I'm a Bishop and I'm Being Released

[hzdbl5]

I’ve served as bishop for just over 5 years.  Several weeks prior to meeting with the stake president I’d received a witness that the call was coming.  Even so I spent sleepless nights when the call came wondering what I’d gotten myself into by accepting and how could I, with all my warts and weaknesses, be considered worthy and able.  I’ve reached a point that while not really comfortable with the calling I at least somewhat know what I’m doing.  There is a sizable number of people who on a regular basis offer thanks to me for what I do, but there are also those who are not happy with me or feel I’ve failed them.  With them feeling that way I suppose it’s safe to say that I have.

 

While serving, our ward council has seen some changes.  Including those who were serving when I was ordained and set apart we’ve had:  5 bishop’s counselors, 3 executive secretaries, 2 ward clerks, 2 RS presidents, 4 YW presidents, 5 Primary presidents, 3 YM presidents, 3 HPG leaders, 4 EQ presidents, 4 SS presidents and 4 ward mission leaders.  A number of those served for relatively short durations prior to moving out of the ward and a couple of the women were released when they were dealing with problem pregnancies.  Bottom line, lots of fluidity in the ward council and much more when looking within the organizations.  I suppose I could say I’ve had 7 counselors as the two women who served as RS president have been de facto counselors for me.

 

As you would expect, the hours of working to keep up with everything have at times been long.  The phone calls at all hours are trying.  My favorite question to ask when an issue is brought to me is, “who is the home/visiting teacher?”  I’m a big fan of delegation and have done so extensively.  Even with doing so, it’s been a hard row to hoe.

 

On the other hand I love the kids in the Primary and I am not a “kid” person.  I’m tickled when a child’s eyes light up because, “…THE BISHOP BUMPED FISTS WITH ME!!!”  My absolute favorite part of the call has been to interview the kids just prior to their baptism (with the office door cracked and their parents sitting right outside).  The best one was the boy who had a cheat sheet in his little suit pocket so he could give the right answers.  My amazement and gratefulness for how so many people step up to help others in so many ways grows daily.  But I’ve also been burned by individuals who know and milk the system.  That hurts.

 

I will note that I’ve not yet been officially released.  I traded e-mails with my stake president – with whom I am very good friends – to nail down the date the bishopric will be reorganized.  He will be meeting with my wife and me prior to extend the official release.

 

I’ve long thought that learning of my release would be a joyous day.  Not so.  I’m feeling a sense of loss.  Of what exactly I haven’t yet figured out.  When I was first sustained my wife gave me a card that said, “Congratulations and Condolences”.  The same card could apply now.

 

I’m left pondering, what comes next?

[zil]

Welcome to the forums, Bishop @hzdbl5!   Some time ago, someone else posted about being released and the sense of loss, and there were some good replies, so I thought I would post it for you, in case anything therein is of use to you:

[mordorbund]

54 minutes ago, hzdbl5 said:

I’m left pondering, what comes next?

Isn't it obvious?

54 minutes ago, hzdbl5 said:

I will note that I’ve not yet been officially released.  I traded e-mails with my stake president – with whom I am very good friends – to nail down the date the bishopric will be reorganized.  He will be meeting with my wife and me prior to extend the official release.

Why would he need to talk to your wife about reorganizing the bishopric, unless..............

[NeuroTypical]

Hi there!  I've been in some executive secretary or clerk role to watch 3 different Bishops leave, and they've all said the same thing.  Delegation is important, their favorite parts were with the children, and they're worried about what next.

Oh yeah - and I've watched them all struggle to be Christlike and loving with certain kinds of people.  

Let's see - what now?  Bishop #1 moved out of the ward, I never see him any more.  Bishop #2 is now on the high council, and Bishop #3 is just tickled pink to be sitting back in the congregation and have his life back.  You'll find your path!

Thanks for accepting the calling, and all I'm sure you've done.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, mordorbund said:

Isn't it obvious?

Why would he need to talk to your wife about reorganizing the bishopric, unless..............

When you're released from the office of Bishop, you generally meet as a couple.  The idea being that the calling of Bishop is not just about the man, but about the man and the wife who will support and sustain him.  So, in a sense, when you're released as bishop, your wife is as well.

But, yes, often times a release from being bishop means being called to something else by the Stake Pres.  But I don't really think it's that obvious.

[mordorbund]

41 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

When you're released from the office of Bishop, you generally meet as a couple.  The idea being that the calling of Bishop is not just about the man, but about the man and the wife who will support and sustain him.  So, in a sense, when you're released as bishop, your wife is as well.

But, yes, often times a release from being bishop means being called to something else by the Stake Pres.  But I don't really think it's that obvious.

D'oh! I was trying to suggest that there was now a vacant bishop position, and the stake president was trying to kill two birds with one stone by extending a call to the new bishop while releasing the old and....

You know what? Nevermind. 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

D'oh! I was trying to suggest that there was now a vacant bishop position, and the stake president was trying to kill two birds with one stone by extending a call to the new bishop while releasing the old and....

You know what? Nevermind. 

Ok.  Now I realize I have no idea... you know what? Nevermind.

[zil]

Of course, she'd have the sense to tell the SP only a man would be crazy enough to accept such a calling.

[Sunday21]

@hzdbl5 Proud of you! You are a good person!

[anatess2]

My father in law just got released as bishop after 5 years.  He got called to be Scoutmaster but he had to decline due to health reasons.  He's currently just happy and content to sit in the pews, go to Sunday School and High Council and do his Home Teaching.  But yes, he went through the "what now?" phase.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

10 hours ago, Carborendum said:

When you're released from the office of Bishop, you generally meet as a couple.  The idea being that the calling of Bishop is not just about the man, but about the man and the wife who will support and sustain him.  So, in a sense, when you're released as bishop, your wife is as well.

But, yes, often times a release from being bishop means being called to something else by the Stake Pres.  But I don't really think it's that obvious.

I thought this was helpful, because I didn't know why both husband and wife would be there for the release.  

[Bad Karma]

Wow, hats off to all you Bishops. I truly hope I am never called to be a Bishop. The calling scares the bajeebers out of me and I am not afraid of much. I spoke with my Missus about it a few times, those hypothetical conversations, she's right there with me, she hopes I am never called to be Bishop either. That has got to be such a hard calling. The notion gives me great anxiety!!!

 

For those of you that took the calling and did it. Thank you. Please pray I am never called. I'm just not "Bishopy" enough to be one.

[Unity]

Thank you for your service bishop - as a woman who is the breadwinner for her family (hubby has health issues) and who has served as Primary President for 5 years, I've often felt swamped with zero time to do anything but take care of everyone and everything else but myself. My heart has always been lifted by watching our bishop, who manages to hold down a full-time job, maintain family life AND the huge demands, responsibility and sacrifice of such a demanding calling. The sacrifice of the bishop's wife is also hugely appreciated as she has to hold down the home fort while her husband is away with work and church responsibilities. Seeing what our bishop and his family cope with helps me to realise that while my calling may have seemed all-consuming sometimes of any spare time I have, it's nothing in comparison! 

I was also just released and for the first time in years, last week I sat in Gospel Doctrine and I have to say it was kind of exhilarating to just sit and not have to do anything but read and answer questions. Maybe you will feel that way once you are actually out in the congregation again - in fact, I felt a bit 'lazy' for not doing anything.

As people have mentioned in response to your post, there is plenty of life after being released! Our ward has had 4 bishops in the past 10 years - two moved out of the ward and now serve in other callings, one is in the stake high council. Every one of them have said they were glad to be able to sit in church again with their families. 

May you be blessed for your service, and don't worry about what comes next - just try and enjoy any quiet time you may have in-between callings

 

 

[CV75]

17 hours ago, hzdbl5 said:

I’m left pondering, what comes next?

Having "been there/ done that," I found that the Holy Spirit continued to influence and inspire me in other ways that were most beneficial in all my dealings with others, including God through prayer and scriptures. Life goes on, rich and edifying since that is the track we are on.

[zil]

5 hours ago, Bad Karma said:

Wow, hats off to all you Bishops. I truly hope I am never called to be a Bishop. The calling scares the bajeebers out of me and I am not afraid of much. I spoke with my Missus about it a few times, those hypothetical conversations, she's right there with me, she hopes I am never called to be Bishop either. That has got to be such a hard calling. The notion gives me great anxiety!!!

For those of you that took the calling and did it. Thank you. Please pray I am never called. I'm just not "Bishopy" enough to be one.

I take it you don't realize yet that saying things like that out loud lead to being called to the very calling you're hoping you don't get called to?  Most of us have learned not to even think about such callings...

Edited January 20, 2017 by zil

[NightSG]

5 hours ago, Bad Karma said:

Please pray I am never called. I'm just not "Bishopy" enough to be one.

Just wear yoga pants and compression shirts on Sundays.

[Guest MormonGator]

19 minutes ago, NightSG said:

Just wear yoga pants and compression shirts on Sundays.

 

LOL! That's awesome. 

[zil]

8 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

 

LOL! That's awesome. 

Not sure it would be awesome, but it would probably do the trick.  More-so if you also wore a tie and dress shoes (maybe with neon green socks?) with that outfit...

[Guest MormonGator]

2 minutes ago, zil said:

Not sure it would be awesome, but it would probably do the trick.  More-so if you also wore a tie and dress shoes (maybe with neon green socks?) with that outfit...

Tie? Dress shoes? You mean my polo shirt and khakis dear...

[zil]

1 minute ago, MormonGator said:

Tie? Dress shoes? You mean my polo shirt and khakis dear...

I wasn't suggesting you wear these things - I was recommending them for those who wish to avoid being called as bishop via @NightSG's fashion advice.  I'm pretty sure you have other ways of avoiding this calling - like telling the SP you can't get away from the compound for a few weeks because #5 and #9 are having a little tiff...

[Guest MormonGator]

4 minutes ago, zil said:

I wasn't suggesting you wear these things - I was recommending them for those who wish to avoid being called as bishop via @NightSG's fashion advice.  I'm pretty sure you have other ways of avoiding this calling - like telling the SP you can't get away from the compound for a few weeks because #5 and #9 are having a little tiff...

:: snickers::

Attention forum: If you ever hear that I've been called to become the bishop, someone is either lying to you or we have truly reached end times. 

[Traveler]

19 hours ago, hzdbl5 said:

I’ve served as bishop for just over 5 years.  Several weeks prior to meeting with the stake president I’d received a witness that the call was coming.  Even so I spent sleepless nights when the call came wondering what I’d gotten myself into by accepting and how could I, with all my warts and weaknesses, be considered worthy and able.  I’ve reached a point that while not really comfortable with the calling I at least somewhat know what I’m doing.  There is a sizable number of people who on a regular basis offer thanks to me for what I do, but there are also those who are not happy with me or feel I’ve failed them.  With them feeling that way I suppose it’s safe to say that I have.

 

 

 

 

 

While serving, our ward council has seen some changes.  Including those who were serving when I was ordained and set apart we’ve had:  5 bishop’s counselors, 3 executive secretaries, 2 ward clerks, 2 RS presidents, 4 YW presidents, 5 Primary presidents, 3 YM presidents, 3 HPG leaders, 4 EQ presidents, 4 SS presidents and 4 ward mission leaders.  A number of those served for relatively short durations prior to moving out of the ward and a couple of the women were released when they were dealing with problem pregnancies.  Bottom line, lots of fluidity in the ward council and much more when looking within the organizations.  I suppose I could say I’ve had 7 counselors as the two women who served as RS president have been de facto counselors for me.

 

 

 

As you would expect, the hours of working to keep up with everything have at times been long.  The phone calls at all hours are trying.  My favorite question to ask when an issue is brought to me is, “who is the home/visiting teacher?”  I’m a big fan of delegation and have done so extensively.  Even with doing so, it’s been a hard row to hoe.

 

 

 

On the other hand I love the kids in the Primary and I am not a “kid” person.  I’m tickled when a child’s eyes light up because, “…THE BISHOP BUMPED FISTS WITH ME!!!”  My absolute favorite part of the call has been to interview the kids just prior to their baptism (with the office door cracked and their parents sitting right outside).  The best one was the boy who had a cheat sheet in his little suit pocket so he could give the right answers.  My amazement and gratefulness for how so many people step up to help others in so many ways grows daily.  But I’ve also been burned by individuals who know and milk the system.  That hurts.

 

 

 

I will note that I’ve not yet been officially released.  I traded e-mails with my stake president – with whom I am very good friends – to nail down the date the bishopric will be reorganized.  He will be meeting with my wife and me prior to extend the official release.

 

 

 

I’ve long thought that learning of my release would be a joyous day.  Not so.  I’m feeling a sense of loss.  Of what exactly I haven’t yet figured out.  When I was first sustained my wife gave me a card that said, “Congratulations and Condolences”.  The same card could apply now.

 

 

I’m left pondering, what comes next?

 

 

You should be thanked for serving as should anyone that is released from any calling – This is why, when a person is released it is done with a vote of thanks.  There is no bishop that I have ever heard of or know of that has done a poor enough job of it that I would want to replace them.  I am quite sure I would not even desire to be called to officially “council” them. 

However, the burdens of the ward should never fall on the shoulders of the bishop or the bishopric.  Rather the burdens (including the burden of revelation) of the ward should be borne on the shoulders of the Ward Council.  Thus there is no such thing as the failures of a bishop or bishopric – it is the failures (or success) of the Ward Council.   Most of the Ward Council will remain intact upon you release – at least for a while.

As to what comes next?  If you are really lucky; it will be a calling to the nursey.  This is not meant in any way in jest or sarcasm but given with full respect for such a sacred calling and those that serve.

 

The Traveler

[Vort]

1 hour ago, zil said:

More-so if you also wore a tie and dress shoes

Fixed that for you.

[NightSG]

3 hours ago, MormonGator said:

LOL! That's awesome. 

The real question is, if the compression shirt is white, will they still let you pass the Sacrament?

[Sunday21]

11 hours ago, zil said:

I take it you don't realize yet that saying things like that out loud lead to being called to the very calling you're hoping you don't get called to?  Most of us have learned not to even think about such callings...

Sooo true! Me and stake singles rep! Thankfully, I think this calling is now kaput. What a horrid calling. I met a sister at the temple who had also had that calling. We both had a major groan session.

Edited January 21, 2017 by Sunday21