On my mission I saw/did... (gasp!)

[NeedleinA]

Everyone has a funny story from their missions. Something they saw or did. How about you??

Point of reference: served in Chile. A couple that come to mind.

1. Companion and I raced across the street to help a guy who appeared to have crashed his bicycle. Turned out he was drunk, passed out on the grass, still on his bike in the riding position, feet on the pedals and all. We let him sleep it off.

2. My first baptism was at the ocean, I was baptizing an adult Sister. Half the branch was in attendance. This was the pinnacle of all my training (whopping 2 months at the MTC). Clear blue sky, clouds parted just for this sacred occasion. Angels in heaven rejoiced at the sight! The Sister, two witnesses and myself entered the ocean. I raise my hand to the square to start on the prayer and then BAMMMMMM! The biggest wave out of no where crushes us all. We go tumbling under the wave in all directions. We finally all stand up with sand in every pocket and every crevasse you can think of. "What just happened?" Even worse, to top it off with, the gown the Sister is wearing is now see through. The branch is all in shock, I'm laughing, we do the baptism. Yes, I have pictures from it all. Hah!

3. Convinced my greenie companion that we had a magical little pool of water, about 6" high, that helped you speak a different language. Took the zone to the pool for P-day. Had a Latin Sister "try" it first. She stepped in speaking Spanish and exited the pool speaking English. "It worked!" he exclaimed, while throwing off his shoes to race in. Part of it "working" was to splash water in your face and say "I want to speak Spanish". As he is doing this we are all laughing hysterically, especially the Latin bilingual sister from Arizona!

I've got tons, but how about you??
 

Edited April 11, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Guest]

My husband served in San Fran/Oakland (when they were the same mission), and a lot of that was right in the heart of Oakland. He saw a lot of interesting things. More than once a naked person answered the door. 

[NightSG]

1 hour ago, NeedleinA said:

I raise my hand to the square to start on the prayer and then BAMMMMMM! The biggest wave out of no where crushes us all. We go tumbling under the wave in all directions.

I suppose just saying "Clearly the Lord didn't care to wait and took care of this one Himself" wouldn't pass muster for Church standards.

[Guest Godless]

I accompanied the missionaries a few times while serving community service in high school. One time we knocked on the door of some Jehovah's Witnesses. That was a fun conversation. 

Also, while serving as a ward missionary (I think my bishop was hoping I'd take the hint), we had a sister missionary who fell in love with our ward mission leader, married him within a year of being released from her mission, and they now have 3 kids.

[NeedleinA]

32 minutes ago, Godless said:

(I think my bishop was hoping I'd take the hint)

There is still time for that hint to work for you GL
(perhaps a senior couple mission down the road. Then you could send a letter to your old bishop, he would be in for a surprise!)

[Guest Godless]

18 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

There is still time for that hint to work for you GL
(perhaps a senior couple mission down the road. Then you could send a letter to your old bishop, he would be in for a surprise!)

Lol, even if I were ever up for that, I highly doubt that my Catholic-turned-agnostic wife would be on board.

[prisonchaplain]

I will never forget being in a mountain restaurant for lunch, with my Korean friends--including the Korean director of the university mission I worked with. I asked him what the purple tofu in the soup was. He said not to worry, it was very healthy and good.  Of course, I later learned there was no such thing as purple tofu, but a certain fluid does turn purplish when it coagulates.  :::sigh:::

[NightSG]

13 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

There is still time for that hint to work for you GL

Not in San Antonio.  I used to think the Spirit just had enough sense to stay outside loop 410, but after the last time I tried to drive through there, I'm pretty sure It doesn't go inside 1604, if It even gets that close.  (That's probably a good thing, as I wouldn't want it hearing the comments I had on the traffic during the roughly three hour drive from Bulverde to the southern city limit sign.)

It's a shame, really, as I'd like to go back to the Alamo again soon, but frankly, most of San Antonio makes even Sodom-on-the-Colorado Austin look like a wholesome place by comparison...and I'm not paying $15 to park.

[classylady]

I think for most young missionaries a mission can be a time where our naiveté is put to rest. While on my mission in Germany, I will never forget a second visit we had to the home of a young single mother we were teaching. She was living with her alcoholic mother and her approximately 14-month-old baby. On the second visit the Grandma answered the door, and gleefully told us her daughter had ran off with the pimp, and left her baby behind. The floor was littered with empty beer cans/bottles. And, the baby was looking for her bottle in the filth on the floor. My heart broke for this child. What chance did she have in life? I remember going home that night and getting on my knees and begging Heavenly Father to bless this baby girl. I still cry when I think of it to this day. I can only hope and have faith that Heavenly Father heard my prayers for this child. (I don't remember for sure, but it seems like the Grandmother was waiting for Social Services to come get the baby). 

I'm sure most missionaries can share heart-breaking stories such as this. Our missions can be eye-openers. We learn to be thankful for the blessing of our own families. Not all of us come from ideal circumstances, but it is usually far better than many of the homes we visited. What the Gospel does is elevate those who accept the Gospel. It helps good people become better. It helps those in despair to have hope. What the world needs is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Edited April 11, 2016 by classylady

[classylady]

On a lighter note, I rode a bike on my mission. Can you imagine this young sister missionary crashing on her bike with her skirt almost up around her hips? Embarrassing!! Especially since the Elders were riding right behind me.

[omegaseamaster75]

As zone leader in Mexico (Mexico city East mission) on a P-day I rented motorcycles and quads for everyone (this was in the state of Hidalgo) and we went off roading around the local hills.

[Traveler]

It is hard to know what to post here.  I served in the North Western States mission (Washington, Oregon and Idaho) have many very spiritual and also many other experiences that were very funny.  Here are a few of the funny or sort of funny:

I got a speeding ticket on my bicycle.

I had a new companion fly into my area – small airport.  When I went to greet him an older lady ran out to him on the tarmac, grabbed him and gave him a kiss.  The story was the lady’s daughter was at college and got engaged.  There was not enough money to fly the couple for a family meeting so the lady sent a tie for him to wear so she would know him.  My new companion had an exact duplicate.  And no we did not get to teach them

I had been in the mission 2 months when I was sent a new elder to train.  Our first night we stumbled into an FBI stakeout and were arrested on suspicion of murder – we were mistaken for Mafia hit men.  The worst part is that they took our names and contacted our district leader – Since he knew us as Elder rather than by our names he did not recognize our names.  We were cleared through Salt Lake.  Yes the next time a general authority visited the mission - he looked us both up just to hear our side of the story.

The companion (above) that got the kiss was a professional baseball player.  For fun he told me to follow his lead and we went to a high school baseball game – pretending to be scouts for the major leagues.  You have never seen kids play so hard and coaches willing to talk.  We were also rewarded with free hotdogs.  It was interesting.

Best of all – While serving in Seattle at same time as the world’s fair in New York where the film “Man’s Search for Happiness” was first shown.  After the fair our mission got a copy of the film and my companion and I were the first to get the film in our mission.  The University of Washington was part of our area – so we ran an ad in the student paper for the LDS film “Man’s Search for Happiness”.  When we went to the institute to show the film there was a line over 3 blocks long to see the movie.  It was because the student paper misprinted “LSD” instead of LDS.  Though we thought we were going to set new baptism records – no one stayed to see the movie.

The Traveler

[Sadliers]

In the mission next door (the Georgia Atlanta Mussion) there were two missionaries that knocked on a door and was invited in by a woman with only a towel on. Soon the towel came off and her desires were made known. The one elder ran out but the other was stunned a little too long. She managed to get the door shut then chased him around the house. She finally tackled him and informed him that he was to seduce her. He said "ok, but can we have prayer first?" He got kicked out. It didn't end there, though. The mission president made him get up in Zone Conference and tell what happened. 

[mirkwood]

Some onery old man started to argue with my companion about the church.  He was clearly an anti. The conversation ended this way:

 

Old man: "So tell me just how many wives did Brigham Young have?"

Elder: "I don't know, but when I die and go to heaven I will ask him."

OM:  "Young man Brigham Young is going to Hell."

Elder: "Then when you die you ask him."

 

I laughed.  Loud.

 

[bytebear]

In New England, many houses have screened in porches, and one day, I mistook the front door for the screen porch door, and walked right into the living room, where the lady of the house freaked out and chased us out.  I still feel bad. 

Other than that, I was hit by a car on my bike and bruised my ankle pretty bad.  And we had our fair share of people answering the door in various degrees of undress.

[Sunday21]

7 hours ago, mirkwood said:

Some onery old man started to argue with my companion about the church.  He was clearly an anti. The conversation ended this way:

 

Old man: "So tell me just how many wives did Brigham Young have?"

Elder: "I don't know, but when I die and go to heaven I will ask him."

OM:  "Young man Brigham Young is going to Hell."

Elder: "Then when you die you ask him."

 

I laughed.  Loud.

 

Hysterical! ?

[Sunday21]

I have tracked with female missionaries. No problems but several flirtatious young men! I did canvas for cancer. At one door, a man answered wearing only underwear. He seemed perfectly comfortable not trying to frighten me. Maybe just forgot what he was wearing. Next house. From the street, I could see the entire living room through a huge picture window that extended from floor to ceiling. A man was standing, stark naked in the middle of the room. The man saw me and walked towards the front door. I went right on walking. One less dollar for cancer!

[Guest]

1) We were tracting.  Knock-knock.  "Come in".  Knock-knock.  "COME IN!!"  Open door.  Woman getting dressed.  Yes, "getting"...  she said,"uh, no."  Close door. Next door.

2) My companion and I did some volunteer work at a hospital.  I didn't think much of it.  But my bike's front wheel bolt was getting loose quite often.  I kept tightening it.  A couple months later, I decided for the first time to only lock my frame, not my frame and front wheel.  At the same time, my companion decided to lock up only his front wheel.

"Aren't you going to lock up your frame?"

"Why"

"It's quick-release.  Someone could easily take it."

"No one's going to take it."

We came out of the hospital only to find my frame (short the front wheel) and his front wheel (short the bike).  Somehow I felt that "I told ya so" just wasn't appropriate at that time.

3) Other missionaries in our district would often come over to our place to harass us during lunch.  The district was pretty scary, so we kept a baseball bat near the front door.  Knock at the door.  Thinking it was the other missionaries, I picked up the bat and mad a threatening face as I opened the door (as a joke).  It was the JWs.  They got scared.  I was trying to backtrack and apologize.  We immediately realized by dress, tags, satchel, etc. who each other were.  We said a quick "Oh.  Thanks.  Have a good day."

Edited April 12, 2016 by Guest

[omegaseamaster75]

I played 18 holes of golf at a private club in mexico city. That was fun.

[NeedleinA]

1. At night walking past a parked car, shattered window glass all over the sidewalk. I stopped by to ask the driver if he needed help. He was obviously worried and short with me, so he said, "no thanks". We started to walk away, when the "owner" then ran off with the car radio in hand. "Dang, dang, dang! It was the actual thief not the owner!

2. Many dogs that roamed the streets in Chile had some kind of skin disease that would make patches of their hair fall out. People would spray them with some kind of medicine... it was bright blue. So... you saw almost blue dogs roaming the street every so often.

3. People in the country would put slices of potatoes on the foreheads when they got head aches. So just picture trying to have a discussion with a person that has 3-4 potato slices stuck on their face.

Edited April 12, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Guest]

1) I was riding down the sidewalk on my bike.  A van pulled up to the edge of the driveway.  As he looked in my direction I thought we made eye contact, so I proceeded to go in front of his vehicle.  LUNGE - BUMP.  I was actually carried up and away and landed on my feet.  Yes, I believe in the ministering of angels.  He got out all flustered and apologetic.  I checked myself and my bike.  No harm done.  

I asked if he'd be interested in meeting with us to discuss the Book of Mormon.  He said no.

2) I had a companion (lost the bicycle) who began an inappropriate relationship with a sister in the ward (about 30 y.o.).  I warned him to refrain.  He promised he would.  One night we'd done our evening stuff and I went to bed as he was brushing his teeth.  It was an hour later that I realized he hadn't come in from the living room.  Then I realized that when he opened the door earlier, he wasn't just getting fresh air.  

I looked around the immediate vicinity of the apartment.  No sign of him.  

I called the DLs.  They came over and baby-sat me.  But they didn't really have any idea of what to do to find him.  I was frustrated and said a short prayer.  

I was shown in my mind the laundry room on the other side of the complex.  I got up and found them there.  He was moved to a new area in the district the next day.  Then at monthly transfers, he was sent to the far side of the mission.

3) Same companion.  We rode to a very bad bad bad bad bad part of town.  I just didn't know how bad.  It was bad.  So we were trying to find an address of a referral we had in our books.  We couldn't find it.  My comp got spooked by some men that I did not see (looking at the paperwork) and rode as fast as he could.  I spent just a minute looking at additional buildings in the area.  Then several men came up to me asking me what I was doing.  Did I mention it was a bad part of town?

As I pulled out the forms that had the address on it that I was looking for, one of them declared,"Oh! Y'all are from the health department!"  And they all got spooked and left.

Health Department???

Edited April 12, 2016 by Guest

[NeuroTypical]

I didn't go on a mission, but I have gone on splits with the bishopric to visit the Do Not Contact folks.  Lots of angry or defensive people, lots of explanations of how to get your name removed, nobody ever did.  After the third house, the 1st counselor gave a good-natured suggestion that we just hand them a tithing slip and a name removal letter, and just ask them to pick one. 

One mission story someone told me: He had a companion that saved all his fingernail and toenail clippings in a big jar because "that's ivory".

[Vort]

15 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

One mission story someone told me: He had a companion that saved all his fingernail and toenail clippings in a big jar because "that's ivory".

[NeedleinA]

31 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

One mission story someone told me: He had a companion that saved all his fingernail and toenail clippings in a big jar because "that's ivory".

 

57 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Health Department???

22 minutes ago, Vort said:

Going from utter disgust to laughing out loud at work... you all are killing me!

Perhaps Carb's Health Dept was passing out shots for toe nail fungus?

[NightSG]

17 hours ago, Traveler said:

I had been in the mission 2 months when I was sent a new elder to train.  Our first night we stumbled into an FBI stakeout and were arrested on suspicion of murder – we were mistaken for Mafia hit men.  The worst part is that they took our names and contacted our district leader – Since he knew us as Elder rather than by our names he did not recognize our names.  We were cleared through Salt Lake.  Yes the next time a general authority visited the mission - he looked us both up just to hear our side of the story.

I wonder if that's why for a while all the new missionaries around here were making sure most people in the ward knew their first names.

Or maybe it's just because we had at least three Wilsons in a row, a couple of McPhersons, and a the next stake over had two Wilson/Stewart pairs about a year apart in one ward.

IIRC, we briefly had a Wilson/Wilson pair, and they started wearing "Hi My Name Is" stickers with first initials in addition to their identical nametags.

Edited April 12, 2016 by NightSG