Worst financial decision?

[mikbone]

My ortho residency director posed this question every 4 or 5 years to his rotating residents.

When my group heard it, our responses were:  malpractice, not overseeing financial control of your practice, substance abuse, gambling, etc.

After a few minutes he had to tell us the answer - Divorce.

He strongly recommended against it.  And even suggested that if the itch arrises NEVER get involved with a nurse or an office staff member.  But instead just go to a Continual Medical Education meeting in Vegas to see a professional as the care will be better and the expense is way less then the alternative…

About 80% of the men in that room have been divorced at least once.

And the only ones that I know who stayed married were honest men who had strong Christian beliefs.

I know a neurosurgeon that has been divorced 4x from nurses or scrub techs.  He works outrageous hours to support all the women and his next ex-wife.

[Jamie123]

I've told my wife that the only reason I would ever divorce her would be to get remarried, and since that's not on the cards I see no reason to give free money to lawyers. If she wants a divorce then that's up to her, but it'll be her project not mine. Maybe one day I'll reconcile with her, but until then I'll be a MGTOW

[LDSGator]

20 hours ago, mikbone said:

My ortho residency director posed this question every 4 or 5 years to his rotating residents.

When my group heard it, our responses were:  malpractice, not overseeing financial control of your practice, substance abuse, gambling, etc.

After a few minutes he had to tell us the answer - Divorce.

He strongly recommended against it.  And even suggested that if the itch arrises NEVER get involved with a nurse or an office staff member.  But instead just go to a Continual Medical Education meeting in Vegas to see a professional as the care will be better and the expense is way less then the alternative…

About 80% of the men in that room have been divorced at least once.

And the only ones that I know who stayed married were honest men who had strong Christian beliefs.

I know a neurosurgeon that has been divorced 4x from nurses or scrub techs.  He works outrageous hours to support all the women and his next ex-wife.

My mom was a nurse for 30+ years. She has told me more than once that the best doctors tended to be jerks (ex wives, arrogant, etc) while the kindest, sweetest doctors were usually incompetent. It’s not an exact science and it’s just her observations of course. 

[Carborendum]

5 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

I've told my wife that the only reason I would ever divorce her would be to get remarried, and since that's not on the cards I see no reason to give free money to lawyers. If she wants a divorce then that's up to her, but it'll be her project not mine. Maybe one day I'll reconcile with her, but until then I'll be a MGTOW

I had thought that you were actually divorced and you only caller her your "wife" as a courtesy.

I don't know British divorce law or practice like I do the American system.  If you're not divorced, and you were in the US, I would say that you need to take some measures to protect yourself financially in the event of a divorce.  It appears that you currently have separate financial accounts.  That's good.  But I'd really take a good look at your situation from the lens of "what would happen in the event she decides to execute the divorce."

Then, more importantly, "What claim does she have on your assets because she is still married to you?"

[NeuroTypical]

"I'm done getting married.  From now on, every 10 years, I'm just gonna find me a woman I hate and buy her a house."
- Sadder but wiser guy

"Ok.  Our behaviors after a divorce fall in a scale from 'God is pleased to see me doing this', to 'I'm about to be arrested for stalking my ex, hiding in the bushes naked'.  This thing you're considering, where does it fall on that scale?"
- Me to a recently divorced buddy, probably being snarkier than I should have been.  But it led to a good conversation.

 

[mikbone]

1 hour ago, LDSGator said:

My mom was a nurse for 30+ years. She has told me more than once that the best doctors tended to be jerks (ex wives, arrogant, etc) while the kindest, sweetest doctors were usually incompetent. It’s not an exact science and it’s just her observations of course. 

You need a couple good things to be a good doctor. You need to understand triage.  Lots of experience. Confidence - which can easily morph into arrogance. You must be able to learn from mistakes (preferable from other’s mistakes - but also can’t ignore your own mistakes).  Extreme Ownership is a great model.  

Limited tolerance for tom foolery, wasting time, dumb people.  

Ignorance we can work with.  

You can find good doctors that are kind.  They are rare though.  Take for example President Nelson.

Many incompetent doctors try to compensate for lack of skills by being friendly and conciliatory.  Beware.

 

Edited June 20 by mikbone

[mikbone]

Bad joke I heard from a Neurosurgeon.

Why is divorce so expensive?

 

Because it’s worth it.

Edited June 20 by mikbone

[Carborendum]

9 minutes ago, mikbone said:

You need a couple good things to be a good doctor. You need to understand triage.  Lots of experience.

I certainly see a lot of parallels in any field.  I particularly see it in engineering.

9 minutes ago, mikbone said:

Confidence - which can easily morph into arrogance.

Yes, I can definitely cop to that.  I remember a particular instance very clearly.  I was in a debate with a manager about whether I received some information on a project.  Instead of simply double checking, I mistakenly thought that the info I received was for a different project that was very similar to the one we were discussing.

I stuck my foot in my mouth and it was pretty bad.

On the other side of the coin, it is very difficult to rise to the top of your profession without an extreme level of confidence.  Some basketball stars were commenting on Larry Bird's prowess.  Bird was known for calling the exact plays or scores he would make and boast that no one would be able to stop him.  And when it actually happened, they opposing team wasn't mad.  They simply laughed.  

The saying went on about him: "When you're that good, you're not being arrogant.  You're just good."

I don't think I've ever gone that far in my profession.  Then again, I didn't need to.  My office usually recognizes that I know what I'm doing.  And when I speak, it usually carries a lot of weight.  So, if anyone wants to debate me, they'd better have the receipts. And if they do, I acknowledge it and concede.

If only political discourse were as clear as engineering.

9 minutes ago, mikbone said:

You must be able to learn from mistakes (preferable from other’s mistakes - but also can’t ignore your own mistakes).

... And bad mistakes... I've made a few.

9 minutes ago, mikbone said:

Extreme Ownership is a great model.  

Loved that book.

[NeuroTypical]

Heh - I bet @mikbone will relate to this story:

I've been finance clerk a long time, and I've done tithing with almost a dozen different bishopric folks.  Doing tithing with the Emergency Room doc was a truly unique experience.  He immediately broke down the process of tithing to a series of discrete steps, to be performed in a certain order.   His part was opening the envelopes, removing the contents, reporting the contents to me, separating and storing the contents appropriately, filling out the forms, and disposing of the empty envelopes.   My part was setting the stage with letter opener/deposit slip book/bank deposit envelope/UPS mailer already labeled, recording the tithing on the computer as he read it out, removing and storing the deposit slip with his completed paperwork, and putting everything away.  Then we both followed the "always two brethren" process of leaving the building together and making the deposit.

His doctor brain had immediately identified that this was the correct division of labor, and although I was initially quicker with my stuff than he was, by the third Sunday, we were a well oiled machine that worked in utter tandem.  When we had a 'difficult slip' that took longer to enter, he was always pleased to see my burst of speed and flurry of clicking and typing to keep up with him.  He absolutely loathed the bank depository bag, because removing the little strip that exposed the adhesive to seal the bag closed was difficult, and if the tiniest bit of that adhesive stuck anywhere on that bag, it stuck there permanently, and he might have to start over with a new bag.  Which means he'd fall behind, and his faithful assistant would be sitting there with nothing to do while he putzed around with a stupid plastic bag.  He took it personally.  

It was a joy to work on his tithing team.

Edited June 20 by NeuroTypical

[LDSGator]

45 minutes ago, mikbone said:

You can find good doctors that are kind.  They are rare though.  Take for example President Nelson.

Many incompetent doctors try to compensate for lack of skills by being friendly and conciliatory.  Beware.

Agree. Like I said it’s not an exact science. 

[Vort]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

I stuck my foot in my mouth and it was pretty bad.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

I once worked as a technical writer for a developer lead named Jeff, a really smart guy whom I liked. He was a details kind of guy, and very precise in his wording. In one meeting with all the devs, he made a comment about something or other being the "penultimate" example of how to create some piece of the software. In horror, and as if outside my own body, I heard myself comment, "'Penultimate' means 'second-to-last'." As I sat stunned at my own comment, Jeff looked at me and said, "No, it means 'highest' or 'best'." Apparently too stupid to know when to shut up, I quietly and red-facedly said, "No, actually, it means 'second-to-last'."

After the meeting was over and we went back to our desks, we got an email from Jeff. It said, "Vort was right. 'Penultimate' means 'second-to-last'."

My victory has cost me years of regret and shame at not keeping my mouth shut over such a trivial, silly matter (and, to be fair, a few laughs at telling the story). So I, too, have suffered foot-in-mouth disease.

[mikbone]

20 minutes ago, Vort said:

penultimate

Well too bad he wasn’t a long jumper.  If so he would have known.  It is the most important part of the jump. If done right, it allows you to feel like you are jumping off a ramp.

Rookie. Don’t feel bad.  I would have lit him up.

Carl Lewis makes it look easy.  He did it naturally.  I had to learn.

Edited June 20 by mikbone

[Vort]

35 minutes ago, mikbone said:

Carl Lewis makes it look easy.  He did it naturally.  I had to learn.

It's your own fault. You should have chosen West African parentage.

[mordorbund]

44 minutes ago, mikbone said:

Carl Lewis makes it look easy.  He did it naturally.  I had to learn.

That poor man almost ran out of sand

[mikbone]

36 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

That poor man almost ran out of sand

In 1986 they moved the center of gravity 4” forward to shorten the javelin flight because it was starting to become an audience participation sport. 😯

[Jamie123]

5 hours ago, Carborendum said:

Then, more importantly, "What claim does she have on your assets because she is still married to you?"

You're right - I do need to research exactly where I stand. If we're set for long-term separation there likely need to be some safeguards. Deep down I still love her and I like to think this separation is only a temporary thing. Right now I couldn't handle having her back in the house. (I have uneasy dreams about it.) But maybe one day...

[Carborendum]

59 minutes ago, mikbone said:

In 1986 they moved the center of gravity 4” forward to shorten the javelin flight because it was starting to become an audience participation sport. 😯

Start at 5:00

 

[mikbone]

Yup Jan Železný GOAT.

This is my great-great grandfather.  

You would think that I had javelin throwing in my blood.

Nope, one of my worst events.

[LDSGator]

On 6/20/2024 at 5:35 PM, mikbone said:

Nope, one of my worst events.

I decided to take a dip in a large pond once. I’m in good shape, so I can swim with the sharks right? 
 

I lost by thirty points. I’m also completely convinced that he was holding back because he didn’t want to permanently damage me. Which he easily could have.
 

It was like a D3 college player (me) asking to play basketball with an NBA player. 

Edited June 21 by LDSGator

[mirkwood]

18 hours ago, LDSGator said:

I decided to take a dip in a large pond once. I’m in good shape, so I can swim with the sharks right? 
 

I lost by thirty points. I’m also completely convinced that he was holding back because he didn’t want to permanently damage me. Which he easily could have.
 

It was like a D3 college player (me) asking to play basketball with an NBA player. 

 

I like competing against superior performers (as a skill check.)  My last experience was a couple years ago shooting plates against a competition shooter I'm friend with (and was also teaching the course I was taking.)  I came in second...but it was pretty close.  I felt good.  In reality I am a pretty good shooter, but our top 5% are exceptionally good. 

[LDSGator]

1 hour ago, mirkwood said:

like competing against superior performers (as a skill check.) 

Yup. Same. It keeps your ego in check and you learn a ton. It’s also just good clean fun. 

 

1 hour ago, mirkwood said:

In reality I am a pretty good shooter, but our top 5% are exceptionally good. 

You are probably a better shooter than I am at TKD. I correctly called myself a D3 college starter. My instructors are NFL players, with one being an all pro.  For me, a guy with the innate athletic ability of a drunk sponge, I’m fine with that. 

Edited June 22 by LDSGator