NeedleinA

No offense taken. I hope you don't take offense to my reply either. I think rereading my previous post might be helpful in this instance. I think you have confused yourself and/or perhaps heard what you wanted to hear. When we have sinned, part of repentance is restitution. Restitution is required to those that we have hurt with our sin. Repentance minus restitution, when possible, isn't really repentance at all. In the case of "pornography", the use of pornography is a sin, and coming clean to your wife is part of the restitution needed to fully repent for that sin. See below for starters...

It sure can be. It is much easier to repentant in "secret" than it is to face the person your hurt. This is why it is so easy to try to justify not telling the offended person..."because of not wanting to hurt the spouse's feelings". Make no mistake, the spouse has already been hurt by pornography. Now they deserve to understand the truth and origin of that hurt. They deserve to know why they were treated differently back then. YES, they were treated differently, just like they are treated differently when someone is suffering from depression.

Is this why when I ask my kids what they did for the last 2 weeks of school, they say: "We played games, ate popcorn and had long recess all day"

Regardless of the duration of it's use, pornography changes you. It affects both the user and the spouse. Because it affects both parties, like @Latter-Day Marriage said, you have hurt someone else, and therefore repentance requires confession & restitution. Part of restitution might be having to patiently suffer through your spouse's sadness, anger and hurt feelings for a while. While you may never have intended to hurt your spouse, and perhaps thought that you had kept it a secret from them, the changes that pornography causes are manifested in visible ways to them, though they might not have understood it or the cause of it. Without going into graphic detail, some of the net results of pornography use that a spouse would notice in the user... 1. Lack of attraction, spouse's appearance doesn't compare to others in the movies 2. Lack of desire to be intimate, needs were already met 3. More controlling, pornography teaches abstract views of submissiveness 4. Less patience, pornography teaches instant satisfaction 5. Retraction in the spiritual, pornography kills the spirit Etc. Etc. All the things that a pornography user "thinks" they have hidden and are secret really are not. The side affects manifest themselves and "do" hurt the spouse. If the spirit is prompting, like @zil said, the OP should follow that prompting and talk with her about it.

Okay... I'll ask, are you ready Backroads? I bet you are signed up to teach summer school anyways

I might be wrong, but I don't think Tesuji was saying anyone was supporting them, but rather the church was calling them out??

No apologies needed at all! Keep on posting and keeping the threads going!

Hilarious!

Sure does!

It would be fun, in a nice loving way, if there were cartoon characters made for the different types of Sacrament Speakers. I can think of few I've seen repeatedly over the years: 1. The "Quoter": Entire talk is made of 30-40 quotes and sits down without giving any personal commentary. 2. The "You Got Me": The person who gives 90% of their talk on how the Bishop got them to talk, hunted them down and how they shouldn't need to do this again for another 10 years. 3. The "Droopy*": They read from the their paper in a monotone voice and never look up once from the paper. *Hanna Barbera cartoon So on and so on. Just having a little fun. I realize many folks would rather walk in oncoming traffic than give a talk, so props to all that brave it.

My brother, a bishop, was recently approached by a brother (private contractor who worked in the Middle-East) who said he was done with the church. His reason? That my brother had reminded him about the letter from the Church offering help to the refugees during tithing settlement. "Why would we help people trying to kill us" was his comment. Ugh... what, seriously?? My brother indicated that it was apparent that this brother's pride of "I know better" than the Church blurred his judgement.

I'll second that too. 5 minutes will f-l-y by super quick. You don't have time to give any form of an all encompassing talk, so yes, a personal experience would work best. Just remember, no one expects you to get up and wow everyone with historical facts or deep doctrine. You sharing a personal experience will bring the Spirit to the meeting and that is all that is needed and hoped for. Good luck AI!!

Beautiful and spot on LP as always.

Real sad state of affairs if a great number of single men are just looking for a trophy wife... real sad. A marriage based on superficial thinking is one starting out on a sandy foundation, and you can ask any primary child what type of man that is. Sister Elaine Dalton YM Gen. Pres. describes Sister Mckay (wife of David O. Mckay) "There seated next to him was his wife, Emma Ray McKay. Although she did not wear a crown of sparkling diamonds, nor was she seated on a throne, I knew she was a true queen. Her white hair was her crown, and her pure eyes sparkled like jewels. As President and Sister McKay spoke of their family and their life together, their intertwined hands spoke volumes about their love. Joy radiated from their faces. Hers was a beauty that cannot be purchased. It came from years of seeking the best gifts, becoming well educated, seeking knowledge by study and also by faith. It came from years of hard work, of faithfully enduring trials with optimism, trust, strength, and courage. It came from her unwavering devotion and fidelity to her husband, her family, and the Lord." What happens to a trophy "spouse" relationship over time? Does it stand up if the "supposed" outer beauty is gone?

It is not uncommon for investigators to have confused feelings/attractions towards missionaries. Besides the fact that they are tidy, happy, well groomed and professional, they also bring a message with them that invites the Spirit. Unless explained well, those feelings of happiness, joy, optimism, warmth, etc can erroneously be attributed to the individual missionary instead of the Holy Ghost. Those feelings are to help investigators recognize the validity of the message, not to fall in love with a missionary.

While there is the potential, let her not forget there is also hope.

Thanks you two... nothing to see here EXCEPT hurt feelings!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I know... you have no problem supporting me on this one!

PLEASE no one "like" my Minny's Pie comment. After all these spiritual comments and Eowyn "choosing the right", I'm starting to regret my comment.

I am sooooo sorry but I couldn't help myself....sorry....sorry.... I am not going to win any spirituality awards on this thread at all Okay Eowyn, your comment reminds me of Minny's Chocolate Pie scene from "The Help". Okay, there I said - s-o-r-r-y!

Much respect for keeping your cool. If you are willing give up your calling to go put up with stuff like this (see picture) at Walmart, then Sister Tantrum must be extra cray cray! Have you smiled and forgotten about queen of fruit-loop people yet? If so mission accomplished!

@Eowyn Mention it to the Bishop. Then in a couple of weeks she will be called as the speaker in Sacrament on "Kindness towards others". She will repent and come and apologize to you for her actions. Also... ask to have her called as YW secretary so she can sit in on Presidency meetings and learn how YW really runs. Oh...just kidding... go @mirkwood on her!!

@flameburns623 It is funny that you suggested I look over Planted, since I previous quoted from that exact book in this thread to address one of your posts. Yes, it and other books are wonderful in addressing concerns of doubt. I'm sorry if you feel I need a bit more insight or empathy when it comes to those who have had a faith crisis, but I assure you as one who personally went through a faith crisis years ago, I have plenty of empathy for the situation. All of my comments that proceeded were solely to address what seemed like "I left the church over a scheduling conflict with my job". That statement was the one that triggered all of my responses, and has been the issue I have been seeking to address. IF you are saying you had a faith crisis and didn't leave the church because of "work" but rather you left over: disbelief, doctrine concerns, lack of faith, church history, doubts of the gospel, etc. THEN perhaps you may have perceived a bit more empathy in my statements. I would have approached your situation differently had you simply said "I went inactive because of a faith crisis" vs. a work scheduling issue. Just a point of reference, typically when I write on the forum I am writing for both you/OP AND for the benefit of others in your shoes who may come and read this thread later on down the road. I share ideas and suggestions so that they realize there are alternatives and avenues of hope they may follow instead of simply going inactive. Experiencing a faith crisis is not a required step in life's journey. For some it is, and many others it simply isn't. Ultimately Flameburn623, I do have empathy for you and your situation and truly wish you the best!! Be blessed as well!

Thanks for sharing your personal story Sunday. Hearing yours and JAGs today has been great. I enjoyed your entire post and especially how you closed it out (quote above).

Jane_Doe asked a great question.