How did you know it was the right time to have your first child?

[Jane_Doe]

19 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

@Jane_Doe Congrats on finishing up PhD! What type of jobs are you thinking of? 

*deer in the headlights!*

Honestly I kind of want to get out of academic jobs and something more industry based.  Like a company which develops software for scientific uses.  Now that being said, I just got a job offer for an academic job....  

*deer in the headlights!*

Oh so stressful.... 

[Sunday21]

6 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

*deer in the headlights!*

Honestly I kind of want to get out of academic jobs and something more industry based.  Like a company which develops software for scientific uses.  Now that being said, I just got a job offer for an academic job....  

*deer in the headlights!*

Oh so stressful.... 

It is stressful! Let us know!

[Overwatch]

14 hours ago, Lee said:

My wife is pregnant so I have posterity already

Grats!  Well, you will be okay. Your baby is going to be a blessing

[Lee]

9 hours ago, Overwatch said:

Grats!  Well, you will be okay. Your baby is going to be a blessing

I have a distinct feeling that the baby will ruin my life. I've seen what parents look like and what their houses look like post baby and I am not ready to be like them.

[Overwatch]

1 hour ago, Lee said:

I have a distinct feeling that the baby will ruin my life. I've seen what parents look like and what their houses look like post baby and I am not ready to be like them.

Haha. I don't even know what to say. Yeah, it definitely is a sacrifice. Your life is going to change for sure. As far as being ruined you may be surprised or it may break you. I remember wanting to punch the dashboard while stuck in the car with my screaming infant. We were moving and my wife have to pee every hour so my 14 hour road trip turned into 21 hours. I completely understand your concern. Don't know what else to say but drive on. You got this (also, side note, now that you have a child you can stop. I mean we were commanded to procreate if we are able and you have done just that)

[Lee]

52 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

Haha. I don't even know what to say. Yeah, it definitely is a sacrifice. Your life is going to change for sure. As far as being ruined you may be surprised or it may break you. I remember wanting to punch the dashboard while stuck in the car with my screaming infant. We were moving and my wife have to pee every hour so my 14 hour road trip turned into 21 hours. I completely understand your concern. Don't know what else to say but drive on. You got this (also, side note, now that you have a child you can stop. I mean we were commanded to procreate if we are able and you have done just that)

I just don't think I can put up with that stuff, I will have to hide at work. 

[zil]

20 minutes ago, Lee said:

I just don't think I can put up with that stuff, I will have to hide at work. 

Or learn to put "that stuff" into perspective so that you and "that stuff" can coexist in the same time and space without you choosing to think / feel / act in negative ways.  Learn this, and you will be happier, more able to help others, and more successful at everything you do.

Being a parent offers you the best possible learning environment for eternity.  If you spend the next 20-30 years hiding at work, you'll arrive woefully unprepared for eternity, and will likely severely regret it - your kids might too.

[Overwatch]

3 hours ago, Lee said:

I just don't think I can put up with that stuff, I will have to hide at work. 

You'll gain the strength you need Bro. I wouldn't stress too much. Make sure to keep praying and just realize you are normal for being apprehensive.

[Lee]

8 hours ago, zil said:

Or learn to put "that stuff" into perspective so that you and "that stuff" can coexist in the same time and space without you choosing to think / feel / act in negative ways.  Learn this, and you will be happier, more able to help others, and more successful at everything you do.

Being a parent offers you the best possible learning environment for eternity.  If you spend the next 20-30 years hiding at work, you'll arrive woefully unprepared for eternity, and will likely severely regret it - your kids might too.

Sometimes it just seems easier to not bother with all the stress of children 

[Lee]

5 hours ago, Overwatch said:

You'll gain the strength you need Bro. I wouldn't stress too much. Make sure to keep praying and just realize you are normal for being apprehensive.

I don't know I am worried I won't step up and my wife is worried that I won't want to stay to help her with the baby 

[zil]

Just now, Lee said:

Sometimes it just seems easier to not bother with all the stress of children 

No doubt, but there are lots of good reasons to have children.  Perhaps seek those out and ponder them to see if you can ease some of your own worries.

Of course, by all reports, when they put that baby in your arms, you will change.  (I just don't believe in waiting for an impetus to initiate positive changes).

[Lee]

10 minutes ago, zil said:

No doubt, but there are lots of good reasons to have children.  Perhaps seek those out and ponder them to see if you can ease some of your own worries.

 Of course, by all reports, when they put that baby in your arms, you will change.  (I just don't believe in waiting for an impetus to initiate positive changes).

Really I can't think of any 

[Sunday21]

9 hours ago, Lee said:

I just don't think I can put up with that stuff, I will have to hide at work. 

Must go home and relieve wife!

[JayKi]

On 6/5/2018 at 11:56 PM, Lee said:

Really I can't think of any 

Bro I cant wait to have kids I will have army. I think once you have son and play/watch soccer with them then you will be able mould them into mini you and you will love them and see benefit of having child

[Lee]

1 minute ago, JayKi said:

Bro I cant wait to have kids I will have army. I think once you have son and play/watch soccer with them then you will be able mould them into mini you and you will love them and see benefit of having child

If I have a son then I will be very excited and I can turn them into a soccer prodigy. 

[Lee]

please tell me the most important thing to do in the third trimester to prepare for the new baby ?

[Jane_Doe]

23 minutes ago, Lee said:

please tell me the most important thing to do in the third trimester to prepare for the new baby ?

Learn laundry skills.

[Lee]

10 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Learn laundry skills.

I am a master of laundry although we are dryer less right now so maybe I will sort that out

[Jane_Doe]

4 minutes ago, Lee said:

I am a master of laundry although we are dryer less right now so maybe I will sort that out

The dryer isn't as important as the washing machine and knowing how to use it.  After all, you can always air dry things.  

[Lee]

Just now, Jane_Doe said:

The dryer isn't as important as the washing machine and knowing how to use it.  After all, you can always air dry things.  

I want to support my wife but I don't know what she needs me to do 

 

[Jane_Doe]

54 minutes ago, Lee said:

I want to support my wife but I don't know what she needs me to do 

 

Did you ask her?  The most important thing is listening and communicating with your spouse.

[Lee]

21 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Did you ask her?  The most important thing is listening and communicating with your spouse.

I wanted to surprise her because she is away with her family for 2 weeks