Still_Small_Voice

That isn't what I said. You can't change other people by complaining about them. The only person you can change is yourself. Now an article where the author talks about ways they've changed some of their own behaviors and the positive effects it's had for them at church? That would be a good read, and a whole lot more effective than the article here.
Not only that, just as I mentioned any church, ours included, will always be full of individual people who fall short of who they should be, sometimes in really big ways. Always. The question is, do you learn to love them anyways, and work to treat them as Christ would, or do you grind your teeth and whine about "church culture" and overlook your own sins and imperfections? You can only change yourself.

Up at the altar there are souls...some are repenting, others are quietly joyful. There are tears, holy silence, and a lady in the corner is even laughing. A deacon is concerned by the seeming irreverence of this woman and goes over to whisper in the pastor's ear. He responds quietly, yet with force, "Leave that woman alone. I know her backstory. She has never laughed in her life and tonight she's experienced the joy of the Lord."
Meanwhile, in the back are a group of teens snickering about how fake the church is, and how there's nothing happening up front except a bunch of showboating:  Sophomoric cynicism that feigns to be insightful and honest commentary.

What I really dislike about articles (and writers) such as these is the bubble they live under.  They have zero awareness that the Church extends beyond the streets of Utah.  Saying this is "Mormon Culture" is as ignorant as Bernie Sanders saying Native Americans represent environmentalism...

At this point, I just skim the article, sigh, and go on to what's next. Complaining about articles like this is like complaining about zits, Democrats, or the tide. The author is unable to perceive the irony in the very writing of her article. I would call it hypocrisy, but the word "hypocrite" comes from a Greek term that literally means a play actor putting on a false face for everyone else to see, and I am not convinced that the author is sufficiently mature or self-aware to understand how much she exemplifies the traits she claims to disdain.

I dislike articles like this because they come off as whiny. They always focus on the idea of "if only everyone changed to fit my own view of things then the church would be great". It's just silly. The Church of Jesus Christ in every dispensation has been filled with mortals. That means that since Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, toes have been stepped on, people have been cold when they should have been kind, people have been nosy when they shouldn't have been, and rock steady members have apostatized and made others question their testimony. While I think honest attempts to improve ourselves are important, by complaining about everyone church wide instead of working on yourself, you guarantee nothing will happen. You can't change "church culture". You can change yourself, and while there are always exceptions and always will be until Christ comes again, most members are genuinely decent people who are trying to do better, so maybe try cutting each other some slack instead of complaining that everyone isn't perfect. Just my two cents.

https://thirdhour.org/blog/life/mormon-culture/culture-punch-in-face/

I have my own list if anyone cares to read:

1) Joking about trying to avoid the bishop or trying to get out of a talk or calling.
2) Saying that it is acceptable that you are consistently 15 minutes late to 9 am church when you have kids (same family continues to be 15 minutes late to 11:30 am church when the time changes... speaking from personal experience)
3) Focusing on exceptions and unique cases instead of principles of the gospel / leaving long disclaimers at the end of testimonies to prevent offending anyone. (ie "God wants all worthy able men to serve missions, but if you *insert 5 minute explanation as to why missions aren't for everyone*")
4) to-do lists are evil and Pharisaical. The higher law is to just be good and you will naturally do everything you need to.
5) Accusing anyone of hypocrisy or being judgmental. (These are just ways of redirecting personal failing that have been brought to light. And I am not sure we really understand what hypocrisy REALLY means)
6) Home Teaching was this terrible program that needed to change (it wasn't, it was a fantastic program that members failed at).
7) Desiring and enjoying leadership callings is bad. Aspiring to leadership is bad. (We should all be aspiring to Godhood and seeking opportunities to serve a grow along the way)
eight*) Dinner foods cant be eaten for breakfast (yes they can)
9) Complaining about church culture is cool. (It's not)

*Every time I typed "8 )" it turned into 😎

I remember this time - I could say so many things but here are some thoughts.  Unless it was a serious injury - the doctor came to you home - you did not go to the doctor - and no one has health insurance.  As a side note - the total cost of my first born was $250 that included a 3 day hospital stay - my first semester of college was $150.  I do not remember our doors being locked except when we were gone for multiple days on vacation.  I do not remember the church ever being locked.  I do not remember any dead blot locks anywhere.  I often rode a bicycle to school - which had a large covered space with a bike rack - I do not remember any bikes locked and I do not remember stolen bikes as a problem.  Children walked, sometimes as much as a mile to school and no one thought it was child abuse???  I would also point out that high school girls would walk home from school alone and in the winter in Utah it was after dark.  Kids as young as 8 years old would sell "spudnuts" (a type of donut unique to Utah) without supervision - door to door.
Some things have improved - but in general I do not believe for a minute that anybody is really that much better off today.  Listen to the music and watch the movies and TV programs of that era and see for yourself the concerns of that time.
 
The Traveler

All of which are better examples of unrighteous domination then they are of patriachal

I am as hardcore a patriarch as there is. Well, that's not true: God is way more of a patriarch than I'll ever be, at least in this reality. But in any case, I have no intention of "keeping it to myself". Any decent man (or woman) glories in patriarchy. The converse is very probably also true.
There is nothing boorish about patriarchy. That is just another feminist redefinition.

Update: All is well. Husband isnt thrilled about it, but is at peace with the policy and entering a church building.

Sorry you're faced with this. My thoughts in no particular order:
- the odds are slim
- obedience brings blessings (study scriptures, talks that reiterate this)
- get a copy of "The Cokeville Miracle" and watch it
- if Samuel the Lamanite can be protected from arrows aimed right at him, your family can be protected, too
- read Holland's talk about angels (Oct 08 conference)
- "let your faith be bigger than your fear" (post this in your home)
- maybe this is just another way leaders are asking the members to increase their faith
- for all we know, leaders will quietly ask certain (trained) individuals to carry but this is a more organized approach of handling things in these last days
- if a person's mission in life isn't done yet, you'll be spared
- if something does happen and your family is affected, there's important work being done on the other side of the veil
- stop watching/reading the news (having faith and peace is easier this way)
- if the above doesn't help, I'd rather ignore policy than commandments (take sacrament regularly)
{hugs}

In the Book of Mormon Captain Moroni Rebukes the people for thinking they can do "Nothing" and that God would just save them...
Other places in the scripture we are told that God will fight our battles and protect us if we are faithful.
It is a mistake to think those are contradictory statements rather then complementary ones.   The trick is learning how to balance the two ideas... And that balance can be different for different people.... it can even be different for the same people at different times

Buck Showalter was once ripped apart for running up the score as his team was stealing bases and taking extra bases while they were up by double digits.
In the post game press conference, his answer was simple: “When the other team stops trying to come back, I’ll stop trying to score....”
Regardless of who perpetrated 9/11 or what ideology they followed, the “memory” that is being referenced is that there are bad people out there....people whose SOLE existence is wrapped up in perpetrating evil, by proxy, giving them the upper hand.
Regardless of where he fits in the realm of ties to 9/11, if any at all, Quasem Soleimani was one of the most evil terrorists walking the planet, responsible for the loss of hundreds of American lives. Should we (America) have waited until he killed more??? How many more then???? What’s an acceptable number of lives lost before he deserves to be hunted???
We will never know how many lives Quasem’s death has saved.
But I will never forget what treating stone cold terrorists like they are inconsequential or incapable of mass destruction landed us. And if the vaporizing of Quasem prevented the loss of even ONE more American life, I’m good with it.
It’s hard for me to fathom that ANY American citizen WOULDNT be.
When they stop trying to come back, only THEN should we stop trying to win...and not a minute sooner.
 
(Language alert in the article)
You said you'd never forget September 11. You lied.
https://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/you-said-youd-never-forget-september-11-you-lied/
 
 
 
 

Ohhh... that's the better title.  I like it.

Yes, and some aspects of it are better than The Fall of Skywalker.

Heavenly Father is very generous with us in my opinion.  I try to be generous with Him in return in my tithing and I like to try to give cheerfully.

Heavenly Father is very generous with us in my opinion.  I try to be generous with Him in return in my tithing and I like to try to give cheerfully.

(Threadjack warning)
Ironically, it seems most of the folks who vocally equivocate tithing with taxes and seek to justify minimizing their “obligations” thereunder, have no problem with taxation—and the higher, the better—as a political principle; and indeed they can be quite vicious towards members of civil society whom they deem to be “not paying their fair share.”

The idea of “I obey moral standard x because I expect blessing y in return” is, as I recall, a legitimate stage Kohlberg’s scale of moral development; and I don’t begrudge anyone if that’s where they are.  But . . . We are expected to move beyond that stage; and it’s disappointing when a seemingly disproportionate share of the Church’s discourse/curriculum seems tailored to appeal to folks who are at that particular stage.
That being said, the “net-tithing net blessings” has a kernel of truth underlying it—not that there’s a strictly transactional relationship to tithing; but that tithing is an application of the Law of Consecration and that if we go into it looking for ways to get by doing the bare minimum, we are spectacularly missing the point of the principle and probably limiting the joy and personal growth that comes from sincerely and selflessly living a consecrated life.  

Though I never did the chant, I was for a long time a gross-tithinger. But someone (on this site I believe) pointed out hat of you paid on gross in a European country that had higher tax, you would end up with a unlivable income. 
My personal approach to living the law of tithing is still tovoay gross. I’m paid 1099 so I don’t have taxes taken out from my paycheck and instead I pay it all during tax season. Because I don’t know how much I will make in the year, tithing on “ net” would be difficult.
Additionally, it does not make sense to pay on net cause taxes are just another expense. If I were to justify that taxes deduct from my “increase”, then shouldn’t I be able to justify that my monthly rent, insurance cost, grocery cost, gas and electric,  etc all deduct from my “increase” too? I would end up paying next to nothing in tithing. 
That is my opinion but I don’t try to preach it cause I know there isn’t any official declaration on it. I just don’t feel right pay tithing on net.
And the chant seems stupid to me 

Article states the following:  "Cases of gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis have reached the highest levels ever recorded, according to a recent report from the U.S. Centers of Disease Control and Prevention."
This is another reason among many to live the law of chastity in my opinion.

Article states the following:  "Cases of gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis have reached the highest levels ever recorded, according to a recent report from the U.S. Centers of Disease Control and Prevention."
This is another reason among many to live the law of chastity in my opinion.

You mean... a woman can't just identify as a man and gain higher bone density?  WHAT?

We don't need to wait for tomorrow.  Here's the Vortcam:

 
 

After further thought on this and analyzing other people's thoughts this is what I feel happened with episodes seven to nine of Star Wars.  Disney wanted to make three movies after the original Star Wars Trilogy but had no overall plan.  Someone else said this and I completely agree with it:  "You do not take a multi billion dollar franchise and just wing it as if they were playing Whose Line is it Anyway? Star Wars should have received the Peter Jackson treatment [like Lord of the Rings] by filming all three films at once and have a coherent story arc."
When you have no overall plan for a decent story line for three movies this is what can happen.  It was not as if there was nothing good in episodes seven to nine of Star Wars because I did enjoy movies seven and eight.  The Rise of Skywalker felt to me like someone wrote the story line then handed off the script to another writer.  This writer was then rushed with seven other editors to just hurry up and get a movie finished.  There are undeveloped driftings on the plot line and material put in that just makes the movie end feel incomplete and silly to me.