Callings

[Palerider]

Did not know what to call this so I decided to call it callings.

My oldest daughter was recently called as a councilor in Primary. I know callings can help a person grow etc....trust me I know all about that. Those of you who know me will know that I do.

I guess what I am trying to say is I have concerns about sisters who are stay at home Moms and then get called into Primary. Sometimes I wonder if this is the best situation. What do you think?? I know we all have opinions. I am not looking for who is right or wrong. I am curious what you think or feel about this. I am also not looking for any attacks on the church or church leaders.

I have seen Mothers called into Primary as the president or councilors who are stay at home Moms and have a done an excellent job. I have also seen a few have a difficult time of it feeling like they don't get a break.

[pam]

I have mixed thoughts on this based on my own experiences.

The last ward I was in I moved into it at a time that I had just gotten divorced. I worked a job from home (Pale you probably remember this). So I really had no outside contact with people at that time. Three weeks from moving into the ward I was called to be a Primary teacher. Wow...I didn't even know anyone in the ward yet and I was at home all the time only seeing my kids. It was at a time I was really needing (so I thought) some adult interraction. One of the reasons I went searching for an online chat for LDS.

I expressed this to my Bishop when he extended the calling. He promised me it would only be until the end of the year and I would be released. He kept his promise.

I grew to really love those kids. We did so many activities together outside of the classroom. I recently attended the wedding reception of one of those kids. He told me that I was a huge influence on him when it came time to make a decision about going on a mission. He said he loved my lessons, they were always fun and he learned things. I seriously doubted that at the time. Kids are kids. :) And I'm not saying this to be boastful.

I guess my point is...while it may not seem like this is the best thing for us (I certainly didn't) we just never know why we are placed into a calling at a certain time. We just never know what life we will influence for the better. I learned that sacrificing what I thought was best for me to fulfill that calling and the results from it were so much more important.

[Jenamarie]

We had a similar problem in my old ward. In my 10 years in that ward half of them were spent in Primary, and when I attended my last Sunday in that ward prior to moving, they let me attend Relief Society. WOW, THAT'S where all the older women had been hiding! I was literally the only woman there who still had children at home. They'd all been called into Primary. And often when a young sister was released from one Primary calling it was only to be called into another Primary calling. (I went from Activity Day leader to Chorister to teacher)

It made me sad that 1. some of these young mothers were not getting much adult interaction at church, and 2. there was a clear divide between the young moms and the veteran moms in the ward. When were they to be together to share their experiences with each other and support each other? At our quarterly activities where we usually had a speaker to listen to? (so not much chat time?)

In my 10 years in that ward I heard 2 different bishops use 5th Sundays to encourage members to be willing to broaden the range of callings they'd be willing to accept. So many simply wouldn't accept Primary callings. It was left to the younger sisters.

[SpiritDragon]

I can't really say what it's like for the stay at home mom who also does the primary thing. I can see it going both ways, as in some women likely thrive on it while others dread it. I was a teacher in primary before my mission and I loved it, but when I was team teaching with my wife as newly weds I hated it. I think part of the difference is that before my mission I knew every one in the ward I had been there for years and it was fun and exciting to have my first "real" ward calling. As a newly wed, I was new to the ward, and only knew a handful of people and the kids were brats.

All callings have there challenges. I hope never to be a bishop... perhaps I should get some tattoos and grow out a full beard to ensure it doesn't happen. Alas I wouldn't want to be running from the Lord like Jonah did, that didn't turn out so well.

[mirkwood]

I have been in my current ward (wards due to boundary splits) for about 15 years now. I spent 5 years in nursery and 1 year in primary.

[mirkwood]

I hope never to be a bishop... perhaps I should get some tattoos and grow out a full beard to ensure it doesn't happen.

Whenever someone mentions my name and that calling together I promptly say, "tithing goes to 9%!!"

[Palerider]

I have been in my current ward (wards due to boundary splits) for about 15 years now. I spent 5 years in nursery and 1 year in primary.

My second oldest daughter teaches 2nd graders and her and her husband have a 3yr old son. She serves as Nursey Leader in her ward and loves every minute of it. I wish they would have more children so I can have more grand children. Lol

[notquiteperfect]

A few thoughts -

a) I think it depends on the RS. I'm a counselor in primary right now and am glad for it!

b) I've had more spiritual moments in nursery and primary than I have in RS.

c) Callings aren't about you! The church really needs the best people to help the 'rising generation'.

d) Anyone serving the kids needs to be proactive enough to make sure they're on the e-mail lists, get the announcements, go to the (hopefully monthly) RS mtgs, etc.

e) It's only temporary.

[Roseslipper]

I can't really say what it's like for the stay at home mom who also does the primary thing. I can see it going both ways, as in some women likely thrive on it while others dread it. I was a teacher in primary before my mission and I loved it, but when I was team teaching with my wife as newly weds I hated it. I think part of the difference is that before my mission I knew every one in the ward I had been there for years and it was fun and exciting to have my first "real" ward calling. As a newly wed, I was new to the ward, and only knew a handful of people and the kids were brats.

All callings have there challenges. I hope never to be a bishop... perhaps I should get some tattoos and grow out a full beard to ensure it doesn't happen. Alas I wouldn't want to be running from the Lord like Jonah did, that didn't turn out so well.

lol @ perhaps I should get some tattoos and grow out a full beard to ensure it doesn't happen.

[Roseslipper]

If that's where the Lord calls you then that's where u belong. But some calls are made out of desperation.

Maybe if there were more mingles, this would give all a chance interact with each other.

[ditd]

My DW and I recently discussed this and felt that a lot of time it's not specifically because they call people (particularly sisters) who have children at home but often when they do call people into primary or nursery, that they will refuse the call because they feel it is some sort of demotion or it is beneath them

[Just_A_Guy]

I've been married for eleven years and spent about seven of those years working in primary. Honestly, I don't think you can have a kid and expect other people to help teach him as he spends the next ten years moving through the primary, without expecting to spend a significant amount of time teaching other people's kids in the same system. And while it'd be nice to get to go to the "grownup" meetings more, I find that working in the primary immediately brings you into contact with (as opposed to merely sitting in the same meeting as) a pretty decent-sized group of people including the primary presidency, the parents of the kids you teach, and cub/11-year-old scout leaders, and other primary teachers. And, of course, the kids themselves.

I've also noticed the phenomenon where the primary callings get divvied amongst the young ward members while the older ward members wind up without a calling sitting in Gospel Doctrine week after week. It's unfortunate, but when you've got a critical mass of ward members who've decided that it's OK to refuse a calling--well, what can you do?

Edited February 2, 2014 by Just_A_Guy

[skippy740]

So kids = calling in Primary. Okay.

Let's get a little more grim here.

If you can play the piano = play piano in Primary your entire life.

Think I'm joking? My ex-wife has had that calling ever since she turned 18, and has had that calling in the various wards we had been in. She is STILL in that calling.

I don't think there's any more 'growth' for her at this stage.

[Jennarator]

The preparation for Sundays is a lot! I think a working mom, with kids might have even a harder time. When I come home from work it is make dinner, and bed time. I feel I don't have enough time to spend with my kids as it is. Cannot take on a huge calling like that or my kids would never get to be with me at home. This is just an opinion, but hey, I don't think I could do it.

[McLainDow]

My family had a situation that was different but, I guess the principle is the same. My wife was called to be a counselor in the primary three weeks after we were both baptized. Our daughter was still a couple years away from adulthood and has special needs and I worked crazy hours. At the time I personally felt that her being called was not a good idea because it would make it harder for her to get to know her fellow sisters in Relief Society. We went to the Lord with our concerns both felt she should accept her calling and she did her best. She still got to know several sisters in the ward very well and excelled in that calling.

[Quin]

While I know turning down Callings is a cultural no-no...

Personal Revelation isn't.

I've turned down callings based in PR.

I would suggest, that if it seems like the -ation involved is desperation & not inspiration, that the young parents pray about it. Lol. Actually, I'd suggest anyone pray about any Calling, but that's me.

Q

[Palerider]

My youngest daughter who has been married about 9 months now. Her husband is not a member of the church. She attends a big Ward. She too was called into Primary as a teacher..she was skeptical at first. She teaches the 3yr olds. Her first Sunday in class one of the kids came up to her and crawled in her lap and gave her a hug. Her heart melted and she has loved it ever since.

[classylady]

I've been a teacher in Primary for the last 2.5 years. I'm in my late 50's. Does that make me one of the older sisters in the ward? I love RS and miss the interaction with the sisters and hearing their thoughts and testimonies. My favorite calling is as a RS instructor. But, I love Primary too. The lessons are direct and simple. Not only do I feel the Spirit in RS, but, I feel the Spirit in Primary and especially singing the Primary songs. I've decided that where ever we are called, we can be a tool in the Lord's hand, and strengthen and bless those within our influence.

[Wingnut]

Not having read any posts other than the OP.......

There are a lot of factors that go into this situation. Generally speaking, I agree with you, Pale: enough is enough. However, there are two sisters in my ward -- they are SAHMs to three and four kids each -- that I can think of (without trying) who love serving in Primary and actually request it. Then there's me. By mid-October last year, I asked my bishopric counselor for a release from Nursery. I'd been in since the beginning of the year, and I just couldn't do it anymore.

I think both types are needed. People who love Primary are needed, because heaven knows not everyone does. But those of us who don't can still grow from it and bless others in the process as well. My strengths just aren't with kids. They're with teenagers and adults. And my strengths are needed, too.

In my ward, we don't have the luxury of not calling the SAHMs into Primary. At 33 years old, I'm older than more than half of the adults in my ward. My ward has nine callings dedicated just to the Nursery. And we only have six youth-aged girls in the ward.

Sometimes I wish the bishopric would call people based on their own self-assessed strengths and interests. I think a lot of programs would be stronger, and people happier, if that were the case.

[zippy_do46]

So kids = calling in Primary. Okay.

Let's get a little more grim here.

If you can play the piano = play piano in Primary your entire life.

Think I'm joking? My ex-wife has had that calling ever since she turned 18, and has had that calling in the various wards we had been in. She is STILL in that calling.

I don't think there's any more 'growth' for her at this stage.

Ahhhhh but the Blessings :) Try doing Primary with nothing but tapes. Makes the Primary Program very interesting. Every Sunday when I sit with my class I say a prayer for the guy who plays in our Primary.

One of my callings was as Primary Chorister. I told the Bishop I knew Heavenly Father had a sense of humor if He was calling me to this. I walked around the house making my children laughing idiots when they saw me trying to lead music. I guess Heavenly Father knew better. :) Guess who became Primary President who had to use tapes. :)

Edited February 3, 2014 by zippy_do46