Fast Offerings: How do you know when you just can't give?

[MormonMama]

DH and I usually try to give at least $10 each for fast offerings. But our combined paychecks this week are literally going to be less than we will need for bills, gas and groceries until next payday.

I know that fast offerings are voluntary, but when is it okay to say we just can't do it this month? Is it ever okay to say that? We've always tried to give something, but we don't want that amount to be so low that it's an insult to those who are worse off than we.

[Vort]

Two thoughts:

1. Your donations are your business. No one is going to be offended.

2. If you don't eat for two meals and save the money you would have spent on that food -- which is exactly what a fast offering is -- then you will not be out any more money than you would have been anyway.

[MormonMama]

But that's just it: we're buying LESS food than before. We're literally living on mac n' cheese and rice (and I'm pregnant, so I'm not even supposed to be fasting). Is that amount too small to bother with? We're talking a couple of dollars.

[MarginOfError]

My philosophy is that if you are in a position where you could be receiving assistance from Fast Offering, you shouldn't be paying into it. And by the way, if you're moving to an insufficient diet because of funds, you should probably be seeking assistance. Especially if you're pregnant.

[estradling75]

Was the Widows mites to small to be bothered with?

Mark 12:42 

[MormonMama]

We've thought about asking our bishop for help, but we just moved into a brand-new ward and we're two months behind on tithing. We feel like it would almost be slapping the Lord in the face to ask for assistance from the Church when we're not paying into that assistance.

We only have to make it through one more month, then we'll be back to earning a regular income (though DH is trying to find higher paying work as well).

Was the Widows mites to small to be bothered with?

Mark 12:42

I'm glad you brought that up, as I'd forgotten all about that! That definitely gives me some food for thought (no pun intended). Thanks!

[NeuroTypical]

Fast Offerings are different than tithing. With tithing, you can find a gazillion saints with stories about how they paid even when they couldn't afford it, and there were miracles, and everything turned out good, and what have you. Tithing is a commandment, and following commandments bring blessings, even when it seems like the fiscally wrong thing to do.

Fast offerings are different. FO are the backbone of the church welfare system - how we help each other out and do service for one another - how we bear one another's burdens that they may be light. If you go a week or two with more going out than coming in, then you find yourself in the 'burdened' camp. (Hopefully it's temporary.) In such cases, the bishop can offer the aid and support of the church if needed.

If going a week or two without paying a fast offering bugs you, you can always find other ways to serve and help your fellow saint. Say to yourself "instead of blessing folks monitarily this week, I'll bless them by [X]". Then go do [X].

That's my two cents anyways. I once dragged my poor wife through 6 months of unemployment. I remember how much it stank. God bless.

[MormonMama]

Thank you, LM. You bring up a great point about doing other service. Maybe we should ask the Bishop what service we can offer in lieu of fast offerings this month. Or maybe we can pay our "mite" this month and pay a little extra next month (we've certainly paid more than the cost of two meals in the past when we can afford it).

[MarginOfError]

Not having paid your tithing is a lousy reason to not seek assistance that you are in need of. But if it really bothers you (be warned, this may come out judgmental--I don't mean it to be), then repent, pay your tithing, and ask for assistance.

Church welfare and fast offering are intended to provide temporary assistance when people find themselves in a bad spot. If your situation is only going to continue for another month, then I would say that qualifies as temporary. As an adult, you may be able to bear the burden of malnourishment for a month fairly well. I don't recommend it for your child.

Have I mentioned yet that I think you should probably ask for help? :)

[Vort]

No, a couple of dollars is certainly not "too small to be bothered with". Not at all.

But if you are in such financial straits that you are behind on tithing (a red flag!), I would tend to agree that you probably should be receiving Church assistance. Talk to your bishop. How long you have been in the ward is irrelevant. And if you're expecting, you should have a better diet than Mac & Cheese.

[MarginOfError]

Wait...did Vort and I just agree on something?

Repent, ye ends of the earth. The end is near!

[MormonMama]

We fully intend to pay our tithing (and no, I don't think you were being judgmental :) ), but at this point it is going to take us months to catch up. I mostly feel weird going to the bishop because we are brand new in the ward, we've literally only been there two weeks. We just feel like we'd be saying, "Hi, we're the So-and-So family, give us food."

[MarginOfError]

We fully intend to pay our tithing (and no, I don't think you were being judgmental :) ), but at this point it is going to take us months to catch up. I mostly feel weird going to the bishop because we are brand new in the ward, we've literally only been there two weeks. We just feel like we'd be saying, "Hi, we're the So-and-So family, give us food."

Again, if it makes it easier for you, draw up a sheet showing a forecast of your expenses and income. If you can pinpoint a time frame at which your income will normalize and exceed your expenses, you can give a clear picture of your situation and your needs. What better opportunity could you have to show your dedication and understanding to the principles of Church welfare?

[MormonMama]

Thank you, MarginofError. I guess we need to swallow our pride and embarrassment and go to our Bishop. We will definitely do what you suggested and write up a budget of our income and expenses and how much extra tithing we can pay each month until it is caught up, and how long that will take. On top of that, we will ask the Bishop what other service we can perform to help contribute in ways other than financially.

[Vort]

Thank you, MarginofError. I guess we need to swallow our pride and embarrassment and go to our Bishop. We will definitely do what you suggested and write up a budget of our income and expenses and how much extra tithing we can pay each month until it is caught up, and how long that will take. On top of that, we will ask the Bishop what other service we can perform to help contribute in ways other than financially.

True story, believe it or not:

A couple with whom I am very well-acquainted once neglected, in all innocence, to pay their tithing FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR. They did not discover this until they were preparing for tithing settlement. The brother involved explained the situation to his bishop. The bishop did not revoke their temple recommends or scold them for such irresponsibility. In fact, the bishop did not even tell him they needed to repay the tithing. In this specific case, the bishop said, "Start paying your tithing again and don't worry about the rest."

(This particular brother has occasional obedience issues, and this was one of those times. He worried about the rest. He and his wife insisted on doubling up on tithing over the next year to "pay back" the tithing they missed. And they haven't failed to pay tithing since -- or before -- that incident.)

The point is, the bishop, and very probably the Lord, was/were less interested in the money than in the state of mind and heart of this couple. So go talk to your bishop and let him guide you.

[Backroads]

We've thought about asking our bishop for help, but we just moved into a brand-new ward and we're two months behind on tithing. We feel like it would almost be slapping the Lord in the face to ask for assistance from the Church when we're not paying into that assistance.

My first reaction: By not asking for help when you need it, you're just digging yourself into a deeper hole. The Lord will not be offended.

[Wingnut]

Is that amount too small to bother with? We're talking a couple of dollars.

No amount of sacrifice is so small that the Lord won't bless you for it.

Though I tend to agree with those who say that perhaps at this point you are a better candidate for drawing from the fast offering funds than paying into them.

We fully intend to pay our tithing (and no, I don't think you were being judgmental :) ), but at this point it is going to take us months to catch up.

When I was in my early 20s, I got about 6 months behind on paying my tithing. Mostly I was lazy and irresponsible. I felt guilty, but wasn't sure what to do -- it felt like too much to try to pay back. I talked with my bishop about it, and he told me that I could pay the back tithing if I wanted, but what I needed to do was to start paying tithing from that day going forward, and not to miss anymore. I don't think I've missed/delayed paying my tithing again since then. I never did quite make it up (I did some back pay, but not much), and I felt guilty and weird about it at first. Eventually I came to feel peace about the counsel my bishop had given me, and I moved on with my life.

[Blackmarch]

DH and I usually try to give at least $10 each for fast offerings. But our combined paychecks this week are literally going to be less than we will need for bills, gas and groceries until next payday.

I know that fast offerings are voluntary, but when is it okay to say we just can't do it this month? Is it ever okay to say that? We've always tried to give something, but we don't want that amount to be so low that it's an insult to those who are worse off than we.

there is no such thing as too low.

Theres an excellent example in the bible about a lady who gave two mites.... which i've heard is less than a cent (dunno how true that is, but i think the imagery is appropriate).

besides the tithe money and etc is pooled together and counted and recorded before it's sent out to be used. And the only individuals (IE clerks and bishopric) who might know what people have given should be keeping such things private (i've never been in a ward where its a problem and generally haven't heard any tales of grief from that direction).

and ditto to what Vort said.

edit: and wingnut.

and dont be afraid to ask for help too.

Edited August 8, 2012 by Blackmarch

[pam]

Once upon a time I refused to ask for church assistance because my pride got in the way. I've told this story before. However, the Bishop finally pulled me into his office and said, "Pam this isn't about you and your pride. This is about those 3 kids you have."

Well this is basically the same thing. Forget the pride. This isn't about you. This is about that baby you are carrying that needs proper nutrition. Get over it and ask for assistance. That's what it's there for and that's why we pay fast offerings.

[skalenfehl]

I cancelled cable TV over a year ago. That combined with other worldly expenses that I don't worry about any more has freed up a lot more money to contribute generously to fast offerings.

[Wingnut]

edit: and wingnut.

and dont be afraid to ask for help too.

That story is about 10 years old by now, and definitely not currently applicable to me.

[mnn727]

My philosophy is that if you are in a position where you could be receiving assistance from Fast Offering, you shouldn't be paying into it. And by the way, if you're moving to an insufficient diet because of funds, you should probably be seeking assistance. Especially if you're pregnant.

Exactly! People in your situation are the reason I pay my fast offerings, please accept the help and we'll ALL be blessed.

Edited August 8, 2012 by mnn727

[Traveler]

The concept concerning help is exactly that. There have been a lot of good comments and there are a lot of examples in scripture of individuals acting in faith.

The point is so simple everyone should understand the following:

1. Everyone contributes - Everyone gives something. Some with greater abundance give more but the point of importance is that in the L-rd system everyone contributes. This is key to many things especially self-esteem. It is the very foundation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. G-d has designed his kingdom to allow everyone to be invested in a good cause.

2. Everyone receives - this surprisingly is the more difficult of the two to understand. Everyone wants to be the one honored for their sacrifice. This is often a pride issue but it keeps us all connected in ways that are critical. When the multimillionaire accepts assistance from the poor starving widow - however small - two things happen. One is that the multimillionaire becomes much less connected to their things and more connected to people around them and second the poor starving widow becomes equal to the multimillionaire and just as needed.

The greatest giving is not money. Money is easily replaced but the giving of one's time is not replaceable. Those that give their time give the greater portion and the greater gift. Likewise the greatest help is not money but someone else's time. Those that give money and things are in debt to those that give of their time - only through the L-rd methods and not the methods of the world can this lesson be learned by the very rich as well as the very poor and everybody else in between.

The Traveler

[NightSG]

But that's just it: we're buying LESS food than before. We're literally living on mac n' cheese and rice (and I'm pregnant, so I'm not even supposed to be fasting). Is that amount too small to bother with? We're talking a couple of dollars.

Trust me, they'd rather open the envelope to find $1-2 each for the fast offering than a couple scoops of mac & cheese. When fast Sunday meant skipping 2 packs of ramen and a $1.09 3 liter bottle of store brand root beer, my offering amount looked pretty pathetic too...and I was putting in about 4x what those two "meals" would have cost.

(FWIW, I don't think He really appreciates it when your prayers include "and I thank thee for giving me an excuse not to eat that nasty stuff for a few more hours.")

Edited September 4, 2012 by NightSG

[EarlJibbs]

Great posts. I 2nd (or 3rd...) the advice that if you are in need of assistance, what good will it do to give money to the fast offering pool? Will that money, technically be coming back to you?

I often think of the airplane instructions when you first board. They talk about the air masks in case of an emergency, about helping yourself and placing your mask on before you help others do the same. If you are in a situation where you truely need assistance, should you not get help yourself first, before turning to your neighbor to help them? What good can you accomplish if you are helpless because you tried to help everyone else first, then decided to try to save yourself?

Last year was actually one of my best years as far as our income went and we were giving what I thought was a generous offering (more so that we had ever given prior) every month. Well this year, is a different story, we are taken care of, but are not in a situation to give as much as we had last year. At first we felt a little guilty for not giving as much, but had to think to ourselves, although this isnt as much, this is still "generous" in our hearts and we know it is a good offering.