LostSheep Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 My parents just let me know that they are going to get a divorce....I didn't even see it coming....I feel like crap. I don't know what to do...I never thought this would happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 Oh my dear...I'm so sorry to hear that. Ever want to talk you know how to get in touch with me. I'm here for you as always. Wish I could just give you a big hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 Just one piece of advise. Don't blame yourself for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honor Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I second Pam's advice. It's so strange to be on the other side of things. My husband and I are getting a divorce and I can't tell you how much time and tears I've spent agonizing over what it means for my son's future. I do know that Heavenly Father can bring you peace in this most emotional time in your life. Pray for it and seek out the companionship of the Holy Ghost. You'll be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I just love this kid and I'm just heartbroken for him. He's had so many struggles he is trying to overcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StallionMcBeastly Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm really sorry to hear about this - I'll pray for you. Wish I could help in some way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolaBella Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 LostSheep, I've been through this, its tough but you will get through it. Make sure you talk with both your parents and tell them what they mean to you. One unexpected outcome of my Parents divorce was that I got a lot closer to my Dad. We talk more than ever and are so close. PM me if you like, it was a very complicated divorce so Ive been throiugh a lot of stuff. Hang in there though-You will come out the other side and be alright x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 you will be in our thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 Sorry to hear about this......will keep you in our prayers.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm so sorry. I will echo everyone's words here and send a hug too. Do not ever blame yourself for your parents problems!!! Not ever! applepansy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I read an article several months ago. It discussed how much impact on older children to adult children a divorce of parents has. It appears that many adults "hold it together" until the children are out of the home. What this causes many adults is to wonder how long the lies and problems have been gong on. How long did they not like or love each other and they stayed together because "the kids were home". I am the oldest of five children. My parents divorced almost two years after I married, just as our first child was born. They could not stand to be in the same room with each other after the divorce. In each and every divorce there is one if not both people in that marriage who are selfish, selfish, selfish. One of the partners has to be only concerned about their own good. Now before everyone misunderstands what I am saying the woman who leaves a man who is physically or emotionally abusive it is the man who is being selfish. In my experience most marriages that end in divorce is due to infidelity or "I wasn't happy so wanted to find my happiness". The number of divorces due to physical and or emotional abuse, I would guess, are less than infidelity or personal self discovery. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 What terrible news! I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I don't know what to do...I never thought this would happen.I don't know what it's like, so feel free to dismiss my advice if you want to. But if I was in your shoes, I would start figuring out why I will not be following in my parent's footsteps. Kids with divorced parents end up with a higher probability of getting divorced themselves. What are you going to change about yourself today, tomorrow, next week, month, and year, to make sure you don't follow the statistics? What makes you so different, that you're not marrying your wife, you're just marrying your future ex-wife? I'd start finding dang good answers to those questions.For me personally, I might also try to figure out which parent (or maybe both of them) deserve to get a little righteous anger from me. You are 18 years old. The proclomation to the world says Children are entitled ... to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. If I was not fully 'reared' and my parents tried this on me, I'd try my best to find out who is at fault, and be sure to express my disapointment with that person.Of course, I'd have to work on forgiving them, so their dumb choices don't drag me down through my life. But I'd start with venting a little frustration.LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSheep Posted February 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 I was told the full story today...I don't want to really go into any detail at this time. Here's what makes this even harder. It's my dad's fault. Here's why I can't talk to him Loudmouth Mormon. I share the same struggle he has...I'm in no position to throw stones. I just found all this out today..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 My parents just let me know that they are going to get a divorce....I didn't even see it coming....I feel like crap. I don't know what to do...I never thought this would happen.Are they married in the temple? What is your age? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperChris Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 When this happened to me, I was 12. Honestly, I think you have an advantage for being older - regardless, this will probably always rank among the top five or so hardest things you'll hear in your life. I can't offer any advice on how to get through it - honestly, the period is a blur to me in my memory, and almost everything from before it is pretty much gone. But I can offer advice on how not to repeat their mistakes. Find out, from both of your parents, their side of the story as to why they're getting divorced. Then, when you find someone that you're seriously contemplating getting married to, discuss these problems with her, and determine how the two of you can head them off before they become problems in your marriage. I have done this with my girlfriend and we have agreed on how not to repeat my parents' mistakes if we get married, so that we can instead focus on finding new and creative ways to screw up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 I share the same struggle he has...I'm in no position to throw stones.You made covenants or took vows to remain faithful?You both might share the same struggles, but unless I'm off base, you didn't go get married, make a kid or more, and then give in to your struggles.Righteous indignation does not require perfection on the part of the person expressing it. The more you identify with your father, the more likely you are to create a similar marriage. Love him, forgive him, honor him, hug him, cry with him. But for your future wife's sake - DON'T TURN INTO HIM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mormoncutter Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 I'm sorry to here that. My parents are devorced so if you ever need to talk just pm me k. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lestertheemt Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 I can't add to what has already been spoken here.............................so (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSJonesE Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 Hey man, I know exactly how that feels. When I was 10, same thing happened to me and my 4 other sibs. If you're going through anything like what I went through, then It feels like an icy cold stab in your heart. you spend night after night crying yourself to sleep, until one day, what you hoped would never hapen... Hapens. You get used to it. You get over it. Hey, though, from experience, I'd have to say, WATCH OUT for apostasy, when my mom left my dad, She fell away. When that happens, and they've become "convinced" that the church is a cult, They do all that they can to screw with you're ties to the LDS Chruch. Say they want to save you, and using that logic, think it's better for you to never go to church, then go to the "Mormon Church" When that starts to happen, you must find out what is truly MOst impORtanT to you, and stick with it, NO matter what the cost, nor the consequence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 It's my dad's fault. Here's why I can't talk to him Loudmouth Mormon. I share the same struggle he has...I'm in no position to throw stones. I just found all this out today..... *HUGE HUGS* for you. I am sorry that you have this to deal with as well. Please try to remember that even if you have the same struggles as your dad, YOU are not HIM! YOU did not make the same choices he made as a husband and father. YOU are not the cause of your parents problems. YOU can make the choice to lead a very different life than the one he has lead. YOU can get through this. I have faith in YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elgama Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 my parents divorced when I was 13 announced it day before my 13th birthday - I had only had the thought a week previous at least my parents are still together. Important things to remember 1) Its not about you - you maybe dragged into it but its entirely about them and their relationship 2) Maybe now is the time to be honest with your Dad, its a chance for him to help you not get to that stage 3) You need to live your life 4) Continue to love them both unconditionally no matter what they do, don't take sides, they are your Mom and Dad, they have made mistakes but they still love you and will no matter how silly they get want the best for you 5) And if you dare use this as an excuse to go backwards I gonna be really sad, you are such a strong and amazing young man with a sweet spirit don't ruin it, use this as your opportunity to grow. -Charley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bert10 Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Lost Sheep...It is unfortunate for them, for all divorces are failures of the gospel of Love. Though a couple may divorce here on the earth. It does not mean that they are divorced in heaven. For God said let no man put asunder what God has joined spiritually.What can you do? You can continue to love your mom and dad and increase your love for them. They will need it if they proceed with it. Perhaps you can teach them this little know fact. For indeed with the great divorces rates...this generation is truly and a wicked and adulterous generation both in the flesh as Spiritually.Peace be unto youbert10My parents just let me know that they are going to get a divorce....I didn't even see it coming....I feel like crap. I don't know what to do...I never thought this would happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverafter Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Though a couple may divorce here on the earth. It does not mean that they are divorced in heaven. For God said let no man put asunder what God has joined spiritually.This is so true. The Prophet's have taught that it's impossible for a spouse to divorce a faithful spouse against their will. Even if the world will give them divorce papers. Brigham Young said the divorce means nothing to God (except that it's adultery on the part of the guilty party) & they are still married. Only the faithful spouse can decide if the marriage is over or not & they want to find someone new or wait for their spouse to repent in this life or the next. Joseph Fielding Smith said that God will force some spouses back to the spouse they left if they were not justified to leave. Of course after the unrighteous spouse repents in the next life, Brigham Young says they will be glad for the chance to get back to their original spouse. They will have a complete change of heart & be sorry for all they did & eager to make it all up to the spouse they hurt. That's if the faithful spouse wants them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerGolden Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 Wish I could just give you a big hug.See, sometimes we do need a Hug Button!Hang in there (((LostSheep)))!Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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