Moral Standards?

[ConfusedSkip]

I am 19 and am just wondering what exactly is the extent of moral standards to stay temple worthy? My girlfriend and I want to stay temple worthy but I don't know how far we can go and stay temple worthy (besides the obvious one not having sex). We are pretty serious and really love each other. The most I've done is have my hand on the inside of her pants and just rubbing her thigh and lower stomach (but not all the way down). We haven't even made out or anything else yet, we've just kept it at a kiss or two at a time. Are we doing ok?

[NeuroTypical]

Put 1000 couples in a room who don't want to go much further than rubbing each other's "lower stomachs", and how many pregnancies do you think will happen?

Skip, it isn't about figuring out exactly how close you can come before screwing up. It's about having respect for a potential future bride. Sounds like you're hoping you can disrespect her a little more before you have to stop.

[annewandering]

I would say you are in danger with what you are doing. Are you planning on going on a mission? Are you planning on getting married soon? Consider what you are planning and unless you are planning on getting married soon it would be better to keep hands off. Especially out of clothing. Are you spending a lot of time alone with your girlfriend? Public areas where you wont be tempted would be better.

[Guest]

I think keeping your hands out of each other's pants is a good start. Maybe stop being alone so much. And for crying out loud, make your engagement short.

[ConfusedSkip]

Thank you all for your answers so far, they really helped. Your right , that is wrong. It's just so tempting because I love her so much and want to be closer to her every way possible, but I suppose by showing the strength to resist is much more respectful and will gain me points in the end right.

[pam]

I am happy that you want to remain temple worthy. I commend you for that.

You may not have meant it but it kind of came off as to asking how far you could go without it becoming a problem? As was said..instead of finding out where your boundaries are for sin, stay completely away from it. I know it's hard when those darn ol' hormones start kicking in.

[ConfusedSkip]

Thank you all for your answers so far, they really helped. Your right , that is wrong. It's just so tempting because I love her so much and want to be closer to her every way possible, but I suppose by showing the strength to resist is much more respectful and will gain me points in the end right.

[Vort]

I am 19 and am just wondering what exactly is the extent of moral standards to stay temple worthy? My girlfriend and I want to stay temple worthy but I don't know how far we can go and stay temple worthy (besides the obvious one not having sex). We are pretty serious and really love each other. The most I've done is have my hand on the inside of her pants and just rubbing her thigh and lower stomach (but not all the way down). We haven't even made out or anything else yet, we've just kept it at a kiss or two at a time. Are we doing ok?

Keep your hands off her private parts. You can touch her hands, her forearms, her face, and her feet and lower legs. Other than that, hands off. When you kiss her, keep your tongue in your own mouth. No lingual tonsillectomies. When you talk to her, don't talk sexually. Don't tell her what you'd like to do to her or with her. Don't demonstrate the flashlight in your pants. Treat her the way you would want your sister's boyfriend to treat your sister. There will be a time for sex play -- and that time is after you're married to her. Until then, don't play with fire. These are sacred things, and you are not authorized to use them. So don't.

[Magus]

...what about a mission?

[ditd]

Skip, might I suggest what my fiance and I try to do:

We try to keep our standards as strict and high as possible. No upper leg, lower stomach touching no passionate kissing, no being unsupervised in bedrooms or places where we could get into trouble and staying vertical at all times.

We do this because we know we will slip up and we have. Sometimes we end up having a passionate kiss or arms are wrapped around the others stomach or thigh.

However because we have ensured the standards that we are trying to achieve are strcter than what is allowed it means that we stay away from the serious line of sexual sin

it might not be the best way to go about keeping the commandments but it has really worked for us but it is by no means easy

[NightSG]

No lingual tonsillectomies.

I haven't had tonsils since I was 6. Does that mean I get to go farther than the people who still have them?

[mikbone]

Thank you all for your answers so far, they really helped. Your right , that is wrong. It's just so tempting because I love her so much and want to be closer to her every way possible, but I suppose by showing the strength to resist is much more respectful and will gain me points in the end right.

Yes, there is much to be gained by doing what is right. Your honor and her chastity are priceless. Once you cross a line your honor and her chastity will never be the same. Realize what you have and defend it with all your might. The adversary wants you to fail. Do what you know is right and let her know that you are doing the right thing for the right reasons. She will respect and honor you for it.

You have your whole married life to explore the joy of procreation. Before marriage, it is fornication, just dirty sex. It is a horrible substitute. Do not fall for one of satan's most popular tricks. The consequences of which can be devastating.

You should also honor her mortal Father. Would you have asked either her mortal or Immortal Father what activity you could get away with? Sounds silly, no?

[selek]

Be grateful her father didn't catch you and don't do it again.

If it were my daughter, you'd be needing someone to help open your ketchup bottles.

Serious question here:

Assume for a moment that you will NEVER get to have sex with this girl.

Do you still want to be with her? Are your passions for er company still running as high?

Don't lie to either me or yourself.

If the answer is anything other than a whole-hearted and unreserved "yes", then it's not "love" you're struggling with, but rather it's lust.

Don't be ashamed, God gave us that for a reason, too.

But you need to decide which passion you will be ruled by: a craving for temporary sexual satisfaction or an eternal and godly love and respect.

Choose wisely.

[MarginOfError]

There's more to it than what you are or are not touching

Strongly tied to the sacred, private parts of the body are powerful emotions intended to be used within the covenant of marriage between a man and woman in ways that are appropriate and acceptable to them both. They are an important part of the love and trust that bond a husband and wife together and prepare them for the responsibilities of a family. They bring the blessing of children. These emotions are not to be stimulated or used for personal gratification outside of the covenant of marriage.

If you two are doing things to arouse each other sexually, then you are breaking the law of chastity.

[skippy740]

I am 19 and am just wondering what exactly is the extent of moral standards to stay temple worthy? My girlfriend and I want to stay temple worthy but I don't know how far we can go and stay temple worthy (besides the obvious one not having sex). We are pretty serious and really love each other. The most I've done is have my hand on the inside of her pants and just rubbing her thigh and lower stomach (but not all the way down). We haven't even made out or anything else yet, we've just kept it at a kiss or two at a time. Are we doing ok?

1. When is the wedding?

2. When is the report date to the MTC?

3. Wouldn't either of those blessings be at a personal & spiritual risk until you talk to your Bishop?

Sidenote: I'm not a "confused" skip.

[applepansy]

Thank you all for your answers so far, they really helped. Your right , that is wrong. It's just so tempting because I love her so much and want to be closer to her every way possible, but I suppose by showing the strength to resist is much more respectful and will gain me points in the end right.

Gain points?

Wouldn't you rather gain Eternal Life in the Celestial Kingdom? With her if she decides she wants to marry you.

I want to ask about a mission too.... are you going?

[beefche]

Ahhh, 19 years old? Here are a couple of lessons. First, you don't want to know "how far you can go" with sin. You want to stay as far away from it as you can. That means in a relationship, you respect her AND you enough to not even think of how far you can go before it's too far. Review For Strength of Youth pamphlet (this is something that ALL members of the church can use, but especially for those who are beginning their dating life).

Second, the Lord isn't a Master Score Keeper. He doesn't "give points" for doing good or take points away for doing something bad. The Gospel is all about becoming. So, being a chaste, respectful gentleman, isn't about scoring points with God or the girl. It's about being a chaste, respectful gentleman. That means you learn what it means to be those things and then set out to do those things in order to change who you are.

Finally, at 19 years old you should be preparing to serve a mission. And as a former missionary, let me tell you that you DO NOT want a girlfriend while on your mission. Way too many distractions. You two should date other people now and when you leave on your mission, she doesn't wait for you and you only communicate by email/letter infrequently. If she is still available after your mission, then you two can date to see if you are compatible--just remember the Gospel is about becoming and as a missionary you will change alot. She may or may not have changed along with you and that is why you date AFTER your mission to find out if she is someone you can be with and vice versa.

[mnn727]

I saw this quote for the first time yesterday and thought it really applied in this situation

From Elder Holland:

“The future of this world has long been declared; the final outcome between good and evil is already known. There is absolutely no question as to who wins because the victory has already been posted on the scoreboard. The only really strange thing about all of this is that we are still down here on the field trying to decide which team's jersey we want to wear!”

Keep your hands out of areas that are covered by clothes - they're covered for a reason.