Don't know if this goes here: Is it wrong to find a certain kind of girl attractive?

[Lost_one]

Im attracted to what many call the 'churchy girl' type. I dont know why. I was that way, long before joining the church. I guess i like the sweet good girl look. Although i do like Asian, African and Latino girls too. I see beauty in all of them. They all have that special something that make them beautiful. Although if i had a choice of all types, who all had the same sweet spirit. I would probably go for the white girl, preferably Scottish, as she would be the closest to my own culture.

[yenni]

Living in a largely Filipino populated area (especially at church) this girl often gets disheartened after constantly being overlooked by the men at the singles branch. It's one thing to like what you like, and another to ignore a girl altogether because she outwardly doesn't automatically fit what you're into.

There have been quite a few times were guys would introduce themselves to girls on either side of me and skip over me completely. Even if you're not interested have some tact.

I don't think I'm that bad looking.

[gabelpa]

Living in a largely Filipino populated area (especially at church) this girl often gets disheartened after constantly being overlooked by the men at the singles branch. It's one thing to like what you like, and another to ignore a girl altogether because she outwardly doesn't automatically fit what you're into.

There have been quite a few times were guys would introduce themselves to girls on either side of me and skip over me completely. Even if you're not interested have some tact.

I don't think I'm that bad looking.

Well, if your avatar is what you really look like, you need to do something about the blue hair. It lacks a certain.. flamboyance that a brighter shade would give. Perhaps a Dayglo yellow would get you noticed more?

[yenni]

Really?! Wow you're so helpful, thank you!

[Jbs2763]

this is kinda related....

from sons of provo...silly silly movie, very chill inducing at times...but i think it kinda fits here

[Connie]

Well, yeah. I just wanted your guys opinion on something, something my siblings seem to find messed up.

Ok I like a certain type of girl, and that mostly involves them being..."asian". Yeah my sister hates me since I guess a bunch of people at BYU said they want to marry an asian girl right when other american girls were around, which tbh I wouldn't say that in public. So now my sister and others think it's rude to think a certain kind of girl is better than them, which make sense but some american girls just don't interest me all that much.

So should I have this sense of duty to marry only americans, or why can't I can't I just live like the person I am who finds asians attractive, and cool, and even heart-lifting, both asians my gender and the opposite. So do you think it's wrong to think this way?

I wish you the best of luck in your quest. You are of the "asian persuasion." Just like Patton in Fablehaven. :) One of my brothers married a beautiful Chinese girl. I was lucky enough to find a guy who preferred blond hair and blue eyes.

[Heavenguard]

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a certain type. It would only be wrong if you became exclusive or racist about it, saying you would never date or marry someone who wasn't Asian. And yes, you can be racist against your own ethnic race/culture! I've seen it, people who grow up outside of their ethnic culture, or just don't like it and try their darndest to identify with another group.

[bodhigirlsmiles]

There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever, though I think some people of Asian descent may take issue with not being considered Americans (ie, it's okay to call the BYU crowd white).

and there are many kinds of asians....

[Moksha]

and there are many kinds of asians....

Well said. A young man who likes good food should took towards Thai, Indian, Vietnamese and Korean.

[marshac]

I read once (please don't ask me to find the reference, because I just got off work ><) that girls decide on their ideal guy attributes when they are 8 years old. I guess that would apply for guys too?

Huh, I just learned that it's because they could detect that the guy was immunologically different than they were.... maybe that's just because the factoid came up in immunology.

Regardless- i'm going to be in the camp that says it doesn't matter what you like- you like what you like.... is there ever logic to it? A good friend of mine from college always claimed to have "yellow fever" (his words) and after dating a lot of girls, finally ended up marrying a korean girl. They now have two kids and couldn't be happier.

[talisyn]

Well, if your avatar is what you really look like, you need to do something about the blue hair. It lacks a certain.. flamboyance that a brighter shade would give. Perhaps a Dayglo yellow would get you noticed more?

Don't listen to this person. I had blue hair since Thanksgiving and my fiance loved it. I got bored with the mermaid thing though and dyed it blood red, except the tips are still blue.

The people at church were so sweet about it too! After a few weeks some of the older folks (over 40 lol) told me they wish they had done the same thing in the 80s

[marshac]

Don't listen to this person. I had blue hair since Thanksgiving and my fiance loved it. I got bored with the mermaid thing though and dyed it blood red, except the tips are still blue.

I too had dyed hair once- it was THIS COLOR I did it because I could, and wouldn't be able to later. All of my profs knew who I was (a good thing), and I also learned what it might be like to be a.... um....woman with considerable assets. Nobody looked at my face.... they would always look at my hair. It really got annoying.

Note to single guys- lots of girls would approach me in the mall saying that they liked my hair... my girlfriend at the time (now my wife, but still my girlfriend) always thought it was funny. Just a thought if the "certain kind of girl" you find attractive is goth and wears lots of black..... they seem to like teal hair.

EDIT- don't dye your hair if you think you might be going bald- the colored stands falling will be a constant reminder of this fact....

EDIT for the EDIT- no, i'm not bald under that cap

Edited February 28, 2009 by marshac

[mavreenrose]

So should I have this sense of duty to marry only americans, or why can't I can't I just live like the person I am who finds asians attractive, and cool, and even heart-lifting, both asians my gender and the opposite. So do you think it's wrong to think this way?

I don't there's anything wrong with being attracted to a particular kind of girl. We are all entitled to like who we want to like. If you're thinking of spending the eternities with someone, it is all the more important that you be with someone you like.

Besides, your choice of spouse should never be based on a sense of duty. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Edited February 28, 2009 by mavreenrose

[Guest missingsomething]

you like what you like and you get what you get!

[Moksha]

The heart wants what the heart wants.

you like what you like and you get what you get!

Two nuggets of wisdom in one thread!

:)

[Fiannan]

Well, yeah. I just wanted your guys opinion on something, something my siblings seem to find messed up.

Ok I like a certain type of girl, and that mostly involves them being..."asian". Yeah my sister hates me since I guess a bunch of people at BYU said they want to marry an asian girl right when other american girls were around, which tbh I wouldn't say that in public. So now my sister and others think it's rude to think a certain kind of girl is better than them, which make sense but some american girls just don't interest me all that much.

So should I have this sense of duty to marry only americans, or why can't I can't I just live like the person I am who finds asians attractive, and cool, and even heart-lifting, both asians my gender and the opposite. So do you think it's wrong to think this way?

Nobody has a right to question what kind of girl you find attractive.

[prisonchaplain]

Well, yeah. I just wanted your guys opinion on something, something my siblings seem to find messed up.

Ok I like a certain type of girl, and that mostly involves them being..."asian". Yeah my sister hates me since I guess a bunch of people at BYU said they want to marry an asian girl right when other american girls were around, which tbh I wouldn't say that in public. So now my sister and others think it's rude to think a certain kind of girl is better than them, which make sense but some american girls just don't interest me all that much.

So should I have this sense of duty to marry only americans, or why can't I can't I just live like the person I am who finds asians attractive, and cool, and even heart-lifting, both asians my gender and the opposite. So do you think it's wrong to think this way?

It does come across as racists, even if your attraction is not. I'd caution you against thinking Asian gals are somehow submissive or more dutiful than Americans as a whole. Further, some Asian gals are 5th generation American.

There is no sin in dating mostly Asians, if that is who you are initially attracted to. My wife is Korean, though her thinking is far more influenced by her faith than her culture.

[MikeUpton]

Boo-urns, Mike. I believe he is wrong and should analyze why he is only attracted to Asians. Is it because of some love of the exotic? Some feeling that they might be more pliable to his will? Is he an Anime nerd desperately trying to capture the cool feeling of the Japanese Cartoons that he watches? I'm not saying having a type is bad, but if you're only attracted to that type it will hamstring you your whole life.

And I'm not saying that because he's not attracted to me.

if you can find a nice Asian woman to marry, its not really an issue is it? is being attracted to only one type of person really going to hamstring you then?

Making sure you're attracted to someone for the right reason is a good thing though. If that's the question, by all means investigate. But don't let anybody make you feel guilty for not being attracted to a given person.

[MikeUpton]

Boo-urns, Mike. I believe he is wrong and should analyze why he is only attracted to Asians. Is it because of some love of the exotic? Some feeling that they might be more pliable to his will? Is he an Anime nerd desperately trying to capture the cool feeling of the Japanese Cartoons that he watches? I'm not saying having a type is bad, but if you're only attracted to that type it will hamstring you your whole life.

And I'm not saying that because he's not attracted to me.

if you can find a nice Asian woman to marry, its not really an issue is it? is being attracted to only one type of person really going to hamstring you then?

Making sure you're attracted to someone for the right reason is a good thing. If that's the question, by all means investigate. But don't let anybody make you feel guilty for not being attracted to a given person.

[Snow]

Well, yeah. I just wanted your guys opinion on something, something my siblings seem to find messed up.

Ok I like a certain type of girl, and that mostly involves them being..."asian". Yeah my sister hates me since I guess a bunch of people at BYU said they want to marry an asian girl right when other american girls were around, which tbh I wouldn't say that in public. So now my sister and others think it's rude to think a certain kind of girl is better than them, which make sense but some american girls just don't interest me all that much.

So should I have this sense of duty to marry only americans, or why can't I can't I just live like the person I am who finds asians attractive, and cool, and even heart-lifting, both asians my gender and the opposite. So do you think it's wrong to think this way?

Look - here's the deal... Asian girls are hot. You can hardly be blamed for that. On the other hand, American girls are also hot so there's a bit of dilemma. When it comes right down to it Finnish girls, and Columbian girls, and Russian girls, and especially Italian girls are also hot - as are the Brits and Thai and Nigerians.

On word on the Croatians or Turks just yet, but I'm optimistic.

[MikeUpton]

Look - here's the deal... Asian girls are hot. You can hardly be blamed for that. On the other hand, American girls are also hot so there's a bit of dilemma. When it comes right down to it Finnish girls, and Columbian girls, and Russian girls, and especially Italian girls are also hot - as are the Brits and Thai and Nigerians.

On word on the Croatians or Turks just yet, but I'm optimistic.

Croatians confirmed hot as are Iranians. I dont know any Turks.

[Maxel]

It depends on the 'why' of your attraction. There may be a legitimately evil influence that causes you to find one kind of girl more attractive. Then again, there may not be. If, after much soul-searching and prayerful reflection, you have no answer, then most probably it's fine. You may actually be foreordained to marry a woman of Asian decent, and your peculiar attraction to Asian women may be a blessing in that regard.

Also, there is a legitimate argument for one being attracted to certain cultural or physical characteristics that predominantly exist within certain races of people. In such a case, I don't think you can be faulted for finding girls of Asian decent more attractive than others.

In the end, test the fruits of your attraction: does it lead you to over-sexualize Asian women, or to look down on non-Asian women? Is it an attraction of an unhealthy caliber or quality? Or, is it an attraction that somehow helps you to feel more charitable to your fellow (wo)men? Only you can answer those questions, and the answer to these questions will most accurately give you insight to your original question. By any entity's fruits, ye shall know the goodness of that entity/phenomenon.

One last pithy question: does this attraction cause you to value a women's racial heritage above her spiritual person?

[MikeUpton]

One last pithy question: does this attraction cause you to value a women's racial heritage above her spiritual person?

Its a good question to ponder, where your priorities are. Its also a good thing that a woman's racial heritage is an independent question from where she is spiritually; one need not sacrifice one to have the other (speaking generally and not specifically).

Edit: Said not to invalidate Maxel's point, but to create an additional thought.

Edited March 8, 2009 by MikeUpton

[Stampede]

I also have been attracted very much to asian women my whole life. However, i was also attracted to any girl of almost any ethnicity (except for African American, and i know it's irrational, it's not something i can control).

I think i know why. It was because iw as searching for my wife. She is from the Philippines, but she left when she was 4 and her family moved to the states. She is so much american that she knows english better than i do (becaus ei am a redneck) and she makes fun of me for it.

I think that everyone has thier own dislikes and likes the same with any matter of opinion. I do not like Indian food, but i love mexican. I do not like Thai food, but i love Italian.

There is nothing wrong with having prefrences. However, if you let it interfere with finding a compatable mate and fulfilling the purpose of your creation, you need to rethink your position and possibly find help in overcoming your bias.

[aranyborju]

It is not wrong to be attracted to any girl as long as her ring finger is shorter than her index (pointer) finger. Trust me.