Tight and revealing

[Guest]

We don't have this problem in our ward.  Most of my skirts that are not from the Philippines are the polyester/spandex kind that I get from Walmart for $12.  They are all a-lined cut and they don't hug the butt.

 

Here's a picture of one:

http://www.forever21.com/images/1_front_750/00172806-03.jpg

 

 

Here's a picture of the same material that is cut so that it hugs the butt.  This is popular among the kids in school.  I haven't seen these worn at church though.

http://www.forever21.com/images/4_full_750/00143177-01.jpg

[beefche]

I'm so clueless. I honestly have no idea what the OP is talking about. It could be because I'm a woman and just don't think/see things like a man does. But, I honestly can't think of a dress that is long but clingy that he is referring to.

 

I have dresses that show my shape, but I don't think they are tight. The 2nd link that Anatess posted as an example of a dress that hugs the tush doesn't look inappropriate to me at all. It looks like a normal skirt.

 

I've seen some revealing clothes on women at church. But they were revealing more because of the cut of the dress showing lots of cleavage or stomach rather than because it was tight.

 

But, again, I admit that I'm clueless.

[Guest]

I'm so clueless. I honestly have no idea what the OP is talking about. It could be because I'm a woman and just don't think/see things like a man does. But, I honestly can't think of a dress that is long but clingy that he is referring to.

 

I have dresses that show my shape, but I don't think they are tight. The 2nd link that Anatess posted as an example of a dress that hugs the tush doesn't look inappropriate to me at all. It looks like a normal skirt.

 

I've seen some revealing clothes on women at church. But they were revealing more because of the cut of the dress showing lots of cleavage or stomach rather than because it was tight.

 

But, again, I admit that I'm clueless.

 

When you look at the 2nd picture from the back and it's not black, a slight indentation forms right in the middle that forms a darker shadow than the sides providing aid to the imagination.  You might wanna check your skirts if you have some of these cuts from the back.  It is, of course, easily remedied by wearing a long top or a jacket that covers that area.

[beefche]

Thanks, anatess. But, I still don't see it. I tried looking at that site at pencil skirts that are taupe colored to see what is so wrong with them. Other than showing the girl has hips and a tush, I just can't see what's inappropriate about it.

 

You don't need to keep trying to explain. I am just accepting that either I don't have inappropriate clothes or I cannot see what is wrong with these clothes.

[The Folk Prophet]

If that 2nd skirt is immodest then I'm a monkey's uncle.

[omegaseamaster75]

Nothing wrong with the first one either

[Guest]

If that 2nd skirt is immodest then I'm a monkey's uncle.

 

Yeah, it's more a problem with the person looking really.  I mean... you gotta be looking at the butt to even notice it... and who does that at church?

[The Folk Prophet]

Yeah, it's more a problem with the person looking really.  I mean... you gotta be looking at the butt to even notice it... and who does that at church?

 

Men.

[Guest]

Men.

 

Hah!

[Vort]

If that 2nd skirt is immodest then I'm a monkey's uncle.

 

Your niece might object to that characterization.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

This is not the bishop's responsibility. It also strikes me as a very bad idea for him to be one-on-one calling people to task for his idea of what's immodest. Bad, bad, bad idea.

 

The lessons on modesty, yes. Good idea.

 

Teach them correct principles. Let them govern themselves.

I have never agreed with you more!  

[Guest]

I can think of one dress in my adult life that was truly so tight that it made me blush, and made my husband run for the Sunday School class door. She was a young sister and I'm sure had no idea. But it was skin tight, and showed every detail of her shape. The neckline wasn't low, it had long sleeves, and it went past the knee, but the tightness of it was definitely an issue She wore it a couple of times a month. My husband is really good at averting his eyes and ignoring, but after a time he asked me if someone needed to say something to her. They happened to move not long after that, so I never really thought it through; but my instinct is that it is most assuredly NOT a man's place, except her husbands, and maybe maybe maybe the RS president might have occasion to say something, but I can't imagine how. She was a good and sweet sister who no doubt had no intention of making anyone uncomfortable. 

[Crypto]

This doesn't seem to be a problem in my ward. Guess my ward should count our blessings.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Crypto

[Vort]

I can think of one dress in my adult life that was truly so tight that it made me blush, and made my husband run for the Sunday School class door. She was a young sister and I'm sure had no idea. But it was skin tight, and showed every detail of her shape. The neckline wasn't low, it had long sleeves, and it went past the knee, but the tightness of it was definitely an issue She wore it a couple of times a month. My husband is really good at averting his eyes and ignoring, but after a time he asked me if someone needed to say something to her. They happened to move not long after that, so I never really thought it through; but my instinct is that it is most assuredly NOT a man's place, except her husbands, and maybe maybe maybe the RS president might have occasion to say something, but I can't imagine how. She was a good and sweet sister who no doubt had no intention of making anyone uncomfortable. 

 

Your husband might have said, with shining eyes, "You know, you look just really GREAT in that dress! I mean you look FANTASTIC! Like WOW!" every time she wore it.

[Str8Shooter]

This is not the bishop's responsibility. It also strikes me as a very bad idea for him to be one-on-one calling people to task for his idea of what's immodest. Bad, bad, bad idea.

 

The lessons on modesty, yes. Good idea.

 

Teach them correct principles. Let them govern themselves.

It is a bad idea for the bishop to call people to task on his idea of what's immodest.  Very, very bad.

 

However, it is a requirement for a bishop to call people to task when the people repeatedly violate gospel standards of modesty.  They obviously don't know what the standards are or they are openly rebelling.  Bishop's counsel can help resolve these issues.  If open rebellion continues, they risk being disciplined.

[Guest]

Your husband might have said, with shining eyes, "You know, you look just really GREAT in that dress! I mean you look FANTASTIC! Like WOW!" every time she wore it.

 

Clearly you have never met him. He'd die of embarrassment before she had time to realize what was happening. 

[classylady]

Your husband might have said, with shining eyes, "You know, you look just really GREAT in that dress! I mean you look FANTASTIC! Like WOW!" every time she wore it.

 

I need a laugh button!

[David13]

I have noticed we do not have this problem in our ward.  The dress is very modest, nothing 'tight' or 'revealing'.

In Anatess's two photos, the immodesty of the first is the bare midrif.  The open belly should not be exposed there, the skirt is okay, only with some type of shirt that covers the gut.  Please.

How about some of these poor young men.  Who wear a suit that fit one or two or three years ago, and now looks like they are poured into it.  But that's a big money issue.

A lot of the missionaries (male ones) have that problem.  Outgrown their suit.  It's not a modesty issue, but a budget matter.  It just makes me feel like saying to them, ok, I'm taking you down to the men's store and I'm going to buy you a new suit.  That fits you now.

Which they probably would all like but I would soon be broke.

How about a man in a skirt at church last week?

No, not one of the anti Prop 8 ilk.

We have a lot of Samoans, and I'm told also Tongans.  And he was in a Samoan (I think) tribal skirt and, well I didn't look him over much, you know, you have to pretend not to notice.  A colorful shirt and skirt.   He was leaving the church and I forget what time, so he might not have gone to sacrament meeting in that outfit, it might have been some type of well, maybe a Samoan baptism?

dc

[priesthoodpower]

I think Sister Bednar would likely be concerned with what my undisciplined eyes see as well:

 

 

"Young women, you have a responsibility not to invite unwanted thoughts into the mind of a young man by the way you dress;" Sister Bednar

 

As a Father or 3 young daughters I try to instill this thought process in them not only for church but school and play. I always get grief from them saying that I am too extreme and paranoid over this whole dressing modestly issue.

 

However I am sure there are some women groups out there that would find offense to what Sister Benar is saying, as if its the womans fault for a mans negative behavior/thoughts.

 

"..its her fault she was raped because she wore a short mini skirt."

[char713]

If I leave my car window down.. way down.. and the valuables in the seat are stolen it doesn't make the person who stole them any less guilty, but it absolutely does mean that I was stupid and reckless.

 

If a woman is wearing something overtly sexy (the very definition of the word implies that she is looking for sex) it is (at the very least) illogical for her to complain when she is sexually harassed or ogled. 

Edited September 1, 2015 by char713

[priesthoodpower]

"overtly sexy" dress as you put it (someone looking for sex) would describe a prostitute or some other really raunchy type of woman.

 

Sister Bednar is not addressing those women, she is talking to the very modest LDS crowd, which means that she is saying that LDS women are responsible for mens thoughts even when they dress a tad bit immodest. Which as I mentioned, some womans group out there would disagree with.

[char713]

I mean by overtly sexy anything that is deliberately chosen because of the attention it draws to the sexualized parts of the body. Sisters certainly don't come to church in club wear, but I have seen some outfits that were surprisingly borderline. 

 

I know a few sisters who have a problem with the principle of modesty even without strict guidelines. I don't know that those kinds of people can ever be satisfied. If the men of the church are entirely responsible for their thoughts and actions, with women having no accountability in the matter, then I don't know how they could ever remotely feel safe and unexploited outside the church either. LDS guys are absolute saints compared to the average dude. Just the lack of cat-calling is proof enough.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

 They happened to move not long after that, so I never really thought it through; but my instinct is that it is most assuredly NOT a man's place, except her husbands, and maybe maybe maybe the RS president might have occasion to say something, but I can't imagine how. She was a good and sweet sister who no doubt had no intention of making anyone uncomfortable. 

 

This comment made me ponder, who would be a good person to tell her?  I mean if it were me, I would want to know.  So who would I want to tell me?  

My husband, my daughter or a friend.  Certainly not the Bishop (as someone else suggested), or the RS President.  I've told my daughter, "If you love me don't let me walk out the door looking like a hot mess."  LOL  She asked me to do the same for her.  

Edited September 1, 2015 by LiterateParakeet

[Traveler]

This comment made me ponder, who would be a good person to tell her?  I mean if it were me, I would want to know.  So who would I want to tell me?  

My husband, my daughter or a friend.  Certainly not the Bishop (as someone else suggested), or the RS President.  I've told my daughter, "If you love me don't let me walk out the door looking like a hot mess."  LOL  She asked me to do the same for her.  

 

This reminds me of the time I had a conversation with an individual with multiple piercings and some tattoos on their face.  The person seemed to have a chip on their shoulder and barked at me, "What are you staring at?"  I responded, "I am staring at what you have on display."

 

I think the best thing for someone struggling with modesty is an example - especially a beautiful example of modesty.

[omegaseamaster75]

I have noticed we do not have this problem in our ward.  The dress is very modest, nothing 'tight' or 'revealing'.

In Anatess's two photos, the immodesty of the first is the bare midrif.  The open belly should not be exposed there, the skirt is okay, only with some type of shirt that covers the gut.  Please.

 

Well the focus was on the skirt which is not immodest, as far as bare midriff not church appropriate, but that wasn't the object of that post. 

 

We have a lot of Samoans, and I'm told also Tongans.  And he was in a Samoan (I think) tribal skirt and, well I didn't look him over much, you know, you have to pretend not to notice.  A colorful shirt and skirt.   He was leaving the church and I forget what time, so he might not have gone to sacrament meeting in that outfit, it might have been some type of well, maybe a Samoan baptism?

dc

 

It's called a lava- lava, daily wear for pacific islanders. Yes they have formal wear lava-lavas which are perfectly acceptable church wear.

Edited September 1, 2015 by omegaseamaster75