Can I handle living in a high Mormon population area?

[Blocky]

My husband will be getting transferred for work in about two years. Two of the possible states are Utah and Idaho.

I've lived mostly in California, a few years in Oregon and Washington and when I was 12-13 in Missouri. None of the areas had a large LDS population. I've never been to Utah. The area I live in now is just South of San Fransisco and a lot of people have hostility to LDS values and ideas. I rather like being the 'odd Mormon out'. I didn't mind in high school being one of a handful of LDS kids and correcting our history teachers that Mormons no longer practice polygamy, are not a cult and is not spelled "Moron."

What I'm wondering is, how different will it be living in a town that is 3/4th LDS? My husband is inactive, will he feel very pressured? Is it possible to live in a large LDS community and be active in the church and still be a private person who doesn't like house guests? For the most part I would think it would be just like living in any other place. Then I hear about people showing up on someones door with a meal because they didn't go to church that day and they hope they feel better, even though there's nothing wrong.

I'm curious to hear what life is like for those who live in densely LDS populated areas!

[selek]

Hi Blocky,

I'm a convert to the Church and spent my life in Texas, Louisiana, Michigan, Connecticut, Virginia, and Colorado.

I moved to Utah a little over five years ago, and I'll share with you what my last Bishop in Colorado told me: Utah is a state like any other, filled with people like any other. You'll encounter some good, some bad, and it doesn't have a thing to do with their membership in the Church.

What I'm wondering is, how different will it be living in a town that is 3/4th LDS?

You won't have to put up with as much cigarette smoke- and none whatsoever in restaurants.

My husband is inactive, will he feel very pressured?

It depends upon the ward you wind up in and whether or not the people there are boorish or not- just like in your current ward.

Is it possible to live in a large LDS community and be active in the church and still be a private person who doesn't like house guests?

Absolutely.

For the most part I would think it would be just like living in any other place.

And you would be right.

Then I hear about people showing up on someones door with a meal because they didn't go to church that day and they hope they feel better, even though there's nothing wrong.

Never heard that one before...but isn't it nice to know that people are thinking about your well-being (even if they might be a little clueless)?

I'm curious to hear what life is like for those who live in densely LDS populated areas!

The only difference I've noticed is more ward buildings per square mile and fewer liquor stores.

[Mute]

I moved to Logan Utah from West Virginia about three months ago. The first thing I noticed is that people are much more friendly. For example, I went into Kentucky Fried Chicken and I thought it was the happiest place on Earth. When the person at the counter asked if they could take my order, I didn't hesitate to say "YES YOU MAY!".

I'm not religious at all and I really haven't felt pressured by very many people to change that in any way. The only people I've felt pressured by is one or two people I met at college and that's because they assumed I was an investigator. Over all, no one seems to care though. People go and buy on Sunday, they smoke, drink and no one says anything. The only hostile people that I've met in Logan so far are the two street preachers that hang out at Utah State University. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[Backroads]

I think the idea of a state of crazy Mormons is more intense than the reality...

[Dravin]

I think the idea of a state of crazy Mormons is more intense than the reality...

I'll second that. Having lived in Utah for several years that idea that it's just a feature of the state (or LDS population density) that strangers are waiting to come over with Jello if you miss a Sunday seems strange. But maybe I lived in the unfriendly parts?

[pam]

I moved to Logan Utah from West Virginia about three months ago. The first thing I noticed is that people are much more friendly. For example, I went into Kentucky Fried Chicken and I thought it was the happiest place on Earth. When the person at the counter asked if they could take my order, I didn't hesitate to say "YES YOU MAY!".

They moved Disneyland to Logan?

[Mute]

They moved Disneyland to Logan?

I've never been to Disneyland but I'm sure it can't be much better than Kentucky Fried Chicken in Logan when it comes to their customer service.

[annewandering]

I lived in Southern Idaho as a child and was very much not wanted around, went to school in Moscow, Idaho with few LDS people and loved the church there. Went to CA, Oakland and Newark. Found some wards were very good and some were very bad. Moved to Salt Lake and LOVED it. Since have moved back to my childhood town to find that it had changed a lot in time I was gone and while it is not my favorite place it is a very good place.

What I have found is that it does matter who is in your ward but it is mostly about your love of God that matters. With the love of God you will be good anywhere. In a great ward you will have so much fun though lol. I think the best ward I was ever in was in Kearns. Kearns 1st ward if I remember right. What a wonderful place.

[beefche]

I moved to Logan Utah from West Virginia about three months ago. The first thing I noticed is that people are much more friendly. For example, I went into Kentucky Fried Chicken and I thought it was the happiest place on Earth. When the person at the counter asked if they could take my order, I didn't hesitate to say "YES YOU MAY!".

Haha! Someone watched "Houseguest" recently?

[Backroads]

I've never been to Disneyland but I'm sure it can't be much better than Kentucky Fried Chicken in Logan when it comes to their customer service.

You convinced me. Next time we're wondering about dinner, we're going to KFC! It's good to know they'll be nicer to us than the weird girls at the new Sushi-Ya.

[sister_in_faith]

It's funny, I've never lived in Utah, but I have heard a lot of negative things about living there. They say that members of the church there are very competitive amongst each other as to who can be "more righteous", and that Sunday meetings are more about who is wearing what than the meetings themselves... I have NO idea if any of that is even remotely true, but I know that listening to sisters who used to live in Utah talk about it cured me of any desire I had to move to Utah.

Please tell me that this isn't true!!! It really gets me down to think that these things could even be close to the way things really are!

[Mahone]

It's funny, I've never lived in Utah, but I have heard a lot of negative things about living there. They say that members of the church there are very competitive amongst each other as to who can be "more righteous", and that Sunday meetings are more about who is wearing what than the meetings themselves... I have NO idea if any of that is even remotely true, but I know that listening to sisters who used to live in Utah talk about it cured me of any desire I had to move to Utah.

Please tell me that this isn't true!!! It really gets me down to think that these things could even be close to the way things really are!

I don't know if it happens in Utah, as I've never lived there (or any US state so far for that matter), but I do know it happens here in the UK. I went inactive for a while because of it. It may or may not happen more densely in Utah, but it's far from the only place that suffers from such immature behaviour.

[annewandering]

I am sure it happens but in the Kearns ward lots of us walked to church together. I have no clue what any of them were wearing. They accepted us and believe me lots dont. Not only accepted but loved. They were so much fun too. Now I am getting homesick for that time.

[Mute]

Back east, I've gone to church in both suits and jeans and a T shirt. No one cared either way. In Utah, I've only gone to church a handful of times and I always wear a suit. No one has ever compared themselves to what I was wearing. I never got the impression anyone was looking down at me because of the way I was dressed. I wear a suit when I go because I prefer to blend in rather than someone think I'm an investigator or an inactive member. I just don't want to stand out. People have always been very friendly every time I go. I haven't had any negative experiences from it so far. I hope that helps.

[Blocky]

This is great feed back. Thanks everyone! My thoughts are swirling with ideas and possibility. I love the idea of being able to buy a house one day. Right now, the medium home price is just under 500k here and it's nice to look at places that are actually affordable, with high LDS populations or not!

[applepansy]

It's funny, I've never lived in Utah, but I have heard a lot of negative things about living there. They say that members of the church there are very competitive amongst each other as to who can be "more righteous", and that Sunday meetings are more about who is wearing what than the meetings themselves... I have NO idea if any of that is even remotely true, but I know that listening to sisters who used to live in Utah talk about it cured me of any desire I had to move to Utah.

Please tell me that this isn't true!!! It really gets me down to think that these things could even be close to the way things really are!

Its no more true than other places.

I leave in a rural/recreational area. We have visitors who come to church in shorts and Tshits with flip flops. Happy to have them there!!! We also have an AA facility in our ward boundaries. Our ward missionaries offer rides to any of the men there who want to attend meetings during their stay. They rarely have a suit. We're very happy to have them in church with us.

I think if you're looking for a particular attribute (positive or negative) in any group of people, you're going to find it. :)

[Blackmarch]

My husband will be getting transferred for work in about two years. Two of the possible states are Utah and Idaho.

I've lived mostly in California, a few years in Oregon and Washington and when I was 12-13 in Missouri. None of the areas had a large LDS population. I've never been to Utah. The area I live in now is just South of San Fransisco and a lot of people have hostility to LDS values and ideas. I rather like being the 'odd Mormon out'. I didn't mind in high school being one of a handful of LDS kids and correcting our history teachers that Mormons no longer practice polygamy, are not a cult and is not spelled "Moron."

What I'm wondering is, how different will it be living in a town that is 3/4th LDS? My husband is inactive, will he feel very pressured? Is it possible to live in a large LDS community and be active in the church and still be a private person who doesn't like house guests? For the most part I would think it would be just like living in any other place. Then I hear about people showing up on someones door with a meal because they didn't go to church that day and they hope they feel better, even though there's nothing wrong.

I'm curious to hear what life is like for those who live in densely LDS populated areas!

well theres always a culture pressure of some sort no matter where you live. I think if you can handle the crazy folk in california, you'll be able to survive utah or idaho .... just beware those survivalist/anarchist nutjobs

[Blocky]

well theres always a culture pressure of some sort no matter where you live. I think if you can handle the crazy folk in california, you'll be able to survive utah or idaho .... just beware those survivalist/anarchist nutjobs

This place is one of the weirdest places I've ever been. When I was younger there was this group I called the mud people. They'd run around down town totally naked but cover in mud. They had kids and dogs with them. It was bizarre.

I worked the night shift at a shady hotel for a while. That really opened my eyes to how much drug and prostitution activity there is. Kind of sad that in a way I'm more comfortable dealing with neighbors who deal drugs than those who are annoyed that I don't bring my trash cans in right away.

[HEthePrimate]

I grew up in the "mission field," but moved to Utah for the last two years of high school (and later BYU). I LOVED Utah! :) There's nothing wrong with living where there aren't many Mormons (though I do prefer to avoid morons! ), but I was a shy kid, and felt less like the odd man out after moving to Utah.

In some ways I think it's actually easier to go inactive in Utah than elsewhere. I'm back in the "mission field" again, and if someone stops coming to church, we notice it. In Utah, or other places with lots of LDS, there are so many members of the Church that it's easier to go unnoticed if you stop attending. I've never been inactive myself, but I do notice it more when people disappear when there aren't many of us to begin with.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure it'll be fine. If people cross your boundaries, just tell them to stop.

Take care!

HEP

[NeuroTypical]

Such a thread would not be complete without the following crucial information:

You know you're from Utah when...

Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.

You can pronounce Tooele.

The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.

You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.

You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.

You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".

Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.

Hunting season is a school holiday.

The largest liquor store is the state government.

You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.

30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.

Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.

You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.

The elevation exceeds the population

You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you

You can see the stars at night

You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."

You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.

Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.

You have more children than you can find biblical names for.

Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out.

Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.

You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.

Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.

You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.

You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.

At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.

You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.

You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.

There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.

You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.

You negotiate prices at a garage sale.

You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.

You've heard about BYU football in a spiritual talk at church.

You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.

Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.

A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.

Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.

Sandals are the best-selling shoes.

You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."

You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.

You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.

You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.

You're on your own if you are turning left.

Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.

People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.

There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.

The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.

People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.

In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.

Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.

Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.

When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.

Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.

Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.

"Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.

More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.

You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.

Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from.

You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.

You have more raw wheat in your basement than some Third World countries.

Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.

Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.

You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.

You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.

You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.

You might be a Utah Mormon if:

You won't drink ice tea because the Word of Wisdom cousels avoiding hot beverages.

If you think forty-five members is about right for a Quorum of Seventy.

If all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape.

If you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday.

If you believe Heck is the place for people who do not believe in gosh.

If your Mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding reception

If you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body" before eating doughnuts.

If you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups.

If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house.

If you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two missionaries on the same day..

If you were frustrated when your son "only" got accepted to Harvard.

If you have one kid in diapers and one on a mission.

If you have never arrived at a meeting on time.

If you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries.

If you've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory".

If you think it is all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing.

If you have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining.

If you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers.

If you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi

If you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there.

[lizzy16]

I had the same worries about going to an LDS school. I miss non members. I miss being able to tell my friends and others about God. But, I love being in the "Mormon bubble". However, I'd never raise my kids in such an enviorment. I want them to gain a testimony and be challenged.

[Jennarator]

Two years ago I moved from San Diego to IDaho. The first ward I lived in (in Idaho) I hated. Too many "plastic girls" that tried to be prefect, and didn't help those in need. Now I am in a different ward ward I love. Same as in San Diego, good wards and bad ones.

I miss everything that everyone else said, but I DO like my kids being here. They were so excited when we first moved here and kids in thier school class also were in their church class!! This was exciting for them. Things are not perfect, there is a bit of judging going on, but it's not bad. Very different, but not bad.

I do miss the big city, tho....

[Vort]

I had the same worries about going to an LDS school. I miss non members. I miss being able to tell my friends and others about God. But, I love being in the "Mormon bubble". However, I'd never raise my kids in such an enviorment. I want them to gain a testimony and be challenged.

Utah kids have lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of challenges.

About half the missionaries in my mission were from Utah. While it is true that the very worst missionaries tended to be Utahans, it is equally true that the very best were also usually from Utah.

I think the prejudice against "Utah Mormons" is mostly hooey, and the idea that we should raise our kids outside Utah so that they're somehow spiritually stronger is false and betrays misplaced anxiety.

[Dravin]

I think the prejudice against "Utah Mormons" is mostly hooey, and the idea that we should raise our kids outside Utah so that they're somehow spiritually stronger is false and betrays misplaced anxiety.

I agree. Honestly it is the counterpart to the sometimes voiced "Utah/Idaho/Arizona Mormon" idea that you need to live in Utah/Idaho/Arizona so your kids can grow up with a strong testimony and true to the faith instead of falling to the inevitable wickedness of the "mission field."

[HEthePrimate]

About half the missionaries in my mission were from Utah. While it is true that the very worst missionaries tended to be Utahans, it is equally true that the very best were also usually from Utah.

Seems likely that this is simply a side effect of Utah having so durn many Mormons!

I think the prejudice against "Utah Mormons" is mostly hooey, and the idea that we should raise our kids outside Utah so that they're somehow spiritually stronger is false and betrays misplaced anxiety.

Agreed. This attitude seems to be dying out here, but for a long time, LDS folks in my area frequently criticized Utah Mormons, and tried to "out Mormon" the Utahns. I admit that as a result, I felt that way myself, until I moved to Utah and discovered that Utahns are people like the rest of us, many of them quite nice.

Still, I had to laugh a few years ago when a woman from Utah moved into my ward and bore her testimony. She had been afraid to move to "the mission field," but was relieved to learn, after a few months of being here, that the Church is just as true here as it is in Utah. I imagine a lot of people in my ward were rolling their eyes at that one!

Edited October 4, 2011 by HEthePrimate