Suzie

I wasn't passing judgment on you but if you felt I did, I sincerely apologize. Certainly, I don't see you as a " poor sinful jerk", that statement left me discombobulated. I don't have issues with your conservative mormonism approach to things at all, I can disagree with your points of view without becoming disagreeable.

I shared my personal experience, of course I will add my personal interpretation. What you did with MOE's post was a little different. In my opinion, one has to be very careful in not trying to interpret the personal experiences of others (unless the person makes such request) and particularly those of a religious nature and in a way that can hurt others. In my view, when you are telling a poster (someone you probably never met) that their thoughts/feelings mean they know better than God, you are directly or indirectly passing judgement about that person's attitude towards God.What kind of individual think they know better than God? The humble and teachable or the proud and arrogant? Perhaps you are unaware of it but in my view, statements like that can make you sound like a jerk even if you had the best of intentions. Why pointing out something about your manner of speech equals to talking-down to? That's certainly not the purpose. Is that how you see it when others disagree with you or point something out for your analysis and consideration? I would sincerely hope, you would take my opinion (even if you disagree) coming from a good place, with the purpose of trying to help you.

What caused the incident in the first place? If they didn't change during all those years, it is unlikely they will. You need to analyze if it is something you can live with and most of all, if you have your husband's support.

I would say disagreements are a normal part of a relationship. However, the way people chooses to express those disagreements can or cannot be considered normal.

You seem fixated in trying to add your personal interpretation of things, which I guess it's fine as long as you are aware it is just your opinion.

I confess I developed a dislike for Church meetings in general. When I just got married, my husband was the First Counselor in the Stake Presidency and the Stake President who I love dearly, had meetings once a week from 6:00pm all the way to 10:00 or even 11:00pm sometimes. It was very frustrating for his counselors and their families. At that time, I was teaching Institute so I would wait for my husband sometimes but then when I realized it was a habit, I stopped and I went straight home. His counselors spoke to him many times about it but it didn't change a thing. No matter how much I love this man, I find it was disrespectful.

I think Mormons just LOVE meetings, we LOVE them so much that we use a meeting to PLAN the next meeting. Yeah.

How would you define being a people-pleaser? You define it as trying to make people comfortable and happy? Or you define it as pleasing others at all times no matter what?. If the second, when did you start doing it? How it makes you feel? Finding the root of the issue is very important in order to modify behavior. Often times, it is done because we seek the approval of our family members, colleagues and friends and we don't realize our worth, could it be because we don't feel appreciated and by pleasing others, we feel others will like us. Often times, unfortunately this leads to people taking full advantage of us. I can only suggest to realize that it is okay to make others happy but it is not okay to try to please others all the time just because they ask you something and you cannot say "no". It will cause you to be angry and hold grudges.

The wedding reception is the least of your worries. If your fiance had/is experiencing emotional/psychological abuse from her father be prepared to deal with a whole lot of underlined issues and behavioral problems after you two get married (if you haven't seen the signs as yet). It is not going to be easy and you shouldn't take it personal but instead get the help she might need from you, good relatives and even a counselor if necessary.

Hi everyone I was very busy with work and I am presently researching about the first LDS African American woman, very little information to work on but I am very excited about this research! The Church never openly admitted it was due to racism and the practice was in place for such a long time and started with no other than Brigham Young himself. I think it was quite scary for any Church leader or prophet to stop the practice suddenly without a revelation, risk themselves being in the wrong and risk Young and making him appear like a crazy old man or what is worse, a racist bigot. Can you imagine? “Dear brothers and sisters, for 126 years starting with Brigham Young our Prophets, Seers and Revelators withheld the blessings of the Priesthood to millions and millions of faithful Latter-Day Saints around the globe, it was very wrong, a mistake and we are sadly to admit it was due to racism, but we made it right in 1978.” Something tells me that a lot of people will not want to read something like that.

In this particular situation, non-LDS. Going to a psychologist is about trying to resolve these issues and finding the root of the problem, wherever it comes from. A psychologist doesn't become one overnight. A real professional spends more than 10 years in a higher education setting so no need to worry about whether or not he/she will side with her to some degree or not. This isn't about "I am right Vs. She is wrong". Your daughter and your whole family need help.

I got: 60 out of a possible 150 Unbelievably privileged; check it hourly.

For example?

Washer, stove (and food to cook!), microwave, computers, having electricity and clean water for my family to drink, etc. ALL the things most of us take for granted. Little luxuries such as going to the cinema once in a blue moon, shopping once a year for clothes, shoes and bags and getting organic/vegan products.

In the early days, the Saints met on the Sabbath following the tradition of most Protestant Churches at that time. They held two services, one before noon (the preaching service) and a second after lunch (sacrament meeting), usually outdoors if the weather allowed it or in member's homes or even schools. In Nauvoo, the gathering was often times too large to accomodate in a normal meetinghouse or home and they were forced to meet outdoors. The first recorded sacrament meeting was just two months after the Restoration (June, 1830) then a few months later, the hymns were added. It wasn't uncommon to hear the sermons while they were passing the sacrament or hear Saints singing, or playing an instrument. All of these things stopped around the 1940's when the leaders counseled reverence and no distractions during the service. Twenty years after the Restoration and up to early 1900's, we started seeing a few changes. Meetinghouses, sacrament meetings in every ward, stake conferences, etc. Also up to around that date, fasting was held on the first Thursday of the month and changed to the First Sunday. In the 1930's Priesthood meetings were also changed to Sunday mornings previously held during the week.

Shepard, I know you received a lot of feedback here and I hope you kindly allow me to give you my little two cents on this matter. I do understand your concern about the Bishop and the kind of questions he asked during that interview but I would like to deal with your daughter's manipulation techniques and of course, I can only write from a very limited understanding. I know everyone feels the need for you to "fix" your daughter, but the truth is that your daughter isn't broken. She is manipulating you emotionally and I have the impression she has been doing that for a very long time but let's make something very clear: No one can manipulate you without your permision. What is needed? Well, a little instrospection where you will have to face and deal with your own feelings of insecurity, inadequency, guilt, feeling intimidated, bullied etc because in the end, if you do not deal with those feelings FIRST and realize who you are and where you are standing and what do you want to do from here, your daughter's manipulation techniques will continue working on you because she will NOT stop, I repeat, she will NOT stop until YOU decide to change some things and pronto. Children who manipulate know their parents more than the parents know them, it makes them feel powerful and that feeling gives them a quick ego boost. Having said that, teenagers also need to be heard and less preached and if they express a particular point of view, they strongly need someone to believe them and validate their feelings (not necessarily agree with them) and if it doesn't happen around those who he/she trusts, they will do whatever is necessary to prove their point. It might not an appropiate course of action (but I believe we should also understand that their pre-frontal cortex isn't fully developed as yet and that's the part of the brain that deals with decision making and judgement between other things). No matter what is the cause, you need to hold your teenager accountable and that's the number one reason she is manipulating everyone around her and that's why she doesn't seem to understand boundaries and is unrepentant. You need to become more proficient than her in your ability to communicate, you need to ensure that when you are talking with her, YOU are the one in control of the conversation and no matter how much she tries to deviate the convo to fullfil her own agenda, you always need to bring it back to the negative impact her behavior is having to those around her. All this, takes an enormous ammount of emotional strenght and you will have to learn a few techniques along the way therefore I suggest before even starting dealing with your daughter's issues, that you can seek professional help for yourself first, your wife and your entire family. All the best.

I don't agree with him telling others what they should stop saying. Having said that, I understand what he probably tried to say. A lot of people in Church when sharing their testimonies use the terms "believe" and "know" as the same and they are surely not the same.

Since I was a little girl, I always thought in quite a progressive sort of way.

And that's great and commendable. Thank goodness those sandals won't affect their ability to draw closer to Heavenly Father.

Elder Uchtdorf's talk on gratitude was exactly what I needed to hear. I must say that for some reason or another, he (particularly) gives talks that relate to my life in so many ways. I am grateful.

I don\'t have much to say other than I am posting this to see how my post looks like. lol

Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Unfortunately, many times we are away from home for many hours not only due to our demanding jobs but also Church related activities and callings, leaving little time to spend with our families. I think the most important thing to do is prioritize, it makes little sense to me to spend hours in a Church activity when at home our spouse might be alone dealing with the children and doing all the chores. Service starts at home, families are our priority and the proper balance needs to be reached.

And you are indirectly or directly assuming that these groups are praying that our leaders be on the "right path" and praying that they become as "wise and knowledgeable" as they are. How could you possible know the deepest intentions of their hearts? There is no way you can possible know. You call what you assume they do in prayer as arrogance, I call this assumption of yours, arrogance.

No!

Bini, I wouldn't suggest to do that (taking care of the kids yes sure, confronting your friend's husband and co-worker definitely a no-no). In this kind of situations, you need to keep a cool head. That's a marital and personal issue that only those involved should discuss. As a friend, your job is to listen, support and love which I am sure you are already doing. :) She will need you more than ever.