Being Offended Is A Choice We Make

[susieSA]

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

[Canuck Mormon]

I agree.

The other person only said something. Yes it might have been rude, inconsiderate, a lie, off color. But it is our choice to TAKE offence. We can go and try to offend someone, but it only works if they TAKE the offence. Otherwise we cannot offend them.

Great topic!!!

[a-train]

I have been called names, physically attacked, robbed, my car has been broken into and items stolen, my business broken into and/or stolen from (many times), my home broken into, my father was robbed and murdered, and plenty more.

I just realize that God gave me my name, my person, my car and its effects, my business and the items in it, my home and its contents, my family and all I have. He can give me more and I need not worry that others attack and steal or damage what I have already received. I'll let them have it and just get more from the LORD.

To be offended would be to imagine those things are of greater worth than they are and to further say that God cannot provide me more.

'Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:' (Matt. 6:19-20)

What is of more worth, and what is at stake, is our salvation and that of our brothers and sisters we should choose not to take offense from.

-a-train

[the_jason]

Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. In 2nd Nephi it says men are free "to act for themselves and not to be acted upon," meaning we are responsible for how we act, feel, and think, and nobody else is to blame. This applies to being offended as well. We choose offense. It is not forced upon us.

[Moksha]

Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. In 2nd Nephi it says men are free "to act for themselves and not to be acted upon," meaning we are responsible for how we act, feel, and think, and nobody else is to blame. This applies to being offended as well. We choose offense. It is not forced upon us.

Was that the same speech where he said, "Pickles are now as cucumbers may become" or something like that? Good speech.

So many things happen to us in life. It takes too much energy to be offended by all of them. The thing is, it also takes energy to be offended by any of them. If one can develop a humorous approach to life, it seems so much easier.

[Palerider]

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Snow]

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

Excellent pont susieSA.

Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. It's a gift.

[susieSA]

<div class='quotemain'>

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

Excellent pont susieSA.

Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. It's a gift.

Well I did post it with you in mind

[Traveler]

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

I believe it was Thomas Jefferson or maybe Benjerman Franklin that once said: "It requires a very foolish person to be offended by someone that did not mean the offense - but it requires a much more foolish person to be offended by someone that did mean the offense."

I would add that being offended is not only a choice but being offended offers without resistance contorl of how you behave to someone that really does not care at all about you or those that love you.

The Traveler

[pam]

<div class='quotemain'>

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

Excellent pont susieSA.

Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. It's a gift.

I'm offended by that Snow.

[the_jason]

<div class='quotemain'>

Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. In 2nd Nephi it says men are free "to act for themselves and not to be acted upon," meaning we are responsible for how we act, feel, and think, and nobody else is to blame. This applies to being offended as well. We choose offense. It is not forced upon us.

Was that the same speech where he said, "Pickles are now as cucumbers may become" or something like that? Good speech.

So many things happen to us in life. It takes too much energy to be offended by all of them. The thing is, it also takes energy to be offended by any of them. If one can develop a humorous approach to life, it seems so much easier.

No. The one being referred to is from the year before.

[prisonchaplain]

I'm not sure I disagree with all that's been said, but would offer an ingredient that might round this discussion out. "Be angry--and sin not!"

I fear that in U.S. culture we're losing our ability to be outraged by anything. Remember the "I have an abortion" t-shirt campaign? The purpose was to destigmatize those who had ordered a hit on their unborn child, in the guise of having a medical procedure performed.

OK, OK. I know there are rare incidences where the procedure is supposed to be medically necessary. I know further that sometimes very young mothers are strongly pressured into the decision. My heart goes out to them in such cases.

BUT...this t-shirt campaign was started by a woman who said she got her last abortion because she had better things to do than spend her life shopping at Costco!

Righteous anger would not be inappropriate here. The kind of anger that reinforces my desire to elect prolife candidates and to see laws enacted to protect unborn children.

SO...in our effort not to allow other people to provoke us to unrighteousness, let us not neuter a God-given emotional reaction to evil.

[Gabelma]

<div class='quotemain'>

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

Excellent pont susieSA.

Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. It's a gift.

LOL Snow I knew every life had a purpose:)

Brigham Young said something along the lines of anyone who takes offence when none is intended is a fool and anyone who takes offence when offence is intended is usually a fool - i try to keep that in mind.

Perhaps someone knows the exact quote

-Charley

[the_jason]

PC, I'm not sure anyone has said we shouldn't be outraged by anything. This post is about such outrages being a choice we make. I get upset about a lot of things, but only because I choose to be upset. No other force can cause a person to be offended. Only the person themself.

[tiancum]

While we, at times are hurt either physically or mentally, the choice, whether we want to be offended or not. In other words, if we want to hold another in our debt.

It is easy for Christ to heal wounds...or pain. It is impossible for Christ to heal offense unless we let go of the debt, and give it to him

[MsMagnolia]

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

I love this quote! What a great reminder of the marvelous gift our Father in Heaven gave us - agency.

[Snow]

<div class='quotemain'>

<div class='quotemain'>

Daily Gems

Being Offended Is a Choice We Make

---------------------------------------------------

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else."

Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense

(David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90)

Excellent pont susieSA.

Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. It's a gift.

Well I did post it with you in mind

What?

That's shocking. Shocking I tell you.

[a-train]

Hmmmm. Righteous anger..

I'd say that trying to find place for righteous anger is only going to come when we remember who we are and what our relation is to the individual(s) who are 'offensive'. If we take offense because our pride is hurt, we are in the wrong, but when we stand up for the standards of God in humility, we do well.

We are children of the LORD and our knowledge of him through obedience is not because we are valued more by Him or because our righteousness has earned us a privileged position.

'Speak not thou in thine heart, after that the LORD thy God hath cast them out from before thee, saying, For my righteousness the LORD hath brought me in to possess this land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD doth drive them out from before thee. Not for thy righteousness, or for the uprightness of thine heart, dost thou go to possess their land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee, and that he may perform the word which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.' (Deut. 9:4-5)

When we recognize that those in offense are doing it out of ignorance and have the attitude of the Saviour toward his crucifiers, we are keeping our humility and honor. The LORD showed his wrath to the merchants at the Temple who made of it a mockery and a business. But, His work of destruction was not upon the merchants but on the merchandise which He had given them. Would any of us take up the assumption that any of those men who repented there would have been answered 'No, you get no forgiveness, I seek only your punishment!'?

Don't go thinking 'I'll save my anger for those who don't repent.' The LORD said: 'I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.' (D&C 64:10)

We may possess a righteous indignation for the work of Satan and the influence of evil among men, but when we forget the wicked among the children of Adam are our loved ones and neighbors, we puff up our pride.

-a-train

[prisonchaplain]

"Be ye angry and sin not..." is from Ephesians 4:26

Here's the JST link: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/jst/110

Without anger, there is the danger of another great quote becoming a sad reality, "All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing."

Yes...righteous anger can so easily go wrong. But, on those rare occasions God calls for it, we may miss the opportunity to be his tool in transforming society.

[Annabelli]

While we, at times are hurt either physically or mentally, the choice, whether we want to be offended or not. In other words, if we want to hold another in our debt.

It is easy for Christ to heal wounds...or pain. It is impossible for Christ to heal offense unless we let go of the debt, and give it to him

I don't understand how debt is being used here. (Someone offended me and now they are in my debt?; If I do not choose to be offended, they are not in my debt?)

[tiancum]

I don't understand how debt is being used here. (Someone offended me and now they are in my debt?; If I do not choose to be offended, they are not in my debt?)

In our messed up minds, essentially yes.

When a person is offended, most believe that the offender is in their debt. They believe that in order for them to be "square" there needs to be restitution of some kind. Even the words we use when we are offended are loaded with debt. "He owes me an apology".

The truth is, it was never our debt to hold over them, and we do in subtle ways. (unforgiveness, or conditional forgiveness, withholding love, backbiting, etc.)

We are all indebted to Christ. How he deals with offenders is His business.

Those who hurt others will indeed have to answer for it. It is a heavy price. But their debt is not owed to us, as many think.

[shanstress70]

Being offensive is also a choice we make.

[a-train]

'Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.' (D&C 64:9)

[shanstress70]

'Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.' (D&C 64:9)

I agree that we should forgive each other. I'm just saying that it is wrong to be offensive in the first place, especially if you know you are being offensive.

[a-train]

I know Shan. And we live in a time where there are a lot of folks trying to be offensive. Everybody's pride is on their sleeve.

-a-train