Episode IX Trailer

[unixknight]

I have no plans to see it in the theater.  If my daughter asks to be taken to it, my wife, @Dollfacekilla has offered.

Maybe it'll be good.  Maybe.  Problem is Episode 7 only looks good when compared to 8.  It still wan't a great movie, and now here's the same director who made that one back to do it again, only with his vision all screwed up and broken by Rian "Subverting Expectations" Johnson.

I'd rather watch Episode 1 in an all-day loop than to pay to go see one more Disney Star Wars movie. 

**SPOILERS**

As for the trailer... yeah, it's Jedi porn followed by some images and audio that seem to be aimed at going back to the Original Trilogy well yet again.  "Come see it, you older guys!  Look, Billy Dee Williams is back!  Look, we're robbing the Emperor's Grave to convince you that there'll be something worth seeing in this film!  DIDJA NOTICE THE WRECKAGE OF THE DEATH STAR IN THE BACKGROUND???  DON'T YA WANNA KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE?!?!?!?!?!?"

No, Disney.  I really don't care to know.  Thus far you have not failed to take a steaming dump on just about every single element of the Original Trilogy that you've used to bait me into your garbage Star Wars films.  You killed Han Solo in the most anticlimactic and predictable sci-fantasy death since Kirk got a bridge dropped on him.  You turned Leia into Mary Poppins,  you spaced Ackbar, you turned Lando Calrissian into a robosexual, and you turned the greatest sci-fantasy character of all time into a bitter, crusty old hermit and then killed him in an apparent crowning moment of awesome that turned out to be entirely illusory.  So no, Disney, I'm not the least little bit interested in what you plan to do with the old Death Star, Luke's Voice, Lando or Palpatine.  

If that really is a hunk of the Death Star, why don't you just take it and cram it where the sun don't shine.

[Guest Godless]

Okay, but how do you really feel?

I'll see it in theaters. My expectations are low, but for better or worse, I'm invested in the story. Might as well see how it ends.

[unixknight]

9 minutes ago, Godless said:

Okay, but how do you really feel?

I'll see it in theaters. My expectations are low, but for better or worse, I'm invested in the story. Might as well see how it ends.

One of the things that kinda ruins it for me is knowing that the story we've seen wasn't planned out in a unified narrative.  One of the things that made Babylon 5 such a great show was that the entire story was mapped out ahead of time, so it really felt like it was working intelligently toward something.  Battlestar Galactica was ruined for me when I learned that it wasn't.  All they knew was how it would end, but none of the details along the way.

So I don't have the same desire to see how it ends, because I know it to be completely arbitrary.  I mean, I assume I'll watch it eventually.  I just won't go see it in the theater, nor will I pay for the Disney streaming service they're coming out with.

[NeuroTypical]

[briefly looks up at this thread, goes back to re-reading Dune for the 5th time, in anticipation of the upcoming movie.]

[unixknight]

3 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

[briefly looks up at this thread, goes back to re-reading Dune for the 5th time, in anticipation of the upcoming movie.]

Now THAT is something I'd go see in the theater.

[Fether]

I bet it will be a pretty alright movie.

[unixknight]

Full disclosure:  I'm not very thrilled about Abrams' Star Trek efforts either.

[anatess2]

But I watched the trailer because it was popping up left and right on my youtube.  So you see Rey.  With a lightsaber.  Jumping over a TIE fighter.  And I laughed my Leia buns off... I guess JJ Abrams is embracing the Mary Sue-ness of his Mary Sue.  You hear Luke saying:  We've passed to you all we know.... HA HAH HAH AH HAHA... my sides!!!

I'm done with Star Wars.  I mean, sure, I would like to know if JJ is gonna give us a Reylo.  But I don't have to watch the movie to know that.

[Just_A_Guy]

3 hours ago, unixknight said:

I have no plans to see it in the theater.  If my daughter asks to be taken to it, my wife, @Dollfacekilla has offered.

Maybe it'll be good.  Maybe.  Problem is Episode 7 only looks good when compared to 8.  It still wan't a great movie, and now here's the same director who made that one back to do it again, only with his vision all screwed up and broken by Rian "Subverting Expectations" Johnson.

I'd rather watch Episode 1 in an all-day loop than to pay to go see one more Disney Star Wars movie. 

**SPOILERS**

As for the trailer... yeah, it's Jedi porn followed by some images and audio that seem to be aimed at going back to the Original Trilogy well yet again.  "Come see it, you older guys!  Look, Billy Dee Williams is back!  Look, we're robbing the Emperor's Grave to convince you that there'll be something worth seeing in this film!  DIDJA NOTICE THE WRECKAGE OF THE DEATH STAR IN THE BACKGROUND???  DON'T YA WANNA KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE?!?!?!?!?!?"

No, Disney.  I really don't care to know.  Thus far you have not failed to take a steaming dump on just about every single element of the Original Trilogy that you've used to bait me into your garbage Star Wars films.  You killed Han Solo in the most anticlimactic and predictable sci-fantasy death since Kirk got a bridge dropped on him.  You turned Leia into Mary Poppins,  you spaced Ackbar, you turned Lando Calrissian into a robosexual, and you turned the greatest sci-fantasy character of all time into a bitter, crusty old hermit and then killed him in an apparent crowning moment of awesome that turned out to be entirely illusory.  So no, Disney, I'm not the least little bit interested in what you plan to do with the old Death Star, Luke's Voice, Lando or Palpatine.  

If that really is a hunk of the Death Star, why don't you just take it and cram it where the sun don't shine.

That’s Pulitzer-level right there, that is.

[Vort]

I hear "Rey" is short for her real name, Meh Reisu. (Accent on the last syllable, naturally.)

[NeedleinA]

I'm there no matter what, opening day with the whole family... probably with lightsabers in hand. !Viva Star Wars!

[Guest Mores]

19 hours ago, Godless said:

Okay, but how do you really feel?

I'll see it in theaters. My expectations are low, but for better or worse, I'm invested in the story. Might as well see how it ends.

18 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

I'm there no matter what, opening day with the whole family... probably with lightsabers in hand. !Viva Star Wars!

This attitude is exactly why filmmakers can make absolute garbage and still get rich.

Edited April 16, 2019 by Mores

[Guest Mores]

19 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

[briefly looks up at this thread, goes back to re-reading Dune for the 5th time, in anticipation of the upcoming movie.]

Hmm.  I've been a long time fan.  I hadn't heard of this.  Thanks.  I'm looking forward to it.

[unixknight]

22 minutes ago, Mores said:

This attitude is exactly why filmmakers can make absolute garbage and still get rich.

Testify.

And it ain't just filmmakers.  Remember back in the '80s when domestic automobiles were just the worst?  It's because of bumper stickers that said things like "I'd rather push my Chevy than drive a Ford."  That's a bumper sticker that literally says the person's brand loyalty is so great that they would prefer to own a non-functioning vehicle with the right brand name than to have a vehicle that works but with a different emblem.  Well, that's why you'll be pushing it, Jim-Bob.  You just sent a message to the manufacturer that they can go ahead and cut all the corners they want because a legion of suckers will still line up to buy it.  Those same people would then sneer at an import because "I ain't drivin' no ricer burner."  Well that's why for a while there Japanese cars were a lot better than American cars, chief.  The Japanese car companies were in it to compete, and made better cars.  So the customers themselves played a hand in the declining quality of American cars for a long time.  Eventually things balanced out but that was only because enough people were willing to switch that the manufacturers had no choice.

The problem with movies is that yeah, you can watch a movie released by a competing studio, but if you really want Star Wars, there's only one studio making them so you have no choice but to either accept whatever garbage they put out, or avoid it entirely.

[NeedleinA]

2 hours ago, Mores said:

This attitude is exactly why filmmakers can make absolute garbage and still get rich.

My real attitude is more in line with the following...

[NeuroTypical]

Well, if we're making memes in this thread, this is how y'all look to me.

Edited April 16, 2019 by NeuroTypical

[Vort]

4 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Well, if we're making memes in this thread, this is how y'all look to me.

We look like a small broken icon?

[NeuroTypical]

[edited] better?

[Guest Mores]

2 hours ago, NeedleinA said:

My real attitude is more in line with the following...

Now, how am I supposed to drink that (root) beer?  You separated my drinking hand from my mouth.  Aaarrrggghhh!!!  Soon you will learn to call me "Master!" (maniacal laugh).

[bytebear]

I almost cried when I saw Lando.  Sorry, but I am one of those old farts who saw the original trilogy in theaters at the perfect age (7, 9, 11) and have a nostalgic heart.  Also, nothing can be worse than Episode I.  Nothing.   And I actually enjoyed Episode VIII maybe even more than VII.  And they both are way better than Episode I.   I have no connection to the new characters.  I finally can remember their names (mostly).  Leia flying across space is still better than anything in Episode I.   I also enjoyed Solo quite a lot, and am disappointing that it didn't get more attention and praise.  The capes alone made it a worthy addition to the Star Wars canon.   Now I have no idea what will happen in the next movie.  I imagine it will have a lot of random, illogical, nostalgic touches.  Ewoks on Tatooine fighting Wompas.  Sure. why not?   But I suspect that we will find out that Ray and Kilo Ren are actually twins (or cousins) and were separated to protect them, and she trains with ghost Luke while reading up on those text books that Yoda said were useless.  I just hope the plot is passable, and at least slightly different than the standard Star Wars plot - Big death star threatens the galaxy.  One team to turn off the force field, another group awaits the attack and when it goes down does a miraculous shot to blow it up, while a lone hero confronts the villain.   

Whatever happens, I will enjoy the ride.  Did I mention that Episode I sucks?

Edited April 17, 2019 by bytebear

[JohnsonJones]

7 hours ago, bytebear said:

I almost cried when I saw Lando.  Sorry, but I am one of those old farts who saw the original trilogy in theaters at the perfect age (7, 9, 11) and have a nostalgic heart.  Also, nothing can be worse than Episode I.  Nothing.   And I actually enjoyed Episode VIII maybe even more than VII.  And they both are way better than Episode I.   I have no connection to the new characters.  I finally can remember their names (mostly).  Leia flying across space is still better than anything in Episode I.   I also enjoyed Solo quite a lot, and am disappointing that it didn't get more attention and praise.  The capes alone made it a worthy addition to the Star Wars canon.   Now I have no idea what will happen in the next movie.  I imagine it will have a lot of random, illogical, nostalgic touches.  Ewoks on Tatooine fighting Wompas.  Sure. why not?   But I suspect that we will find out that Ray and Kilo Ren are actually twins (or cousins) and were separated to protect them, and she trains with ghost Luke while reading up on those text books that Yoda said were useless.  I just hope the plot is passable, and at least slightly different than the standard Star Wars plot - Big death star threatens the galaxy.  One team to turn off the force field, another group awaits the attack and when it goes down does a miraculous shot to blow it up, while a lone hero confronts the villain.   

Whatever happens, I will enjoy the ride.  Did I mention that Episode I sucks?

You did...

But I am still puzzled why you think the first episode of I love Lucy is so terrible???

[unixknight]

13 hours ago, bytebear said:

Whatever happens, I will enjoy the ride.  Did I mention that Episode I sucks?

I didn't really like Episode I overall either, but I do like it better than 2 and 8.  Maybe 7.  The lightsaber duel at the end was fun, if shallow... And the remake of the Chariot Race from Ben Hur Pod Race was fun too.

[anatess2]

3 hours ago, unixknight said:

I didn't really like Episode I overall either, but I do like it better than 2 and 8.  Maybe 7.  The lightsaber duel at the end was fun, if shallow... And the remake of the Chariot Race from Ben Hur Pod Race was fun too.

There's nothing in Star Wars worse than 8.

Episode 3 is my favorite of all.  And yes, that includes the cheesy dialogue ("You're breaking my heart. You're going down a road I cannot follow."  Puke.).

[unixknight]

3 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

There's nothing in Star Wars worse than 8.

Episode 3 is my favorite of all.  And yes, that includes the cheesy dialogue ("You're breaking my heart. You're going down a road I cannot follow."  Puke.).

I'm surprised you didn't quote the balcony scene.  Now THAT was a vomit inducing cringefest.

I actually did like 3, but that's in spite of its many, many flaws. 

My favorite is Episode 6 (though I acknowledge that episode 5 is quantitatively better.)  For my money, nothing beats the throne room scene.

[MarginOfError]

Just now I saw the thread title and read it as "Title IX Trailer."  And thought to myself, "sounds like one of those awful legal thrillers."