Manners Matter

Seems to me there's nothing stopping him from saying a silent prayer beforehand.

Just had another thought - Have either of you been to the temple? The endowment is a Priesthood meeting full of instruction and doesn't begin with prayer. There's your precedence. 

Just had another thought - Have either of you been to the temple? The endowment is a Priesthood meeting full of instruction and doesn't begin with prayer. There's your precedence. 

Seems to me there's nothing stopping him from saying a silent prayer beforehand.

Thanks so much @Nuero!! You rock!!

Richard Hook.  Google image search.
https://www.pinterest.com/chrisarnotlouis/richard-and-frances-hook-inspirational/?lp=true
 

There is no "non disciplinary" option in parenting.  Even fun has to be outlined with discipline.  Is a critical skill that you have to learn, even if does not come naturally.

I hate to break it to ya, Alia but parenting doesn't work this way.  You being the "fun" parent is a disservice to your husband and not only makes all his efforts null and void, it makes your child hate your husband for his efforts.
But, don't be sad... you will get your chance... you can be the "fun" grandparent!  That's where you get to do all the fun and games then hand the grandkid over to their parents when they start throwing tantrums or soil their diapers.
 

I have found (6 kids and counting, the oldest turning 26 today and the youngest is a yea and a half old) that I've bonded the closest when I am both fun AND a disciplinarian.  I'm firm, sometimes you could even say I'm mean.  I lay down the rules and I'm quite strict.  I punish swiftly and without hesitation.  (Usually that means revocation of privileges, grounding, toys taken away, etc.)  I have a  practiced and highly effective "daddy voice" that brooks no talkback.  I am an authoritative (not authoritarian) parent.
BUT 
That's balanced with my always listening to my kids when they need to express themselves.  I engage in activities with them, like building/launching model rockets, wrestling with them, teaching them things like fixing cars or building a Space  Marine suit, we work on models and miniatures together, I share my childhood loves with them, and how to program computers.
My 10-year-old daughter becomes distraught if she doesn't get her "daddy time" every evening, where we talk, watch funny videos, work on her science projects, etc.  My youngest son (7) likes to hang out with me in the activity room because he can ask me for help and/or advice when working on his plastic models.  I allow them to play video games on my gaming computer I built last year, and they help me with my hobbies.  That quality time together is spent laughing and playing around.  We even occasionally get really goofy, like when I instigated a food fight at the end of dinner one evening last week when momma was at work 😎
All of my kids and I are very close because kids crave discipline, and they crave positive attention, and a balanced parent gives them both.  That's how kids know you love them.  You not only let them have fun and play, but you provide them with a framework for how that play needs to happen (nobody getting injured, no property being damaged, etc.)  Disciplining a child shows them you love them every bit as much as  giving them a gift or letting them have a privilege.  And you know what?  They do perceive it that way.  
The most important thing though, is be consistent.  No matter what you do or how you do it, if you're consistent, it's better than having a wildly inconsistent approach.
I'm a strict disciplinarian but not once has any of my kids ever told me they hated me, or been afraid to tell me how they're feeling.  Even when I'm furious at them, I let them give me their side (as long as it's not talking back.  There's a difference, and my kids know what it is.)  And sometimes I'm wrong.  When I'm wrong, I back down and apologize because that too is a valuable lesson to teach the kids.  Set an example.
Apologies for rambling, the short version is this:  Disciplining your kids will strengthen your bond with them, not weaken it.  They need you to be their parent, not their friend.  They've got plenty of friends but only two parents.

Sorry that's been happening, @anatess2. Too many members seem to misunderstand what 'keep it simple' means. If my kid came home with all sorts of 'fluff and stuff' but nothing added to their armor (or there was a blasé fare attitude as you describe), I'd be having some conversations with leaders about what they're spending their time preparing (or not as the case may be).

Sorry that's been happening, @anatess2. Too many members seem to misunderstand what 'keep it simple' means. If my kid came home with all sorts of 'fluff and stuff' but nothing added to their armor (or there was a blasé fare attitude as you describe), I'd be having some conversations with leaders about what they're spending their time preparing (or not as the case may be).

I hope you're not really serious about this.  You're gonna have to figure it out.  Please don't raise children who will be a burden to society.  I mean, we ask nothing less of people who own dogs who think they can just leave the training to dogsitters, or worse let dogs out to socialize without knowing how to behave properly.  How much more for children.  It is YOUR responsibility.  Not just your husband's.  And it sure isn't the babysitter's or school teacher's.  I don't mean to sound harsh but there are too many kids in school who has not learned discipline who make it harder for the other kids in class as the teacher has to interrupt instruction to correct disruptive behavior that kids should have mastered at home.
So, I understand if you find disciplining your kid hard.  But you can't just say, "I can't do it".  You're gonna need to do it.  So it's best to start to learn how to do it now.  I got lesson 1 ready for you:  "The objective is not for your kid to like you.  The objective is for you (and everybody else) to like your kid.  It's hard to like a misbehaved kid, even for his mother."

The key is to keep it simple.
Activity Night was broken up into 3 segments:
~ While we waited for kids to show up - they either did something to get energy out (hokey-pokey, dance/freeze, etc) or we just chatted
~ Brief welcome, song of my choosing (went with the theme - but girls took turns leading), prayer
~ Short 'sharing time' style lesson (10-15 minutes unless good discussion is happening - scripture/AofF/object lesson...)
~ 15-20 minute activity/game that reinforces the principle and something that gets them out of their seats
~ quieter activity they do until time to go home
I know this doesn't add up to an hour but we were never able to start on time (that's just not going to happen here with the parents crazy commutes).
 
I didn't bother with conducting sheets.
I only did snacks twice and both were simple and on the healthy side (once because it went with the theme and was an activity; the other time was for Christmas).
I left the tracking to the parents as stated in the FinG booklet (pg 17-19 As children complete activities, they can track their progress by marking the chart on page 20 of this guidebook.). I would email the parents of the girls that were there giving a brief synopsis and what still needed to be done *at home* to pass it off.
^^ This also meant that I didn't bother with 'rewards/prizes' when they met the requirement (that's for the parents to do if they choose - "Parents and leaders should help the children understand that the joy of living the gospel is the most important reward." FinG booklet, pg 19)
I also didn't plan too far in advance (learned that lesson with a previous calling - was released out of the blue and the person who followed me wasn't the type to do what I had been planning). I also needed the freedom to do what worked best for me any given month so telling the parents the plan months in advance would put me in a corner which I wasn't going to do.
I also left birthdays to the Sunday teachers/primary presidency (we had some come so seldom, it would be too risky for a girl to feel left out even though her bday was 2 months ago but she hadn't been coming).
Oh, I would have the girls sign a note/card every few months to be sent to the inactives (I made sure to include meeting time, place).
 
There are a lot of ideas out there that people are doing/have done but that doesn't mean you need to do it as well. Just follow the good/better/best principle and don't worry about all the rest.
"But sometimes we take the beautiful lily of God’s truth and gild it with layer upon layer of man-made good ideas, programs, and expectations. Each one, by itself, might be helpful and appropriate for a certain time and circumstance, but when they are laid on top of each other, they can create a mountain of sediment that becomes so thick and heavy that we risk losing sight of that precious flower we once loved so dearly.
Therefore, as leaders we must strictly protect the Church and the gospel in its purity and plainness and avoid putting unnecessary burdens on our members.
And all of us, as members of the Church, we need to make a conscientious effort to devote our energy and time to the things that truly matter, while uplifting our fellowmen and building the kingdom of God." - Pres. Uchtdorf, General Conference Oct 2015

Welcome! One of my ancestral lines is Swedish and I've been wanting to learn about Scandinavian customs and traditions. Would love to travel there some day, too.

You totally missed the point.
No, you won't be related to her. Associated, yes; related, no.

In case you're not aware, there's a church bookstore in town. They don't have the biggest selection but may be worth a look. Parking in back.
This Is The Place - Kensington (A Deseret Book Licensed Retailer)
103335 KENSINGTON PKWY
KENSINGTON MD, 20895
Phone Number: 301-933-1943

Good rule of thumb: "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

Good rule of thumb: "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

hmmm ---
Maybe she can interview grandparents about when their parents* demonstrated integrity, then type them up and post them on FamilySearch. 
*going back far enough because people don't show up on FS till after they pass as well as the fact that this is a way to capture that info before it's too late

Yes, I do. I'm the father of five, and so have had five very intimate chances to experience what you're dealing with. Here are a few tips and things to remember:
Just go to Church. Even if you spend the entire time sitting in the hall, go anyway. You can enjoy the Spirit and maybe chat with some fellow Saints, and at least for the sacrament meeting, you can still partake of the sacrament and listen to the speakers even in the foyer. Stay for both hours. Within a month, your baby can go into the nursery, and you'll be able to attend gospel doctrine and Relief Society. This will not last forever. It's actually a very short time, even if it seems like forever. Children grow up very fast. Two years might sound like a long time, but trust me, it is not. Two years from now, your baby won't be a baby any more, and you and he (and who knows, maybe your husband) will be regular and welcome faces in your ward. Go for that picture and make it a reality. You have lots and lots and lots of company. You're treading the same path that countless others have walked before you, including many in your ward. The only people who might not be understanding are those who haven't yet gone down that path, and in the Church, that's not many people. (And most of the childless are sympathetic to the plight of parents of young children, too, so odds are few if any will be anything other than sympathetic and helpful.) As for how to handle a toddler at that age in a sacrament meeting, let me offer you some insights into what worked for me during the sixteen or so years that I dealt with very young children at Church.
Do not expect to be able to hear most of the talks. Just accept that for the next year or so, you won't be hearing much. If you do, BONUS! But have the expectation that you're going to Church and, while there, deal as best you can with your baby, because that's the most likely reality. Do it anyway. Infants and most very small children (about 18 months and younger) cannot really be disciplined, so don't try. Your job is to keep them as happy and comfortable as possible. Distraction often works very well for such children. More on that below. Now, the children will adapt to conditions they're exposed to, so by going the sacrament meeting you're helping them to set their own expectations. If you never go to sacrament meeting, they will never understand that it's a normal environment and get comfortable with it. If your child is mildly fussy, distract him with a soft, quiet toy like a teddy bear or a teething ring. As long as he's not screaming or being very loud, try to stay in sacrament meeting and teach him to be content. If your child is screaming or very loud, take him out to the foyer in consideration of others in the meeting. Sure, it seems unfair that you have to miss the meeting. Welcome to parenthood. We make all sorts of sacrifices for our children and for our neighbors who would otherwise be inconvenienced by our children. This, too, shall pass, and all too quickly (see "This will not last forever" above). NEVER, EVER, EVER LET YOUR CHILD RUN UP AND DOWN THE AISLES DURING SACRAMENT MEETING. Sorry if this seems stupidly obvious, but judging by the number of times I have seen this in Church, apparently it's not as obvious as all that to some people. If you do see other parents allowing their children to do this, please understand that that is an example of poor decision-making by the parents, not a signal that you should do the same. Be the responsible parent, not the other kind. I have noticed during my (extensive) time sitting in the foyer that many people don't "do" the foyer right with their children. When they go into the foyer, they drop their kid and let him run around while they (the parents) chat with each other.
DON'T DO THIS.
If you do, you are teaching your child that if he fusses and screams, he gets to go out and run around. What small child wouldn't want that? OF COURSE he's going to scream! He gets to run around if he does!
Here is the key to proper foyer etiquette with your child, based on long experience. This is so important that I'll give it its own heading:
HOW TO TAKE YOUR CHILD OUT INTO THE FOYER DURING SACRAMENT MEETING
When you take the child (toddler, say about two years old or more—remember, younger children just get held, fed, and comforted) into the foyer, it's a classic time-out situation. You sit the child on your lap while you both sit facing the corner or wall. If the child wants to get up, you don't let him. Sitting in the foyer is just that: Sitting. Do not be harsh or angry. You aren't mad at your child. Just make sure the foyer is as boring as you can possibly make it. No toys. No food. No books. NO TALKING AT ALL (that includes you, Mom). All you do is sit with your arms folded and stare at the wall. If your child gets restless, he's not allowed to do anything about it.
Just stare at the wall.
Boooooooring.
That's what you want. Boring as all get-out. Staring at the wall. Nothing to do, can't talk, no playing or reading or anything.
Staring at the wall.
After your child has successfully stared QUIETLY at the wall for a sufficient time (about one minute per year of age, so a two-year-old would be looking at the wall for about two minutes—maybe half that time would be sufficient to start out with), you then quietly and kindly ask your child if he wants to go back in. Maybe one time in a hundred he will say "No!", in which case you stare at the wall some more for a couple of minutes.
Eventually (almost always the first time, and never more than the second time for my children), when you ask if he wants to go back in, he will say "yes". You then remind him that when we're in sacrament meeting, we have to be quiet and reverent all the time. That means he can't talk out loud or make noise or scream. He can read his soft book or play with toys or whatever, but no noise. Will he be quiet when we go back in the chapel?
Of course, he will say yes. So back in you go.
And guess what happens? He gets loud again, sometimes 20 minutes later, sometimes two minutes later. What do you do?
Take him out into the foyer again, rinse, and repeat. Same drill. Stare at the wall.
I don't think that even the most recalcitrant of my children took more than two or three weeks of this before they realized that they were much better off being quiet during the sacrament meeting. Of course, they slipped up and occasionally still had to be taken out, but it was manageable. A fond if somewhat embarrassing memory is my taking my toddler daughter out into the foyer when she wouldn't calm down, and as we walked up the aisle with her in my arms, her screaming at the top of her lungs in a tearful and almost panicked voice, "NO!! DADDY!! NOT THE FOYER!! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE FOYER!!"

Had another idea - Make a board game that teaches others different aspects of integrity and play it for a combined ym/yw mutual night and/or acitivity days.
Something like:
choose card > good scenarios move forward, wrong choices move back 
~ didn't take more than your share of the refreshments = move forward 2 spaces
~ looked at someone else's paper during a test at school = move back 5 spots
~ told the ref that the ball was out of bounds even though it meant you didn't score... = move forward 4 spaces
etc
There could also be quote cards mixed in and/or real-life examples that show the importance of integrity (ie if my dad and brothers hadn't had integrity in their work, there wouldn't have been food on our table because they wouldn't have been chosen for jobs; my brother-in-law was hired for a summer job because he was the only one who answered honestly that he'd be going back to school in the fall even though he knew they wanted someone more long-term)
 
 
 

Had another idea - Make a board game that teaches others different aspects of integrity and play it for a combined ym/yw mutual night and/or acitivity days.
Something like:
choose card > good scenarios move forward, wrong choices move back 
~ didn't take more than your share of the refreshments = move forward 2 spaces
~ looked at someone else's paper during a test at school = move back 5 spots
~ told the ref that the ball was out of bounds even though it meant you didn't score... = move forward 4 spaces
etc
There could also be quote cards mixed in and/or real-life examples that show the importance of integrity (ie if my dad and brothers hadn't had integrity in their work, there wouldn't have been food on our table because they wouldn't have been chosen for jobs; my brother-in-law was hired for a summer job because he was the only one who answered honestly that he'd be going back to school in the fall even though he knew they wanted someone more long-term)
 
 
 

hmmm ---
Maybe she can interview grandparents about when their parents* demonstrated integrity, then type them up and post them on FamilySearch. 
*going back far enough because people don't show up on FS till after they pass as well as the fact that this is a way to capture that info before it's too late

hmmm ---
Maybe she can interview grandparents about when their parents* demonstrated integrity, then type them up and post them on FamilySearch. 
*going back far enough because people don't show up on FS till after they pass as well as the fact that this is a way to capture that info before it's too late

DO NOT WATCH THE CEREMONY ON YOUTUBE!
 
Trust me on that one.