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Scriptures in most major religions (including the Bible, the Qur'an, and LDS scriptures) all teach that if we seek God we will find him. You've sought him through your intellectual inquiry. Though the effort may not have resulted in strongly emotional reactions, your thinking has changed. Something is happening. Just continue in that. Ask God to show himself to you, and reveal what it is he wants of you. Part of what you will hear is that you are accountable to the one who created you and the world. Again, this reality is taught in all the major monotheistic religions. When you accept the need to be reconciled to God, then the real dilemma comes. Will your desire to embrace ultimate truth trump your desire (we all have it) to run your own life? Blessings as you walk this often quiet, but definitely momentous journey.

So, he's pretty much cheating in your marriage and you're the one in the wrong? I don't think his behavior is anywhere near the "confused path of self-identification". Talk to your bishop and let your husband deal with it.

I highly recommend a good read of section 98. For turning the other cheek i hope to be some day as anti nephi lehis or the people of alma were, but i am nowhere near there yet. I am not that strong nor have that kind of faith. The ultimate insult is taking everything a man cares for and destroying it. Conversely the ultimate turning the other cheek, is forgiving your enemy, during their very act taking everything you care for. As for guns in churches that is ultimately up to the bishop- ask him before you do so if he says yea then no problem. If he says nay, then respect that intrepretation.

Let him be outraged then. Are you not outraged at his behaviour? You need to take action for the sake of you children and yourself. If you fear for your physical safety you need to get yourself and the kids to a safe haven pronto.

Listen to what the sister missionaries are trying to teach you, and give it a try for awhile. Repent, fast and sincerely pray, explain the situation to God through prayer and tell him what you have told us here. You aren't alone in feeling that many members become highly emotional, and feeling odd about it. The Good News is that the promptings of the spirit don't have to be strong emotions. They can be though, and for many this is how they relate to the spirit, often described as a "burning in the bosom". Even more often you will hear it described as "a still small voice". Which might be a thought, or prompting. Or a feeling of peace. Each person is a little different and they may be lead in their own unique way. You may not realize it, but you have already shown interest in God. Why did you become interested in apologetic's and begin reading it? Why have you been approached by missionaries at this time? You even talked with them, and from your own description are listening and trying to approach God through prayer. Something seems to indeed be driving you towards him. I am not in need of my mother or father anymore, I can even live comfortably without them, and yet I find goodness in being with them and spending time together. Do you see any value in the way of life that is prescribed by Christ? Turning towards God because of that goodness is good enough reason itself. Sometimes we make small sacrifices of comfort for something greater. [i'd just like to add that it's pretty dang comfortable to lay in bed all day, but it's even better to get up and do things every once in awhile. Like eating xD ]

Return to your home country. Find a nice Mormon girl and marry her. There are so many problems with your scenario, and while the feelings might be strong now they will fade and you need to build your relationship on something solid. 1. If you marry a non-LDS girl it will be harder to raise your children as members of the Church. 2. You can never have a temple marriage, which means you will not attain your exaltation and become a god in the next life. You will not create worlds, you won't have a continuation of the seed and you won't be united as an eternal family unit. 3. If she converts it will probably lead to her ostracisation. Depending on the country, it might even lead to her imprisonment.

These topics really hit close to home for me and not because I'm "liberal" but because I do have people IN my life that live with the challenges of being LGBT. For an individual who has postponed seeking information or help regarding suppressed feelings, such as same-sex sexuality or gender identification, it's a super scary situation and likely not one they're openly going to discuss right off the bat. Even with close friends, family, and yes, even spouses. I understand your feelings of betrayal and frustration, but I'd urge you to continue being loving and listen to whatever your husband needs to say, when he is ready. I'm certain he's not feeling all that fantastic, either, not with how LGBT's are viewed by outsiders. I agree with others, find a support system, and start having those tough discussions about living with a loved one who is homosexual or transgender. I should add, transgender is the transition from one sex to the other, but is not limited to one sexual preference. There are transgender gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and heterosexuals. It's a lot to comprehend and gather but if you're wanting to at least learn what your husband might be dealing with, there are plenty of resources for family members to read up on, groups to join, where you can find that helpful information. You don't have to agree with it, it's just info in explaining a little bit in what LGBT folks are going through. Good luck. Be a friend, be a lover, and be patient.

I think you may have missed some important parts of the birds and bees talk.

Maybe we should come up with safe-harbor laws for how we can be sure that a property owner really means what has already given every indication of having meant. We could call it--I dunno--"yes means yes", or something. With a little more seriousness: Sure, I wouldn't throw a tantrum about a biomedical technician with a petri dish full of bacteria or a demolition worker with a stick of dynamite. I'd just say "hey, I know you're a careful guy, but I'd prefer that stuff not be brought into my home". My effort to be civil and low-key, and my acknowledgement that these materials can theoretically be handled safely, should not be read as any sort of tacit permission to bring dynamite, or toxic bacteria, or a firearm into my home after I've point-blank told you I don't want it there. It doesn't matter that you think you do (or maybe even actually do) know how to defend my home better than I do. It's simple respect--my house, my rules. And although I'm pretty pro-2nd Amendment, I get real scared when gun owners decide that their right to a gun trumps my right to my own property. Because you justify an awful lot with that sort of precedent. (And frankly, I have had an experience with a CCW coming into my home (well, my in-laws' home), bringing his loaded firearm with him, and then setting it on the table and engaging us in conversation even though there were five kids under seven running around the house at the time. So, this is kind of a tender spot for me. Gun-owners shouldn't need to be told (twice) to respect the homeowner and not to be dipweeds.) In point of fact, the Mormons at Haun's Mill did have firearms. But, at Far West they didn't; so I do get your point. But then, if you think I'm asking you not to bring guns into my home so that I can beat you, rape your wife, and shoot your kids--well, maybe it would be prudent not to come to my house at all.

Please note that the church is striving to help families (aka Husbands and Wives) be One as commanded by the Lord. It is not going to endorse actions that can cause greater strife and/or possible divorce... That runs counter to the commandments of the Lord. It is equally true that if the Husband wanted to get baptized and the Wife was against it the council would be, "A husband should respect his wife's wishes," "without the wife's consent," "unless she agree to it," "should respect her position as wife and mother of the family" You can try to slant it as anti-woman if you choose to see it that way, but it is not. It is pro-family and acknowledges that everyone in a relationship has to compromise some individual freedoms to keep the relationship healthy. People are of course free to choose their own course of actions... They will also be held accountable for what they did and the consequence of their actions. If someone destroys their marriage it will not be because the Church encouraged such actions