Using "Ms." instead of "Mrs."

[Bini]

When a woman introduces herself and uses the title "Ms." do you automatically think she's a feminist? What do you think about married women choosing to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs."? For the husbands here, would you tolerate that? Maybe it's not a big deal either way?

[NeuroTypical]

I'll call people whatever they want me to call them. I don't care.

[Praetorian_Brow]

My understanding is that Ms. has replaced Mrs, which I am fine with, as its a bit odd to denote a ladies relationship status and not a mans. I actually feel uncomfortable writing Mrs.

Ms. used to signify unwed, while Mrs. used to signify wed. I am not a husband, but I don't think someone is a feminist when they use it. It just seems more fair using Mr. and Ms. and for the lazy part of me, one less letter.

[marshac]

When dealing with patients I don't know, it's always Ms for me when I address them.

[bytebear]

Maybe I am too old, but if a woman uses Ms. or has a hyphenated last name, I might assume she is a feminist. But if I also notice a man or woman doesn't have a ring on their wedding finger, I might assume they are single too. And if they have a nose ring or a mohawk, I might assume they are fairly liberal in their thinking. Simply put, I believe people do put out signals. If a person doesn't have a visible undershirt, does that mean they aren't LDS? I remember living in Utah and playing the "are they or aren't they game," waiting to see if they order coffee or not.

Edited December 21, 2013 by bytebear

[Dravin]

When a woman introduces herself and uses the title "Ms." do you automatically think she's a feminist?

No, should I?

What do you think about married women choosing to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs."?

I don't. Fussing over Ms. versus Mrs., particularly considering it is something generally only seen in formal address, just seems strange.

For the husbands here, would you tolerate that?

Tolerate? Am I supposed to beat her or something if she does? At any rate she took my name, if she's going to use Ms. in some sort of strike against the patriarchy it's a rearguard action.

[Vort]

I agree with LM and Dravin.

[pam]

I use Ms. Not because I'm a feminist but I've been married and when I think Miss I think of someone who has not been married. I'm not a Mrs either since I'm not currently married.

I don't see Ms as a sign of a feminist.

[Saldrin]

When a woman introduces herself and uses the title "Ms." do you automatically think she's a feminist? What do you think about married women choosing to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs."? For the husbands here, would you tolerate that? Maybe it's not a big deal either way?

Um I have never actually given it any thought.

[classylady]

It doesn't bother me one way or the other to use Ms. or Mrs. The only time I use Miss is with a child. For me, the feminist connotation of using Ms. is long gone.

[Quin]

This is another case of "Quinn travels too much."

Meaning... In some regions I take it to mean PersonX is a feminazi*.

In some regions I don't.

Just like Emily O'Hare née Jones, Wife of Edward... gets referred to by kids

(generalizing, I think there's actually 17 or 18 variations)

West Coast - Emily

Midwest - Mrs. o'Hare

South East - Miss Emily

(Variation Example: Kentucky: Ems OR Emily-O'Hare-Jason-&-Micks-Mama-down-the-next-holler... Aka either your shorten the name to a single syllable and pluralize it, or you give their full name plus family ties that relate to you AND their geographic location.)

How a woman refers to herself / wants adults to refer to her changes in different locations.

In SOME very conservative places, even just Mrs. O'hare would borderline feminazi (Mrs, Edward O'Hare, if you please.)

So I just go by local flavor.

What a person wishes to be called (up to a point, O draw the line at Queen of Sheeba; ), I call them. Miss. Ms. Mrs. First Namr, Last Name, Title (if they have one... Dr., Your Grace, etc.). Whatever. Roses by any other.

Q (ueen of Sheeba).

* I'm taking your use of feminist to parallel with the way I use femenazi/ radical feminist... As opposed to Feminism: The radical belief that women are people... Definition.

Edited December 21, 2013 by Quin

[prisonchaplain]

I often will use "Ms." when addressing others--especially in correspondence (e-mail or snail). However, when a woman verbally uses Ms. as a self identification then I do have that first impression that she's a feminist, and yes, a liberal. I'm sure if I got to talking to Pam I'd soon realize my first impressions were wrong. :-)

[NeuroTypical]

Anyone old enough to remember newspapers from the 1970's? There would be articles written by women with names like "Mrs. Bill Smith".

[Smudge]

I hate being refered to as Ms! I am unmarried and therefore a Miss - and happy for the world the know that! I have been known to score Ms off of forms and write in Miss!

[Praetorian_Brow]

Ms. is the printed short for Miss, which is how I understand it.

Edited December 21, 2013 by Praetorian_Brow

[Smudge]

Over here at least Ms has a couple of uses

1 - if someone is married but doesn't take their husbands last name (maybe for professional reasons = for example a teacher who gets married part way through a school year)

2 - women who are in a relationship but are not married

3 - women who don't want the world to know if they are married or single

I realise it might be different in the USA - but that is why I always score out Ms and write in Miss

[prisonchaplain]

I always understood "Ms." to be a rejection of Miss/Mrs. It was intended to put women on equal footing with men, by not revealing their marital status through the title.

[Latter Days Guy]

Over here at least Ms has a couple of uses

1 - if someone is married but doesn't take their husbands last name (maybe for professional reasons = for example a teacher who gets married part way through a school year)

2 - women who are in a relationship but are not married

3 - women who don't want the world to know if they are married or single

I realise it might be different in the USA - but that is why I always score out Ms and write in Miss

Funny that, as I know several married women who didn't take their husbands surname but use Mrs as their title. I also know several woman who are in a relationship but not married who use Miss.

I was taught that Miss was the title for an un-married woman, Mrs for a married woman and Ms for a divorcee.

[jerome1232]

I'm kind of amazed how misunderstood Ms. Mrs. and Miss are apparently.

I always understood Ms. to be short for Miss, and I had no idea there was a revolt against Mrs. going on.

[Smudge]

Funny that, as I know several married women who didn't take their husbands surname but use Mrs as their title. I also know several woman who are in a relationship but not married who use Miss.

I was taught that Miss was the title for an un-married woman, Mrs for a married woman and Ms for a divorcee.

Must vary - across the UK then as well between here and the USA

My mother is Divorced and hits the roof if anyone dares to refer to her as Ms

[Just_A_Guy]

When a woman introduces herself to me as "Ms.", I just make a mental note that she considers her marital status to be none of my darned business. Otherwise, no big deal.

Anyone old enough to remember newspapers from the 1970's? There would be articles written by women with names like "Mrs. Bill Smith".

I was always taught that formally, you address a widow as "Mrs. [husband's name]"; otherwise it's "Mrs. [her name]". But on researching a bit just now, it seems that Wikipedia disagrees with me. :shrug:

My grandmother was old school. I still remember getting birthday cards from her addressed to "Master Just_A_Guy".

[dahlia]

I use Ms (or Dr. or Professor) for business correspondence. For personal stuff, if I know the person is married, I use Mrs., everyone else is Ms.

My experience is that in a business situation, such as a conference, people introduce themselves as 'Suzy Q,' not 'Ms Q.' Even at church, women in RS introduce themselves as 'Jenny O,' not 'Mrs. O.' So, I don't have any reason to call them 'Ms' to their face.

I don't think of women who use 'Ms' as raging feminists. I think it's become part of the naming conventions. For example, online menus often only offer Mrs, Ms, Dr. or Mr. - no Miss.

One of my sisters worked at the NOW HQ for a while. You talk about your feminists... : ) Interestingly, aside from it being a terrible place to work for reasons I won't go into here, she got a lot of flack from her black friends who felt 'professional feminists' like that were out for white women only and that she shouldn't work with them. If you know anything about the feminist movement in the US in the 60's & 70's, it was very white oriented. There's a lot in feminist history to put women of color off.

Anyway, even after being asked to stay, she had to leave. Being called 'Ms' was the least of the issues.

[missmollymormon]

The whole ms. Vs mrs. Thing only confirms to me what I have felt my whole life- I was born in the wrong era... I am not married, but should I ever be, I would insist on carrying my husbands name and being referred to as MRs. I feel like "ms" is denying your husband... if I love someone enough to marry them, should I not be honored enough to carry their name? Thats just me, though. I am old fashioned...I dont particularly care what others choose to be addressed as... however, when a lady insists on "ms", I do tend to make the feminist assumption... not that I care, its just not for me.

[Wingnut]

When a woman introduces herself and uses the title "Ms." do you automatically think she's a feminist? What do you think about married women choosing to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs."? For the husbands here, would you tolerate that? Maybe it's not a big deal either way?

I've always thought of "Ms." as a title for women who are single but somewhat older for "Miss," or a divorced woman.

[Blackmarch]

When a woman introduces herself and uses the title "Ms." do you automatically think she's a feminist? What do you think about married women choosing to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs."? For the husbands here, would you tolerate that? Maybe it's not a big deal either way?

no. my first assumption would be that she has no idea she's using the form incorrectly. Dunno if i would find that grating on my nerves or not.