again reading the Book of Mormon. Yet the forces of hell and darkness only stepped up their attacks. Work took up so much time and my progress was slow. I kept procrastinating and playing games instead. I became discouraged. Again, a loving hand then reached down and offer aid. A call from my mother resulted in somehow discussing her experiences at a health retreat she had visited years prior. She talked about her experiences there. It felt like lightning to my mind as I somehow knew that I needed to go there. Yet, I would need to do it right. I could allow no distractions. I needed a place where in addition to cleansing the outward vessel of my body, I could escape the worldly stresses and influences that so surrounded me. A holistic, health retreat without TV or internet access where people went to cleanse their body by drinking wheat grass, exercising, doing both colonics & enemas all the while eating only uncooked organic vegan food? A place where there was also a lot of free time for personal study? It was perfect. It wasn’t cheap. Again in the name of my Savior I prayed to my Heavenly Father. “Heavenly Father, I feel that this is what I need to do. Get me there and I’ll consecrate my time to study. I won’t bring or read anything but my scriptures. Will you help me get there? Please, oh please help me.” I began to save my money and I told my mother my plans. She approved but made a suggestion. She gave me a book called “How Great Shall Be Your Joy” by Steven A Cramer and told me how much of a difference it had made in her life when she went through what I was going through. She promised me that if I would read it, it would make a difference in mine. I accepted. That one book would prove a catalyst that would change my life forever. I will always be grateful that my mother convinced me to bring it and more so that this man lived to write it. It took near three months but finally saved enough and I went. Glorious life giving waters were soon to rush onto land long bereft. The powers of darkness knew this and to my horror I found that it could get even worse. Yet in spite of their power, I planted a very small seed of faith. Then I carefully began to nurture it. It grew and I knew... it was indeed good. I knew then that I had to repent. Yet I knew not how. As I read the book given by my mother, I began to leap for joy. There! Before my eyes was the answer! I cried as I realized why my first repentance had not succeeded. The Spirit of God bore witness to my soul of the truth in those pages and I finally understood how to repent. Again I confessed my sins before an authorized representative of the Savior Jesus Christ. Again I forsook them. Again I expressed Godly Sorrow. I broke my heart and in the name of my Savior I knelt and offered up my very soul. “Heavenly Father, I don’t want to sin anymore. I’ve confessed and forsaken them. I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.” Yet this time there was one major difference. “Father, I’m finally willing to go all the way. I understand now that it’s all or nothing. Whatever I have to forsake, whatever I have to do, whatever I have to change, however much it may hurt, however long it make take, I don’t care. I’ll do it. Please! Save me!” This time the loving hand of my Savior Jesus Christ reached down into my heart and changed me. All along he had been there, leading me, inviting me, guiding me back into His arms. My prayer was answered. Like a dam bursting its banks living water flowed onto a sun starved land. Being dead, again I lived. Clouds of darkness were scattered as pure light flowed into my very soul. From the depths of my dark abyss I stood awed as light, love, peace, happiness and even joy, began to fill my soul. The insurmountable wall that I had failed to conquer crumbled to dust before my feet and I knew freedom. I marveled, I was amazed. The temptations of my sins, through the redeeming power of my Saviors Atonement and grace, were utterly gone. It was a miracle. I was changed. I knew that I was now was walking proof of God’s love and the power of a Savior’s loving mercy. His atonement was real. I was healed. It was only the beginning. The road has been rocky. There has been further pain. Though healed, there was more healing to come. Other trials still to face. Battles with the forces of darkness continued. I knew they existed and so did they. Fearlessly they continued to assault me. As the Makers touch continues to remake me ever stronger I know that He saved me from Hell. I’ll give up anything he asks, make any sacrifice he requires. I love Him. Yet if someone were to ask me why, my answer would be this. He loved me first.

I'm going to confess a sin to my Bishop, and I anticipate he will ask me to not pass/partake of the sacrament, pray in public, home teach, etc. (Just the basic temporary "punishments"). The problem is my ward has a very small youth group and an even smaller young men's group. We have just enough to serve the sacrament, but usually someone is sick so we have an adult come, but it is apparent who wasn't there and we always ask "why could you not serve today, we needed you?" If I stop passing the sacrament suddenly for a few weeks my friends and priesthood leaders will ask why...How do I maintain my privacy (since it is not there business) without making the situation uncomfortable? For instance, if someone asks me "why haven't you passed the sacrament or helped us prepare for the past 3 weeks? You need to get on top of that!" What do I say? Another thing I'm worried about- Sunday School and Priesthood session...What if I am called to say an opening/closing prayer? If I decline my friends will become suspicious since I NEVER decline. My friends will think less of me, too. Second, in Priesthood our leaders do NOT take no for an answer. If I say I don't want to when I am called on then they will persist. What do I do? Please help me, any suggestions, anything at all. I'm open minded. I want to fully repent and be pure, but I don't want to experience a rough process.

So, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now, and we both are LDS. We had a slip up and were not chaste in our relationship. My boyfriend has already talked to his bishop about it, and started the repentance process. I am in the middle of moving from to a different ward so I have to wait till' my records are in the Ward so I haven't started the process. Now that my boyfriend has talked to the bishop he said we are on "different levels" now. I took it as he was boasting and almost he was better than I. He said this is what his Bishop stated to him, because he has started his process; I haven't. I am feeling a bit down that I can't start the process yet, and would like someone to explain the "different levels" phrase. Does this mean that I am not as good? Does this mean our relationship is at risk? Shouldn't we be supporting each other no matter what in this difficult time not comparing? Thank you

Hi, I'm a fairly new member of the LDS church. Going on two years now, and I've heard some pretty outrageous things when it comes to committing sexual sin in the Church. But I don't know if there is any truth to it, which is why I have a few questions. First, once you have committed the sin and want to move forward with the repentance process, I know you need to confess to your Bishop, but what are specifically the kinds of questions he asks you? I heard they can get VERY explicit and unnecessary, but this is just what I've heard. And if there IS any truth to that, why do they need to ask you such questions? And my last question is why does the Bishop need to be alone with you when you confess?

I posted earlier about what support there is in repenting as I was struggling. What do I do when I fall back? I am repenting for chastity issues related to my boyfriend. We have not done anything that requires excommunication or formal disfellowshipping but I have been trying to repent for quite a few months as was deemed necessary from my Bishop. I felt a lot of opposition to repenting (although I wanted to repent) but was able to get over that hump. I didn't feel a lot of support in my efforts to repent and although I wanted to progress I had a difficult time feeling the weight of what I'd done. I kept plodding along and thought that surely that feeling of godly sorrow would come. Now...unfortunately, after doing so well, my boyfriend and I crossed serious chastity lines (though not entirely) this week. The problem is I didn't feel bad about it like I should. I don't know how to feel what I need to feel to repent. I've thought that perhaps we should just get married as he would like to. I have been a temple going person ever since I was endowed until recently. Do I really want to go all the way down the road that I have foolishly gone down since I've already started (and haven't been able to get back on board) and not marry in the temple? I can't be sure it is wise to marry him so what would that bring? I only ask here because I don't know how to approach my repentance anymore and what to do - or to just try own my own to figure it out. I've been to Bishop who set my on what I need to do to repent and to return when I feel progress. I progressed then fell back before I could meet with him again so I can't really get advice from him now. I have a hard time feeling encouraged when I met with him before and sought advice again from him when I found repentance difficult and came out even more discouraged. What step do I take next? I feel as though I am failing.

I want to repent but I am so discouraged by it all. I can't seem to get it together on my own. My boyfriend and I were much too heavily involved. I've discontinued our relationship for the time being. I've spoken to my Bishop who told me what I need to do to repent. I know what I need to do but in trying to do that I don't feel anything. I don't feel any sense of hope, any sense of encouragement, any sense of an end in sight. What I do feel is that I failed and that perhaps I am not cut out for this gospel. I feel isolated and alone. I can't partake of the sacrament. I can't attend the temple. I can't serve in the church. I can't do anything that helps increase my testimony. I don't feel encouraged when I read my scriptures and I feel as though prayers can be quite empty. I've considered going back to my boyfriend. That way I don't feel so alone. I am starting to resent repentance. Ugh. Is there any support system in repenting?

I met with my bishop yesterday which was a very big blessing, we talked for a long time and I feel a lot better about things now. I told him how I feel like I've hit a wall, and that everytime i try to repent I hit this same wall and can't find the strength to get over it and end up just going to back to sin. He asked me what I thought about a disciplinary council...he said he never asks people their feelings on it or opinion so he wasn't sure why he was asking mine, but he wants to know. I told him that I wish he could just decide if it was necessary, and he said "oh, I can, and I usually do, but I'd like to know what you think about it". Im not sure what to think. It absolutely terrifies me, but at the same time i think it would be really helpful to me. Anyhow....I was wondering if you guys knew anything about a discplinary council...any information would be great so I can try to figure out what my opinion is...at the moment I am kinda just wanting to tell him that I believe he has the authority to know what will help most and that I'll trust whatever he decides...but i'm not sure thats what he wants to hear. Thanks

This is my first post to this website. I'm an LDS woman who has a wonderful temple marriage, and has been married for many years now. I'm active and love the church. I was away from my husband for most of the summer due to a temp job I had, and became attracted to another man. I was foolish and had relations with him one time. (It was not Int., but WAS Or. Se.). I do not understand why I gave in when I am content with my husband. I know that I should speak with my Bishop and start a repentance process.......but is it possible to do this without telling my spouse? I'm terrified to tell him, it will break his heart. Is there anyone out there that knows what I'm going through, or knows what to do? I feel so stupid.

9 or 10 months ago i moved my records over to the singles ward from my family ward. a few months after that, my dad got called as the singles ward bishop. my problem is... i need to do some repenting, but i DO NOT feel comfortable doing it with my dad. would it be acceptable to do it with my family ward bishop if my records are still in the singles ward? isnt he supposed to be keeping up with me anyway? are there any former bishops, or anyone that REALLY knows is there is a policy or soemthing on this???

I just want to thank everybody for their comments. Most were helpful but a few were kind of harsh. To the helpful ones, I hope your insights are not due to first, sceond, or third hand experience. It is not a fun thing to go through. To the harsh ones, let me explain some things for I believe you were al just trying to help but probably misunderstood or misread what I was intending to say. Here is the explanation. I never felt good about my addcitions...never! However, if you know addicitons they are contrary to logic. You feel one way but act another, if that makes sense. When I met this girl I was in the middle of therapy. I still am in therapy. My therapist said that I could not give love until I learned to love myself. He also said that my addicitions would be a major obstacle in giving the energy necessary in a relationship. However, I was asked to date this girl by my parents. My parents don't know any of this by the way. When I started to see her more I realized how much she made me happy. I also saw how lonely she was and how much she needed someone. Her dad just passed away last summer and she moved back to be with her mom. Her only family that stays in touch with her is her mom. Her brothers refuse to talk to her and her mom. Her grandparents refuse to talk to both of them either. She as a few freinds but work and school kind of hinder any real freindships. So when I heard what my therapist said I tried to break it off by telling everything. I told her what my therapist said. I told what I was feeling. To my suprise she pretty much just batted away my faults and doubts about dating her like they were mere flys! I tried to talk to her again and again but she kept changing the subject by saying things like 'I like you the way you are', 'you will change'. She even told me her life story about not being a virgin and falling away from the church and how she came back. She told me this to show me that we all have faults. Yet as I tried to explain to her how my addictions hindered my ability to love or even like her she batted that away. Perplexed and confused I contined to pray for answers. Now some of you mentioned in some form or another that since I had addictions I could not connect with God and recieve answers. That is an outright lie! I hope you don't say that to people. I believe, no I know, that God answers all prayers no matter who it comes from! How would any sinner, addict, lost soul, or prodigal son ever get back on track if that were true? If it were true then why do we need the Atonement? If we can't ask for help and receive it properly then why even ask? Why even try? Do not spread that lie! It will destroy people! Now then, I prayed for guidance and I got only doubts, confusion, and issues bombarding my brain every second of everyday. I finally asked my brother who is an Elder's Quorum 2nd counselor for help. He said I should ask the question 'Should I break off this relationship?"' and see wht happens. He also said that the confusion and doubt was like trying ti tune into a radio station and getting static because I was not in line with what God wanted. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. The answer was clear. I needed to break up with this girl and focus on my myself. I need to love me now. I need to clear the road of my addicitons so I can continue on the path to Heavenly Father. I broke up with her 2 hours ago and I hope she will be ok. I told her what I have told you. Will she be ok? Did I do the right thing? I need to get more support I think. I also need to talk to my bishop. This is where I need some more advice. Should I tell my parents? How do I do that? How will they react? Now some of you mentioned how incredible it was that my priesthood leaders reacted with little or no emotion and were not as strict as you would think. Here in lies the next question. Is this offence punishible by disfellowship or excommunication? I thought that's what they would have done but they didn't. They even let me keep taking the sacrament and continue with my callings!. Is this wrong? How do I tell the new bishop, if the former preisthood leaders were wrong, what should be done? If he does the same as they did what do I do? Do I talk to the stake president or higher authority? I am truly scared of this but I think I should be excommunicated. Is that wrong? I think I told you that I have been keeping up the lie and going to the temple and keeping callings and such. That is why I beleive I should be excommunicated. Are there any bishops on here or ex-bishops or know bishops who could help me out? Like I said I am truly, deeply, extemely mortified and terrified at the thought of excommunication. Not only because of the embarrassment but because I will lose the gift of the Holy Ghost and the blessings I have recieved thus far through the church. Please let me know what the protocol is for bishops dealing with masturbation and pornography. Please let me know how best I should tell my parenst if I should at all. Again thank you all for your support and concern. dashb78